Traditions of Old/Only the Moon Howls

Story: Only the Moon Howls. Part 2

Title: Only the Moon Howls. Part 2
Fandom: Final Fantasy XII (Original Game)
Part of: The Courage of Being Free (au)
Follows: Only the Moon Howls. Part 1
Spoilers: If you don't know who Noah is.

Characters: Basch, Balthier. (Story withing story: Basch, Noah, Original Characters)
Pairing: The entire arc is Basch/Balthier. Here only hinted at.
Rating: NC17 for graphic violence and gore.

WARNINGS:
This is where you will begin to notice that it's an AU. The warnings below are for Basch's memory of the fall of Landis.
This chapter will contain rather graphic violence, gore, angst, torture, restraints/bondage, Original Character death, m/f rape (the victim being UNDERAGED) and other very nasty things.
I repeat: NASTY THINGS. You have been warned.

Author's notes:
I hated writing this chapter. My mental image of Landis was so sweet that I did not wish to tell of its fall.
This chapter might be as nasty to read as it was to write, I did not enjoy it.
Story begins right where Only the Moon Howls (part 1) ended.

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"I apologize, that was not my intention." Basch coughed, opening one eye to look at the pirate.

Opening his eye was not the best idea Basch had ever had. Balthier lay shirtless, chest heaving with his still heavy breaths and an ever so thin layer of sweat made his muscles gleam in the golden shine cast by the campfire outside. Basch forced himself to keep his wandering eye on the pirate's upper body, not willing to give in to the sudden urge that wanted him to see if the pirate's body was completely exposed.

"Ah well... I suspect this was nothing you have not heard or seen before, so your sanity should still be intact." Balthier stretched and sighed contently. "I thought you had fallen asleep."

"I had."

"Was I that loud?" Balthier seemed genuinely surprised and, to Basch's amusement, he sounded slightly sheepish.

"I wake easily. I do not think you have disturbed anyone." Basch kept his voice gently, knowing all too well the embarrassment of being caught in such an act. "Such sounds are not unknown to any of us, each and everyone here has probably been... overheard by a companion at some point."

"You are right." Balthier's mood had rather obviously shifted again, betrayed by how his lips curved slightly upwards. "Though this might be the first time someone has voiced their... approval."

"I am sorry." Basch blushed furiously and Balthier's smirk vanished.

"Been a while?" There was sympathy in Balthier's voice and, had he not been occupied by trying to control his blushing, Basch would have laughed at the fact that such a discussion made Balthier seem more caring than any other topic could have done.

Basch made a noncommittal sound, somewhere between a grunt and a hum.

"You did not leave the party when we last visited Rabanastre, so unless you take interest in the Garif..."

"Balthier! I..." He noticed the grin on Balthier's face a fraction too late and laughed despite himself. "Shameless pirate!"

"You should laugh more often, not only does it make you look five years younger but you also seem to get rid of all that tension you force into your muscles."

"You have hardly been very relaxed yourself these last few weeks." Basch interrupted.

"And it was some of that tension I sought to get rid off, unless you have forgotten." Balthier's smile faltered and a shiver passed through him, creating goosebumps all over his body and causing his muscles to twitch. "Oh fuck."

"What is wrong?"

"Just post climax cold" Balthier wrapped a blanket around himself, biting into his lips brutally as his whole form seemed to tense. "It's when your brain suddenly thinks that there is no longer any reason for your body to be warmed up and ready to go. You must know of what I speak. I have always been very sensitive to it when I'm outdoors."

"Of course I know of it... I have never seen it affect someone to such an extent." Basch sat up, taking one of his own blankets and putting it over Balthier's still shivering form.

"I am seldom thoughtless enough to remove both my shirt and blanket." Balthier closed his eyes for a brief moment. "It will go away eventually."

"You really hate the cold, do you not?" Basch laid back down, absentmindedly rubbing Balthier's upper arm.

"What on earth has led you to believe that?" Balthier's eyes wondered and fell upon the still evident bulge Basch seemed to pay no attention to. "Aren't you going to do something about that?"

"It will go away eventually." Basch smiled and had he been twenty years younger he would have stuck his tongue out.

"Ah, naturally... The moon and all that. I'd forgotten about it." Balthier took one of the blankets and handed it back to Basch. "It's such a shame. You could have made my blood circulation work again."

Basch muttered an old Landissian curse under his breath and Balthier smirked playfully.

"You are a very difficult man to understand, Pirate. Just when I think I know where you stand you shift positions again." He frowned and his hand slowed its ministrations, he was only partially aware that those ministratons had become caresses.

"You wonder why I seek your company at the strangest of times, make a few innuendos only to refrain from actually progressing with what I hint at." Balthier's shivers had subsided and Basch forced himself to remove his hand from Balthier's arm.

"You are not too far off." He turned to lay on his stomach, folding his arms under his chin and turning his head to be able to look at Balthier.

"Why not ask me? Who knows, I might even give you an honest answer."

"Well then, why do you?" Basch frowned and waited for the pirate's reply, expecting nothing less than another half-truth.

"One: You talk more when you aren't surrounded by others. Two: Your raised level of talkativeness makes your company more pleasant. Three: It's rather amusing to watch you blush." Balthier paused, taking a deep breath before he spoke again. "Four: To make certain that you have not submitted to madness."

Silence.

"I beg your pardon." Basch blinked in surprise, watching Balthier's face for any sign of jest.

"You are far too sane." Something in Balthier's eyes changed and his voiced softened ever so slightly. "I am waiting for you to react. Waiting for the mask to crack and for the thirst for vengeance to burst through."

"Nalbina... Is that what you speak of?"

"What else would it be? You spent two years in a place hell itself would find cruel and I have never seen you react to any of it. Heck, it was not a week ago that we walked past the fortress!" Balthier shook his head.

"And this you investigate by making unsuitable remarks?" Basch could not hide his disbelief and his question was almost ended with a nervous laughter.

"There is a reason for that as well." Irritation found its way into Balthier's otherwise even voice as it always did when someone dared to question and ridicule the Archadian man. "The only time I have ever seen you remove that mask was when we first flew to Buhjerba. There was something in your expression during that moment of absolute bliss, an unmistakable sign of sanity... Now I am merely attempting to catch a glimpse of what is behind that mask of yours, to make certain that what I saw is still there."

The weak golden light danced across Balthier's face, enhancing the defiant glimmer in his eyes and caressing the tanned skin. The pirate would not speak until he had watched Basch's reaction, something in the way Balthier's throat tensed and his jaw clenched told Basch as much.

They lay there in silence for a few moments, brown eyes never leaving Basch's scarred features. Basch listened to the younger man's breathing, steady and controlled in the way he controlled it during battle.

"Have you convinced yourself that I am, despite this madness you think will strike me at any given opportunity, not a threat to the group?"

"I am fairly certain of it."

Basch laughed but it was not the joyful sound his pirate had become accustomed to, instead it was harsh and humorless. He shook his head in disbelief, muttering a small oath to any God willing to hear it before he fell silent again.


"Basch." There was something in the way Balthier said his name that made him turn his head and he realized that Balthier was not only bewildered but also concerned. "I need you to explain this to me."

An elegant hand reached out to caress his cheek, a sign of affection so unexpected and uncharacteristic it caught Basch off-guard. His resolve crumbled when those long fingers gently traveled along the white scar that adorned his face.

"I do not know why my sanity is intact, despite what you seem to think. For two years I listened to those cries in the dark, I heard them howl every full moon and I was there when they screamed as the nightmares haunted them. I know not why I was not one of them. Perhaps it was because I knew that I was innocent, not once did I forget that." He closed his eyes for a moment, attempting to keep the unwelcome memories from clouding his thoughts. "Do you know what torture can do to a man, Balthier?"

"All too well." The gentle hand came to rest on Basch's shoulder as the pirate listened.

"The first time is not always the worst, it is when you understand that even if it stops it will not end. That is the worst. It may be the first or the tenth time, it makes no difference until you truly understand. You know that they will return and you cannot prepare for it. After that stage, you reach a state of mind where it simply doesn't matter anymore, your body is so accustomed to pain that you cannot remember ever having lived without it. Do you understand?"

"It does make sense."

"I reached that state of mind." Basch hesitated. "I reached it long before Nalbina."

Balthier's mouth opened in surprise but the words seemed to die before they reached his lips.

"You once asked me to tell you of Landis. I failed to mention how it ended." Tears began to cloud his vision but he did his best to ignore them.

Balthier's hand left his shoulder and dropped to Basch's wrist, giving it an assuring press.

"Landis burned on the twenty fourth day of the sixth moon during my eighteenth year. The war had raged for two years before we could smell the blood of the battle field." He tried to brace himself against the new flood of memories, knowing full well that he would lose the fight before it ever really began.

The weight of Balthier's hand felt nice against his lower arm, long fingers drew circles on his wrist and he felt the reassurance Balthier offered him, the reassurance and the comfort. With a slight shock he realized that he felt safe and he quickly ignored that thought and relaxed to let the memories flood over him.



My legs ached from the effort, my lungs burned with every breath I drew as I ran. The air was dry and my throat was sore from its efforts of forcing the air into my lungs. I knew I shouldn't inhale but I needed it. I needed it to run, to get away from here.

Noah coughed, for a split second I feared that he would fall and never get up again. The heat was unbearable and I could feel the fire licking my legs as it crept ever closer.
Through the sounds of the roaring fire I could hear the once mighty oaks of the forest fall as the flames devoured them. The fields seemed endless before us and I could not tell how many meters of burning wheat that lay between me and the forest.

Noah was beside me again and despite the impossible loudness that filled our ears he shouted something to me. He had to repeat it three more times before I heard everything he said.

"Te driehver vei a froh heim, ahl veij uhr e ahflam. Vei flangher idd heilahp."
'They are forcing us towards our home, all other paths are burning. We are running a gauntlet.'

He was right. They had meant to force us out of the woods and into the open, all twelve of us. And we had no choice but to run, herded like sheep into a slaughterhouse.

Thick smoke rose from the smaller fires on our sides, rising towards a cloudless and tranquil sky, effectively blocking all directions but one. I could smell it, the poison. It was an overwhelming smell that came from the wood and the poison was thick enough to manifest itself in the air, a stinging layer of it clinging to my skin.

Moegh.

I cursed, forcing myself to run even faster, to ignore the pain that flooded my senses. I heard some of the others fall, victims of a killer more deadly than a bullet in your head, a killer that suffocates the air itself. Suddenly, there was silence but for the sound of terrified humes running for their lives.

The sun shone brightly, my eyes stung from the smoke and I was blinded from the sharp rays of sunlight, the poison and the burning pain caused by the heat.
I stumbled and fell.
Barely had I hit the ground before the world went black.


In that darkness was nothing. Nothing but a soft warmth that comforted me. Relief flooded through me and I relaxed as all pain seemed to leave my body. I was certain that this blissful darkness was death, that the voices I hear belonged to the three Goddesses of Destiny and that my sentence would come soon.

The voices grew stronger and suddenly I was afraid.
Afraid because the voices were male. Afraid because I understood that I was not dead.
Afraid because I was still alive.

"Nor idd steigh mehr!"
"Savages, they don't even speak Common."
"Don't you dare touch him, you imperial aularihns!"
"What have we here, hm? Twins! How pleasant..."

I heard no more as the darkness wrapped itself around my mind again and I was certain that I'd been lucky this time. That I had actually died.
The next thing my exhausted brain registered was pain.

My arms were bound behind my back, something prevented me from moving my legs and there was a blindfold painfully tied around my head.
Noah was next to me, I could hear him swear under his breath as his tears fell on my shoulder.
That was the second time I'd heard Noah cry since he left childhood.

An eternity passed before my blindfold was removed. It took me a few moments to realize where I was and when I did, I had to bite back a scream of rage. Those bastards made us kneel not thirty feet away from the Circle,
I stared at the wooden statues, some of them created by my hands. I stared into the faces of the Gods and their hollow eyes did not see me.

A metal clad foot buried itself in my side and I was forced to press my face to the ground. Someone screamed somewhere behind me, I remembered that voice and yet it took me a while to understand from whom the scream had come. When it dawned upon me I filled my abused lungs with air and yelled.

"Idun! Fleigh!"

Idun couldn't run and my reward for that shout was a brutal punch that hit my jaw.
They dragged her past me and into the Circle, two men had their bloody hands on her, one had her arm in a firm grip and the other had wrapped her long braid around his hand, dragging her through the dirt while they laughed at her screams.
Strong hands held me in place and I was forced to watch them as they nailed her to the ground by using their daggers. The blades, nailed through her clothes and forced deep into the earth, did not break her skin and no blood was drawn.

Noah was somewhere to my left, I could hear him and the words he bit back as the guards laughed at us. I looked at him, noticing the tension in his arms and I spoke to him, told him to save his strength.

I was coughing again, the ashes seemed to swell inside my throat and my insides convulsed in pain.
Idun screamed again, calling out for her brothers, praying to deaf Gods and cursing the Empire. One of the soldiers kicked her brutally, no doubt breaking her ribs to silence her.

Orders were issued but I did not understand them, they spoke Common but their accents were so thick that for all I knew they could have spoken Rozarrian.

The tip of a sword pressed against my throat, forcing me to sit back up. I was too exhausted to be truly afraid and a strange calm came over me, an ice cold rage that seemed to travel with the heavy dose of Moegh in my blood, heightening my senses.
She was clad in the armor of a Judge and there was no doubt that she outranked the others for they all followed her with their eyes and like dogs ready to attack they seemed to eagerly wait or her command.

She changed her grip on the sword, leaving it to rest against my cheekbone, just below my left eye. She began to question us, efficiently learning how her captives were connected with each other and if they shared blood. We tried to remain silent or to avoid giving her an answer but every time that happened she nodded sharply and one of the men would begin to punch a captive. It was efficient enough, not even Noah ignored her questions more than once.

We were seven captives, six of us on our knees outside the circle. I knew their names. Five of the others were of my blood and only one was not directly related to me, even if she was still family.
They had lined us up, all of us except Idun.

My uncle and his wife, their son who was no older than fourteen kneeling between them. My mother was there, head held high and jaw firmly set, her eyes focused on her youngest child as if she could protect Idun with her glance.

"Woman, do you speak common?" The red haired Judge spoke heavily accented Landissian as she took a step back and looked at my mother. "Answer me or I will kill your son."

"I do." My mother replied, her eyes not leaving Idun for a second.

"Good. I will give you a choice but first..." She nodded again. "I want you to witness this."

She must have given some sign to one of the men for he stepped forward, drew his sword and bowed before the Judge. He then turned towards my uncle without hesitation, he raised his sword and in one swift move separated head from body. He repeated the procedure twice, swiftly leaving my aunt and cousin with gaping holes in their necks.
The ground was drowned in red blood and I held back a scream of surprise and horror, Idun failed to suffocate her sobs and I heard Noah pray for their souls.
My mother did not flinch.

"Now, woman, I want you to listen very carefully. You will have the chance to save one of your sons and only one. If you make the right choice, both that son and your daughter will walk out of here unharmed. If you pick the wrong brother, he alone will remain unharmed. You and your chosen offspring will be taken to Archadia where you will devote your lives to service the Empire." She walked over to my mother as she spoke, sword pointed towards her throat. "Now, make your choice."

"I can't." My mother trembled and all blood seemed to leave her face.

"Decide or you will all die."

"Not my children! Let them go, do what you want with me but let them go. Please."

I made up my mind right there and then.

"Vehjg Noah. The Moegh will kill me soon, Mother. Do not make me die for nothing, let me die so that you can live!" I spoke, my voice unnaturally calm.

"Basch, niek!" Idun sounded angry when she screamed at me, I suppose I understood why.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Noah tried to break free from his restraints. "Don't you dare it, Brother!"

"Well well... Looks like your choice was made for you, woman." The Judge laughed. "He does have a point though, without treatment there is no hope for him. He'll be dead before the new day dawns."

My mother wept, her lips sealed shut as she surrendered. The Judge bent down and took my mother's face in her hands.

"Too bad it was the wrong choice."

Chaos began.

It took seven Imperials to bind Noah and while they bound him he cursed. He cursed and he wept. Some of the curses were directed towards the men that restrained him, some were meant for the Empire. Some he spared for me.
Once my brother and mother were tied up completely the Judge began to speak again.

"You know what to do."

Three men made their way over to Idun and they removed some of the daggers. Two held her legs apart while the third placed himself between them. We all knew what was to come but our brains would not let us understand it and it wasn't until he unbuckled his pants that the undeniable truth struck us all with the mercy of a bolt.
Her scream as he forced himself into her small body... I will never forget it.

I couldn't move, the ropes cut through my skin and no matter how hard I fought them they refused to break. Next thing I know, I'm lifted from the ground and my legs are cut loose from their restraints, they hold me in place and I see an Imperial coming towards me, her steps calm and measured. She carried a flogger in her hand and a dagger hangs from her belt, right next to her quiver of arrows.

She cut my shirt open, or the burnt remains of it anyhow and looked at me. Then it began.
I did not count, there was no point.

It hurt, it hurt like hell. My skin broke already after a few rounds. Noah screamed my name somewhere far off, I could hardly hear him.

Everyone tell themselves that they would not scream if they were tortured. They are wrong. Sooner or later you will scream.
I did.

I do not know how long it took before they were done but the sun still shone and some damned birds sang.

What happened next is all a blur to me still, after all these years but I suppose it is only to be expected.

I was laid on my stomach, open wounds pressing against the earth and yet I was too deep into the pain to notice it. My hands were untied only to be tied again even if it was a different position. My pants were removed and my legs were spread, I braced myself in preparation for a pain I'd felt before. Instead there was the cold blade of a knife pressed against my lower back, just above my tailbone.

A precise cut, perhaps six inches wide.

Something pressed against the edge of the wound and a pain unlike anything I'd ever felt before or since shot through my body. Darkness came over me.

When I next awoke I could tell that something was dreadfully wrong. I couldn't move, I couldn't swallow and I could hardly breathe. My skin felt as if it had shrunk, I could feel the gentle breeze caress my exposed body and that pleasant feeling was enough to send me back into reality.

The first thing I saw was branches, the second was a blue sky and the third was ashen fields.

Everything fell into place and I cannot express the panic I felt when I understood the situation I was in.
My head was perhaps ten feet above the ground, my hands tied to an iron pole behind my head and my feet rested on some sort of edge that was attached to the pole.
The pole that entered me just above my tailbone and that came out where my neck began. It had been forced into an unnatural gap between my spine and my skin and it was responsible for the strange feeling, my skin hadn't shrunk, there was simply more in it.

I do not know if you have ever been in a situation like that one, Balthier. If you haven't then there is no way for you to understand, I cannot describe it. There is not much more I can describe for you, I spent the remaining hours fading in and out of consciousness.
Idun and I spoke with each other briefly before she passed, I will not tell you what was said between us during those twilight hours but I can assure you that I prayed for her soul after her death.

The army must have left after they'd finished their little construction and it could not have taken them long to get me into that position, it was hardly the first time they'd done it. Shpetning as it is called in the Landissian tongue, was one of the most common punishments for those who resisted the Empire. I did not see them take my mother or Noah away but I was later informed that the Judge had kept her vow, they were never further harmed.

It was dark when I heard the voices of men and women, I was more dead than alive by now and thus I cannot tell you what happened. I only remember two of the phrases I heard.

"Gods! This one is alive."
"By Eir! Get him down, for the love of Frigg, get him down."

It took two whole months before I could stand again, four before I could run. Half a year had passed when I killed that Judge.
I sought revenge. For many years it was all I could think about. I guess this is the madness you spoke of. I can't tell you why it stopped or which of the times I got captured and tortured that pushed me back into sanity. Into this state of mind of which I have already spoken.
It just happened.

Noah never forgave me for what happened.
I never had the heart to tell him that no matter which one of us had been chosen to live, they still would have killed Idun.
There never was a right choice.