Blonde Ambition

‘I'm sinking like a stone in the sea.
‘I'm burning like a bridge for your body.’

Cloud's head was tilted back. His eyes were closed.

‘I'm sinking like a stone in the sea.’
‘I'm burning like a bridge for your body.’

He had hastily put his headphones in. It was on shuffle. The first song that bubbled up to the surface was Tautou by Brand New. Cloud slowly inhaled … And exhaled shakily.

‘I'm sinking like a stone in the sea.’
‘I'm burning like a bridge for your body.’

Brand New was alright. Soft core. Sensitive. Whatever. It was a band that Tifa had recommended, and all the damn songs were about unrequited love. Nice, Tifa. But sometimes Cloud was in that sort of mood. And when the slow, quiet chords began as he fumbled with his Mp3 player, he was grateful for her on again, off again taste in chick music.

‘I'm sinking like a stone in the sea.’
‘I'm burning like a bridge for your body.’

Truer words were never sung. He put it on repeat.

His heartbeat was finally slowing when he felt an elbow bounce against his, "You awright Cloud?" Cameron whispered.

Cloud nodded.

There had to be something mentally wrong with him. Fucked up in his head. How was it possible for a human being to desire a stranger so badly? He focused intensely on killing his painful erection with his mind. But just knowing he was there. Right there. Slowly his eyes opened and looked to the stage.

The elderly headmaster was speaking. Cloud couldn't hear and didn't want to. His eyes moved slowly to Sephiroth.

He had his head tilted slightly to the side, listening. Hair still spilled over one shoulder, and long legs were stretched out in front of him, one ankle crossed over the other. The man sitting next to Sephiroth flicked his arm, and they looked at each other.

It dawned on Cloud that it was Zack Fair. An ever so slight feeling of calm blotted his panic, remembering their hours long conversation weeks ago. What had they talked about? Movies, music, the academy, just shooting the shit. Even though they were just acquaintances, Cloud still felt like … Maybe someone was in his corner. Someone at this place cared.

Better now, he turned off the player and pushed it into his pocket.

"- boys are going to be the best! A small group like this has many advantages and I'm going to make damn sure that each and every one of you take full advantage of everything that's being offered to you! By God this group will excel to heights tha -"

He rolled his eyes and started to put his buds back in. Cam nudged his elbow again, and held out a palm. They both shoved one end in an ear, sighing.

Cloud turned off the shuffle and put on what he wanted.

"What da fuck is this?" Cam winced.

"Anal Orgasm," Cloud whispered.

Cam crossed his arms in annoyance, but his knee started to bounce steadily up and down.

Through a sharp veil of screaming and drums, they listened out of one ear about how lucky they were to be in this year's group, and that they were obviously headed for world domination. The head drill sergeant was lengthily introduced. He looked like he was going to be a total hard on. But the boys supposed that's what his job description was. Gigantic, Fucking Hard On.

"I'm going to make SOLDIERS out of you!", "I won't stand for slackers or crybabies!", "Blah blah blah!" His red face was shouting, larger than life on the monitor. Cloud poked Cam and made a face Jim Carrey would have been proud of, and both boys snickered wickedly to each other.

Then a woman was introduced, she apparently was the head office lady, in so many words. She spoke gently to them about changes of schedule and room, telling them about the hours of the cafeteria and to remember to eat balanced meals, where they could find extra copies of the school map, guidance counselor, and other such practicalities. She crossed the line from helpful woman into crazy lady when she sniffed back tears about how proud she was to see another strong group of boys about to become men. "Blow me, grandma." Cam muttered, and Cloud stifled a chuckle.

Then, Zack stood up and went to the podium, "This guy's cool." Cloud whispered. Zack told them briefly that since tomorrow was the first day of the new semester, it was Big Brother Day. Himself and several other SOLDIERS would be all around campus if they needed help with anything at all. "Just look for me and those jerk offs in the second row," He added, pointing.

Then another man stepped up to speak, he was the head of education. He wanted to make sure the boys knew that academic classes were just as important as physical classes, and that no mercy would be shown on slipping grades, and that a failing grade would result in a repeated year. "Thanks for the info, dick." Cloud whispered, causing Cam to snort.

Yet another useless individual was lengthily and pompously introduced and he told the group that there would be random drug tests. Any sort of narcotic or steroid would result in a dishonorable discharge. He also said that sexual intercourse on campus would result in a write up. Uh oh! Three writes ups and you're history.

"So we can get laid twice!" Cam crassly pointed out, "But we can get blown however's much we want!" Cam stuffed his tie into his mouth to keep from laughing while Cloud covered his own with both hands, stomping his feet wildly.

"Shut the hell up! We're gonna get in trouble!" Cloud wheezed.

Cameron took out his end of the headphones, sat straighter in his seat and crossed his arms, making an effort to be good.

Cloud sighed happily and put away the player. The music and joking had definitely taken the edge off.
Until the General stood up.

It got so quiet in the room that Cloud could hear the boots thud against the wooden stage. And with every thud, a tiny tingle jolted through his groin.

General Sephiroth stopped at the podium, filling up the empty space on the huge monitor. He looked for a moment dead on into the camera, cat eyes adjusting to the bright stage light.

Cloud took in every single detail. Sephiroth's perfect jaw line. His smooth skin. His hair. Eyes. Lips. Throat. Body.

Then those eyes moved, looking over the small crowd of boys, slowly.

"I have nothing to say."

Cloud exhaled slowly.

It was exactly as it should have been. Soft, low, pooling, calm. Underneath the voice was a throaty rumble. Cloud, being a foreigner, detected a hint of the Midgar accent. Although far more careful than Cam's sloppy dialect, Sephiroth's voice was still back alley slums taught to be upper plate. Expressive, but smoothed out. Cloud wished he could drive all the propriety out of that voice, forcing that prim 'nothing' to become a 'nothin'' on top of him in the dark. Cloud absolutely melted.

But then he registered what the man had actually said.

"I'll have something to say … When I see what you can do."

There was a long silence. Sephiroth was still looking over the boys.

"If there's something you want to know, I'll tell you. Stand up."

Cloud, almost involuntarily, clamored to his feet and out into the aisle, practically panting, wanting to get a decent place in line.

But … Nobody was lining up.

And … The entire room was looking at him.

What was going on?

He glanced over to Cam, who simply sat there, looking horrified for his new friend. Then he saw Cam's big brown eyes flick to behind his shoulder, and watched the face turn from horrified, to petrified, to mortified … To incredibly amused.

The monitor behind the boys. The other monitor facing the stage.

Cloud was on it. There he fucking was.

His mussed hair, his black vest, his skinny jeaned legs and all.

Blushing like a virgin on his wedding night.

There was no room in his brain to fit the entirety and perfection of his humiliation. If God had appeared in that moment and offered him instant death, Cloud would have taken it without hesitation.

Before he could sit back down to hide in shame, an usher pulled him farther out into the aisle and shoved a microphone in his limp hand, actually closing Cloud's trembling fingers around it.

Frozen.

Cloud looked at the monitor of Sephiroth.

Sephiroth looked at the monitor of Cloud.

Then, as if the scenario couldn't get any worse, the image on both monitors split, becoming half Cloud, half Sephiroth. It was like CNN in hell.

Cloud had to watch himself, watch himself, mortify himself.

"Name?"

It was almost a whisper, "Cloud. Strife."

Sephiroth blinked calmly.

'A question,' Cloud prayed. 'Give me a question.'

Like rush hour traffic, a million perverted thoughts went spinning through his brain. Do you like it wet and tight, or rough and sloppy? Have you ever wanted to make a love slave out of a blonde, small town boy? How big is your cock in inches and diameter? I'm saving my virginity for you, would you like it with fries? Did you know I'd do anything for you? Can I please taste your tongue? Do you know that you're beautiful? What can I do to make you happy?

Could you love someone like me?

If Sephiroth was getting impatient, he didn't show it.

"Sephiroth?" Cloud finally said, his own voice fully entering his ears. He was surprised to hear it. He hadn't actually heard himself in years. It sounded young, obviously gay, but with his own soft version of a masculine rumble. A purr. If he had heard himself on the phone he wouldn't mind continuing the conversation.
White eyebrows raised slightly, listening, waiting.

The thoughts were still buzzing by, and out of time, Cloud grabbed onto one and went with it.
"What kind of music do you like?"

Sephiroth blinked twice. Slowly his lips parted, but he didn't say anything.

Silence.

A thousand years went by.

Then, a guffaw from behind Sephiroth on the stage. Zack was busting a gut loud enough to echo off the moon. From behind Cloud, unable to take it anymore himself, Cameron joined in. The two men were choking and coughing on their laughter.

The sound moved through the crowd of boys like a zombie infection. The faculty on the stage joined in.

The entire room seemed to be moving with laughter, the sound tugging even at the corners of Cloud's humiliated mouth. He looked at Sephiroth and a tender smile broke out on his pink face. It was either that or burst into flames.

He watched Sephiroth's mouth curved up gently.

The usher was clearly not amused at all and seized the microphone from Cloud, who was all too willing to give it up. Then he was shooed off screen to take the walk of shame back to his seat, where Cameron was almost in need of oxygen.

The rest of the answer and question forum went off like fucking gangbusters. After Cloud had broken the ice by sacrificing any dignity he might have had, most of the boys lined up. They asked things like, "Do you have advice for materia selection?" and "What ways can I improve my stamina?" and "Do you teach any weekend seminars?"

All perfectly appropriate questions.

"Trial and error is very important," "Focus on keeping your heart rate at the correct level when training. See the academy doctor, he'll tell you what it should be," "I try to do at least one a year. Keep checking the schedules."

All perfectly appropriate answers.

‘Well,’ Cloud thought, ‘That's that.’

That is fucking that.

"Do you smoke, Cam?" He whispered.

"You need?"

Cloud nodded. Cameron fished a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of his pocket. Cloud took everything and left without another word. He couldn't watch that beautiful face he'd never kiss, or listen to that bedroom voice he'd never hear calling his name for another minute. Nobody tried to stop him.

The walk back to the room was a long, slow one.

He lit a cigarette, shielding the flame from the breeze. He had stolen his mother's cigarettes before. He hated them. But these cigarettes weren't normal. They were sweet, and made his lips tingle and chest ache. Cloves? Kinda nice.

Oh, Christ. CHRIST! What kind of music do you listen to? Was that seriously the best he could come up with? He was standing in front of the beautiful General of the fucking Shin-Ra army, not bored in his underwear, chatting with some stranger on AIM for the first time.

It was over. There was no breathless run down the center aisle to meet each other with a longing kiss. No spark of soul's recognition in Sephiroth's eyes. There was nothing.

Without entirely meaning to, he tried to conjure up his Sephiroth … The one that was always too willing to submit to his fantasies, to talk to him, to tell him everything was going to be alright. To kiss him.
But his head was vacant. That Sephiroth meant nothing. He had seen the real one, and missed his chance. Cloud's heart sank.

He licked his tingling lips and let the tears drip down his face.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Cameron found him about an hour later sitting in the open window, the last cigarette hanging between his lips. Psycho was sitting on the other side of the windowsill sleeping.

"Hiya."

Cloud didn't turn, but slowly wiggled his long fingers in a greeting.
"Everyone was askin' where you's went."

"Who the fuck is everyone?" Cloud exhaled darkly.

"Buncha guys. Uh, Mr. Fair too."

"Fuck 'em," Ashes were flicked off the end of the clove.

"Yo Cloud um … We don't know each other so good yet but … You need to talk?"

Cloud shrugged. Cam gently smacked Psycho's butt, and he sleepily hopped down from the windowsill. He took the kitten's place.

"Sup?" He asked.

"Why did you come here?"

Cam thought about it, taking the clove from Cloud's fingers, "Hm. Well, it's complicated. My dad. I don't ever wanna disrespect him, he believes in a lot of good, right things, ya know? But that don't always provide so good. I got five little sisters-"

"Five?" Cloud asked, eyes wide.

"Yea! They's fuckin' crazy little girls. But my mom always had to work, ya know? Right up til she had em, then right back to work after. I never minded helpin' takin' care of em. My dad did dis and dat, doin' what he could," Cam sucked on the clove, "Between doin' what he believed in. The same day I turned sixteen my mom told me she was havin' another kid. Another fuckin' girl. She was sayin' she was gonna get another night job. I was so mad at my fuckin' dad. So I signed up." Cam blew the embers on the cigarette and held it out to Psycho, who licked the burning end, delighting in the cherry taste.

"What does your dad do?"

"Tear down Shin-Ra. He's a fuckin' rebel," Cam said slowly. He tossed the butt out of the window.

Cloud let the words sink in, and realized how hard a thing like that would be to admit. "That's … Awful, Cam."

"Dat's life, Cloud. Who cares? What da hell else am I gonna do with my time? Fuck school. I'll go here and fuckin' send my pay home. Shin-Ra's money." He said with a chuckle.

Cloud swallowed. For joining the academy the boys got five thousand a year, junior military pay. They weren't adults, so the check was sent to the parents, who were expected to send it out to the boys. But then again money going through a filter always seemed to come out a little fuzzy. Of course the parents used some. Cloud's mother was doing alright … But the thought crossed his mind also that it would be nice for her to not have to work so many weekends. But Cam's family was going to be depending on it.

"How about you's?" He asked, "How's your Dad? Why didja come here?"

"Dad left us. My family is my mom, I never knew him. And I came here because it's my dream to be a SOLDIER," Cloud's laugh was loud and bitter. "OH, that and I wanted to make General Sephiroth fall in love with me." The words spilled uncontrollably out of his mouth like a premature ejaculation.

There was a thick silence. Cloud's breath hitched several times. Cameron threw a solid arm around him and he began to sob loudly. "It was killing me … I wanted to start new, ya know? Just be myself! And the first day … I just …" Cloud rambled, eventually trailing off.

They sat for a minute, the only sounds were sniffles. Cloud suddenly sat up and wiped his face, "Cam I'm so fucking sorry. I really didn't want to-"

"Cloud, things gettin' a little too heavy for me."

He slickly reached behind him into a neon orange duffle bag and withdrew a black flask with a skull on it.
With a grin, he spun open the top, "You's a hella cool guy. Don't let a little …" He searched for the right word, "FUCKIN' MISHAP rain on your parade! You's were yourself up dere! You like punk rock? You's wanted to know if the fuckin' General did too! Who cares?"

Suddenly Cam's voice became so completely proper that it startled Psycho, "Excuse me Mr. General Sephiroth Sir, would you please give me five to seven tips on how I can better become the perfect SOLDIER? GIMME A GODDAM BREAK! You think that sonuvabitch hasn't heard dat one a million goddamn times? You had da best fuckin' question of all! Nobody's was laughin' at you Cloud! They was laughin' because you was fuckin' funny!"

Cam handed over the flask, "And for your infamation, everyone was askin' where you's went because there is a fuckin' party at Mr. Fair's, and we are fuckin' invited thanks to you's, and right now we are fuckin' missing it. Every party needs at least one homo, AMIRITE!"

"Cam … Are you okay with …" Cloud's face was filled with doubt.

"Long as I don't wake up wit you spoonin' me, it's fuckin' cool. Now you listen to Cameron. I'ma fuckin' help you wit your guy troubles. You fuckin' help me wit my girl troubles, cause I got a lot of 'em! AND HEY," His face was completely serious, "You better let me know if some assholes try and fuck wit you. Serious. I'll bust open some jaws and tell everyone you's my bitch, like in prison."

Cloud erupted in laughter.

"You think I care if dis school thinks I'm a homo? Fuck it! If shit starts up I'll take some names for messin' wit my Nordic bitch! That'll be THAT! Now tell me, are ya in the mood to go out? Bottoms up!"

Without hesitation, Cloud threw back his head, taking a big mouthful of whatever was in the flask. He swallowed and shuddered, "Christ!"

Cam did the same and grimaced, kicking his legs a little against the windowsill.

"Two morose sonsabitches no more!" He gasped.

They each took another swig. Then one more for good measure. Cloud changed out of the vest and, in his slightly fuzzy state, just put on the first shirt he felt. Cam did much the same, ending up in a retro looking red shirt that had some obscure place of business logo on it, and camouflage shorts. Cloud would have told him he was mismatched, but after five mouthfuls of straight Vodka, it looked really cool.

"Where's the party?" Cloud asked loudly as he locked the door.

"Haha! Hell um, where the SOLDIERS stay at? Ya know dat fuckin' building?"

As they made their way across the campus, and it was obvious where the party was at. They simply followed the sound of the bass.

"Here's the fuckin' kids!" A red headed SOLDIER shouted as the door was thrown open before they even knocked. He took Cloud and Cameron by the collars of their shirts and pulled them roughly inside.

In the common room, a big group of SOLDIERS were sitting all over the floor and couches, playing a racing video game. In the kitchen, another big group was playing cards around a chip bag covered table. He recognized a few teachers sitting up on the kitchen counter, talking and drinking.

Cloud realized with a slight wave of shyness, that he and Cam were the only students there. He half heartedly wondered if Sephiroth was lurking in one of the rooms.

"Cloud! Good to see you again, buddy!" Zack ran over and pulled him into a quick hug. He patted Cam on the back, "Where did you go?"

"To hide in shame!" Cloud shouted over the music. It was extremely vulgar hip hop.

"Well, I have something for you, don't let me forget okay!" Zack was just a little tipsy.

He led the boys down the hallway to a large smoky room with a pool table. They sat on two barstools up against the wall and watched the men drink and play, sneaking sips from open beer cans when the owners weren't looking.
SOLDIERS were perverts. They delighted in the shocked laughter from Cloud and Cam while regaling them with dirty experiences under the plate. When they mentioned the HoneyBee Inn, Cloud asked if they had seen the Lorna Rust memorial, and if it was amazing. The SOLDIERS scratched their heads. Who was Lorna Rust?

The conversation turned to the seminar, "Duuuuude what was the most random thing I've ever seeeen!" Said the red head who opened the door, his name turned out to be Brian.

None of the SOLDIERS could believe Cloud had the nerve to ask such left field question. He let himself laugh about it. What was done was done. He was hoping Sephiroth wouldn't hear himself being talked about from some other room and enter. Cloud had sobered up a little too much to deal with that.

He stole a sip of Zack's drink.

"IIII KNOOOOW! Sephiroth, speechless!" Zack laughed, stretching and groaning, "Oh shit, you kids need to be heading back huh? You got ten minutes until lights out!"

They snapped their heads to the clock. So soon? Zack shook their stools and they got down, grumbling.
He saw them out to the door. Cloud remembered something, "Zack, what did you have for me?"

Zack's face went blank. Drunk. Then he lit up, "Oh!"

He took something from the top of a shelf next to the door and shoved it into Cloud's chest, "You got eight minutes! Run, bitches, run!" The door slammed in their faces.

"RUN, BITCHES, RUN!" They could hear shouted with laughter from almost everyone inside the building. Must have been a SOLDIER inside joke.

Before he could look at whatever the thing he received was, Cam broke out into a mad dash towards home. Cloud clutched the object and belted after him. They ran like their lives depended on it, across the deserted campus and into the Rufus Building, up the stairs, fumbling with the lock, and into their rooms.

Panting, the boys dropped into their beds. Not a second later, the lights in the hallway shut off. Cam turned on the floor lamp, "Good fuckin' timin'!" He breathed.

Cloud picked himself up and went into the bathroom. Pulling down his jeans and sitting on the toilet, he finally looked at what Zack had for him.

It was a plain black CD case. Cloud smiled. They talked about music a lot that day outside Nibelheim, and they made vague promises to burn each other CD's. Cloud felt a little bad for not following through. But then he hadn't actually thought Zack would do it, figuring it was something people said they'd do but not really.

If the music at the party was any indication, this was going to be an interesting listen. Cloud opened the case and sighed. Zack's handwriting was goddamn chicken scratch.

A to your Q – Gen. S.

He reread it.

A to your Q – Gen. S.

Cloud looked at it for a very long time.

"Cam, do you have a laptop?"

Cameron was already in bed, scratching Psycho's butt, "Fuckin' smoked up my cloves, fuckin' drank all my booze, fuckin' hoggin' my computer, what the hell?" He muttered good naturedly while leaning over the edge of his bed and digging up a bright purple laptop bag from underneath. He then turned off the lamp and rolled over.

Cloud pulled it out and set it in his lap.

He pressed the CD into the laptop's tray. He then pulled his earphones out of his Mp3 player and plugged them in.
For a few pounding heartbeats, the laptop read the CD. Listen, rip, or open to view files?

Listen.

Cam's media player popped up. There was only one song. Oh My God – Kaiser Chiefs, was all the media player had to say about it.

He didn't know this band. Was it techno? 80's? Was it hair burning metal? God forbid, easy listening?

Cloud clicked play and listened intensely.

Rumbly feedback.

Suddenly a quick beat.

Cloud blushed as it briefly became a little bit … Sexy. Like, grinding in smoky bar sexy.
Then an even toned, almost quiet singer … Then he stretched his calm voice into a controlled scream.

Cloud's eyes rolled closed. A realization. This was indie music. Indie music was what punks listened to when they wanted to fuck. This song was made for kissing, for taking off clothes.

‘I'll buy Seph the vinyl for his birthday,’ Cloud planned.

Cloud listened to the entire song once before fumbling with his Mp3 player cords, plugging it into the laptop and getting that damn song into it.

He quietly slid Cam's laptop back under his bed, he and Psycho now snoring.

Into the bathroom he crept.

He closed his eyes, and put on the song.

Sephiroth pushed him to the floor, tearing at his jeans and hurling them furiously. He settled between naked legs, his beautiful face flushed, eyes blazing, hair dripping all over Cloud's body. For a moment they looked at each other exactly how they had earlier on the monitors, only now close and breathing each other in.
Cloud fingers slowly curled up into silver hair. And yanked.

Green eyes went wide.

Sephiroth's fingers dug into his bare thighs, he bit his lips, he sucked his tongue, he pulled blonde hair, he crushed him into the bathroom floor with his weight.

Cloud covered his mouth to stifle a gasp as he came suddenly, spilling all over his fist and stomach.
He stayed like that on the bathroom floor, listening to the song Sephiroth had sent to him over and over.
And after a while, he picked himself up, cleaned off, and collapsed into bed. Before he fell asleep, he had the strange realization that this had been only one day.

Getting up, putting bags in the car, driving to Midgar, getting his info, meeting Cam, seeing Sephiroth, getting drunk, watching Zack and his friends play pool, running back to the room, hearing Sephiroth's song, getting hard more times than he could count, getting his heart broken, crying more times than he'd cared to, jerking off. It had all been only one day.

This could have easily been the longest day ever.

After all the grief, maybe it had even ended well. Maybe it wasn't over yet.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Cloud jolted upright in bed.

A screaming fire alarm.

His first thoughts were Psycho, the stupid kitten caught the fucking room on fire. He was fumbling to get out of a tangle of blankets when Cameron came strolling out of the bathroom, already dressed. He turned off the alarm clock.

Five AM.

"Top o' the mornin' to ya, fucker!"


A/N


Chapter images can be found here! --> http://owmyhearteries.deviantart.com/gallery/?offset=120#/d1co9q7

1- I hope you enjoy the chapter images!

2- I'll say it again, the songs in this chapter are … REAL!

3- Cloud's a crybaby. Maybe this isn't so OOC afterall … BURN!

Cloud: :0

Author: XD jk bb ilu

4- Thanks so much for the reviews! They mean a lot.