My Road

Disclaimer:

I do not own Final Fantasy 7, It’s original characters, places, etc. Nor do I make any money from this fanfiction. The only things that are mine are my own original added characters. And the situations or new places added to flesh out my own story.

Warnings:

some abuse in the beginning... and sad reminiscing... other than that nothing too harsh.


My Road

~Chapter 4~


There was little that Reno felt for a few days. He knew that one of the neighbor people had slung him over their shoulder and carried him back to his home, where his father had ordered that he be tossed on his pallet.


He was dimly aware of his father yelling at him a few times. And aware of the pain in his ribs where he'd been kicked by him when he wouldn’t rouse. Finally on his third day... when he should have gone to work his father shook him violently till Reno finally looked at him with some recognition.


"Ya' ass... you don' work taday ya still get no food. I'm off, don' know when I'll be back... if ya' wanna eat an' wanna roof ta come back ta, ya better get yer' ass ta' work..." his father kicked him in the stomach again. "Ya' know yer' place... this place better be here when I come back an there better be food too. Now tha' bitch can’t do it, s'yer job now..." And with a laugh, he strode out the front door.


Reno just laid there and curled into a tighter ball trying just to block out all senses and forget everything.


His mind swam. The dim, falsely lit slums faded away from his memory and shifted to something else, something warm. He didn’t know what, but in his mind he closed his eyes and there was a breeze on his face and he could feel a warm glow golden in hue through his eyelids. Reno could hear shifting rustling sounds. And if he thought really hard he could hear a song playing... it was his mother but he couldn’t open his eyes... she'd be disappointed. She was describing to him what it felt like; they were sitting on a grassy overlook from the distance away from Midgar. In fact he didn’t exactly know where they were. Her soft voice continued stronger now... more song in his head. She told of the shimmering hues of a river as it danced in the sunlight and what looked like diamonds sparkled along its surface, a peaceful revelry. She described the sound of tree's leaves swaying in the breeze.... the rustling, and the warm glow, golden in color ... the sun...........


....."Thats’a boy now.... Wake yer'self up lad..." A woman’s voice pressed through the dim imaginings of his heartbroken mind. "Come on with ye'... ya need some nourishment."


Reno opened his eyes. Someone he'd seen before in their neighborhood. She worked in a different sector. Her husband had been poisoned when he fell into one of the run off's from the reactors. He'd died a painful death. But she was just one of the many widows in the area. He didn’t know her name.


"Here" She rested a cup against his lips. "S'not much... it'l do though, ya" She also had the same slum accent; any who lived this far down usually picked it up a bit. His father didn’t have so strong of one... but was more out of laziness. He'd heard him talk to other men before without it. And his mom's was strong but she also had a slight touch of something else in her accent... He didn’t know where she was from. He'd picked up some of her speech tones.


"Th..thanks" Reno said shakily. It was some watery gruel. His body wanted to baulk at the intrusion of food after 3 days.... But he knew he needed it. Mother wouldn’t have been happy with him if he gave up.


"I saw yer pap' He left a while ago... an' I knew you hadn't left since yer ma was taken....so here... " She handed him a small package the size of his hand wrapped in a cloth. "I know you'l hav'ta work tomara' so... you rest now ya lad... And don' let this road in life scare ya' its jus' the way ere' ya' know?" She finished with a rub to his head. And with that she went back out the door to home probably, or maybe work?


Reno laid there thinking for a while. What time of day was it anyway? His mother used to talk about when she was young and loving the time of the afternoon when you'd hear children outside shouting and playing. But here... now... there were a few sickly and weak children that played, Reno himself also playing sometimes. But it was not a regular occurrence. But if he listened closely enough he'd be able to tell if people were working about now as there was always workers somewhere during the day. And the workings and roaring engines above would sometimes sound louder while they ran hard in the day. Or would he hear slow dragging footsteps of the men and women making their unspeaking way back to their homes to replenish and sleep?


Reno laid there for what felt like hours before he heard nothing but humming, and realized it was probably nighttime. He awkwardly rolled of his pallet and looked at his hands. They were coated in grime, blood from touching his mother, and probably tears and blood from himself. He managed to stand up on shaky feet, and make his way to the front door. Barely tipped his head forward and spit out some blood that was in his mouth. He hadn’t noticed it bleeding when he'd drank down what the woman had given him.


He felt of his jaw and it was swollen and painful, probably why the blood was in his mouth. He mentally shrugged, it wouldn’t matter any. He knew he had to get cleaned up. His mother...his mam' never would be happy with him being in the house and in his bed this filthy. He weakly made his way along the side of their home towards the back. Trying to will away the pain. It really wasn’t that bad... He'd been hit and kicked before, it wasn’t new. It was normal. So why did it hurt so bad?


When he made it to the water in the barrel he almost didn’t get the cup to take the water out. But he needed to be smart about this... He'd be caring for these things by himself now. Or maybe his father would help some? He didn’t know. But took the cup dipping it into the water’s surface and watched the ripples waver over the surface. Bringing his thoughts back to his daydream...or dream rather. It was happy thoughts... of his mother’s descriptions and story's. And the song’s too.


Sometimes if they were done work for the day and didn’t have a dinner to go home and eat they'd just cover over the hunger with happy times instead.


Once and a while they'd make their way towards the other side of the slums, where there was shops and businesses. Not many but a few. Their favorite thing was to walk in front of them and listen to the radios and the songs playing, that the shopkeepers had on, or the bar as they passed... his mother and he both had a dream of having a radio in their home one day. They both had a love of music.


Or the time his mother and he laid down on the edge of one of the abandoned and quiet streets and watched the smoke billow above them... and his mother would describe clouds. And if Reno tried really hard, he could pretend the smog and smoke was really just storm clouds. And his mother and he would pretend and imagine stories from the shapes of the shifting billows.


Reno shook his head...but instantly regretted it. His head swam. Maybe he was thirsty too. Would that help his head? His mother always knew what to do after his father had left him like this. What would she have done?


He took a drink from the cup before he splashed it over his face and wiped it around getting all the dirt on his face and hands loose. Then, he took his suspenders down and removed his shirt. Deciding he'd use that to wipe his face off and his hands he then figured he'd better wash his shirt too. He used the cup to put a little water in the shallow trough that was beside the barrel and washed his shirt rinsing his hands in that water too. Then, rung the shirt out and draped it over the side of the barrel. Then tipped the trough letting the water trickle on his feet using each foot to rub and clean at the other. That’d work for now.


He took his shirt and slowly made his way back into the home. Draping the shirt on the side of the make-shift table... willing it to dry quicker. He went back to his pallet and opened the cloth package to see what the lady had given him. Hm, it was a piece of hard dry cheese, and a chunk of bread. That'd be nice to eat, but probably better left till the morning so he'd have strength to work. He'd have to get back. He needed gil to replace the water when it was time, and get the few basic necessities for living. The rations were handed out once a day. But they weren’t enough. He’d need to start doing better. And he would soon need new clothes.


It was all too much; a child his age shouldn’t have these responsibilities. But they'd all still be there in the morning. So Reno allowed his exhaustion to take back over and to drift off into a fitful sleep.


~few weeks later~


"Hey, Yo, Bonno! See ya tomorrow yeh'?" Reno waved to the older boy who had become a friend more than an enemy. The boy really just did stupid things because he had a lot of anger. He'd had to sit by and watch his father bludgeoned to death for stealing some bread for his family. Bonno's mother was pregnant at the time, a hard thing at any time down here in the slums. But food was so short now. This had happened before Reno's mother had passed. But Bonno told of how his baby brother, or would have been baby brother died at only two weeks old. So in a way they made fast friends with having the hurt in common. Bonno didn’t speak more than necessary to tell Reno what had happened. Probably in order to earn some trust. And Reno didn’t want to speak at all really.


He'd always been quiet most of the time and acted laid back. But his mother saw the real him underneath. She’d been right in calling him a force. Underneath the complacent veneer of his eyes, they were full of life, just waiting to burst out. And his eyes were filled with a curiosity so deep, that it hungered to be filled to the brim with knowledge. Reno was quiet aside from his young replies to things or asking his mother things and giving compliments in the past. Right now though, he would simply nod. It kept the side of him that wanted to be free, at bay. He wished he could run, run so hard and just dive... dive into one of the cavernous shoots that took debris away into the planet. And just free fall and not stop. He didn’t know why. He just knew that he was itching to run.


He was more polite and friendly with the older boy Bonno though. He could learn a lot from him. He'd comment quietly with the grown men that they worked with about things going on in the slums elsewhere. Or they'd talk about the trafficking, or Shinra and SOLDIER and the Turks. Only it would be more out of disgust or distain. He guessed that, this was also something that changed with responsibility. He was learning fast that the boyish fantasy's that he held onto... just would never be. And the dreamy eyed look of respect when the adults talked about the goings on's of Shinra and all that encompassed it and the War's was not acceptable. And he was learning... Why...


But Bonno also had said something quiet to him one day that had piqued his interest. He'd said that his mother was in such a place inside herself... she didn’t even know he was there anymore. And he was contemplating trying to go upwards and work for Shinra. Reno was shocked when the boy confided this to him. But Bonno said that it had to be kept quiet or he'd be stopped from doing it. Reno wondered... would the boy succeed. Was there a chance that his most distant dreams would maybe one day be attainable?


"Yeh' ya know it Red boy..." The boy smugly replied as they headed their separate directions and touched his forefinger to his forehead like he was holding a gun before a showdown and then waved it down like a semi salute to Reno.


Reno shrugged and gave a tentative smile and returned the action. It was fun, and made him feel older.


The nights after work, he wasn’t in as much pain anymore. When he'd started working for the man that collected scrap, he thought he'd die for the first couple of weeks, every day when he came home. But each day that he succeeded, he could feel himself getting stronger. And some neighbors had already commented on him growing taller. The combination of work making him leaner and stronger and the natural grown to make him stretch up was already showing in how his pants no longer would pull up far enough anymore. He’d have to take a couple of Gil from his growing stash for water and food next week. It would be the monthly time the water cart went through.


And, he thought for a minute. His hair was getting really scraggly. His mother would have cut it by now... guess he'd have to find a way to get that done. With working at this new job it'd be a hazard to have it long. The only two men that had long hair on this job kept theirs in rolled up ponytails. He couldn’t do that. So He'd just do what his mother always had done. Have it sheared right off again.


He'd gotten rations every day. But today they'd been worked harder and longer than normal, and rations were closed, so he went right into his home and decided to sleep. He'd get up earlier tomorrow... maybe work a little extra and make up for needing a haircut's worth of Gil on top of everything.


~following week~


Reno was getting used to being alone now. He would hum when he was at home and pretend it was his mother humming while she worked or held him at night. He'd fix himself his food when possible and save a little for the following morning wherever possible. He'd wash every day and keep his cloths as clean as possible. The job he had now wasn’t as dirty of work though it was harder. And even his father’s hand me down shirt was wearing thin and had holes. He decided after the water run and errands today he'd sit down and mend the shirt. He'd helped his mother do that before so he knew enough to do it on his own.


He didn’t work today. The only day of the week the scrap man didn’t run. So it worked out good. Any time now he's hear the clatter of the water cart. So he decided he'd go out back and wash up real well with what was left of last month’s water and make sure and be ready for the man. He carried his small cloth wrapped Gil coins out back with him. He was twirling the bag around with his left hand like always. He even wrote what little he knew in the dirt with a stick with that hand. He was usually made fun of for that... so he just wouldn’t do it. But he never thought much of that.


As Reno washed up this time it was like he was washing the cares right off. He figured that he'd successfully made it a month almost since his mother had been gone. And his father hadn't returned. Maybe things would be ok. He'd keep this up. And so what if he didn’t get any more schooling from his mother. His listening and watching skills had improved so much he could listen to anyone talking while he was working and watch their movements. And even if the scrap guy was reading something off of a paper. He'd watch the way his eyes would linger over larger words and what naught. He was learning older method's of speaking and more traits that would be incredibly life saving for him when he was older, little did he know. He was truly shaping his senses to work better for him. He could tell by the smell in the under plate air currents when the scrap guy was coming with his truck even before he heard him. And that would be long before the other guys would notice. Little things like that every day added up. He'd be the first to present his finds to the man and get his day's wage... and more days than not he'd make it for rations.


Yes, maybe Reno could grow some like this... and set off like Bonno was planning. But for today he just needed to think of all the chores that needed to be done this time of the month. He'd helped his mother and been vaguely aware of all that needed to be done before, but never so painfully aware of all that needed Gil... Now he knew a little of what caused his mother, And probably his father, stress.


Reno was finishing up and was mostly dry enough to put his clothes back on. They’d been washed yesterday so he felt squeaky clean for a change. Just as he leaned forward to pull his pants on he looked at the base of the water barrel. There was a small piece of burlap there. It was almost unnoticeable as it blended in with the dirt around it.


Reno lightly dug with his fingers in the dirt till he could grasp the edge of the fabric. He pulled and it gave way quite easily. It obviously hadn’t been there as long as the barrel had been there. Reno's young curiosity pushed him even quicker than he could think of any possibilities.


What he unwrapped shocked even him. There was some Gil...not many but enough to help and there was an old chain. His breath hitched in his throat. He couldn’t cry, not now, not ever again. He'd cried the first night he'd gotten back from his new job... cried so hard he thought that his wails alone would bring back his mother. But all it did, was make his job even harder the next day. No, no more tears. He couldn’t stop the reason for his mothers tears the last time he saw her... no ...More... tears....


He clenched his fist but slowly unclenched it and pulled on the chain. Sure enough his mother’s old beaten up necklace, with a small stone hanging from it. It was some sort of crystal. Always seemed more beautiful than anything in the whole world aside from his mothers smile, that is. The stone was Aqua colored. His mother used to say it was the color of his eyes.


Reno clenched his fist around it again. He couldn’t let this be seen by anyone. He needed to re-hide it... His mother knew... She had to have.


He barely had time to get his breathing under control and replace the little package before he heard the sound of a cart. The sound ate into his brain painfully making him think of the death cart that day, but he couldn’t... He needed to lose the association of that. Everything was moved using carts down here. Aside from the few trucks you'd see... but they were usually from a different plate.


Reno gave the man a wave. And the man didn’t even say anything just pulled a short hose out from the cart and hooked it to the large barrel in his cart and used a hand pump and filled Reno's barrel about 2/3rds full, then held out his hand.


Reno looked...he thought it should be full. Maybe they were short. He'd have to be even more careful. He handed the required Gil to the man out of his little sack. And with that one thing was done. Next he had to get some things. Particularly some wrap for wounds. He'd had to wrap his hands quite a bit at first... which he felt bad about. But he should replace them... to keep the small wound kit full that his mother had kept stalked, and of course, the matter of pants and a haircut.


~later that day... other side of slums~


The older man he had gone to, to cut his hair had charged him next to nothing. He must have liked Reno. He'd been very kind to talk to, and had recommended a place to get clothes from. So Reno slowly made his way. Trying to enjoy the noise of the busier part of the slums from where he lived. The businesses... Some of them seemed familiar from trips there with his mother. Some did not. There were a few kids playing on the streets, and some older people walking. He could hear a radio coming from the shop he was walking towards that supposedly had some affordable second hand clothes. It was almost nice. The song sounded peppy and upbeat. Not one he recognized but still...almost nice.


He was shocked when he went in and could actually find pants that would be fitting on him... actually large. He'd have to roll the legs up extra and make sure to attach his suspenders to it. But this day was going better and better. And it was far more affordable than he'd expected... so he even bought himself a really large baggy tee shirt. He'd still mend the long shirt. And even still wear these pants to bed for a while. It would be nice to have clothes he could fit in comfortably.


Reno's spirits were much higher as he walked back the direction of home. It was a long walk but that, he didn’t mind. He could hum and imagine like as a Brave and strong SOLDIER or a sly and cunning Turk again. As he walked... he could slip into that imaginary world that he used to enjoy before all the fresh pain.


Before he knew it, Reno was on the edge of his neighborhood. He had a pleasant surprise as he turned a corner. The Kit's that he used to like playing with were still there. Or at least a couple of them were there. "Aw... guys. Y' sure have grown larger." He reached out petting the one with the scarred tail. They would be larger than him when they were full grown. They were Cuahl. They normally weren’t found around here but there’d been a small population that somehow managed to stay hidden in the ruins behind Reno's neighborhood. But if these Kit's weren’t careful... they'd end up getting slayed. No one seemed to realize they were harmless creatures unless attacked first.


It was a nice surprise... so Reno stayed for a while and played and rolled, and scratched and petted his way around with them. But realized he'd better get home and patch his shirt and get some rest. He'd have a full day of work to do tomorrow. So he said goodbye nicely to the animals who acted sad that he was leaving. He wished he could spend more time with them.


Maybe next week if his chores allowed he'd come back here again.


Reno began humming his mother’s song as he started down the last stretch to his home. Letting the air currents flow around him he felt like maybe he really was a little stronger. The pain that had been so searing hot since the day his mother died, didn’t feel as painful today. It was more of a dull throb in his chest. It was more tolerable today than it had been yet. He could go on.


The day had been pleasant. He'd made it through with some Gil left over from the month of work. He had a piece of his mother to hold onto when he needed it. And he'd gotten to enjoy a few moments of ... Almost happiness.


He made his way up to the front of the hut that was his home. A small grin on his face for a change, though it didn’t last... It faltered almost instantly... Why was the door open?...


~~~End Chapter 4~~~

A/N:

-I'm beginning to feel I'm dragging out the beginning longer than I should for some people.... But I promise you. It will speed up soon. You will see Reno through his childhood into his young teens through this fic.

-Also.. I have a side fic in mind for telling more about Re'nocia's mysterious background and understanding of what was to happen to her... oh, and "What" DID happen to her...dundun dunnn..

-I hope to have another chapter done tonight! (Hopefully I don’t stay up till 3am typing it again...:P)