100 ideas

Mm, this is not a nice story. It is one of those 2 AM thoughts that I can't leave alone. I literally came up with a title and summary and built a story around it. I'm putting this in my prompt list because of that, I feel it's not a stand alone story or even an oneshot, it's a prompt piece and should be treated as such.

Disclaimer: characters belong to their respective owners, no profit is made from this story.

Warning: dark themes, character death.

Prompt: Cloud Final Fantasy VII; the blood never did seem to wash away.

Not betaed because I dun wanna.

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I killed him. Everyone knows that, knows that I stopped him. It's what I'm known for, why they call me their savior, their hero. That's what I wanted when I was younger, to be a hero. It's why I went to Shinra, why I wanted to be a SOLDIER. I never realized what that meant, what it entailed. They know some of my horrors; know some of what I went through, but not really. The only one who truly knows what I survived to become that hero is gone.

Sometimes I swear he's still here with me, telling me to follow my dreams no matter what. I don't think he realizes how that hurts me, if it really is him anyway. I dream of him, only him. When I close my eyes it's either his kindness or the blood on my hands. Zack always did try to find the best in everything, find hope, a reason to go on. I like to think that he would have forgiven me for what I've done, would have ruffled my hair and made it better. But he's not here, he can't do that for me anymore. I hope that my dreams are just that, not him talking to me. It makes it worse to think that he has been watching over me, that he's seen what I've done.

The one dream that I have haunts me. I see silver hair, black leather, shining steel, and blood. So much blood. I know Sephiroth will never forgive me, he's made that clear. I know those dreams are more, know that his cruel laugh that seems to linger even after I open my eyes is really an echo of his consciousness. The damn Jenova cells make sure he'll never really be gone. Aerith's purifying water may have destroyed the Geostigma, but it couldn't get rid of all the traces of that taint. It's too deep in my blood, woven into my very genetic makeup at this point. She's always in me and so is he because of it.

I'm rambling, I know. I've never been good at expressing myself, so please excuse it. I just had to let you know why I did it. I can't clean my hands, can't escape that blood, his blood. Sephiroth may have tried to kill us all, but he was still my hero, still the one I wanted to be. I'm the reason he died. I killed him. Three times his blood was on my hands and it will never go away. I'm sorry, but I can't live with that anymore.

I'm sorry,

Cloud.

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Hollow sapphire eyes stared down from the cliff at the wastelands, a soft breeze ruffling golden locks. They should be finding his letter soon, be heading out to find him. a mirthless smile twisted plump lips at the thought. It was sad, how they never saw it coming, never did anything to stop him. Cloud knew that Vincent recognized his behavior, had known what the blond was going to do. They shared too many of the same sins after all. Cloud had often wondered if Vincent hadn't attempted this as well. It would surprise him if the gunman hadn't; in fact the blond was pretty damn sure that the attempt had been made. That was something he'd been thinking a lot about lately, if the attempt would even work. The modifications they had both endured might stand in his way, might make it so he was stuck with his sins forever.

The sound of his cell phone ringing brought the blond out of his thoughts. Glancing down at the caller ID Cloud scowled. Tifa honestly thought he'd answer now, after he ignored her so many times before. With a snort the blond threw the phone aside, watching with detached interest as it fell over the edge of the cliff. Mako enhanced eyes followed its progress until it smashed into the rocks below, breaking into tiny pieces. Idly he wondered if that would happen to him if he were to jump, but he quickly dismissed the thought. He'd fallen from greater heights before and been just fine. No, his original plan was what he would stick with; it was more likely to work after all.

Moving back to his motorcycle, the blond opened one of the side compartments. Pulling a single blade free, Cloud moved towards the memorial he had erected for the person who still haunted his dreams. "I'm sorry Zack," he whispered, running a hand over the hilt of the great Buster sword, "I just can't seem to escape my dreams anymore."

He waited, almost as if expecting a reply. When none came he smiled, a small, broken excuse for a smile, and turned away. Moving back to the cliff edge, Cloud brought the piece of his sword up and pressed the tip of the blade to the base of his neck. Closing his eyes, he grasped the sword in both hands, the distant sound of an airship just reaching him. With a single deep breath, he pushed the sword into his flesh and allowed himself to fall.

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Like I said, not a happy story at all. Also not smut like the first two chapters of this. I had some issues with both my keyboard and Microsoft Office while writing this, so please excuse any errors I wasn't able to catch and fix at 3 in the morning. Reviews are welcome as always.