Paper Tiger Burning

I respectfully credit all Original Creators, namely Squaresoft, which became SquareEnix,for these characters. In this way, I pay homage to my Fandom's Original Creator, and illustrate my Community's belief that Fan Fiction is "fair use". I do not claim to own these characters. I do not make money or gil from using these protected characters, nor do I wish to make money or gil from them. In other words, I am borrowing these characters to entertain the adult fanfiction community, but I am doing so with the highest degree of respect to the engineers, game designers, music makers, and voice actors.




This was not the Shin-Ra lab.

I walked down the hall; Hojo carrying the sleeping, pretty woman close behind me. Bodies and blood lay everywhere. I looked at each one as we passed, noticing missing heads and body parts. It felt odd being up so high, able to look down on everything so easily.

“Who did all this?” I asked.

“You did,” Hojo answered quietly. I heard his breathing hitch. “Is it bothering you?”

“No.” I stepped over a larger heap of dead men. That was a stupid question. “Why did I kill these men?” He’d been hinting at giving me real people to practice my skills on, but that didn’t fit. I was big now. I probably killed like this for Shin-Ra all the time. “Are they enemies of Shin-Ra?”

“No, boy, we are enemies of Shin-Ra,” Hojo said, surprising me. “We’ve taken the Shin-Ra heirs captive, along with the man who owns this compound, Lucas Havars.” Hojo sped up until he could walk along beside me. I slowed so I could hear what he had to say. “Havars kept this place full of children, using them as lab rats in exactly the same way I used you.”

“But the men?” I asked again. I filled with happiness that Hojo answered my questions, that he didn’t avoid me now. I would take advantage of this. I fleetingly felt sorry for these children he spoke of, but I couldn’t afford to worry about others when I worried about myself so much. Later, I would think about it more fully.

“Guards,” Hojo answered shortly. “Casualties of war, Sephiroth. They would have killed us given the chance. You protected a group of men, got them in here by yourself, and we completed our objective of saving the children.”

I felt proud. “So I’m not a failure,” I announced, triumphant. “You were wrong.”

“I was wrong,” Hojo agreed. He raised his black, glittery eyes to me. “You were never a failure. I said a lot of things that weren’t true, boy.”

He really didn’t sound like Hojo. He looked like Hojo, moved like Hojo, even smelled like Hojo, but the words didn’t match. His eyes didn’t fit anymore, either. He looked sad.

“Why?” I asked. “You don’t allow me to lie.” If he wouldn’t let me lie, why did he permit himself to lie? I was sick of his hypocrisy, yet, it surprised me often.

“It’s complicated.” Hojo lowered his gaze to the woman in his arms. I noticed he held onto the female very securely, which pleased me. I had taken charge of her. If he dropped her I would be angry. “I was cruel to you because you were like someone who hurt me,” he replied.

I frowned as I thought of his answer. “That makes no sense.” I shouldn’t be punished for someone else’s crimes.

“I didn’t make much sense, did I?” Hojo gave a short laugh. “But I’m sorry, Sephiroth.”

Shocked, I stared straight ahead as I walked. He never, ever said he was sorry for anything. To hear it made me feel uneasy.

I was big now, and the Aerith said we were all friends.

Hojo seemed to mean what he said…

I didn’t trust him, not at all. I needed to watch him carefully. He’d set elaborate traps for me before.

We walked quietly for awhile. I saw a large door far away. “This is it?” I asked.

“Yes.” Hojo swallowed hard. “Sephiroth, this is the big place I was telling you about.” He carefully put Aerith down and faced me, taking his glasses off and wiping them on his white coat. “Remember what I said. This place in nothing like what you know but it won’t hurt you just because it’s different.”

“Why are you talking to me like I’m simple?” I asked. “I’ve passed all your tests. I’m reading like an adult; you said so.” A feeling of nervousness grabbed my heart.

“I don’t mean to insult you.” Hojo put his glasses back on with a shaking hand. “Remember, you aren’t really a child even if you don’t remember growing up; I took you outside on your fourteenth birthday and you didn’t react well.”

“What did I do?” I looked at the door, seeing it like an enemy. Against my will I focused on him again. Between these two enemies, Hojo was the mobile one.

“You became very, very violent.” Hojo met my eyes. “You killed six orderlies, broke my arm and clavicle, and retreated within yourself for days. I had to wait until you were nearly fifteen before attempting to take you out-of-doors again.”

I breathed in deeply through my nose. “What makes it different?” If I knew what to expect I might not be scared. No matter what happened I still had to face that unknown, but I would gather all the information I could. Unfortunately, Hojo never fully answered any questions, not even when he meant to.

Hojo sighed almost silently. “Like I said, there are no walls, no ceiling, no floor. There are plants growing everywhere, coming out of the dirt. The air moves freely; it doesn’t circulate through ducts. It’s the world, Sephiroth, a world you’ve only read about and never experienced. You’ve never seen anything so big.”

“Did you tell me all this when I was fourteen?” I still couldn’t believe I’d grown up. I didn’t feel like an adult. All I’d noticed was being big and tall. And I couldn’t understand the lack of walls and a ceiling.

“No.” Hojo looked away. “I didn’t think to tell you.” He picked the pretty woman up again, cradling her head on his shoulder. “We don’t have to go out there until you’re ready.”

For a moment I nearly forgot my fear. The woman he called Cetra but introduced as Aerith had death grip on Hojo’s coat. She took comfort in him.

I couldn’t fathom this. Hojo had nothing in his personality to make that delicate female seek him out. I couldn’t figure anything out by his expression no matter how hard I looked. I looked in his eyes, but this time I really looked. “She likes you,” I said flatly.

“She likes you more,” Hojo answered immediately. “I’m just her friend.”

I thought about that a moment, taking my gaze back to the big door. I’d never had a friend, but I’d taken care of her in the playroom since she’d been so little. She wasn’t little now. Did she like me because I’d tried to protect her? If that was so, why did she like Hojo? He’d been nasty to her.

Something had changed. I missed a big piece of myself. My breathing sped up and the walls started to feel too close.

“Don’t,” Hojo said sharply, startling me. “You’re going to be alright, Sephiroth. Your memory will come back with Aerith’s help, it just won’t happen today or tonight. Don’t get overwhelmed by your missing memories.”

I flinched, unable to help it. I hated his impatient voice. It meant trouble, and trouble meant discomfort at the very least.

Hojo’s face moved in an unfamiliar way. “I’m not saying this to be cruel,” he explained. “I just don’t want you to get outside this door and do what you did at fourteen. You’re powerful, the most powerful man alive. Think about that a moment and tell me what it means.”

“I don’t have to think about it,” I replied. “It means you can’t hurt me or tell me what to do anymore.” And I rejoiced about that. He needed to be careful around me, because if I took the idea for revenge he could do nothing.

“Partially correct,” Hojo shot back, his voice sharp again. “Being the most powerful man also means being the most responsible man. If you lose control outside this door you could kill me, the Cetra, and then go on to destroy the entire continent.” He leveled his serious, black gaze at me. “I promise you, Sephiroth, that you do not want to kill this woman.” He held her a little higher, making me look at her. “So, if for no other reason than Aerith, you need to be in charge of yourself.”

I believed him, and it surprised me that I believed him. It also surprised me that he cared what happened to Aerith. I could see it by the way he held her in his arms, by the way he looked at her.

“She’s saved my life and yours, Sephiroth,” Hojo continued. “She deserves every bit of shelter we can give her.”

“I understand,” I murmured. “But if I’m the most powerful man alive, how could she help me? She’s so small.”

“She’s the mightiest female alive, a good match for you,” Hojo said. “Now, are you ready to go out?”

“Yes.” I put my hand on the door’s electrical control panel. I needed to face what scared me, and quickly. The longer I waited the more difficult it would become. “But I have questions you’ll answer later,” I vowed.

“I’ll tell you anything you want to know,” Hojo promised. “Push the red button.”