Wrong?

Okay, I'm finally done editing chapter 5! Sorry for the wait, I was having some problems with my college loans... but no one wants to hear about that. This chapter's very tame... there's some language (there will always be language in my stories), and really just some mentions of sex. However, I must have gone temporarily insane when I was writing this because there's a very fluffy flashback scene. That's odd for me since I don't normally do fluff, so I hope you don't mind. There is more sex and violence coming. Anyway, read the chapter and enjoy!

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Tidus thought he had taken everything pretty well considering what all had happened. I mean, it wasn't everyday your entire life was flipped completely upside down. It wasn't everyday some giant monster attacks your home and when you wake up again you're in a completely different world. Alone. Abandoned. Again. So really what did people expect from him?

He knew he wasn't as "mature" as most of the people in this new world, in Spira. Of course he wasn't, he'd grown up in Zanarkand, where life was pretty much one big party. Then he comes here where everything's all doom and gloom and they want him to adjust instantly. Well tough shit, not going to happen, not that fast at least. He was adjusting slowly, and it was the best he could do. He didn't really care if it wasn't good enough for anybody else, he wasn't going to change his entire personality for them.

Besides, not everyone had a problem with him. Yuna liked him the way he was. Yuna who was so sweet and kind, who he could talk to for hours, who had automatically accepted him... after just a few days with her, she became precious to him. Not in a romantic way (obviously), but he found himself wanting to be by her side and protect her.

Honestly, she reminded him of a female Dennick. She was the only person he'd ever met whose compassion could compare to the older boy's. The older boy who had been the best friend Tidus had ever had and who he missed terribly. Having Yuna fill that missing role helped him cope greatly with this sudden drastic change in, well everything. Yuna was his new Dennick only more... fragile. Much more fragile. So she needed to be treated with care, and he was going to do it. He would take care of her, in a way no one else could.

It made his heart soar when she said in those woods she wanted him to be one of her guardians. She wanted to keep him near. It didn't matter that the others were against it for whatever different reasons they had. She wanted him around, and that was good enough. It was enough to once again quell the loss of Dennick and quell the loss of... him. It was enough to keep away the feelings of being left behind by the most important person in his life.

He had to admit he cheered up some once they reached Luca. It was thriving, there were lots of people, the closest thing to Zanarkand he'd encountered since he'd been there. And he got to play blitzball. What more could he want? Really there was plenty more, but he wasn't selfish or stupid enough to ask for or expect it. Even the one thing he really wanted.

And Luca turned out to be an interesting place, what with rumors that made Tidus' heart stop, Al Bhed kidnappings, angry Ronsos, and finally, none other than fiends who somehow managed to slip not only into the city, but straight into the fucking blitzball sphere. And like the good little trooper he was, Tidus took all of this in stride, doing his very best not to utter one word of complaint, lest he be labeled a whiny little bitch again. He did what he was supposed to, protected Yuna, helped Wakka beat the fiends in the sphere, and after the last one was dead he looked up into the now empty stands and... *Auron.*

His world felt like it came crashing around him again and he couldn't breathe. He was here. The rumor earlier had been true, he was really here.

After that, time sort of flew by unheeded. He remembered defeating more fiends with Auron right by his side, remembered the creepy maester guy summoning some ridiculously powerful monster, remembered checking to make sure Yuna was completely unharmed. Then it was just him and Auron, alone. And he didn't want to take all this shit in stride anymore.

He screamed at Auron about how all of this was his fault while the man just stood there, silently watching and letting him have his temper tantrum. Then, as if all of this hadn't been enough, Auron told him that Sin was Jecht. The straw that broke the camel's back and actually made him forget his complicated feelings towards Auron for the moment. He was the son of an entire world's suffering. Great. Just fucking great.

By the time the group had stopped at an inn for the night, Tidus had finally calmed down, enough to talk to Auron again, at least. Not yell at him again, not use him to vent his frustrations. Actually talk. He knocked tentatively on the door and waited until a gruff voice called, "Come in." Entering hesitantly, he found the red-clad warrior sitting on his bed, sipping from his sake jug. He walked over to him, blue eyes never leaving that amber one. "I wanted to apologize."

Auron wasn't surprised, having been waiting for the teenager to show up at his door. He knew the boy well enough to know he'd feel guilty about yelling at him earlier. "There's nothing to apologize for. It's understandable that you were upset."

"Yeah but--" The boy made a strangled noise in his throat. "Just because I was upset doesn't mean I should've yelled at you. You didn't do anything wrong."

"It's all right."

"No, no it's not." Tidus looked frustrated now, like he wanted to explain something and didn't know how. Auron waited patiently until he finally sighed, deflated, and looked back up at his guardian again. "I'm sorry. I'm really glad you're here. I thought... I thought maybe you didn't want me anymore..."

The wording was awkward, but Auron knew what he meant and it made him frown. He hadn't said anything like that since he'd brought the damn cat home.

Fluffy Flashback:

Auron was on the deck of the houseboat, training with his sword when he heard Tidus call him cheerfully from the living room. With a grunt of response, he swung his Marasame up onto his shoulder, heading inside. It had been around six months since he'd come to Zanarkand and he was slowly getting used to this new life. The boy was a little emotional, but nothing he couldn't handle, and he was getting the hang of parenting. He'd even let the boy have some friends over for a "party" to celebrate his birthday two weeks ago. Admittedly he hadn't enjoyed a dozen eight year old boys running around and tearing the house apart, but he'd suffered through it and did a good job of it. It was just another challenge, and dammit, Auron could handle any challenge you gave him.

Now as he entered the house, he found Tidus standing in the living room with a ridiculous grin on his face, a large bundle of golden brown fur in his arms. Auron blinked once, twice, then, "What the hell is that?"

"It's a kitty." Tidus held the cat out for Auron to see better.

A kitty? Auron examined the beast in the boy's arms with a growing frown. The cat was very big, it's fur was long and somewhat matted, letting him know it was definitely a stray, it looked old and very angry, and to top it off, it's one eye was permanently shut under a scar. Only Tidus could possibly describe it as 'a kitty.'

"Can I keep him?"

Auron's eye narrowed dangerously. "No."

The smile dropped off Tidus' face so fast it was comical. "What? But--"

"I said no."

"Why?"

"I do not like cats. Now put it back where you found it, it probably has fleas."

"B-but..." The child's eyes shined with tears about to escape. "But I already named him."

"Tidus, I don't--"

"His name's Tidon."

Auron stopped when hearing the name, afraid to ask, but doing so anyway. "Why is his name Tidon?"

Tidus looked at him like he wasn't quite all there and said like it was the most simple answer in the world, "Because Aurus sounds weird."

While he hadn't been expecting that, it still answered his question. Tidus had fused their names together. Yevon help him, he knew the boy wasn't so bright but, "Tidus, couldn't you have been a little more creative?"

The boy stared blankly for a moment, until he figured out what his guardian meant, then scowled. "But it fits him." Before Auron could ask how it fit him, the boy continued excitedly, "He's like you 'cuz he *looks* grumpy and mean, but then when you go to pick him up he's really sweet and cuddly, plus he's only got one eye. And he's like me 'cuz no one wants him."

The warrior wanted to object being called sweet and cuddly, but then realized what the boy had just said. "What do you mean no one wants him?" His voice came out harsher than he'd meant it to, but Tidus didn't mind, used to his gruff mannerisms.

"Well, when my friends and me found him, they were all saying how ugly he was and how they'd never want a pet like him. I don't see why. I don't think he's that ugly, and he's a good kitty. I've been holding him for a long time now and he hasn't even tried to get away."

Auron scratched his jaw, accepting this answer well enough. But, "Why do you say no wants you?"

"Huh?" The boy scrunched his face up, like he couldn't fathom why Auron had asked that. "Well, first *he* left and never came back, but I really don't care about him. Then my mom died and left because she missed him and I wasn't good enough. Then after she left, no one wanted to take me. They fought not to."

Auron felt himself stiffen. "How do you know that?"

The boy shrugged indifferently. "I heard them. After mom died and I stayed with her friends for a few days. They fought with each other all the time because none of them wanted me. They actually argued over it, like taking me would be horrible. The way my friends were talking about the cat... that's kinda how they talked about me. I mean, they didn't call me ugly, but..." He shrugged again, hugging the monstrous cat to him a little tighter.

Auron wasn't exactly sure what to say. First off, he was furious that a bunch of adults had allowed a child to hear them talking about such things, and he had a half a mind to go find them and teach them a lesson. More importantly, though, was getting this ridiculous notion of being unwanted out of Tidus' head. It was stupid. "I wanted you, didn't I?" And with that he turned to go back outside, deeming the conversation over.

The blond gave him a sickly sweet smile that didn't seem real. "It's okay, Auron, you don't have to lie. I know you only took me 'cuz you promised."

Instantly, Auron froze, and it felt like his blood froze too. He cocked his head slightly so he could peer back at the little boy who was still smiling forcibly. What had he just said? "Who told you that?"

The smile slowly faded and the boy looked genuinely confused. "You did."

There was a long silence as Auron contemplated kicking himself. He had said that, hadn't he? Not in quite the way the boy was implying, but he'd said it none the less. Right after his mother's funeral, when Auron had told him he'd be taking care of him from now on, he had asked why. And what had the legendary guardian replied? /"It was a promise to Jecht."/ Shit. "Tidus, that's not true."

The boy raised an eyebrow quizically. "You're not here 'cuz you made a promise to *him*?"

Auron exhaled sharply, running a hand roughly through his hair. He really didn't want to talk about this and go through the hassle of explaining everything to a child. Why couldn't the boy just drop it and go along with what he said? "No, I am, but... Look, just take that thing back where you found it, all right?" He turned to go outside again when he heard the whispered, "No." He spun around, his patience wearing thin by now. "What?"

The boy gave him a look of sheer determination, gaze not faltering even under Auron's intense glare. "I said no. I'm keeping him. I don't care if no one wants him, *I* do. He didn't do anything to deserve being treated like a chore or a pain. It's not fair."

Understanding very slowly started to dawn on Auron. This wasn't really about the cat anymore, was it? "Tidus--"

"He doesn't know why no one wants him, but it's not his fault. So how is he supposed to fix it?" Voice steadily rising, tears were streaming down the boy's tan cheeks by now as Auron took a few steps closer. "And if you don't want him, then maybe you should just go away! Because he doesn't need you! So just leave if you don't wanna be around him! Leave like everyone else!"

Auron grabbed the boy's shoulders, dislodging the cat who landed easily on its feet before curling up on the couch a few feet away. Tidus wriggled to get free, but Auron tightened his grip, not about to let him go. "Tidus, I came here *originally* because I wanted to keep a promise to your father. I promised I would look after you and care for you. That's why I *originally* took you after your mother died." He took the boy's face in his hands, wiping the tears away with his thumbs. "Just because I originally took you in because of a promise, doesn't mean I don't want you. If Jecht showed up at the door right now and told me I was free to leave, I wouldn't go anywhere. I would still stay here with you, no matter what. Do you understand?" And that was when he first realized how important Tidus was to him.

The boy stared owlishly like he couldn't believe what he'd just heard. Then, very slowly, his usual cheerful grin found its way back to his face. "That's the most I ever heard you talk."

Auron grunted, relief flooding over him. He thought he'd gotten the hang of this whole parenting thing, but he obviously still had a lot to learn. He didn't even realize Tidus had felt this way and he'd already been with him for six months. His obliviousness could have been disastrous here. He had to more careful. And he would.

A small sound on his right caught his attention, and he turned to see the monster cat stretching and yawning before settling into a more comfortable position, making itself right at home. He sighed. "You know, that cat looks pretty old."

Tidus examined the cat for a moment before nodding. "I know."

"That means it probably won't live too much longer."

Tidus looked at Auron sincerely. "I know, but that's more of a reason to keep him, isn't it? He deserves to at least be happy for however much longer he has left."

The warrior drew back slightly in surprise before offering a small smile and ruffling golden hair. The child was too sweet for his own good, how could anyone ever not want him? "Well then you should probably go to the store. I'm sure it's hungry."

With a squeal of delight, the boy bolted from the houseboat, not even bothering to close the door behind him. Auron sighed again, rubbing his forehead to ease the tension and then locked eyes with the beast on the couch. One amber eye met one golden one as they silently sized the other up. With a resigned grunt, the larger of the two ran rough fingers over the matted fur on the monster's head for just a few seconds and was startled when it instantly started purring, eye half-closing peacefully. Well, maybe this wouldn't be that bad after all.

And later that night as he read on the couch with Tidus asleep against his shoulder and the monster curled up in his lap, he allowed himself a genuine smile, enjoying the comforting weight and warmth from both of their bodies. Not that bad at all.

End Flashback

Now Auron found himself upset at the boy's words. He had been under the impression those thoughts of being unwanted had been put to rest for good. "You know that's not true."

Tidus laughed and shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah, I know, sorry. It's just... you were gone, y'know, and I just thought you had left for good maybe..." He shook his head as if to clear it of all thought. "Sorry, it was just me being stupid. Besides, you're back now, right?"

Auron grunted, feeling suddenly uncomfortable in the overwhelming heat of the inn. He stood briefly, shucking his coat before returning to his original position. Noting that Tidus was still standing, he motioned to the bed for him to sit. The boy just cleared his throat awkwardly, backing away a few steps.

"Thanks, Auron, but I'm gonna get goin'. Gonna see what Yuna's up to... See ya later." He scrambled out the door, slamming it shut behind him before sliding down it to sit on the floor, feeling abhorred with himself. He'd watched Auron take off his coat, a completely normal, everyday thing to do, and he'd gotten excited by it. He'd stared at the rippling muscles, the skin-tight black leather, the chest beneath that leather, imagined running his fingers over it... and he'd gotten an erection. A fucking erection because the man took off his coat! He understood that he was still young and therefore easily excitable, but Yevon!

Still in the room, Auron furrowed his brow at the closed door, wondering why Tidus had run off like that. Oh well, if he'd let himself get worried over every odd thing the boy had done since in his care, he'd have gone insane by now. The more important issue was the old feelings his parting with the boy had surfaced. He hadn't meant to get seperated from Tidus when they were thrown into Spira. Quite the opposite, he'd expected to stay with him and help him out in what was a completely new world for him. But Jecht had obviously had other plans for the boy, it wasn't his fault.

And of course, the brat's first thought when finding Auron gone was that he wasn't wanted anymore. Dammit, why did he have to be so insecure? Just because some people hadn't wanted him in the past didn't mean things were still that way. *I want him. I... really want him...*

Instantly Auron chastised himself, hating his thoughts for where they were straying. That *had not* been what the boy meant, and he knew it. He'd meant it the same way as when he was a child, nothing more. To take a completely innocent statement and turn it sexual- it was disgusting. He was disgusting.

Ever since that evening nearly a year ago when he'd walked in on Tidus with his friend, he couldn't get the boy out of his mind. His dreams constantly featured himself with Tidus doing any number of things, and when he woke up hard and had to take care of it, nothing but thoughts of the blond could truly satisfy him. It took all his self-restraint sometimes not to pin the boy down and fuck him into the ground.

He growled low in his throat, grabbing a fistful of hair. Some guardian he was. If only Jecht could see what he was thinking. He'd asked Auron to look after his son, care for the boy, and this was the result? He would kill him. And Auron would deserve it.

In the hall, Tidus bit his lip hard before getting to his feet and wandering to the lobby, where he was surprised and delighted to find an entire blitz team checking in. This was exactly what he needed. He spent the rest of the evening with them, mostly talking about blitzball, of course. Tidus carefully chatted up each member, finally deciding on three that might be interested, and made his move with practiced ease.

He hadn't slept with anyone since he'd come to Spira, but he knew now that he had to. After all, if he had enough sex he'd stop thinking about Auron, right? So with this in mind he did his best to seduce the three he'd picked out, only having any luck with one of them. Evidently finding a quick lay in Spira would be much harder than in Zanarkand, at least if you were gay. It apparently went against Yevon's teachings. Something about gay couples not being able to reproduce, and they needed lots of babies to keep up Spira's population after Sin constantly ravaged it. Whatever, thank Yevon for hypocrites and sinners, because one of the men Tidus came onto gave way easily enough, following Tidus to his room obediently.

Tidus made up for his lack of partners by going three rounds with the one he did have, actually enjoying himself since the older blitzer was a considerate bedmate. And a skilled one too, despite it being his first time with a guy. Three rounds of amazing sex should keep his mind from lusting after Auron for a while, right? What more could he possibly do?

And though it was disappointing, he couldn't say he was really surprised when he still dreamed of Auron that night. Because he was coming to terms with the fact that what he felt for Auron wasn't just lust. It was much more. Lust would have been taken care of, at least temporarily, with the constant sleeping around he'd been doing the past year and a half. These feelings were always there. And no matter how wrong it was, he just couldn't make these feelings go away. He didn't know how.

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Ratings and reviews make me smile! Read the next chapter for some hardcore yaoi!