Viral Love

Hojo’s soft, rhythmic breathing brought me comfort, and I hated that. I licked my right upper fang, waiting for it to recede. Sometimes it didn’t retract as fast as the others…

I hated that I loved his taste, too. He made me feel drunk. It never lasted long enough to be a problem, but right now I wouldn’t have a chance in hell of acting with my usual speed or strength. Hojo’s blood doled out power in the long run, but it did satisfy immediate hunger. Each time I tapped his vein, I felt better, more complete in some way.

He turned toward me, putting his face on my arm and using me for a pillow. I lay there frozen a moment, torn between accepting or refusing his touch. I hated touching people as a rule, but Hojo’s skin to skin contact never felt like I imagined. It changed every time it happened. Right now, his flesh made me feel… warm. Very warm, actually; like his blood reached for him through me.

Experimentally, I brought him very close. He settled into my arms with a long, drawn out sigh of absolutely shameful enjoyment. Throwing his right leg over my hip, he dropped a hand down to my ass and let it lay there.

A small, unintentional laugh escaped me. His irrepressible nature had shining moments, and this particularly stood out. He wasn’t even awake and he tried to grope me. I’d felt him struggling against touching me while I drank his blood, but it seemed he couldn’t keep his willpower while asleep.

It wouldn’t hold up in court. My pulling him close could be seen as entrapment.

I knew somehow, some way, I’ll been sexually active with him. I just knew it. He wouldn’t tell me, either. And, I’d been ruined to just ask Chaos what had happened. Knowing Chaos never existed outside my own mind really bothered me in my unguarded moments.

I forced my mind toward the goal of remembering. Again I accessed a white fog, with occasional glimpses of Hojo’s face. I caught fear, hope, and desire. Then, finally, unmistakable pleasure. From the angle, I must have been right on top of him. But, he hadn’t lied to me, damn it!

I kept reviewing that scene, attempting to see more, to no avail.

Hojo’s quiet, soft breathing pulsed against my neck. For just a moment I felt like just tightening my arms and crushing him. The moment passed very quickly. I relaxed and closed my eyes. I needed sleep.

*******************************************************************************

When I awoke, Valentine was tending to his morning hygiene. I watched him wiping his bare chest with a washcloth, fascinated by his range of motion. He had arms long enough to knock someone out from across a room, perfectly sculpted and firm, just like the rest of him.

His red eyes flicked in my direction for the briefest moment. Slowly, he bent to wash his face in the sink. He took a long time, tending to washing his hair as well. With practiced movements, he pulled a section from his crown and knotted the hair there, ensuring he had a viewing hole. He then slid his bandana back on and tied it carefully. Still damp, he donned his leather top and strapped it tightly. “Is there some reason you’re watching me?” he asked.

“Does a man give a reason to watch a sunset?” I asked back.

“It’s sunrise, not sunset,” he argued, walking toward me.

“Not in here,” I deflected, ignoring his automatic scowl. “So, where do we go now?”

“The Gold Saucer to make some real gil. We need wheels to get across that desert of quicksand and monsters.” He put on his boots and slung the CR over his shoulder. “Why aren’t you up yet?”

I obediently got up and dressed, rinsed my mouth out and tied my hair back. “I’m ready,” I said not five minutes after his verbal prodding.

“Good.” He marched out. I followed.

In less than an hour we reached the tram between Corel Entrance and the Gold Saucer. We paid the attendant and got on. I detested these things, these suspended trolleys. What if a cable broke? Shouldn’t we have more than two measly cables holding us thousands of feet in the air? Why were the propellers so close to the cables?

“Calm down, mad man,” Valentine intoned as the trolley lurched to life. “Sit on the opposite side of me so we’re balanced.”

I parked myself, closed my eyes and focused on my breathing. I was not in a cramped little balsa-wood box, climbing higher and higher into the stratosphere. I did not hear anything, no chains, clanks, creaks or ominous popping sounds. The cramped, balsa-wood box did not shake with the force of violent winds…

Valentine’s hands dragged me into the floor. He sat facing me, his face serious. “This better help, or I’ll have to knock you out. You were shaking the trolley with your convulsions.”

“It does help to be even a little closer to the ground,” I admitted, wrapping my arms around myself.

“This is perfectly safe traveling,” he answered, sounding disgusted. “I can get you out of here safely even if it isn’t safe. Can’t you control yourself?”

His comments and questions were starting to piss me off. “Control two phobias at once, is that what you want me to do?” I asked, suddenly just incensed. “Take my mind off it, then, Valentine!” I challenged, forgetting my fear and standing straight up. “If it’s so fucking easy, do something about me!” The trolley began to rock alarmingly, but I didn’t even care. I’d had enough.

Valentine reached out and roughly yanked me back to the dirty, sticky floor. In half a second I stared up at him from there. “Your crazy ass is going to lie right here,” he informed, snarling. “You even look like you’re going to get up, I’m going to prevent it as painfully for you as possible.” He leaned closer, his peeled-back lips exposing his blood teeth. “There, I’ve solved your problem.”

The rhythmic shifting of the rickety car made his body strike mine. I rocked back and forth between his spread thighs and braced hands. Having him overtop me in genuine anger felt both thrilling and terrifying, but I settled for thrilling. I felt reassured, too, for I knew he could rescue me in a second if this trolley fell apart.

I loved seeing him angry. He looked so beautiful with his red eyes blazing, fine eyebrows gathered and teeth bared. I’d always had a soft spot for men like him, but he beat any I’d ever played with. He had monster in his soul, right alongside avenging angels.

“Would it help if I actually fucked you?” he asked, surprising me out of my little staring session. “Would we be able to get on with our mission if I did? Would you stop your infernal, covetous looks and random groping if I gave you what you wanted?”

I debated answering. The truth wouldn’t get me anywhere, but neither would a lie…

“No, I don’t think it would make a difference,” I answered truthfully. “Might make it worse, in fact.”

He grimaced. “You’re so fucked up, Hojo,” he swore, sitting down and hauling me to sit between his legs and facing away from him. Keeping his hands on my shoulders, he gave me a slight shake. “Stare at the clouds or something.”

“What a splendid idea,” I murmured. “Show the man who’s afraid of heights, proof that he’s a million miles high.”

The trolley jerked sickeningly. I sucked a quick breath through my nose, let my head drop back. “We don’t have to return this way?” I asked, hopeful.

“It depends if Dio still manages the Gold Saucer. He never liked any of AVALANCHE but Cloud, so we may have trouble.” Valentine shifted a little. “We can expect Shin-Ra personnel there, too, so keep your eyes open.”

“Dio,” I repeated. “The man in charge of the races and fighting events?” I’d met him once at a Shin-Ra mixer. His muscles had truly impressed me. “Is there any lodging in the Gold Saucer? I’ve never been there.”

“You’ve never been to the Gold Saucer,” Valentine repeated. “Hojo, even I have been to the Gold Saucer.”

“I’m a busy man,” I snapped, tired of forever defending my deficiencies in one way or another. “I don’t like parties, copious amounts of alcohol, gambling and whores. I suck at games and I can’t even win gil from a scratch-off lottery ticket. Why in hell would I go to the Gold Saucer?”

Valentine was silent for a very long moment. Then, he began to chuckle. I endured it for a while, then lost my patience. “What’s so damn funny?” I demanded.

He quieted. I waited a few beats before he spoke. “I said nearly the same thing to Cloud,” he confessed. “I hated that AVALANCHE had so much to do at the Gold Saucer. The lights, the noise, the obnoxious music, the alcohol and gambling offended me.”

Slightly mollified, I let my shoulders droop. The floor under us was disgusting, I noticed. A hundred years of used gum, spilled soda and tracked filth, and we sat in it. We sat in it because I couldn’t get a handle on my fears.

Slowly, I put a hand on the seat opposite me. Bracing, I got myself off the floor and into the seat. Valentine gave me a long look, his crimson eyes measuring, comprehending, and accepting. He settled back onto the seat across from mine. “Good,” he said quietly. “Good, Hojo.”