Citizen Snips
folder
Final Fantasy Anime › Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
3
Views:
935
Reviews:
8
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Final Fantasy Anime › Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
3
Views:
935
Reviews:
8
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
The Answer to Her Question (?)
Citizen Snips
By: The Heartless
A/N: I don’t own Final Fantasy VII/Advent Children.
Summary: Post AC. Crack fic. Yuffie asks Tifa a question that might go too far when the two are chatting about a sensitive topic. Unfortunately, a certain someone is prone to watching the enemy and over hears the conversation… Added warning and an apology.
Rating: (Currently) Teen
Genre: General/Humor
Pairings: Yuffie/Sephiroth. Yuffie/Kadaj. Yuffie/Yazoo. Yuffie/Loz. Hm, Tifa/?
Warning: Tiny spoilers for Dirge of Cerberus in the story. Mainly Yuffie’s involvement with the WRO. And actually, you can find an Easter egg somewhere in AC for the WRO. It’s a poster with Cait Sith on it. You’re gonna need to use the pause button of course.
Also, the return of circumcision talk. People, don’t encourage me. : P Seriously though, it’s the return of that kind of talk. Mostly implied this time.
Chapter Two: The Answer to Her Question (?)
A pint-sized shinobi (though she would never admit, after all, she still had time at only 18) strolled through Upper Junon with great ease. Before, when Shin-Ra had been in charge of the city, she found it difficult to even breathe. The air always seemed so thick with smog in Upper Junon and Lower Junon was even worse.
Even now, the city was still pretty polluted, especially the ocean water, but thankfully things were improving for the city. In fact, many cities were bouncing back because of the new, somewhat cleaner energy Barret and the rest of Corel had been coming up with.
Even Wutai was beginning to bounce back, not that it had ever really fallen in terms of the economy and the ecosystem. She missed the mountains and grassy plains of Wutai… The crisp, warm air, the chirping of birds and insects, even the ass backward traditions.
At that moment, something caught her eye. A flash of silver in the crowd.
She brushed it off. She’d rather concern herself with current events, rather than worry over a color. Post-meteor, the young shinobi had spent the majority of her time in Old Midgar and Edge. Almost immediately, Reeve had signed her to work for the WRO, the World Restoration Organization.
He claimed that having such a cute girl with him would boost support and registration, but she had the sneaking suspicion that that fact was…how should she put it? Untrue. False. Utter rubbish.
Regardless, after joining up with AVALANCHE and deciding not to pull a Patty Hearst (cheap shot), she decided to join up with him. After all, a diplomat’s daughter could not be seen with an eco-terrorist group and not have the man’s approval plummet. What other choice did she have?
Few people actually know of AVALANCHE’s true exploits. They may have helped bring down Shin-Ra and help evacuate Midgar when Meteor was falling, but few people actually knew Sephiroth was the one pulling the strings. Or of how the others, excluding herself and Vincent, went up north to defeat Sephiroth.
Again, another streak of silver flashed in front of her, this time obsidian--in the form of a cape--appearing with it. Yuffie’s stormy, grey eyes narrowed, but she continued on. After all, she had an order to fill and check for Reeve, even though this was far below someone who worked in the intelligence department of the WRO.
In any case, screwed up orders tended to wreak havoc in the small, but firm, newly organized organization. So Reeve sent her to fill it personally. They were all parts for airships, like the Sierra and the Highwind (which was recently retired in a touching ceremony, though she was loathe to admit she even liked the contraption).
Finally, she found herself nearing the former Junon Military Airport, where currently said ship, the Highwind, sat, waiting for its lines of devoted fans, passengers, and former crewmen to visit.
Already, the lines went around the block, which please Yuffie greatly. For old times sake, the Highwind was far better than the Sierra any time. Even if the Sierra didn’t make Yuffie quite as (motion) sick.
As she walked past an alleyway, she barely noticed a man dressed in black leather, with long silver hair, partially obscured by a black cape, and a huge ass katana hanging from waist and disappearing…into a building.
And she continued walking, staying focused would lead to smooth sailing. Even though as a member of the WRO’s intelligence division, she was obligated to go… Only a dumb ass would go to investigate. Alone. Without any back up or back up plan.
“Stop…” A smooth, baritone male voice purred gently, “Turn…”
For once, Yuffie did as told, though more from surprise than obedience.
Her eyes narrowed into gray slits as she approached the all too familiar man with silver hair, not quite sure what to do. The man had effing purred at her, if he was who she thought he was…
Squinting slightly, the short girl began checking the stranger over. In deed, the man was either a very good double or the real thing.
“You wouldn’t by any chance be named, ‘Sephiroth,’ would ya?” She asked suspiciously.
“Why, yes. Of course,” Sephiroth replied calmly, as if he weren’t like, one of the strongest men ever to exist. Anywhere.
“Geez, this guy,” Yuffie groaned, “Just askin’, see ya ‘round. Remember, don’t slaughter anymore innocent townspeople, no more slaughtering of innocent maidens… Oh, and don’t drink straight from the carton. That’s disgusting.”*
With that she walked away, leaving Sephiroth somewhat…stunned. After all, there was no point in fighting someone she couldn’t beat in a three-man team with AVALANCHE, let alone one-on-one. She didn’t want to admit it, but what Tifa said was true, that strength from two years ago was beginning to fade, or at least had reached its max limit.
“But don’t you want to know?” Sephiroth called from behind her.
“Know? Know what!?” She demanded quickly.
“Why I am back? What I am planning? The answer to your question…” Sephiroth answered in a somewhat sarcastic tone.
“Why are you back--Wait, the answer to my question?” Yuffie said, her nose wrinkling in confusion at that last part.
“Yes,” Sephiroth said, now leaning against the opposite wall of the alley Yuffie just left.
“What question? I never asked you a question,” She said, grey eyes narrowing.
“But of course you didn’t ask me. You asked Tifa…at the bar, over three months ago,” He reminded her seriously, “Something about…what was it now? Oh, yes. Foreskin.”
Silence. Yuffie had the decency to blush darkly as the memory of the conversation in the bar popped up, Tifa’s words with it.
“…I happen to think that if its not circumcised its creepy and repulsive…”
Sephiroth grunted quietly. “Why did I think you’d remember?”
“It’s been like three months!” She said, “You know, Tifa’s comments were just as bad as mine. You should take it up with her…”
“But she has Cloud,” Sephiroth announced smoothly, “And who do you have?”
“No one,” Yuffie muttered, glaring darkly, before attempting to run away.
Before she could even exit the alley, strong, well muscled arms pulled her back, pressing her warm flesh against slightly cooler leather. That was a feeling she shan’t soon forget.
“I just want you,” He whispered, pulling her against himself, “…to know…that was really an improper conversation to have! It was filthy, disgusting, and offensive. And strangely arousing...”
‘Now that was a bit of a disappointment,‘ Yuffie thought, not knowing what to say.
Silence ensued.
“WHAT!?”
“You heard me!” Sephiroth accused, sounding oddly childish.
No, not childish, but rather, boyish. She’d rarely seen Sephiroth during AVALANCHE’s travels, but when she did, she was often liked to hear his deep, baritone voice. It sounded as smooth as silk and a just as sexy feel to it. If only he were a singer…
This voice sounded off.
“Who are you? Clearly, you aren’t Sephiroth, in fact you’re nothing like him!” She accused loudly.
Sephiroth began to fade--no shrink…into a midget? Yuffie’s face contorted into a mask of confusion for a few seconds, briefly feeling irritated with the situation. An illusion?
“Why thank you. I do try to differentiate myself from the bastard,” Kadaj announced with a smirk.
“Kadaj! What the Hell are you doing here? And why’d you try to pretend to be Sephiroth? He does nothing for me in terms of fear!”
“Really now. Does he do anything for you sexually?” He asked, a cocky smirk appearing on his face.
“Honestly?” Yuffie said with a great pause, “Well yeah, maybe. But that’s beside the point! Little man, you go die now.”
“What about me!?” Kadaj shot back.
“What about you? No girl wants to be with a guy who looks more like a girl than she does!”
“I do not look like a girl! And besides, where’s your respect for the dead?” Kadaj demanded.
“It’s dead! As are you! At least you should be…”
“Would you stop saying that?” Kadaj asked, tone indicating he was slightly annoyed.
“No…” She proclaimed snidely, “No! Every day you breathe makes my life harder. Die!”
She was cutoff when Kadaj slammed his arms against the wall around her slim shoulders. His aquamarine eyes bored into her storm grey ones.
She was cute like that and it felt great to be so close to someone of the opposite gender. Brother had kind of always had a bit of a crush on her that he wouldn’t admit to. And the reason why was because once, he saw do something completely unforgettable…
“Yeah well, you make a certain thing harder for me, but do I complain? No. I make the best of it,” Kadaj said sweetly.
‘Hormone alert. Hormone alert, prepare to toss logic out the window--as if it hasn’t been done already,’ Yuffie brain practically exploded. ‘Over excitable much? YES!!!’
“So…Kadaj,” Yuffie said seriously, a genuine smile appearing on her face.
“Yeah,” He said unsure.
“Your lips, my ass. They should meet,” She sneered before adding, “And other places too.”
He could just see the little hearts in her eyes after she said that. ‘Gawd, I am probably returning them,’ He thought annoyed.
Before he could actually reply with a simple “Hell yeah,“ Yuffie was already bouncing away out of the alley, stopping for a suggestive wink before she left. Kadaj eyes narrowed in frustration, of another kind, a strangled noise coming from his throat, as his face turned red.
“WAIT!” Kadaj shrieked.
* This refers to an infamous quote from gamefaqs.com about Sephiroth.
A/N: Thanks for reviewing. Its very odd to think that someone has actually spoken about “that” with friends. As two reviewers noted, it is so. Very. Wrong. But for some reason, I wanted to see it through to the end.
Linneh! Get out of my head! : ) I was thinking about doing a Tifa/Zack angle all weekend. And I love Yuffie + any of the silver haired men (another reason I pursued finishing this story). And thanks for reading and appreciating the warning. The story is so wonky and its entire basis is so insane, I was worried the male half (not that the female half wouldn’t be offended either) of the readers might get upset about it and lodge complaints.
Next chapter? Lime. Yeah, I figured if I didn’t actually come through on the lime part soon, I’d be in trouble. But more flirtation and lime, that’d be okay, right?
By: The Heartless
A/N: I don’t own Final Fantasy VII/Advent Children.
Summary: Post AC. Crack fic. Yuffie asks Tifa a question that might go too far when the two are chatting about a sensitive topic. Unfortunately, a certain someone is prone to watching the enemy and over hears the conversation… Added warning and an apology.
Rating: (Currently) Teen
Genre: General/Humor
Pairings: Yuffie/Sephiroth. Yuffie/Kadaj. Yuffie/Yazoo. Yuffie/Loz. Hm, Tifa/?
Warning: Tiny spoilers for Dirge of Cerberus in the story. Mainly Yuffie’s involvement with the WRO. And actually, you can find an Easter egg somewhere in AC for the WRO. It’s a poster with Cait Sith on it. You’re gonna need to use the pause button of course.
Also, the return of circumcision talk. People, don’t encourage me. : P Seriously though, it’s the return of that kind of talk. Mostly implied this time.
Chapter Two: The Answer to Her Question (?)
A pint-sized shinobi (though she would never admit, after all, she still had time at only 18) strolled through Upper Junon with great ease. Before, when Shin-Ra had been in charge of the city, she found it difficult to even breathe. The air always seemed so thick with smog in Upper Junon and Lower Junon was even worse.
Even now, the city was still pretty polluted, especially the ocean water, but thankfully things were improving for the city. In fact, many cities were bouncing back because of the new, somewhat cleaner energy Barret and the rest of Corel had been coming up with.
Even Wutai was beginning to bounce back, not that it had ever really fallen in terms of the economy and the ecosystem. She missed the mountains and grassy plains of Wutai… The crisp, warm air, the chirping of birds and insects, even the ass backward traditions.
At that moment, something caught her eye. A flash of silver in the crowd.
She brushed it off. She’d rather concern herself with current events, rather than worry over a color. Post-meteor, the young shinobi had spent the majority of her time in Old Midgar and Edge. Almost immediately, Reeve had signed her to work for the WRO, the World Restoration Organization.
He claimed that having such a cute girl with him would boost support and registration, but she had the sneaking suspicion that that fact was…how should she put it? Untrue. False. Utter rubbish.
Regardless, after joining up with AVALANCHE and deciding not to pull a Patty Hearst (cheap shot), she decided to join up with him. After all, a diplomat’s daughter could not be seen with an eco-terrorist group and not have the man’s approval plummet. What other choice did she have?
Few people actually know of AVALANCHE’s true exploits. They may have helped bring down Shin-Ra and help evacuate Midgar when Meteor was falling, but few people actually knew Sephiroth was the one pulling the strings. Or of how the others, excluding herself and Vincent, went up north to defeat Sephiroth.
Again, another streak of silver flashed in front of her, this time obsidian--in the form of a cape--appearing with it. Yuffie’s stormy, grey eyes narrowed, but she continued on. After all, she had an order to fill and check for Reeve, even though this was far below someone who worked in the intelligence department of the WRO.
In any case, screwed up orders tended to wreak havoc in the small, but firm, newly organized organization. So Reeve sent her to fill it personally. They were all parts for airships, like the Sierra and the Highwind (which was recently retired in a touching ceremony, though she was loathe to admit she even liked the contraption).
Finally, she found herself nearing the former Junon Military Airport, where currently said ship, the Highwind, sat, waiting for its lines of devoted fans, passengers, and former crewmen to visit.
Already, the lines went around the block, which please Yuffie greatly. For old times sake, the Highwind was far better than the Sierra any time. Even if the Sierra didn’t make Yuffie quite as (motion) sick.
As she walked past an alleyway, she barely noticed a man dressed in black leather, with long silver hair, partially obscured by a black cape, and a huge ass katana hanging from waist and disappearing…into a building.
And she continued walking, staying focused would lead to smooth sailing. Even though as a member of the WRO’s intelligence division, she was obligated to go… Only a dumb ass would go to investigate. Alone. Without any back up or back up plan.
“Stop…” A smooth, baritone male voice purred gently, “Turn…”
For once, Yuffie did as told, though more from surprise than obedience.
Her eyes narrowed into gray slits as she approached the all too familiar man with silver hair, not quite sure what to do. The man had effing purred at her, if he was who she thought he was…
Squinting slightly, the short girl began checking the stranger over. In deed, the man was either a very good double or the real thing.
“You wouldn’t by any chance be named, ‘Sephiroth,’ would ya?” She asked suspiciously.
“Why, yes. Of course,” Sephiroth replied calmly, as if he weren’t like, one of the strongest men ever to exist. Anywhere.
“Geez, this guy,” Yuffie groaned, “Just askin’, see ya ‘round. Remember, don’t slaughter anymore innocent townspeople, no more slaughtering of innocent maidens… Oh, and don’t drink straight from the carton. That’s disgusting.”*
With that she walked away, leaving Sephiroth somewhat…stunned. After all, there was no point in fighting someone she couldn’t beat in a three-man team with AVALANCHE, let alone one-on-one. She didn’t want to admit it, but what Tifa said was true, that strength from two years ago was beginning to fade, or at least had reached its max limit.
“But don’t you want to know?” Sephiroth called from behind her.
“Know? Know what!?” She demanded quickly.
“Why I am back? What I am planning? The answer to your question…” Sephiroth answered in a somewhat sarcastic tone.
“Why are you back--Wait, the answer to my question?” Yuffie said, her nose wrinkling in confusion at that last part.
“Yes,” Sephiroth said, now leaning against the opposite wall of the alley Yuffie just left.
“What question? I never asked you a question,” She said, grey eyes narrowing.
“But of course you didn’t ask me. You asked Tifa…at the bar, over three months ago,” He reminded her seriously, “Something about…what was it now? Oh, yes. Foreskin.”
Silence. Yuffie had the decency to blush darkly as the memory of the conversation in the bar popped up, Tifa’s words with it.
“…I happen to think that if its not circumcised its creepy and repulsive…”
Sephiroth grunted quietly. “Why did I think you’d remember?”
“It’s been like three months!” She said, “You know, Tifa’s comments were just as bad as mine. You should take it up with her…”
“But she has Cloud,” Sephiroth announced smoothly, “And who do you have?”
“No one,” Yuffie muttered, glaring darkly, before attempting to run away.
Before she could even exit the alley, strong, well muscled arms pulled her back, pressing her warm flesh against slightly cooler leather. That was a feeling she shan’t soon forget.
“I just want you,” He whispered, pulling her against himself, “…to know…that was really an improper conversation to have! It was filthy, disgusting, and offensive. And strangely arousing...”
‘Now that was a bit of a disappointment,‘ Yuffie thought, not knowing what to say.
Silence ensued.
“WHAT!?”
“You heard me!” Sephiroth accused, sounding oddly childish.
No, not childish, but rather, boyish. She’d rarely seen Sephiroth during AVALANCHE’s travels, but when she did, she was often liked to hear his deep, baritone voice. It sounded as smooth as silk and a just as sexy feel to it. If only he were a singer…
This voice sounded off.
“Who are you? Clearly, you aren’t Sephiroth, in fact you’re nothing like him!” She accused loudly.
Sephiroth began to fade--no shrink…into a midget? Yuffie’s face contorted into a mask of confusion for a few seconds, briefly feeling irritated with the situation. An illusion?
“Why thank you. I do try to differentiate myself from the bastard,” Kadaj announced with a smirk.
“Kadaj! What the Hell are you doing here? And why’d you try to pretend to be Sephiroth? He does nothing for me in terms of fear!”
“Really now. Does he do anything for you sexually?” He asked, a cocky smirk appearing on his face.
“Honestly?” Yuffie said with a great pause, “Well yeah, maybe. But that’s beside the point! Little man, you go die now.”
“What about me!?” Kadaj shot back.
“What about you? No girl wants to be with a guy who looks more like a girl than she does!”
“I do not look like a girl! And besides, where’s your respect for the dead?” Kadaj demanded.
“It’s dead! As are you! At least you should be…”
“Would you stop saying that?” Kadaj asked, tone indicating he was slightly annoyed.
“No…” She proclaimed snidely, “No! Every day you breathe makes my life harder. Die!”
She was cutoff when Kadaj slammed his arms against the wall around her slim shoulders. His aquamarine eyes bored into her storm grey ones.
She was cute like that and it felt great to be so close to someone of the opposite gender. Brother had kind of always had a bit of a crush on her that he wouldn’t admit to. And the reason why was because once, he saw do something completely unforgettable…
“Yeah well, you make a certain thing harder for me, but do I complain? No. I make the best of it,” Kadaj said sweetly.
‘Hormone alert. Hormone alert, prepare to toss logic out the window--as if it hasn’t been done already,’ Yuffie brain practically exploded. ‘Over excitable much? YES!!!’
“So…Kadaj,” Yuffie said seriously, a genuine smile appearing on her face.
“Yeah,” He said unsure.
“Your lips, my ass. They should meet,” She sneered before adding, “And other places too.”
He could just see the little hearts in her eyes after she said that. ‘Gawd, I am probably returning them,’ He thought annoyed.
Before he could actually reply with a simple “Hell yeah,“ Yuffie was already bouncing away out of the alley, stopping for a suggestive wink before she left. Kadaj eyes narrowed in frustration, of another kind, a strangled noise coming from his throat, as his face turned red.
“WAIT!” Kadaj shrieked.
* This refers to an infamous quote from gamefaqs.com about Sephiroth.
A/N: Thanks for reviewing. Its very odd to think that someone has actually spoken about “that” with friends. As two reviewers noted, it is so. Very. Wrong. But for some reason, I wanted to see it through to the end.
Linneh! Get out of my head! : ) I was thinking about doing a Tifa/Zack angle all weekend. And I love Yuffie + any of the silver haired men (another reason I pursued finishing this story). And thanks for reading and appreciating the warning. The story is so wonky and its entire basis is so insane, I was worried the male half (not that the female half wouldn’t be offended either) of the readers might get upset about it and lodge complaints.
Next chapter? Lime. Yeah, I figured if I didn’t actually come through on the lime part soon, I’d be in trouble. But more flirtation and lime, that’d be okay, right?