Those Three Little Words
folder
Final Fantasy VII › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
7
Views:
860
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Final Fantasy VII › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
7
Views:
860
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Final Fantasy VII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Bargaining
Somehow you begin to think it’s your fault.
It’s illogical. It’s irrational. It’s completely you.
You remember mouthing off to Tseng a few days prior to Rude’s departure. It was stupid. Tseng always finds some reason to criticize you. This time is was dress code. You made some comment about removing ‘Laney’s tit from his mouth long enough to grow a pair. Your not sure if it was the comment insinuating that he was screwing the rookie or that he was less of a man that did it, but you think you may have went a bit too far. Rufus didn’t quite lecture you, but you know the only reason he made the trip a week earlier than scheduled was to get you out off the office.
Asked why you weren’t going with Rude and the answer you got makes you cringe. At the time of course you were pissed and at that point you still had enough sense not to say stupid shit to the President. He told you with little emotion that discretion was needed. That and you quote, the balls to the wall attitude you possess though at times is appreciated, for something of this magnitude a more subtle approach was needed.
So once again, you’ve proven what you see as finesse others view as reckless behavior.
But you weren’t there and Rude still hasn’t come back.
If he just stopped this stupid shit and came back like he was supposed to you could change. Be a better Turk, a better partner.
If he’d just pay attention to the rule…your rules, you could tell him what you should have told him. All you need is one more chance to not fuck it up. Show him you could be serious.
Tell him the truth for once and not hide behind the damn convenient lie. You are sorry you lied. Sorry you were a coward. You could take a bullet, kill a man and still you couldn’t face the truth behind what you truly saw him as. That you stopped seeing him as just a partner to long ago to remember.
That you’d purposely get so drunk he’d have to help you home just to feel the warmth of his hand over yours, hoping for once he’d follow you in. Coulda, woulda, shoulda. Didn’t.
You’d gladly give your own sorry ass to the lifestream. You deserve the unknown. For fuck’s sake you still haven’t cried.
Inside you beg and you plead with whatever god will listen to you to give him back. You make promises to stop doing this, you’ll give up that. Even if it killed you inside you’d stay away from him, if only he’d come back.
Because even if you have to watch from afar you think that’d be okay too. Just so long as he comes back.
You close your eyes, you count to 10, and you have offered all you have to give and everything that isn’t yours. You open your eyes and watch the door, the seconds ticking away until you have nothing left.
Because a shit like you has nothing to offer.
After all it’s your fault.
Rude is dead.
It’s illogical. It’s irrational. It’s completely you.
You remember mouthing off to Tseng a few days prior to Rude’s departure. It was stupid. Tseng always finds some reason to criticize you. This time is was dress code. You made some comment about removing ‘Laney’s tit from his mouth long enough to grow a pair. Your not sure if it was the comment insinuating that he was screwing the rookie or that he was less of a man that did it, but you think you may have went a bit too far. Rufus didn’t quite lecture you, but you know the only reason he made the trip a week earlier than scheduled was to get you out off the office.
Asked why you weren’t going with Rude and the answer you got makes you cringe. At the time of course you were pissed and at that point you still had enough sense not to say stupid shit to the President. He told you with little emotion that discretion was needed. That and you quote, the balls to the wall attitude you possess though at times is appreciated, for something of this magnitude a more subtle approach was needed.
So once again, you’ve proven what you see as finesse others view as reckless behavior.
But you weren’t there and Rude still hasn’t come back.
If he just stopped this stupid shit and came back like he was supposed to you could change. Be a better Turk, a better partner.
If he’d just pay attention to the rule…your rules, you could tell him what you should have told him. All you need is one more chance to not fuck it up. Show him you could be serious.
Tell him the truth for once and not hide behind the damn convenient lie. You are sorry you lied. Sorry you were a coward. You could take a bullet, kill a man and still you couldn’t face the truth behind what you truly saw him as. That you stopped seeing him as just a partner to long ago to remember.
That you’d purposely get so drunk he’d have to help you home just to feel the warmth of his hand over yours, hoping for once he’d follow you in. Coulda, woulda, shoulda. Didn’t.
You’d gladly give your own sorry ass to the lifestream. You deserve the unknown. For fuck’s sake you still haven’t cried.
Inside you beg and you plead with whatever god will listen to you to give him back. You make promises to stop doing this, you’ll give up that. Even if it killed you inside you’d stay away from him, if only he’d come back.
Because even if you have to watch from afar you think that’d be okay too. Just so long as he comes back.
You close your eyes, you count to 10, and you have offered all you have to give and everything that isn’t yours. You open your eyes and watch the door, the seconds ticking away until you have nothing left.
Because a shit like you has nothing to offer.
After all it’s your fault.
Rude is dead.