Redemption

Authors Notes: Nanowrimo has reminded me that I love to write. And hopefully it will help me correct some of the more glaring flaws with my writing schedual. (The whole...not writing for months and months on end bit, to be more specific.) I would offer apologies for how long this chapter has taken to come, but no apology would really be enough. So if anyone still remembers this story...hey look! A chapter!

Chapter 5 - Dreams of Ghosts

The tent wasn’t completely waterproof. Cloud had discovered this during the first rain storm, and unfortunately for him, it seemed to rain a lot in this area. His nights were spent moving his cot around to dodge the various leaks as they popped up, and finally giving up to attempt uncomfortable sleep as the cot’s fabrics soaked with water.

He had been assigned to a mission south of Junon, along with a small group of other worthy SOLDIER candidates. It didn’t come as much of a surprise, even though Cloud hadn’t been training half the time the other’s had been. A small group of Wutaian insurgence had invaded Junon and retained some delicate Shinra information. They were sent to track this group down and reclaim the documents. It hadn’t been as easy as they would have liked. Instead of leaving through the harbour, they had set out south of Junon, leading Cloud’s squad on a wild goose chase.

The days were tiring and mostly uneventful. Incompetence of others had made the few run-ins a series of near misses, and their group just wasn’t moving fast enough to keep up.

However during the entire mission Cloud had found his mind elsewhere. One could blame the lack of sleep, brought on by leaky equipment, but Cloud was sure that lack of sleep was more of a symptom for something else entirely.

His dreams were haunted, to the point where he was somewhat afraid to sleep. Afraid of what, he was not sure, but the pain he experienced during these dreams was so unexplainable, and so absolute, that he would wake up holding back screams.

Lack of sleep, brought on by fear of sleep, was an intelligent diagnosis.

Despite the fact that the leader of the small group had almost gotten them all horribly lost, they could still hear the crash of underbrush that signalled that the Wutaian group was ahead. They had skipped a night of sleep to gain some extra ground, and had nearly tripped across their quarry when they stumbled across their encampment. In the confusion the scuffle had caused, a couple of Wutian soldiers had slipped away, taking the needed documents with them.

Cloud and three others were sent after them. They followed them into a the woods, and were now playing a serious game of hide and seek. It was more than frustrating for the blond, following someone who was clearly incompetent but unable to do anything about it in the name of following orders. Failure to detain their targets would probably lead to the failure of the mission in general, which would not look good on any of their records.

They came to the bank of a shallow, fast moving river. They had been lagging behind bad enough that they were out of earshot, and wouldn’t have been able to hear anything over the rush of water anyways. There was, however, a lot of blood scattered over the bank. One of the soldiers they were chasing had been wounded, the trail of blood he was leaving testifying that they had been in this area.

“Uh, I think they went this way.” He said, pointing up the riverbank. Cloud was almost positive that a fear of water had more of an influence on the man’s decision then the obvious clues that the Wutai soldiers had gone across the river. Especially since there were obvious marks gracing the far river bank, where running men had scrambled out of the water.

“No, across.” He finally snapped, stepping ahead of the group to move to the edge of the river. “It’s shallow, we can wade across no problem.” And with that, he hopped off the short ledge into the water. His uniform was still damp from his tent leaking on it, so the additional moisture wasn’t a problem.

“Hey, wait! I’m the leader!” The man was really more of a boy, barely eighteen, but determined to prove himself. Cloud’s very presence in the entire exercise cast a stark shadow on them all. On top of his attitude, well, the blonds’ efforts to make the mission a success were not taken the right way.

“And it’s your leadership that will cost us the mission if you fail to make the right decisions. And I just told you the right decision.” It was a carefully worded reply, as Cloud knew that insubordination would cost him. It also made his point, and the man nodded, singling the other member of their troop to jump in as well.

The river was extremely fast flowing in the middle, knocking Cloud around as it pleased as the blond forced his way through. Behind him, Cloud heard loud curses as the fast moving water swept the leader of their troop off his feet. Cloud was soaked through to his waist by the time he pulled himself up onto the bank, weighed down by all the water.

A series of curses in front of him, instead of behind, brought Cloud’s attention back to the task assigned. The targets could get away, and as he looked back he saw the other two cadets he was with stumble and trip through the water, one supporting the leader who had apparently hurt his ankle when he had fallen. Practically growling to himself, Cloud weighed his options before he made his decision. Unwilling to risk the mission, he gave up on waiting and went ahead, creeping through the trees to find the soldier’s who couldn’t be far away.

He found the two Wutaians in a small clearing. One man was leaning, only half conscious, against a tree, bleeding from several places and apparently his trip across the river had left him in a far worse condition, several scrapes from where he had fallen and been pushed around by the water visible. The other man was attempting to revive him, when Cloud stepped forward into the clearing, First Sword drawn.

Attention was pulled to him almost immediately, as the Wutian spat his distaste and immediately drew a hand gun from his hip. Cloud barely pulled First Sword in front of him fast enough to deflect the bullets as the soldier emptied a clip on him, and he quickly decided that fatigue was slowing his reflexes badly.

Lunging he didn’t give the man to reload, a rough collision of First Sword and the man’s arm disarming him and probably breaking a couple bones. Recovering from impact, Cloud drew back into a defensive stance. “I’ll be taking the documents back.” Cloud announced. “If you value your life, I suggest you give them willingly.”

Whether or not the man fully understood him, he was unwilling to comply so easily. Drawing a knife he lunged towards Cloud, meeting First Sword’s blade in a small scuffle.

Cloud was unwilling to pitch his strength against another at this time, so drawing from the power of equipped materia, he cast Ultima. His hand made contact with the man’s ribs as he pushed the spell towards him, and the scream satisfied Cloud that the man was no longer a threat.

The soon-to-be-corpse fell to the ground, panting heavily as Cloud easily disarmed him of remaining weapons, searching the man until he turned up the small bundle of discs that contained the needed data. Straightening up, he barely caught the gleam in the man’s eye, before he felt something sharp stinging into the back of his neck.

Whirling around, he saw the other heavily injured Wutain lower an oddly shaped gun, and Cloud jerked his hand to his neck to pull out a colourful dart. He cursed as he felt poison start to burn into his skin where the dart had connected, and slight confusion overwhelmed him as he heard a crashing in the trees.

With a snarl, he forced his body to move towards the injured man, and First Sword took care of any further threat.

The poison was moving fast, but the pain was far more worrisome. As he heard his troop stumble into the clearing to witness the scene, Cloud struggled to make his hands work enough to drag an antidote from his sheath pocket.

“Woah man, your neck is like, purple.” The other cadet, (Ryan, was it?) said, ignoring the newly made cadavers as he let go of the troop leader to go to Cloud’s side. “Holy hell, it’s spreading too.”

Cloud groaned a curse as the antidote seemed ineffective. “Wutia always has weird poisons.” His voice was cutting out and Cloud realized that too much more movement was going to cause the poison to spread. He was almost unable to accept the remedy that Ryan handed to him, and taking it didn’t make the movement worthwhile as the results were the same as with the antidote.

He vaguely heard the troop leader radioing in for backup as he shuddered. “The poison is moving too fast, have to shut it down. Hit me with stop, and paralyze.” Cloud groaned, shaking as the pain intensified and his vision started to get foggy.

“Just wait, backup is on its way.”

“There’s no time! Look at the veins in his hands! They're turning purple too! The stuff is turning his blood to sludge.”

Everything went black when Ryan cast the status magic.

While the mission had been assigned to SOLDIER recruits, due to the delicacy of the situation, they had not been solely responsible. In case the mission failed, Turks had been assigned to hang back and keep an eye on the situation. This was probably for the better, as when one of the cadets had ended up infected by a strange poison, they were able to take him back to Shinra by helicopter, and most likely save his life.

Mako had been injected on the way there. The cadet had showed a keenness for it during light testing prior to being dispatched on the mission. However the mako wasn’t clearing up the poison. The status effects that had been cast on him had been the step that separated him from life or death. Had his body continue to function, his heart would have continued to have beat the poison throughout his body, infecting his entire bloodstream and turning all his blood to sludge. After prolonged exposure to the poison, other tissues such as those found in his heart and lungs would have also been infected.

Instead, they kept him under stop and paralyze as he was rushed back to Shinra and admitted to the hospital there. With everything short of a miracle at their disposal, the cadet was well taken care of. His blood was fed through a machine to cleanse it, and completely remove the destroyed blood and poison from his system. There the poison was taken to labs to start working on an antidote, while the undamaged blood was put back into his system.

Due to the way mako reacted with the boy, and his uncanny abilities to heal as it was, his blood regenerated fast, and would soon replace the blood that they had to remove.

So when the doctors were sure that they had done all they could, they removed the status effects, and waited.

Cloud didn’t wake up.

He was dying. It was ridiculous to be able to diagnose his condition so easily, but when you had already experienced it once, you could never forget what it was like. He was trying to breathe but all he was doing was doing was coughing and choking but never inhaling the sweet air he needed so desperately. His eyes were burning and blurred, the darkness around the edges of his vision moving further and further in, until all he could see was blackness.

And then he was running. He didn’t know where he was, but everything was white. There were flowers. They were her flowers and he knew it, but he couldn’t even remember who she was.

Then he saw her up ahead, tending to the flowers looking so peaceful and happy. He wanted to join her, he knew this was where he belonged. This was his place and god he had given everything, he deserved to be right there next to her.

But then she looked up what he saw wasn’t inviting or comforting at all. She didn’t have to say a word, those gorgeous green eyes of hers were telling him everything. Telling him ‘no’ and ‘it’s not your place’ all at once, all at the same time.

“What are you doing here?” It was almost an accusation, and as she stood she was defensive, as if she didn’t trust him, as someone would treat an outsider who had intruded on their property.

“I belong here. Don’t I? It feels like I do.”

And then she looked sad. Her shoulders sunk and those eyes melted from anger to pity. He didn’t like being pitied, he didn’t like her expression at all. She looked so sorry for him like he was a lost little puppy and damn it all he wasn’t a puppy and he wasn’t lost. He was a man and he knew he belonged right there, there was no doubt and he knew he was right.

“Oh, Cloud.” She sighed, walking towards him. She was right in front of him, reaching out for him and just about to touch him before she stopped her hand. She froze in midair and closed her eyes tightly. “I know this is breaking you. But there’s nothing I can do. You have to leave.”

He didn’t want to leave, he wanted to stay there because that’s where he belonged. He told her that, but she just looked away and shook her head. She turned to leave, but he called out to her, reached out and moved to follow her.

She suddenly turned, and light just seemed to shift and suddenly there was a staff in her hand. She held it in front of her in a defensive pose, as if he was about to attack her, as if he was about to destroy everything he desired so much.

“You have to leave.”

Her tone was pleading and begging, and he knew this was hurting her as much as it hurt him. He knew that despite her pain, she would attack him if he pressed on, that she would make sure he left no matter what it took, no matter how much it hurt her.

And despite the fact he could feel himself breaking as he walked away, he grit his teeth and bore the pain, because he was used to pain and it was far better than letting her feel this way.

He didn’t know why, but he knew that he owed her this much. So as he walked he never looked back. He never saw tears slip from her eyes nor seen her lips mouth the words ‘goodbye, my love.’ He would never know, but it would hurt them all no matter what he did.

“We’ve done all we can do. We’ll keep him on the haemodialysis for another hour or so, but all the tests are coming back clean. His brain was shut down for an extended period of time, but tests showed no damage done to it by the poison. It might just be slow starting back up again.”

“How do you think this will reflect on his mission grade?”

“That’s not really my call, Mr. Fair.” The doctor said with a laugh. “I’m not involved in that department. However from the medical report I received, he did everything he could to treat himself, and his actions probably saved his life. I don’t think it will look too bad, as long as he pulls through.”

It took Cloud a few moments to realize what was going on, and where the voice he was hearing was coming from. He opened his eyes to be immediately blinded by the harsh florescent light of the medical room, the flicker of eyelids attracting the attention of the other denizens in the room.

“Cloud, you’re awake!” He recognized Zack’s voice quickly, and turned his head to see him better. While there was stiff resistance from his muscles, there was no pain. Cloud considered that as a good sign.

“What are you doing here?” He asked the SOLDIER bluntly as his eyes focused. It was surprising, yet awkward that the other man was in his room when he was in this condition.

“You missed our training meet, so I snooped around to find out what had happened during your mission and found out you’d been hurt. You almost died, Cloud. Why wouldn’t I be here?”

“It’s no big deal.” Cloud muttered, reaching for the switches of the machine he was hooked to, then scowled when he realized it was more complex to unhook his body from haemodialysis then a couple flicks of a switch. The doctor then returned the scowl from the other side of the room, visually chastising Cloud for even trying.

“No big deal? Are you..” He was cut off.

“It was a new poison, that’s all. The updated antidotes will cover it and it will be just another poison that everyone brushes off. I was just stupid enough to get hit with it first.”

“It wasn’t your fault you got it, it was..”

Once again Cloud didn’t let Zack finish his sentence. “It was my fault, but it doesn’t matter. I think you have to get out of the way so the doctor can work.”

Zack snapped his head up to see the doctor waiting patiently behind him. “And here I thought you would be comforted by a familiar face when you woke up.” He said with a slight laugh that earned a raised eyebrow from Cloud.

“It’s really no big deal, but thank you for coming, just the same.” There was no reason to be impolite, especially not to Zack. “I missed it but could we reschedule the training? It would be nice,” he took a moment to find the right words, “We haven’t trained in a while.”

“Of course!” Zack said as he moved to the foot of the bed to let the doctor through. Though you should probably rest a while before you do anything more. Just in case there are any complications. You didn't wake up for a while so maybe something else could be wrong."

Cloud knew what was wrong, but there was no doctors cure for that problem. "I'll be fine. Tomorrow night?"

Zack shook his head in an almost regretful manner, but didn't put up a further struggle. "You're crazy, but fine. If you think you can handle it then tomorrow it is."

Zack stuck around to hover over the doctors shoulder for a little while longer, before the man finally asked him to leave so he could finish the necessary preparations to release Cloud. With an additional promise to meet Cloud tomorrow, he left.

It was just before the doctor signed Cloud's release form when he spoke up again. "Mr. Strife, there was something I wanted to ask you." He reached into a folder that Cloud recognized as his file, and pulled out a few sheets that looked like various test results. Cloud stiffened when he realized what that meant. This was where things would get complicated.

"I monitored mako levels in your blood when you didn't respond to some of the treatments. But all of the mako levels came back unnaturally high, even for someone within SOLDIER. There were various components also, that were unidentifiable to everything in our database. I dug a little further, and found some mutations within your base DNA strands." The man was watching Cloud very carefully, noting how the cadet got stiffer and stiffer as he looked over the test results. Many of them came back 'EXTREME', 'UNKNOWN', and 'ERROR'. There was obvious reason for the doctor to be concerned. "I am judging by your lack of surprise, that you already know what this is from."

Cloud tried not to display any nervousness, but he couldn't help shifting his weight from foot to foot. He was just recovering from being in a coma-like state for over a day, his mind wasn't working fast enough to come up with a suitable lie. "There was an accident..."

"There were no records of such an accident, and your initial physical exam did not display these things, which means that this has occurred since the last time you took your physical exam tests." When Cloud remained silent in his defensive stance, the doctor sighed, taking the test results back from Cloud and tucking them into their folder. "Let me put it this way, Mr. Strife. If this is side effect from the poisons, it is my business to know, as in future, some of our soldiers may become infected in such a way. If it is from something else, it is not related, and I can simply forget ever running these tests."

Cloud froze, snapping his gaze to the man and examining him closely. He seemed to be honest, not displaying any malicious intent. "Are you serious?"

"I work for Shinra, Strife. It is in my job description to forget some of the oddities concerning my patients. You are no exception." When Cloud nodded, looking visibly relieved, the man continued. "Though I must warn you, if you are self-treating yourself I must advise you to stop. You are very close to pushing your body past the limit."

"It's not self-treatment, and it shouldn't' get any worse than this."

"Then I bid you good luck." The doctor said, while signing the release forms.

Cloud was given a week to recover fully from his hospitalization before he was called to receive his grade for the mission. Despite the fact he had continued training, Shinra claimed that it was necessary for him to have this time to get back into a routine. Cloud's sleep habits hadn't improved much, but not being sent on missions or having to attend classes gave him more time to work on more important things.

But one week wasn't enough to find out everything he needed, and even with his access to Shinra's library database, he could only glance off the tip of the iceberg of information he needed to plan his method of attack. It was almost annoying to be holed up in the small board room he was in, but he didn't let it show. Good behaviour meant that this meeting would be over with quickly and he could get back to his research, and his training, regardless of what the results of the mission were.

“Well Mr. Strife, I have to admit. When I first received your recommendation, I was sceptical.” The woman’s voice was as trim as her appearance, yet held enough authority that Cloud forced himself to sit up a little straighter as he was addressed. “Perhaps some of the doubt remained after reviewing your files. And the report of your hospitalization after the assigned task was even more exasperating.”

While most cadets would have been feeling more than a little disappointed at that, Cloud's expression remained neutral. Whether or not he was penalized for it, his mistakes had been impatience, and underestimating an enemy he had thought to be neutralized. Yet his hospitalization had been the cause of a poison that antidotes had not covered: Shinra's failing, not his.

"However the details of your hospitalization were explained, and I see it was simply circumstance that caused this. You did all you could to rectify the situation in the field, and when such measures failed, you made sure that the problem could be solved when you returned yourself to Shinra's care. Because of this, we have a new antidote about to be released, and our forces in Wutai will be safe from this new poison. You have serviced Shinra in more ways than one during this mission, and for this I thank you."

Cloud nodded. “However you haven’t yet completed your standard training, and as useless as you might think it, it is required for all of SOLDIER and its candidates. This training will make you more disciplined, prepare you for the missions you will face, and strengthen your bonds with your fellow cadets."

It would also prove his loyalty to Shinra. As he had not been around long enough to do this already, continuing his training would give them ample time to answer any questions they had about him, and his loyalty towards the company he was offering to serve. They may be eager to have him in the field, but protocol had to be followed.

“I understand.”

“Good.” The woman said brightly, before she straightened the papers of his file and folded her hands over top of them. “As you continue your training, however, we will start work on your SOLDIER application portfolio. This will eliminate the waiting period and ensure that you remain, shall we say, challenged, as you train.” Cloud almost smirked, but held back, instead nodding his head again.

“You will be receiving details of upcoming missions and other tasks in your daily mail. With that, you are dismissed.” She said, returning papers to their folders. “I’m sure you wish continue your strict training regime.” She almost sounded amused, but it was well hidden.

Cloud didn’t need to respond. Getting up he straightened his uniform and moved towards the door. Just past the threshold, he paused. Curiosity got the better of him and he turned back to the woman.

“Who recommended me?” He knew his recommendation came from higher places, yet he did not know anyone who was a higher rank within Shinra.

“I’m sorry Mr. Strife, such information is confidential.” After a small pause the woman tilted her head with a smile. “Though I can tell you that it came from within the ranks of SOLDIER itself.”

Zack.

Cloud was surprised at the realization that it had to be Zack, as Cloud didn’t know anyone else in SOLDIER. The older boy had done so much for him already, befriending him and helping him with his training. Yet here he was pushing to have him accepted into SOLDIER faster as well. He almost felt guilty for accepting so much help from Zack, especially when he had done nothing to deserve it.

“Thank you.” Cloud said quietly before he stepped out of the room and closed the door behind him.

Cloud knew there were more important things to be doing, yet exhaustion was tugging at him and he couldn’t refuse. So when he made it back to his dorm, he stripped out of his clothes, tossed his gear in the corner, and climbed into bed without any further preparation.


Cloud was selecting a VR mission when the training center door opened, and though it was hard to turn his back on the EXP that was to be had there, he pulled off the helmet anyway. Looking up he saw Zack hanging on to the edge of the door.

"I thought you'd be here." The brunet said with a grin. "My training log has been going off the hook recently, Angeal's been rewarding me for all the training I've been doing." Zack said with a devilish laugh, walking up to Cloud. "Hope I'm not interrupting."

"It's fine, I was only selecting a new mission." Cloud said, looking down at the helmet in his hands. "Angeal doesn't know it's not you?"

"Oh, I think he does. He's just rewarding me to guilt trip me into doing the same level of training myself. But it won't work, I'm not as insane as you are."

"I'm not insane." Cloud said with a frown, finally setting the helmet down on the counter they were standing near. "I just have a lot of missions coming up soon."

"Ugh, that's right. Even though the last mission almost killed you they're already preparing to send you on another within two weeks time. I'd say you've impressed all the right people."

"Looks like." Cloud said with a bit of a sigh. "Not giving me much of a chance to catch my breath though."

"How are you doing? If they are pushing you too hard you can just tell them to ease off a bit. They just need good SOLDIER in Wutai is all."

"It's not the work, or the training, I can handle that fine." Cloud said, before he frowned. "There are just other things I have to do too. It's hard to find a balance between that and Shinra. It's easy to get sidetracked by one or the other."

"What kind of other things? Maybe I can help you out."

Cloud shook his head. "It's personal matters, nothing you can really help with. Thank you for the offer though."

Zack brightened, punching Cloud lightly on the shoulder. "Hey, any time I can help out, you just let me know okay?" When Cloud nodded he smiled. "So with all these personal issues and training, have you had any time to do things like, eat? Sleep? Socialize?"

"I'm talking to you right now." Cloud said, tilting his head to the side. "Does that count as socializing?"

"Oh, hell no." Zack said with a scoff. "Why don't you come and have supper with me tonight? We could do things that normal people do for a night."

Cloud's response was a blink. "And what would those things be?"

"I don't know, have dinner, watch TV, talk about things like politics and religion?"

"Sounds dull." Cloud said with a snort.

"But still," Zack countered, "I'd like to talk to you, get to know you a bit more. We haven't really had time to do any of that since we met."

And while getting reacquainted with a ghost of his past was something Cloud would have preferred to continue putting off, with Zack helping him like he was, it wasn't really fair to say no. Besides, it would give Cloud a chance to mention the recommendation that he suspected Zack had put out for him.

"Alright then, we'll do normal people things tonight."


Notes: I hope to offer more after Nanowrimo is over. And hopefully with a better schedule for chapter releases and a reworked story board.