A Year with a Psycho, Vampire and Co.

Thanks everybody for the reviews! I really appreciate them. I believe this is going to be the second to last chapter, but if I get more than 5 reviews for the whole story then I might be able to squeeze in some more. Unfortunately I have a bad habit of starting a story and making it an epic. And I’ve done that three times and I haven’t finished or even posted any of them. Anyways, I work as fast as I can. I think I’ll add three or more chapters more. In fact, in your reviews, give me some ideas. Not that I’m running out of them, but I want to write something that isn’t from my twisted mind.


The Not-Quite-Rape Raping
As told to you by Irvine

Ok, this is just a short story here, but its one of the more entertaining stories in my opinion. The day Seifer almost got raped by Squall will go down into history books everywhere. Now you ask why would the great commander of Garden try to rape Seifer?

That’s because Squall is freaky-deaky, and probably slightly psychotic. Apparently Squall’s a masochist because one day while Vinny and I were sitting on the couch, not making out or having sex in public, and he was in the kitchen cutting up something, he accidentally cut himself. That would have been fine but when we turned around at his hiss, we found him with glazed eyes staring at the wound and a hand rubbing at his hard member.

Well, I don’t know what happened after that because Vincent and I were too turned on at the sight to do what we wanted to do after looking at it. Squall is one sexy bitch.

So that was our first inkling that maybe Squall is a bit strange when it comes to fetishes and the like. The second inkling was bit more understandable and not near as disturbing.

True fact: Squall’s thinks he’s the ultimate seme and no one will take that away from him, nor will they take away the fact that he’s an ass kind of guy. The man will follow a hot ass until it can be seen no more, which is where Seifer comes into play in this strange world of Squall’s. And keep in mind, all this comes before the ‘incident’.

Seifer’s favorite spot in the whole townhouse thing we live in is the couch in the living room. He usually lays the length of it on his stomach and rests his head on his folded arms. It’s quite a comfortable position really. Zell and Squall return from buying groceries one day as Vincent and I are cooking some ramen noodles and chicken. Zell bounces in with his spunky self and puts away the groceries, but Squall...dear Squall sits in the recliner and stares, nearly glaring at Seifer perfectly round ass. I can almost understand the staring because Seifer does have a pretty shapely ass: it jiggles just enough to think you can squeeze it, but it’s made out of steel. No lie. I’ve smacked it a few times so he would quit picking off the food I’m making and it hurt my hand.

But I’m getting off the topic...

Squall just stared his ass down like a lion before it bounds toward its prey. Its kind of fitting, don’t you think? Anyways, Squall actually started to reach out to touch it, but Seifer suddenly jostled in his sleep, breaking whatever trance Squall was in. Squall merely blinks and walks away into his room. Zell spent the next fifteen minutes rolling on the floor, laughing his ass off.

Ever since that day, we joked about Squall and his ass fetish, but never in front of him because, frankly, we like living. We didn’t tell Seifer about Squall’s fixation with his ass, which is how the incident even happened.

So Vincent and Zell conspired against both Squall and Seifer about a month ago. The operation: Get Seifer Raped. With Vincent’s knowledge of Squall’s masochism and Zell’s knowledge of Squall’s ass fetish, they came up with a very simple plan. So this is how it worked out:

Zell and Vincent both pulled Seifer into my bedroom (also Zell’s) and made a simple deal with Seifer. If he made Squall turned on by doing two things, they would pay him 10,000 gil. Seifer, of course, readily accepted before he heard the two things he would have to do. So when they told him that he had to cut Squall and rub his ass on him, he was a bit...hesitant. No, no. That would be an understatement. He fucking ran to the door, but Vincent, with his inhuman speed, beat him to the door. He grabbed Seifer by the collar of his shirt and whispered something akin to ‘you’ll be able to embarrass him or something even better’. My Vincent is a really clever person if you haven’t noticed.

Anyways, Seifer quit panicking and pulled himself together. Taking a deep breath, he walks out of the bedroom with Vincent, Zell and I following behind him. We situate ourselves all over the living room: Vincent and I on the couch and Zell in the recliner. We are all at an angle so we can see what’s happening in the kitchen.

Seifer walks up beside Squall and basically asks if he can help cut the vegetables. Squall grunts a gruff yes. So a few minutes later, they’re cutting carrots and celery side-by-side. Squall is the first to move and dump his pile of carrots into the pot; unbeknownst to him, Seifer is scoots over beside him to the pot to dump his celery. Squall steps back and Seifer scoots in front of him and pushes his ass back, making it rub against Squall.

And Squall moans. Seifer’s eyes widen in surprise. Clearly he didn’t expect it to be so easy. And as nonchalantly as possible, Seifer spins at the moan and his knife ‘accidentally’ catches Squall’s arm, making it bleed a little.

Squall looks down at his arm, chest heaving with heavy breaths full of lust and desire, and then he looks up to Seifer who looks like a rabbit caught in headlights. The brunette licks his lips hungrily as he swipes a finger across the bleeding wound and brings it to his lips, tasting it.

“I didn’t mean to cut you Squall; I’m so sorry.” Seifer acts quite well for someone who’s about to be raped.

“Oh but you did...hiss...it’s just that seeing my blood...feeling pain...turns me on.”

“Wha--?!” Squall virtually slithers up to Seifer; that’s just how gracefully fluid he is. Reaching around, he grabs Seifer’s ass and pulls him to him.

“This is what happens when I see your ass, taunting me so...” Licking his lips again, Squall pulls himself eye level with his fellow gunblader. “I’m going to fuck your pretty ass so hard you won’t be able to walk for the next month.”

Seifer looks like he’s about to pass out, which is pretty amazing considering the man looks angry and smirks most of the time. But apparently he gets an idea and the smirk is back.

Then he does the unthinkable: he grabs Squall’s hair and bangs his head into the refrigerator door.

“Nobody fucks me.” Seifer growls between clenched teeth. Did I mention Squall is the ultimate seme and sadistic?

“FUCK, that felt wonderful! Yes I’m going to fuck you hard!” And with that Squall grabs Seifer by the throat and leads him into their bedroom.

Zell snickers like a little kid who just stole some candy from a candy store and Vincent is smirking a bit. I almost fear for the life of Seifer, well, that is until I heard thumping and moaning coming from their bedroom. We, three, look at each other and our combined thought is “Damn!”

We figure since they were so tied up and Squall wasn’t going to finish dinner, we ordered pizza. When the pizza guy delivered the pizza, and heard the screams of ecstasy coming through the walls, he completely forgot about taking our money. He just sort of ran back to his car. Cool, free pizza.

In the morning, we went to survey the damage that was done, and Holy Shit! There were cum stains on the wall, a hole in the wall, a broken bed, clothes everywhere, and the fortunate sight of seeing the two men still fucking away on the unbroken bed, Seifer on top! I might have stayed to watch a little longer if Squally hadn’t been multitasking and pulled his gunblade and pointed it at me.

And that is how Seifer came to say, “You can’t rape the willing!”

Perhaps next time, I’ll tell you how a new instructor, Laguna, nearly killed Zell. Until next time...bye bye!