The Distance Between You and I

Disclaimer: All characters of FFVIII belong to the talented people of Square-Enix. I have a love and hate relationship with them, why give us such great yaoi parings but never satiate our actual yaoi need?????

AN: Sooo, another late update. What can I say? I am so so sorry but I have a good excuse! Just got the entire set of Fullmetal Alchemist complete with the movie. Had to watch it all within the week and with school stuff piling up…… Right. You got me, another really bad excuse. Anyways, apologies again. Thanks for the reviews all you great people have been leaving for me, hope this chapter is good enough! *chu*

Chapter warning: You got it! A lemon (probably not the one you’re hoping for but the last one of this paring). Please skip if you’re offended.


The Distance Between You and I

Chapter 6


For a man as proud as Seifer, it was a worrying sight to see him holed up in his apartment on a weekend, practically drowning himself in as much alcohol as he could get his hands on. With the ashtray already filled to the brim with cigarette butts, the blonde seriously considered in becoming a fulltime smoker. He was lying on the couch, stretched out on his back. A piece of paper fluttering against his chin. It was same sorry excuse for a note that Squall had left before sneaking out of his life. He really should have expected it to end like this but was he really that repulsive to the brunette? Squall had originally been his ego booster, but not only did the boy fail to boost his ego, he almost got him arrested for statutory rape and then probably kidnapping a minor. So, if Squall had been nothing but trouble, why was he pining after him like some love sick puppy?

He felt like banging his head against the wall, if only to clear the alcoholic buzz. Surely there must be a way to get his proverbial ‘mojo’ back. He wondered if there was some mysterious elixir that would cure him of whatever obsession that had inflicted his mind, but he suspected these feelings whirling around inside had nothing to do with obsession but something else entirely. Hyne, he must be getting senile.

With a groan, Seifer realised there was no more alcohol to be had. He got up from the couch and padded to the bathroom when the phone rang. He winced at the pitch and made a mental note to change it later. The voice over the phone was even more shrill than his ringtone.

-Seify!-

“Rinoa?”

-You haven’t called me in weeks, you terrible man!- Holding the phone away from his ear, Seifer suddenly came to an epiphany.

“Rinoa! What are you up to, babe?”

-Nothing. Don’t you want to see me, Seify? It’s been so lonely without you…” The woman whined loudly. This is just what he needed, it was Rinoa who started all this, so Rinoa would end it.

“Let’s go out. I found a great club, pick you up in an hour?”

-Did you miss me?-

“Sure I did, I’ll see you in an hour?”

-You’re so sweet. Don’t be late, I’m waiting!-

He was going to take Rinoa to Garden. He’d kiss and flirt for all his worth in Squall presence and then he’d break the hold the brunette had over him. After tonight, Seifer would be back to normal, once again worthy of his playboy title.

O---O

With a slight limp, Squall staggered into the backroom of the club. Dallas had caught him again today, after the man had tortured him enough, he’d found himself kneeling in front of the toilet, throwing up the bare minimal he had managed to eat. It was getting worse, not a month ago he had been able to hold back the nausea but the sickness was rising. Even the thought of the sadistic man made him gag and cough. He had to hold on, just for a little longer.

He felt like a thief, having snuck out at the crack of dawn leaving behind two words of thank you. Agreeing to the blonde’s offer had been a mistake on his part, seeing Ellone happy had made him realise that. It was all he had needed to clear his head from delusions of love and relationships. Glancing at the clock on the wall, he noted the shift was almost over. Laguna would be waiting for him outside, probably worried after receiving a fairly cryptic message. Stacking his final load of dirty glassware into the machine, Squall ventured out for a final round. He was craving again.

O---O

The drive to Rinoa’s was uneventful. After a cold shower, a change of clothes, Seifer felt sober enough to make it through a night with the rather clingy girl. He knew he was getting desperate to be rid of these unwanted emotions and using Rinoa was slightly cruel, but it wasn’t as though he’d planned anything different with the girl that fateful night a lifetime ago. The wide wrought-iron gates opened and he pulled up in the mile-long driveway. Tapping his fingers on the wheel for a moment and his cure leaped into the car. She gave him a chaste kiss on his lips and a cuddle, already the dread was building in his stomach. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea after all.

The bouncer of Garden gave him the once over before doing the same thing to his dark haired beauty. Rinoa seemed to shrink next to him and her mouth drop slightly from the look of the place. Seifer didn’t let it bother him and nudged her though the entrance. Zell was behind the bar again and the distinctive figure of the cowboy was slouched over in one the few stool. He found a dingy little corner couch that wasn’t taken and herded the girl into it.

A waitress who’d be fearing for her life near magnets returned with their ordered drinks and he settled in wait for Squall. Soon enough, he saw said brunette bobbing through various tables, picking up stray glasses and ashtray. Not waiting for Rinoa to respond, he pulled her into his lap and took her lips, sweetened by alcohol. She moaned softly into him, gripping his shirt with manicured fingers, but his attention wasn’t on what their lips were doing. Slowly but surely, Squall moved to their table, arms full with two high stacks of tumblers and whatnots. Making sure the brunette was watching, Seifer added more force into their kiss and snaked a hand up the tight skirt.

Time slowed to a stop when their eyes met. Squall stood still watching the display in front of him, unsure as to why he wasn’t moving. Seifer was kissing a woman with long dark hair, groping under her skirt but staring at him. There was pang in his chest and his blood pumped louder than the music. He didn’t understand what was happening, why should he care what the blonde did and who he did it with? But the feeling grew stronger, like the first time a foster father had taken him on the floor of a dirty motel. The same feelings of betrayal gnarled at him, threatening to drop the load in his arms and send his body screaming. But only a hint of the turmoil inside reflected on his face. He shouldn’t care, he told himself, it has nothing to do with you, he repeated. And then, the bubble broke. Squall leaned down, cleaned up the littered table and made a beeline for the backroom.

Seifer watched the boy disappear through his periphery. When he was sure Squall was completely out of sight, he detached himself and dropped Rinoa back beside him. She seemed puffed, blushing and panting, unable to form a word. He didn’t notice anything she did though, the image of Squall was fresh on his mind. The kiss had tasted like dust on his tongue, there was no heat or passion or lust even, just an emptiness that left his head reeling. Grabbing the untouched drink, he downed it in one gulp. He didn’t care about the consequences anymore, he just needed to know what he’s feeling were real.

O---O

“Please…” He pleaded against the soft skin. Taking in mouthfuls at a time, running his lips heatedly over the smooth texture. Squall gripped the shirt tightly, unwilling to let go. He needed it so bad. Release was just beyond his reach, brushing his fingers tips but refusing to come. Laguna was being difficult but it’ll only be a matter of time. He kissed his way up the lightly stubbled jaw and latched onto the lips. Coaxing the teeth apart, before running his tongue through the unyielding mouth. Gradually, he felt a slight shiver and felt goose bumps under his roaming hands. Laguna slowly wrapped him in a warm embrace. Squall pulled them backwards, until his back was flush against the dirty wall and Laguna was kissing him back.

Quickly, he undid the older man’s pants, pulling out the half-erected length. It took only a few strokes before the organ twitched with life and oozing clear beads of liquid. He pulled his own jeans off, letting it hang on one leg and wrapped his free leg around Laguna’s waist. Slyly, he guided the hands down to his pert cheeks and squeezed. Laguna moaned into his mouth. Not bothering to prep the still stinging entrance, Squall wrapped his arms around the thicker neck and pulled himself up using the wall as leverage. More kissing and coaxing later, he slid the molten hardness into his body, sighing as the heat washed away the sting.

At the first thrust, he threw his head back against the wall and looked up into the night sky. The stars were bright and closer than ever, he could touch them if he wanted too. Pluck them out of the clouds to take into himself. They would burn inside him, shunning away the darkness so he may be reborn. His mind began running wild, playing through the same scenarios of a lover. He shut out the green eyes that had stared at him through a veil of raven hair, blocking out the image of Seifer with another woman. He sworn he wouldn’t ever think about the blonde or ever imagine a lover in his head again. Instead, he opened his eyes and stared at the opposite wall of the alley. He was just another cheap whore, exchanging his body for a little sanity in return. He deserved nothing better than a quick fuck against a wall or pressed into dirty asphalt. He could harden himself against the pain, it was gentleness that could break him.

Laguna was getting close, he began clenching his passage knowing the squeezing would drive the man into a frenzy. The steady rhythm broke and became erratic until the long-haired man tensed and released a fountain of heat into him. Squall relished in the heat, keeping the softening organ in place until the liquid cooled and congealed inside. He dropped to his feet, taking the dripping length in hand and licked at the pearly fluid. Laguna reached up with his hand and covered his face in shame, not wanting to watch Squall cleaning him.

“We can’t keep doing this.” He muttered. “You’re killing yourself, Squall.” The boy looked up. Without a word, he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and pulled his jeans back on.

“It’s okay if you can’t see me again.” He replied calmly, giving a rare smile. “You’ve done much more than you had to.” Squall kissed Laguna’s cheek, gently, as you would to a father.

“I won’t abandon you.”

“You didn’t.” A tender kiss to the lips, as you would to a lover. “Goodbye, Laguna.”

Squall launched himself into the darkness of the alley, running as quick as he could and ducked around a corner. He watched with bitter sweetness as Laguna bolted past his hiding spot, then waited until the man walked back slowly with slumped shoulders. He’d heard the frantic calls of his name, echoing through the night. For sis, he repeated with a hand over his mouth.

O---O

Seifer stormed through the top floor of Esthar Technology Holdings until he reached a plaque indicating the office of the president. With security hot on his trail, Seifer flung the doors open. Laguna stood up from behind his table and smiled in greeting. Without a word, the blonde closed the distance between them and felt his fist colliding with the man’s jaw. Behind him, the secretary let out a cry and he was soon seized by building guards twice his size.

“What the fuck have you been doing to him!” He roared, the long haired man looked up startled and confused, holding a hand to his pounding jaw. “I saw the marks, you fucking piece of shit!”

Laguna swallowed the thick lump and gestured for the guards to stand down. Seifer shook the men off him and readied another punch. The older man only sighed sadly and waved for them to be left alone.

“You’re talking about Squall, right?”

“Who else have you fucking up?” Seifer felt his vision tunnel, focusing only on the seemingly calm man in front of him. Tendrils of red flooding through his sight. Never in a million years had he thought Laguna Loire would be the one abusing Squall, until he saw them together. He had decided to chase the brunette and tell him the truth when he saw the man pressing Squall against the wall thrusting in and out of smaller body almost violently. When he watched the brunette getting down onto his knees to lick at the reddened head, he bolted out of the club, leaving his date and then his lunch on the concrete pavement.

Laguna shook his head dejectedly as a sad smile crept onto his face. “I couldn’t save him, so I’m just as guilty as the man who’s been pushing him to his death.” The long-haired man began softly, “I thought if I gave him what he wanted, then Squall would be okay. But it’s getting worse. Every time I see him, there was less of Squall and more of a shadow. He’s giving up because the walls that sustained him are crumbling.”

“Tell me everything you know, Loire.” The blonde growled out.

“What would you do, Seifer? If you knew everything that I do now.” Laguna took a step closer, his soft green eyes red and bright. “Would you be there no matter how much he pushes you away?” Another step. “Could you show him what love is and how right it is when the thread he’s hanging on finally snaps?”

Seifer thought for a brief moment, he could walk away from the whole thing right now without being haunted by guilt. Or he could plunge head first into uncharted waters.

“I’ll be there. Always.”

“If you’re certain about that, then take a seat. This will take a while.”

And it begins, with each word spilling forth, recounting what’s known of Squall Leonhart’s tragic life.

Tbc…