Matters of Perception

And now, now you think I’m dead. Why do you think one such as I would die? Why do you think I could die? Mm... Honestly. Sometimes I just do not understand humans. Either way, it is not worth it.

My existence is what carries onward. It always has. That is how I am. Why should now be any different, Lifestream or no?

My answers are simple, really. It’s all for Mother. You have to understand this to understand anything about me. It doesn’t matter what, exactly, you wish to understand, only that you know it will always return back to Mother. If every path leads back to Midgar, or perhaps now Edge, every part of me leads back to Mother. She is my existence.

I fall because I should. I do as I am told. A lovely living puppet, adoringly doing everything as asked. If Mother wills it, it is done. No questions asked. Questions can be asked later, should I not come to understand her points and ways in the meantime. It is how she teaches me. Or at least, it is one of the ways.

I died to let my body return to the Lifestream. It was necessary to become closer to Mother. It was necessary to start a plan of action so far in advance that you could never see, never understand. A body is only a physical means of acting, in some instances. However convenient they may be at times.

I let myself succumb to the will of that not mine, again, because Mother said it would make our plans sweeter, our revenge that much stronger. Let them feel secure in the knowledge of my death, revel in the joys of the win; let them enjoy their peace. It brings great weakness to any enemy. And as with anyone who thinks they have won, they let their guard down once again.

And why not? I was dead. A second time. What more could I do?

Mm... Far more than most give me credit for. Can you not see that was meant to happen? That every last one of them played directly into our hands? Humans are quite predictable creatures when it comes to habit. But they forgot that I did not die the first time, so why would I have died the second?

They wished to rely on the Planet. That’s why. But the Planet was a fool, just like they were. The Planet aided us in the way we moved, Mother and I. She could have been enough, but she wanted more. She had me to do her bidding, and I do so happily, but she desired more. So more we created, from our watchful place in the Lifestream.

The humans cannot suffer enough. Not for the things they have done. What this is, it is merely retribution, served as ordered. Given as received. You push me, I push you harder. You hurt my Mother, and for that you must pay dearly.

But even still, no one expected me to survive. I had died, twice even. But I do not understand why they put such human limitations upon one who is clearly not human. I cannot comprehend why you do, either. But that is merely my lack of comprehension. Perhaps someday I might feel so inclined to seek some answers, should they ever be provided.

Death is not something as the humans look at it. Not at all. Aside from that point, what was I going to do? Melt into the Lifestream? Tch. I think not. The Lifestream is that of the Planet. It is human and of life from the Planet, and it simply has no control over me. At least, no where near enough to hurt me in any way like the humans think it would. It is merely a change in form. A lack of physical body.

And so it seems that a physical body is easy enough to achieve. My Remnants are a beautiful example. Such power and grace. Agility and finesse. But that is because Mother was so good to us. So good to me. She is so beautiful, gracious in all that she is.

And even still, why do you think my Remnants acted the way they did? Mother wished it of them. Willed it of them. Just as she did with me; does with me. It was by that and no other means that they gave into “death” so easily. It is by Mother’s will alone, her soft, firm voice, that I gave in so easily; that I let my body fall.

It gives us purpose, it gives us strength, and it gives them hope. Death is not an end. It never was. But humans are just so ignorant sometimes. Why would the Lifestream “dilute” me when I merely reside there, just as Mother does? It does not “dilute” her, though, Mother is far stronger and better at such things than I.

But you see, death is never the end, it is always just the beginning.