Perfection

Author's Notes: If you want to deeply get into this chapter, I recommend reading it to 30 Seconds to Mars' Beautiful Lie. I was writing in my bedroom and it came up randomly from my playlist. It really reflects my view on what Cecil possibly went through when he learned he was half-Lunarian, but the repercussions of such a lineage aren't fully explained.


Perfection
Chapter 4 – Corruption


Cecil grabbed the white towel and dried himself off. Out of habit, he tied it after his waist. He didn't enjoy being treated like a child. Being overpowered during sex was one thing; he had learned from his experience with Kain. But all the time? It would drive him to insanity.

Where did Theodore run off to anyways?

Blue eyes scanned the bathroom. He was now alone. Taking a chance to breathe and recover from the shock of seeing someone close to him being brutally murdered, the man sighed and rested his back on the wall, the cold metal sending shivers down his spine. Even his army days hadn't made it easier. He had lost men and women, but no one he had ever been close to, and found himself fighting the urge to fall to his knees and cry like a baby.

Once calm enough, Cecil stepped out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom where his brother was waiting for him. Even as he sat on the bed without his armor, the other man looked like a giant. Whereas Cecil was constantly mistaken for a woman with his light, hairless frame and feminine visage, Theodore was built like the Fabulian monks – muscles, muscles and more muscles. Judging by looks only, no one could have ever told they were related.

The fact he even had a brother was still hard to swallow. And as to why they were completely different eluded him; most siblings at least had one point in common...

“The Lunarians regarded it as genetics. But it goes beyond that. You and I were raised in different environments. You were brought up by humans and learned their ways. You don't seem to possess telepathic abilities, and you were only trained to use magic very recently.”

This sudden declaration at least explained why Theodore could read his mind. However, it did not sound surreal to his ears.

“But you and I are considerably young by Lunarian standards, even though we are part human-”

“I am human. None of this makes sense to me, Theodore.” Cecil scoffed, crossing his arms over his naked chest. “I've only known this for a day at most and you expect me to act like it's natural?”

The brown-haired man ignored his comment and resumed his explanation. “Even though we are part human, we still have Lunarian blood running in our veins. Humans will die long before us. The Lunarian lifespan is incredible, Cecil. You're only twenty years old, but you have maybe four, five hundred years ahead of you... and I'm only estimating. Pure Lunarians live much longer. You and I are unique – we're hybrids. We don't know for sure.”

Four to five hundred years and it was only a rough estimation?

Hitting a massive brick wall at full speed with his airship couldn't have been more of a shock.

For a moment, Cecil spaced out. Five hundred years was a fucking long time. Multiple generations. People being born, growing up, having children, dying, and the circle would repeat itself. Often.

Dying. The word echoed in his head. He'd see more people die, people he'd get attached to, people he'd love. Kain was one of them – but until now, he had been sure Kain was the only one. And he'd see him die.

“You love him, but you'll lose him in the end. In some way, it'd have been better if you had been raised by Lunarians... having ties with a multitude of people who you're going to say good-bye to will be hard.” Theodore's voice seemed so distant, faded.

Rydia's death was only the start.

“I simply want what's best for you, brother. I want you to realize what your lineage implies.”

If he hadn't he been raised by humans, what would his fate had been? Would he have met Kain, Rosa, Yang, Cid? Would he ever had become a knight? Would he have been the same when he looked at himself in the mirror?

“We can't know for sure what you would have become, Cecil. Things would have been much different for you, I have no doubt. For the best or the worse, we'll never know. Alternate realities and timelines aren't possible for us to travel to, just yet.”

Out of all the things he had managed to understand, losing the people he loved was the hardest. This time there was no fighting back; the tears simply rolled on his cheeks as he sobbed silently, landing on his bare chest.

A strong arm wrapped around his shoulders, dragging him against his brother's naked body. “I know you already had a lot on your mind, but you need to know what's coming to you. That's why I brought you here. In time you'll understand.”

Cecil pushed the man away, suddenly exhausted. Breathing heavily, his back hit the cold wall. “I... I almost wish I never knew that. I'd taken longer to realize it all. I'd have come to think of it as normal. I'm not ready to lose more people right now...”

The older man didn't give up that easily, and his large hands grabbed a hold of the paladin's shoulders before crouching in front of him, slightly below eye level. “It won't happen right now, Cecil. You two are still young by human standards as well. Treasure your moments with him.”

The youth nodded. Theodore had a point; Kain wasn't going to die tomorrow... so until then, he could be happy, no? “I guess I ought to...”

“And not just with him.” As if to prove his point even further, Theodore leaned in and put his lips to his brother's.

Cecil fidgeted under the embrace, suddenly afraid. His blue eyes darted across the room as his mouth was invaded; if kissing another man wasn't seen as abnormal, kissing your brother – gender aside – was frowned upon.

And what if it was normal for Lunarians?

The thought alone was enough for him and he finally gave in, letting the brown-haired man take control.

Theodore quickly untied the towel around his younger brother's waist and ran his large hands on the pale skin, managing not to break the kiss as they moved towards the bed. The mage was the first one to move away, climbing on the bed. He reached for Cecil and pulled him between his legs, the silver-haired paladin's back resting on his chest.

A quiet moan came out of Cecil's mouth as light kisses were spread across his shoulders and the base of his neck, making him shiver with pleasure. He gasped when Theodore's right hand went passed his waist and took hold of his shaft, while his left hand simply remained on his side.

The right hand slowly went up and down, as if the older man mapped every inch of the sensitive flesh. For Cecil, it was a much pleasurable experience than the first one. At least this time, a part of him wanted to be intimate again and craved for more, the other part being in utter shock.

(Considering the situation, I think this last sentence would have more impact if you cut right to the chase and delete that last part I highlighted.)

Then again... To hell if it was normal or not. Upon realization of his situation, his fighter reflexes took over.

Cecil began squirming, trying to free himself from his brother's grasp. The hand that was previously gently squeezing his left side was now on his chest, preventing him from moving any further.

But what was worse was how his body reacted – it begged him to stay close to Theodore's, to stay in the warm, powerful embrace, to enjoy it. His brain, on the other hand, was panicking, constantly reminding him how it was unnatural, sick, twisted.

The grip around his chest relaxed, and the paladin saw it as the perfect moment to run away. He took a deep breath and pushed the large hands away, sending his own body on the ground. If he had a weapon, Theodore would have been so dead – or seriously injured. He dashed for the closest door, yet didn't manage to open it.

Theodore's hand was on his right arm, pulling close again. Cecil had the impression the older man was trying to crush his bones with his single hand and he let out a frustrated, desperate shout. Using his left hand, he tried to hit his brother, who saw it coming and backhanded him. Hard.

It took Cecil several seconds before recovering from the blow, but it was too late. He was sure Theodore was going to rip his arm off his torso, and his knees hit the cold ground once again. The taller man swung him roughly on the bed and climbed back on it, forcing the silver-haired youth on his back. His older brother wasn't going to give up... and neither was he.

When the brown-haired man had settled himself beside him, still sitting, and drew his hand close to his member, Cecil started kicking and squirming even more. He was thankful he was on a bed, this time, and it made it much easier without hurting himself on the metal floor. This time he wasn't slapped, or even hit – Theodore simply reached for his cock again.

And the fight between his brain and body was reignited. Every stroke seemed to lull the pain in his right arm, yet felt so wrong to him. How could he enjoy such an intimate act with his psycho of a brother?

Because deep down inside, that's what bothered Cecil the most. The fact Theodore went from zero to murder in seconds; from the caring big brother to the cold-blooded killer. There was no middle, no balance, and it drove him insane.

Cecil kicked again, until the remaining hand pinned his legs down. He was tired of dealing with Theodore, fighting against him, but he felt as if he had no choice to keep his remaining sanity intact.

But his body still wanted more. He glanced a moment at his erection and moaned, looking away almost instantly. With this he had completely forgotten about the pain in his arm, and weirdly enough, it was almost gone – only a very slight discomfort remained. The hand finally left his leg and gently climbed up on his waist, then chest.

Why was the touch so enjoyable? Why wasn't he thrashing anymore? Why was the pain gone? Cecil moaned again as a wave of pleasure shook his body, feeling spurts of warm liquid splattering on his stomach. He also felt a warm, wet thing running across the mess; the older man was cleaning him off with his tongue.

Blue eyes half opened, the paladin watched as Theodore got up from the bed and picked up his own clothes, quickly getting dressed. “I'm sorry, I have to take care of something. However, you won't be alone, Kain will be joining you.”

Kain; the only man who could help him forget about all of this.

Cecil remained on his back, only moving his head from time to time. Once again, his body was exhausted, but his mind raced. If Theodore seemed to move towards him, he wanted to be ready to push him away... or let him have his way, whatever his body felt like doing.

Physical fights had seemed like a bereze for him – mental fights with himself, however, were excruciatingly painful.

As expected, the brown-haired man came back to him, but only drew the sheets to cover his body. At the same time, another figure appeared in the doorway. Cecil's heart skipped a beat, before he realized it was only Kain.

The blond man walked in the room, stopping by the bed. It took Kain lot of willpower not to pounce on Cecil and take him there; but the man looked so tired, and he already had a go with him earlier. Instead, he shed what was remaining of his armor – apparently Cecil wasn't the only one who had taken a bath – and slid between the sheets, his slender frame pressing against the smaller man's.

Feeling safer, Cecil nestled himself in his best friend's arms, enjoying Kain's heartbeat pounding in his ears. He was surprised that the other man didn't attempt anything and kept remotely idle, running his hand in his drying hair.

But he wanted more. He wanted his lover's warm hands on his skin, his lips over his own. He wanted to forget about everything; about his location, his brother and his awkward ways, his lineage. He needed Kain. After all, he was told to enjoy time spent with him.

However, the thoughts came running back to him. “Why are you still here?” Cecil demanded. “I'm not even who or what I thought I was, I'm not even human... and yet you're here with me.”

Kain took a deep breath, watching how the youth's head rose and lowered, mesmerized by his beauty. “Because it doesn't matter to me. Human, Lunarian, hybrid.... you're still Cecil Harvey to me. The man I grew up with. The man I love. If I'd die today, I'd die a happy man.”

He barely finished his sentence when he felt Cecil shake. The dragoon mentally cursed himself for bringing this up – Golbez had even warned him about his possible reactions to learning he wasn't even human. Apparently, his new lord had been right.

“Cecil...” Kain held him tight, his left hand moving to the silver-haired paladin's back, gently caressing him. “I'm sorry... you know I'm not going to die tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the day after for that matter.”

“I know. I'm just so frustrated...” Cecil muttered, his voice trembling with anger. He refused to give up, to spend the rest of his life wallowing in self-pity. He would come out the winner in this fight. “I have to stop thinking about it, then I'll be fine. Maybe I just need something to lose myself into.”

Suddenly, the youth rose his head. If “the more things change, the more they stay the same” saying was true, could the opposite be true as well? The more things stay the same, the more they change? It made sense to him, in some awkward way.

So to move forward, he'd have to stay there and make the best out of his situation. Theodore had made it clear, and if it would work for his relationship with Kain, he had the same feeling about his life. His new life.

Satisfied with his reasoning, he put his head back on his lover's chest and closed his eyes, letting Kain's heartbeat lull him to sleep.

~ To be continued... ~