Through Pain And Tears

Title: Through Pain And Tears

Chapters: 3

Pairing: ZellxSeifer

Rated: M

Warnings: Yaoi, sexual assault, abuse, violence, rape, consensual (Later), OOC

Disclaimer: I Don't own Final Fantasy VIII. It belongs to Square Enix

Summary: Ever since Seifer got back, he's been depressed and lonely. Some people aren't happy that he's returned. Will there be any hope for the tall blond? Can anyone help Seifer?

Word Count: 3,206

Author's Notes: Well, here you go! I finally have another chapter finished! I hope it's not too bad.. I just thought of this and decided to write it. Please read and review!

Cindy-- Thank you for your last review! I am glad you liked it. I hope you like this chapter as well!

Please enjoy!

 

 

 

“Hey, Seifer...” said a soft voice, causing said man to be startled, as he was lost in his head, not really paying attention to what was around him at the moment. Though, he'd been like that an awful lot lately, Zell noticed with a worried frown. It was getting around the time for him to head to his girlfriends' dorm, so he was in the midst of getting ready to head there. He had on a loose blue shirt, a stripe in the middle of it, and a nice pair of blue jeans. His hair was sliced back a little, making it where it's not in his face. He hate having hair in his eyes all the time, so he found himself doing that a lot of the time.

“Hey, Zell,” Seifer replied, now noticing that the shorter blond looked like he was ready to go out somewhere. “Are you going out somewhere?” He eyed the other man, giving him a once over. He did look very nice though, Seifer admitted to himself. Which he really did. He loved them pants on Zell, they made him look great. Then again, everything Dincht wears looks good to the blond gunbladist. “You look all dressed up.”

“Huh? Oh.. that? Yeah. See, Marlene invited me to her place tonight to watch movies,” Zell answered with a smile to Seifer, who tried in vain to not say anything that he would regret later.

“Oh.. I see..” Seifer wasn't happy that he was going over to his girlfriends' place, and he frowned. He wanted the other man to stay here with him, but he wouldn't say anything out loud to him, make himself look like a fucking wuss. He really hated his girlfriend; he couldn't stand the bitch. “When? I mean what time are you going over there?” He was looking intently at the other man, making the other man give him a curious look. And maybe worried? Seifer had no idea what Zell must be thinking inside that head of his. And as much as he would like to know, he refrained from asking him anything, finding if he wanted to talk to him, then he would.

He knew he was jealous that Zell was going to be spending time with her.. Seifer didn't really wanna even think her name right now, finding it made him sick. Seifer couldn't help the feelings of jealousy he was having. The man he loved was spending time with his girlfriend and he hated that. Fuck, he hated the fact that he was dating her. He had never told the martial artist this, though, finding it was a waste of time, especially since he was seeing someone else; someone he loved.. that thought made Seifer inwardly sigh sadly. Love? Yeah, that stung Seifer; stung him to think that he loved this girl. H was looking to Zell, waiting for an answer. He saw him giving him a weird look, and he turned his face away.

“Hm,” Seifer turned to him, quirking an eyebrow. “In a little bit,” he finally answered, scratching the back of his neck and shrugging. “Like, in ten minutes I'll be leavin.'” He observed the expressions on the other mans' face, but not quite able to tell what they were. He couldn't read Seifer; he was a hard man to read. He had a good poker face. After what happened to Seifer, Zell was actually reluctant to leave him alone. Why exactly? Well, he honestly didn't know. He just knew he was. He was actually questioning himself on that. Why did he care so much? Well, the younger man knew he cared for the Ex-Knight. But why did he care this much? He eyed him for another moment, still trying to find something—anything that might give away to what Seifer was thinking and feeling. But coming up with nothing, he sighed slightly.

“Ahh..” was all he could say.

“I could stay in.. you know, if you wanted me to?” Zell suddenly blurted out, internally cursing himself for it. The hell did he say that for? For one; he had already told Marlene that he'd come over to her place, and for two; Seifer appeared to be fine.. at least by appearance wise, Zell noted. He saw Seifer giving him a weird look, as if saying, 'what the fuck?' Well, he could see the question on the other blonds' face.

The other man shook his head. “Nah. You should go. Besides, she's already expecting you. I'll be fine.” His question had shocked Seifer, though. Why would he ask that? Did he care about the other man that much... to cancel his date? Seifer's heart speed up at the thought of Zell really caring that much about him, and it made his stomach flip. Dammit. Why does this have to happen? Him falling for a guy who's already taken. When he would see the look of concern on the tattooed mans' face, he felt touched, and his heart would skip a beat. He couldn't help but feel this way, though. Hell, it wasn't very often someone would show him such concern, so he liked it—especially from Zell. He leaned back on the couch and gave him a small smile.

“Are you sure?” he asked to just to be sure. “I mean, I can always cancel.” He didn't understand what was making him act so concerned, but just knew he was and wanted to make sure Seifer was fine... especially after what had happened to him. He quickly shook that though away, finding it just made him angry again.

But again he shook his head. “Dincht. I said I'll be fine.” He rolled his eyes, but secretly loved Zell's concern and appreciated it. “Just go. Have fun.”

“Alright,” he relented, seeing Seifer insisted that he go out. “Okay. I'll see ya when I get back. I'll lock the door on my way out.”

All he got was a nod in return, letting him know the other heard him. “Okay. Bye.” He waved.

Seifer gave a half-assed waved in return, but apparently Zell didn't noticed, as he walked out the door a moment later, shutting it softly behind him. When he was gone, Seifer frowned. What should he do now? Well, there really wasn't much to do in Zell's room. He sighed. Now with Zell gone it was quiet in here. Suddenly he missed Zell's presence. He always loved the other mans' presence, though, finding himself wanting it.

Just the thought that he was with his girlfriend brought Seifer into his jealousy. He hated the feeling of jealousy, but knew nothing could be done about it. Seifer decided to get up and go get some food from the cafeteria. There was still time before they closed down. So, with that though, he walked out of the room.

XxxX

Squall walked along the halls. He was supposed to meet Irvine at the gates in a little bit. He just finished getting ready. He was wearing hip hugging leather pants, give a perfect view of his figure. His shirt was a little tight, black, tank top. He looked rather sexy in this ensemble. Irvine had seen what he was wearing and also liked it.. maybe a little too much in Squall opinion. Squall scoffed. That damn cowboy and his flirtatious ways. He knew what the other man was like, so it didn't surprise him. He'd just roll his eyes at it, knowing what a flirt he was.

He didn't really have a desire to go out tonight, but knew his friends' were persistent about it. He knew any arguments he would give over the matter would be futile.. completely pointless. They all thought he needed to get out more. Squall himself thought he was fine. He enjoyed his solitude. He enjoyed staying in. He had never been one for going out, really. He was the kind of man who just liked staying in and enjoy his alone time when he got it. He couldn't help that's how he was. His friends saw it differently, though. They were always trying to include him in their outings, no matter how much he would protest.

Well, he would admit, he did enjoy it every once in a while. But they seemed to like to go out all the time. “Squall?” That voice broke him of his inner musings. He turned to face the voice, shocked to see a tall blond standing there.

“Seifer? What are you doing out here?”

“Just thought I'd wonder around. Maybe get myself some food.”

The brunet nodded.

“What are you doing? Aren't you suppose to be going out with that cowboy?” Seifer inquired, cocking his head to the side.

“I am,” he admitted, frowning. “I have a few minutes. Besides, I just finished getting ready.”

“You're wearing that?”

“Yes.”

Seifer observed him. He had to admit, Squall was very attractive. And what he was wearing added to that. He was wearing something that made his figure better. He had always known the anti social boy was good looking; he did have eyes. He nodded to him, still looking Squall up and down, which the other man took notice of.

“What?” He looked himself over, trying to see if there was something on him. Seeing nothing, he looked back up to the tall blond, raising a brow.

“Nothing,” he said quickly. “Nice outfit.”

“Thanks.” The anti social boy eyed him.

“Where are you suppose to meet him at?” he decided to ask to strike up a small conversation. Shit. Wasn't like he as busy or anything.

“Outside the gates,” he answered, pointing in that direction. He frowned.

“Ah. I still can't believe you agreed to go out with him,” Seifer chuckled and shook his head.

“Don't remind me,” Squall scoffed. “I still regret it.”

The other nodded. “I can tell. Why did you agree to it anyway?”

The shorter man shrugged. “I don't know. To get them off my back.”

“Hmm.” Seifer nodded. “Yeah. They're persistent when they want to be. I know Selphie is at least. That girl can get you to do pretty much anything.”

The other gunblade wielder nodded in agreement. “Tell me about it. I'm only doing this to shut them up.”

“I can see you doing that,” Seifer agreed. Squall was the type to do something just to shut someone up... especially people like Selphie, who wouldn't give up until she got her way. But that's just how the small girl was. They had known that. “You know, you could have just said no and locked yourself in your room,” Seifer grinned.

Squall made a face. “You actually think that would work?”

Seifer laughed, a sound Squall hadn't heard in a long time from the taller man. “Knowing Selpie? Nah, it probably wouldn't.” He enjoyed talking like this with his fellow gunblader. He actually couldn't recall a single time when he and Commander Leonahrt actually spoke like this before. He found it refreshing and it also helped clear his mind a little from unwanted thoughts. But, he knew that this wouldn't last. Squall would leave, then he would be with his thoughts once more. That thought made him frown, gaining a curious frown from the other man.

“You alright, Seifer?”

“Yeah,” he answered, nodding. “Just thinking about the last time we actually spoke like this with each other..”

“Hn. I don't think there was a time when we did.” Squall knew there hadn't been, so he found it nice as well. Better than always dueling with their gunblades. They had grown passed that. Though, they still had their spars every once in a while.

“I know. You should probably go meet with your date. He's probably going to think you stood him up.”

Squall gave a wide eyed look to Seifer. “I-it's not date. He's just dragging me out with him.”

Seifer smirked a little. “Uh huh.”

Squall glared at him. “It's not... whatever.” He gave up, sighing.

“Okay.”

“I'll see you later.”

“Yeah,” Seifer nodded his head, watching Squall walk away to meet with Irvine. Sighing, Seifer decided to get himself some food.

XxxX

“Zelly!” His girlfriend said, which was high pitched. “How about this one next?”

Zell eyed it and then shook his head. “I saw that one already. I hated it.. He dies at the end. You know I hate sad endings.”

She frowned. Actually, she didn't know this piece of information. Should she have known? How come she hadn't known this? Her and Zell had been together for a while, you would think she'd know that about him. “Yeah,” Marlene settled for saying, not wanting to say she hadn't known. She sighed and continued looking through the pile of movies on her table. They had already watched one, now they were looking for another one to watch.

Marlene was enjoying her time with her boyfriend. She loved having him over anytime she could, loved going out with him to places, love being around him in general. “Oh! How about this one?” She showed it to him and again he shook his head.

“Nah. I don't like the one either. The plot sucked.” Zell's mind was fully on the evening with her. His mind would trail back to Seifer and what he was doing.

“Zell... this is the seventh movie I suggested and you shot down every single one of them.” She eyed him for a moment. “Is there something wrong?”

“No. Why would you ask that?”

she gave him a look. “You just seem like something is bothering you...” she trailed off, staring at him with a thoughtful look on her face. “Do you not want to be here?”

“No.. it's not that, Marlene--”

“Then what is it?”

“I don't know,” he sighed.

“What's wrong?” She wanted to know, though she did have a suspicion at what be going on with him.. a reason she was usually on edge.

“Nothin...”

“Don't lie to me, Zell,” she glared. “I know it's something.” She thought for a moment. “Zell?”

“Really, nothing is wrong,” he tried to assure her.

She didn't believe him. “Is it Seifer?”

“Is what Seifer?”

“Are you thinking about him?” she asked him, a frown on her face. She new that he often talked about the other man, and she hated it. He should talk about her.. not about that asshole.

“..Yeah,” Zell admitted. “I can't help but wonder if he's alright.”

“Who cares?” she said before she could stop herself.

Zell whipped his head up and stared at her. “Who cares?” he echoed, not believing she had actually said that, thought he knew she didn't like Seifer, but that was still wrong to say that, too. She hated him and knew it was his own fault that it had happened. He got what was coming to him. She was glad it happened. That fucking bastard deserved whatever came his way. He deserved more. And if she had it here way, he would have never been let back into garden. She still didn't understand how Squall could admit him back in. They were doing fine without him.

“How can you say that?” He managed to glare at her for saying such a mean thing about the man. He hated when she would talk about him like that; like he didn't matter. That wasn't true; he did matter.

“It's true,” the red headed girl stated simply, shrugging. “He got what he deserves.”

Zell's mouth hung open. “How dare you say that about him!” Zell burst out, finally losing all patience with her. Sure she was his girlfriend, but Seifer was a friend of his, and he didn't deserve that—didn't deserve to be talked about so badly either. Seifer was a good guy, who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. He didn't deserve this kind of treatment. And just because she as his girlfriend, didn't mean she had the right to say that shit.

She looked stunned, eyes wide. “W-what? I'm just saying it like it is.”

“You don't know him,” he started, “I do. We all do. That's why we forgave him and why Squall took him back. We understand what happened back then, you don't. You don't know shit about him, Marlene. You have not right to talk so badly of him when you don't even know him. You don't understand what he went through.'

“I Understand he's a fucking traitor,” she snapped out, crossing her arms, believing herself to be right.

He shook his head. “You can't say that without knowing what really happened back then. You wasn't there with us. You can't say shit about something you know nothing about!”

She huffed. “Whatever.”

“I don't know why you can't understand that,” the young man told her, sighing sadly. “He's not a bad guy.”

“He tried to kill us,” she pointed out with a glare.

“He wasn't in his right mind.” Zell was getting tired of explaining this to her. She wouldn't—couldn't fucking understand. So why try? She was just believe what she wanted, Zell realized this. “You wouldn't understand. He's not a bad guy, you know.”

She glared at him some more. There was more reasons as to why she hated that man, but didn't wanna say anything to him about it. She didn't want him to know.

“You know what? I think I should just leave for the night,” the blond told her, standing up.

“Why?” she asked, also standing up, walking over to him.

“Because, I need to cool off, Marlene,” he said this with a sigh, looking suddenly tired. He was upset about what she said, and wanted to get out before he said something that hurt her feelings. He didn't like her saying things about him and it made him angry. He needed to relieve some pent up frustrations on something.

“All this worked up over him?” Marlene asked, shaking her head. “I don't know why, though.”

“That's right. You don't understand it.,” he said, giving her a look, to which she just stared back, defiantly. “I don't think you will either. I'll see ya later, Mar.” He walked out of her room, not even glancing back when he did. If he had, he would have seen a rage in her eyes. He left her to her thoughts.

XxxX

Author's Notes: Here's another update! I hope it isn't bad.. I just thought of this and it took me a few hours to write. I hope you enjoy it! Please review!