Whispers in the Roses

Whispers in the Roses
Flora Winters
I do not own Final Fantasy VII.
Summary: Vincent wants to put Cloud’s heart back together again, but will Cloud let him. This story will contain boy love, some language, and violence.

Chapter Five

He was angry. Oh, he was pissed the fuck off. How the hell could Zack do this to him? He didn’t want to speak or even think about it. Wrath was just flowing through his veins like acid blue poison.

“You ate my goddamned cherry!” He roared in the black headed stud’s handsome face. “I turn my back for three fucking seconds and you have the fucking nerve to eat my goddamned cherry!”

All eyes in the diner were on the two spiky haired studs and some were even backing away from them…slowly backing away from them. Zack was looking down at his empty dessert plate, snickering something furious.

“Look at me when I’m screaming my damn lungs out at you!” Cloud fumed, smacking the table, rattling everything on it, causing the salt to spill. “You know I always save the cherry for last, Zack!”

Zack looked up at him and his eyes were as blue as the sky outside the large window. He was now First Class and the suit looked really good on him. He looked nice in black. He was pouting and giving him the fucking puppy dog eyes. “But…you know I can’t resist the cherries.”

Cloud grinded his teeth together and sucked in air through his nostrils to calm himself.

“Here,” Zack smiled heavenly, handing him the cherry stem. “I tied it in a knot with my tongue. That’s pretty cool, huh?”

Cloud gazed at the cherry stem in his hand and tears filled his eyes. He was standing all alone in scorched ruins and shattered glass. The sun beamed down through the cracks and it was like he was standing on shimmering gemstones.

He held the cherry stem to his breast, feeling the pain tighten in his trembling chest. It stole the breath from him because it hurt.

He wanted to be empty. He wanted the pain to go away and never come back. Why did everyone he loved have to die? It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair! It wasn’t fucking fair! All he wanted to do was forget. It would be so much easier if he could just forget.

“What did I say, Chocobo Head?” A voice asked, and he spun around, seeing Zack give him a small smile.

Cloud’s bottom lip trembled and he ran at him, striking him on the chest with both his fists. “Why did you have to die?”

Strong arms embraced him and he screamed in agony. The pain was like him taking up a piece of jagged glass and opening up every one of his veins with it.

“Why did you have to go off by yourself?” Cloud screamed, fighting with the ghost, struggling to get free from the loving warmth. “Why didn’t you just stay hidden with me?”

Those arms just squeezed him tightly and gently.

“How could you fucking leave me all alone in the darkness?” He cried, clawing at him, trying to free his arms. “I HATE YOU!”

He collapsed into sobs in the taller man’s arms. The tears were streaming like glistening pearls from his molten blue eyes. He was going insane. That was all there was to it. He wanted to die.

“How could you make me love you so much?” He hissed in pain, knees giving out on him. He just sagged in Zack’s muscular arms. “I love you, Zack! Please, don’t send me back into the rain! I don’t want to go back!”

Zack kissed him under his left eye. “I did it all for you, Cloud.”

Cloud’s face crumpled and he shivered from the pain. “You didn’t have to do anything! All I wanted was you!”

“I couldn’t…I wouldn’t let them take you from me,” Zack cooed. “I had to protect you. You were helpless…I didn’t want to be left alone.”

Cloud trembled. He didn’t want this. It wasn’t Zack’s fault. How could be blame him? How could he have just said all those terrible things to him? It was his fault and nobody else’s. He had been so damn weak. If only he had been stronger.

“I loved you too much,” Zack said, sinking down to the ground with him in his arms. “All I ever wanted was to get you away from all the fighting you hated and protect you…I’m so sorry I failed you…”

“NO!” Cloud screamed, sitting up on his bed, blinded by nauseating dizziness. “It’s not your fault! ZACK!”

He groped in the darkness, hearing a concerned voice, and feeling really strong hands restraining him. He screamed and kicked his legs wildly. Where was he? What was going on? Where was Zack?

“Cloud, you need to calm down!” Vincent yelled, fighting to keep him from hurting himself. “You’re all right! You’re safe, Cloud!”

“Let me go!” He cried, thrashing around, trying to punch the dark shape above him. “I have to save Zack!”

“You’re in Cosmo Canyon, Cloud,” Vincent cooed, pissing Cloud off. He didn’t want to hear this. He didn’t want this reality. It was too fucking painful. “You hit your head.”

“No!” Cloud seethed, struggling to get free even more. “Let me go! Please, let me go, Vincent…”

Vincent put all his weight on him until Cloud was worn out and panting for breath. He gazed down into confused and angry blue orbs.

“I’m sorry,” Vincent apologized, lifting some of his weight off the smaller man. “I was afraid you would injure yourself further.”

Cloud just looked at him and memories came flooding back. Vincent let go of his hand and he felt the bandage that was taped to his pounding forehead. That’s right. He had hit his head on Bugenhagen’s machine when the power had gone out.

“You might have a scar,” Vincent said, slowly getting off him. “But, at least your hair will hide it.”

Cloud closed his eyes. A scar? Zack had a scar. He had gotten it in some fight. All he knew was that it had been with a close friend. He felt like throwing up. He now had his first physical scar…and it was by accident.

“Are you all right?” Vincent asked, looking down at him with those rose red eyes.

Cloud shook his head. “I’m dizzy and my head hurts.”

“Nanaki had the Shaman look you over,” he said. “I’ll get you some water and the medicine she left me.”

Cloud nodded, resting his head back on the fluffy pillow. Why had Vincent been looking at him like that? Had he said something? He couldn’t remember now. He had been mumbling something in that machine and then passed out.

“Hey,” Nanaki said, running in with a bark. “I heard yelling. Are you all right? How are you feeling? You gave me a scare, Cloud.”

Cloud looked away. “I just feel stupid.”

“You scared Vincent even whiter than he already is,” Nanaki said, padding closer. “I didn’t think it was possible to scare the guy.”

Cloud blinked. “I scared him?”

“He’s not left your side once,” he told him.

“Huh?’ Cloud asked, feeling the patch over his forehead. “How long have I been out?”

Nanaki lifted a paw. “Almost thirty-six hours now.”

“Oh,” Cloud said, sitting up. “Now I really need to piss.”

Nanaki chuckled. “Can you stand?”

Cloud nodded, doing so. He only had his blue shorts on and that was fine with him. He had to piss and the release felt great. It made him sigh.

He flushed and washed his hands. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. He was white as a sheet and his eyes were a spooky shade of icy blue.

A knock came at the door. “Cloud?”

It was Vincent and he had his medicine. He dried his hands and walked back out.

“Here,” Vincent said, handing him a tiny green pill and a glass of cool water. “It’ll dull the headache.”

“Thanks,” Cloud told him, popping the pill, and drinking the whole glass of water. He started to walk back towards the bed and the whole room spun on him. He dropped the glass and heard it roll away from him. Why didn’t it break?

“Cloud?” Vincent asked and Nanaki barked.

“I’m fine,” Cloud lied, catching his balance. “I just got a little dizzy, that’s all.”

“Why don’t you sit back down?” Nanaki asked. “Are you hungry for anything?”

Cloud shook his head, setting back down on the bed.

“Are you lying?” Nanaki asked, wagging his tail. “I just heard your stomach growl.”

Cloud blushed. He felt like a child. He seriously thought about calling Nanaki, Mom.

“Something light,” Nanaki smiled warmly with fangs. “I’ll go find some broth.”

Cloud watched him leave and looked right at Vincent. “I’m sorry.”

“What?” Vincent asked in confusion. “Why? What for?”

“You wanted to get away from work,” he said, turning away. “And I…”

Vincent shook his head. “It was an accident. I blame the storm.”

“I’m so fucked up,” Cloud whispered, holding his aching head between his palms. “Maybe I should just go back to my villa and bake myself in the sun.”

Vincent crossed his arms. “You don’t want to come back with me?”

Cloud looked over at him. His eyes were empty, but his voice had held such disappointment. “You still want me to?’

Vincent nodded his head once, causing his dark hair to cascade down around his handsome face. “I would love your company. There would be so much to do and you can enjoy yourself. You might even find a job there.”

Cloud snorted and wished he hadn’t done so. Now his head was really pounding. “I have more than enough money to get by.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Vincent smiled, walking over, sitting down at the bed next to him. “You can find something fun to keep you busy.”

Cloud cocked his head to the side, looking up into those furnace-like eyes. “You want me busy?”

“Cloud?’ Vincent asked, gripping a naked shoulder with golden talons. Cloud’s skin was so white and porcelain smooth. “Are you depressed?”

Cloud’s eyes suddenly widened and then became angry slits. He punched him. He fucking punched him right in the mouth.

“Depressed!” He screamed, leaping to his feet, looking into those shocked crimson eyes. “Am I fucking depressed?”

He suddenly wrapped his arms around himself, backing away from him.

Vincent touched his busted bottom lip, licking at the blood with a red tongue. “Cloud?’

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, trembling with suppressed rage. He wanted to scream even louder and just break everything around him.

What was he doing? He was showing the pain. He was letting someone see him hurting. He felt like a fool. He had just punched a really good friend in the face. Oh, Vincent looked so sexy with blood on his face. He had busted his lip. He was always breaking things.

“Cloud,” Vincent said, calmly spreading his arms. “I’m still here. I’m right here if you want to talk.”

“I blame myself,” he whispered, looking up at the high ceiling. “I blame myself…for everything.”

Vincent went to him.

“I was weak,” he sobbed, still looking up at nothing. “I let him…I watched him die…I couldn’t…and then she…”

He covered his face with his trembling hands, ignoring the pain. It was hard to make words at the moment.

“Come here,” Vincent said, leading him back to the bed.

“I let them both die because I was weak and a fraud,” Cloud said, leaning against him. “I wasn’t strong enough to protect her and be his legacy.”

“You saved the world, Cloud,” Vincent said, having him to lie down on his side. “You’re the reason why future lovers will never have to suffer as you…many did.”

Cloud closed his eyes.

“Zack did what he did because he loved you more than anything else,” he told him, causing Cloud to open his eyes. “He wanted you to be the one to live because he knew he wasn’t strong enough to go on without you. Why do you think he fought so hard to protect you?”

Cloud gasped. “How did you…”

“You dream very loudly,” Vincent whispered. “I’m sorry.”

Cloud swallowed.

“He loved you, Cloud,” Vincent smiled, looking spooky in all his sweetness. “Isn’t that all that really matters?”

He could see Zack grinning like a goofy idiot, holding a knotted cherry stem. He watched him stick it and another stem in his mouth, moving his lips all around like a dying fish. A smile crossed his handsome face and he spat them out into his gloved hand.

“There,” Zack said, handing him two spit covered stems that were knotted together. “Now we’re stuck with each other for forever, Chocobo Head.”

“Yes,” Cloud smiled at him. “Love is all that matters…huh?”

Vincent nodded.

“But,” Cloud said, enchanting smile fading fast. “I still blame myself.”

It didn’t matter what Vincent or the dead said. He would always blame himself for being weak. If only he had taken his training seriously.

Vincent reached out to wipe a falling tear away and stopped. Nanaki was at the door.

“I have chicken soup…with chicken.”

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The water was washing away the tear stains on his face and he could hear the drums in his ears. They were like the lightning heralding in the thunder. Each beat was a tree being split down the center by a divine blast of scorching heat.

He turned around, being careful with his bandage, holding his hair back under the spray. It ran down his back, trickling down his marble white chest. No matter how hot he turned the water, the heat wouldn’t reach his bones. He opened his mouth to the beat of the song that was bubbling through his veins.

Did you ever know that you’re my hero?
You’re everything I wish I could be
I could fly higher than an eagle
For you are the wind beneath my wings

He opened his eyes. He felt so bad. He had punched his friend in the mouth. Why had he done that? How could he have lost control like that? Was he really losing his mind?

He got out, got dried, put his clothes on, and made his way down through the candlelit darkness to Vincent’s room. He gently knocked on the door and the lock unlatched a few seconds later. He looked up into crimson eyes.

“Cloud?”

“I don’t want to be alone,” he said, looking deeper into those red infernos. “Can I stay with you?”

Vincent opened the door wide and Cloud walked in, closing it behind him.

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Vincent watched the smaller man sleep on his bed. The two of them had played cards and Cloud had apologized forty-two times for busting his lip.

He would let him sleep a little while longer and then help him pack his things. The hotel at the Gold Saucer could wait. He wanted to memorize every inch of Cloud’s sleeping form. He was such a beautiful, shattered creature.

TBC…

Please review and tell me what you think. I’m sorry it has taken me so long to post. Classes have started once more. Let us now praise the gods in all their fickle wickedness.

Flora.

Note: Song lyrics belong to Bette Midler, but I like hearing Barbara Streisand sing it, too.