CatMa

Disclaimer: I have no rights over The final Fantasy Characters nor is the script I based off mine either. The script used was acquired off the net from Movie script site.


Catma
By Sailor Poison
based off Dogma script

Chapter 6


There is an dimly lit underground garage. All is quiet, till a door is kicked open. Zack walks into the garage, followed by Sephiroth.

Zack, “an’tan’t believe Kiros is on earth!”

Sephiroth, “ I was there. I saw him.”

Zack, “Then that chic really is the Last Scion?”

Sephiroth leans on a wall, “ Correct.”

Zack is fighting off panic, “Oh shit... That is a bad thing! What if they were right?! What if something bad happens?”

Sephiroth sits limp on the ground and stares off into space, “It is their fault.”

Zack stops in his tracks, “ What did you say?”

Sephiroth, “ It is all their fault.”

Zack,tle tle worried, “Are you okay?”

Sephiroth, “ It is ahe hhe humans’ fault. It is us against humanity. Us against those meat dolls.”

Zack, “ You’re starting to scare me, Seph.”

Sephiroth, “I am fine. Even better then fine. I had an epiphany!”

Zack, “ What? That sounds like some kind or brain disease.”

Sephiroth, “When the Scion accidentally told me her mission, I suddenly understood the big picture. Everything fell into place.”

Zack, “ What the fuck are you talking about?!”

Sephiroth, “Once upon a time, there was only god and the angels. Then one day he created Adam and Eve. We were created to serve him. Humans were given free will. They had the choice to serve or ignore him. They chose to ignore him. Eday day we have been stuck here, we have been denied his love. It hurt me worse then any wound was cap of. of. I know under all the jokes you are also in pain. We have no choice but to feel pain because we have no free will.”

Zack frowns, “ Seph, maybe you’re just tired.”

Sephiroth, “ Zack, you are missing my point. He loves those humans more then he ever loved us. They were given the best and they threw it away. Yet, humans are favored above us. The humans are why hell went down the shit hole. “ Sephiroth looks Zack in the eyes, “I asked you to give up being Angel of Debecabecause I felt sorry for them. What was our reward? We were exiled for all existence. As they say, no good deed goes unpunished. ” He smiles , “ I say we are done playing nice. Time to go back. But we have to kill our would be executers.”

Zack looks at him in alarm, “ Whoa! You want to kill the Last Scion? Even if we did, I don’t want to kill Cid and Silent Vincent! They’re one of the few humans I actually like.”

Sephiroth, “ My dear Zack, don’t make my mistake and let sympathy cloud your judgment. Last Scion is only a mere human. Besides, ouns wns will be forgiven once we pass through the church doors.”

Zack, “I don’t know... “

Sephiroth, “ Well, if we kill alot of people, I am sure he won’t notice her fall during the slaughter.”

Zack snorts and sarcastically says, “ Oh yeah, that makes fucking sense. You sound as crazy as the Morning Star!”

Sephiroth slams Zack into a pillar, “I am going home. I don’t care what happens. Existence can be fucked for all I care.” lets him gone, “ Coming?” as he walks out.

Zack looks at his friend with wide eyes, “ Shit... “ and follows his friend out.

~~~~~

The heroes sit around the fire. Kiros is carefully feeding the fire. Tifa sits in thought. Cid is busy rolling joints. Silent Vincent is reading a newspaper, on the cover is an article about John Doe Jersey.

T “Wh “Why did we have to ditch the train? The angels were left far behind.”

Kiros, “ You never want to be where your enemies can find you.”

Tifa, “ When did we become enemies? Why did he try to gut me?”

Cid, “He only tried to cut ya throat open. To gut someone, you need to have the knife stomach level.”

Tifa, “ Fuck the details. That doesn’t answer my question!”

Kiros, “They think you were sent to kill them.”

Tifa, “I wasn’t told to kill them. Juts stop them from entering a church.”

Kiros, “How do you plan to do that? Play Tetra Masters with them?”

Tifa, “I never killed anyone before! I don’t want to start now.”

Cid, “ Give me a job and I’ll do it.”

Kiros, “Shut the hell up, little shithead. You don;t have a clue how to kill an angel!”

Cid, “I say anything can die.”

Kiros, “How do you plan to kill them?”

Cid, “I’ll go die hard on their asses! You see movimovies?”

Kiros rolls his eyes and turns back to Tifa, “ To kill an angel is hard but possible. First, you remove their wings. That will make them both humans. Then you can kill them anyway you want.”

Tifa, “ You almost make it sound easy.”

Kiros to Cid, “Problem is, they are very strong. Too strong. I think someone powerful is protecting them. Maybe giving them some power.”

Tifa sighs, “ So we’re all fucked. Can we go home now?”

Kiros, “Just cause it looks bad , doesn’t mean it is hopeless.”

Tifa, “ You have got to be kidding me! You tell me they are unstoppable and you expect me to want to go after them? I am tired, both physically and mentally. I just want to sit back and enjoy my remaining time before existence goes bye bye.”

Cid, “Fuck it, Lets all die.”

Kiros, “ What?”

Cid, “ When I die, everyone else is gonna go on having a good ol time. But if we all die at once then I know I ain’t gonna miss shit.”

Tifa, “That made sense. Creepy.”

Kiros, “You want her to throw in the towel because you want to have sex with her.”

Cid, “ That is a fucking lie! I just want me and Silent Vincent to get laid.”

Tifa, “ Why me? Why not someone else?!”

Cid, “ Cause you got a body that just won’t quit!”

Tifa, “ I was talking to Kiros! “ Looks at Kiros, “Why did it have to be me? Of all the people in the planet, why did you have to tap me?”

Kiros shrugs, “Cause of Family Ties.”

Cid, “ And people thought that show was just another sitcom.”

Kiros snaps at Cid, “ Shut up, ya dumb cracker.” Then looks at Tifa, “You recall the Apocryphal Books?” Tifa shakes her head no. “The major Biblical shit came from the dead sea scrolls. An ancient text found in some cave written in sanskrit. In the scrolls, they found shit that conflicted with what church has been saying for years. So they called did some editing and leapt out some important passages. The books made up what we call ‘The Apocrypha.’ “

Tifa, “ How does that relate top me.”

Kiros, “They butchered the real deal. They removed all the goos shit, making it all boring and sterile. It talks about the Creation, the whole old testament, and the history of Christ. But forget the whole Black angle for the moment.”

Cid, “ We would if you would stop bringing it up.”

Kiros smacks Cid upside the head. Silent Bob has to hold Cid back before he can jump up and try to kick shit out of Kiros. Kiros is oblivious to this.

Kiros, “In the bible, he went from twelve to thirty. They left out a whole text of his struggle to accept his divine fate. “

Tifa, “What do you mean? I thought somethinge the that would give people a better understanding of God. It should have stayed in.”

Kiros, “ Because of his family ties.”

Tifa, “ His parents?”

Kiros, “ Nope, his brothers and sisters.”

Tifa blinks, “Whoa, wait a minute. Jesus was an only child. Mary was a Virgin so she couldn’t of had other kids.”

Kiros, “She gave birth to Christ a virgin. But she was married to a flesh and blood man. You think he would want to have sex sooner or later with his wife? Trust me, Mary didn’t stay a virgin all her life.”

Tifa, “ They had sex?!”

Kiros, “From what I was told, they had it often. Jesus used to hear them through the walls as a kid. But you want to know why you were tapped? Because once upon a time, Christ saved the work. Right now you are the closest thing to Christ we have.”

Tifa, “I am?”

Kiros, “ You share some chromosomes with Jesus Christ.” hand on her shoulder, “ You are his Great grand niece.”

Tifa just looks at him in shock.

Cid takes a hit on his joint, “Damn.. that is heavy shit” Looks at Silent Vincent, “ Reminds me of when Tidus was told Sin was his pops.”

Kiros, “I just wish I knew what our next step will be.”

They all hear Reno say, “ You must go to Zanarkan and face Sin.”

They all look and see Reno leaning against a tree.

Reno smirks, “That game did kick ass.”

Kiros, “The voice of God.”

Reno sarcastically, “ The Apostle.” and sits down with them.

Tifa, out out time you showed up! Where were you when that psychopath held a knife to my throat?”

Reno, “ I left you in care of these people. Beside, you weren’t killed, were you?”

Kiros, “ Why are you here?”

Reno, “I was lonely. Besides I have a confession.”

Cid, “Whoa, who the hell is this?”

Kiros, “ He is Reno, the Metatron and the voice of God. Give the brother some respect.”

Cid, “Just his voice? Where the fuck did rest of God go?”

Reno chuckles dryly, “Now that you mention it... We don’t know.”

Tifa, “Pass that by me again.”

Reno, “You never wondered why God hasn’t stepped in to stop Sephiroth and Zack when he could do it on a heartbeat?”

Kiros, “I was wondering about that. Then why was Tifa tapped?”

Reno, “ You know those little breaks he takes?”

Tifa, “Breaks?”

Kiros, “God like Blitz Ball.”

Reno growls, “ Go and destroy the mysticism around God! God assumes a human form and watches the matches. Doesn’t tell us where he goes but never stays away for too long. I think he has taken special interest in one of the players.”

Tifa, “ But she never came home huh?”

Reno, “ You talked to the fucking Muse, huh? No, She has not come back. We are unable to find her.”

Kiros, “What if she was killed?”

Reno, “Not that simple. Someone is fucking us all over. They not only set those idiot angels on their way but has kept them well hidden and is responsibly got God’s absence. If God was killed in human form, he would have went straight back to heaven. Someone is keeping his body alive but incapacitated. God is trapped in his body.”

Kiros, “ So God might not be dead.. “

Cid, “ But only Brain dead? That bites!”

Reno, “ We might be all powerful, but we need God to tell us when to scratch our asses. We sent out everyone looking for him. I had to tap Tifa because I was hoping the culprit would come out of hiding. He sent lackeys instead.”

Kiros, “ Think Lucifer did this?”

Reno, “In hell, they are oblivious to the situation. I think Lucifer would want to stop them as much as we do if he knew what Sephiroth and Zack’s return will cause.”

Kiros, “Who sent the Turk Triplets and Heidegger on our asses?”

Reno, “Anyone can summon a demon.”

Cid, “ Oh really?”

Silent Vincent shows Cid an article in the newspaper. Cid gets distracted by it and reads.

Tifa, “Please, don’t get Cid started. You tapped me as a test?”

Reno, “ No, you said that. I just didn’t push it because you were in too much shock. Besides you wouldn’t have believed me if I told you we were about to put God’s face on a milk carton.”

Kiros, “So what now?”

Reno, “ Grab some beers and enjoy, cause I haven’t a fucking clue.”

Cid looks up from his reading, “ We can talk to this church dude.”

Reno, “ Excuse me?”

Cid hands them paper, “ The guy in the article. Some Rufus fellow.”

Tifa reads it, “ Rufus gets pounded for New Campaign.”

Cid, “ That is the guy in charge of the church celebration!”

Tifa reads out, “ Cardinal Rufus is being questioned for the new ‘ Final Fantasy - Catholicism ‘ campaign. When asked for the radical changes, like adding Olympic sized pools under perish floors he responded ‘For a holy pool party of course.’”
, “M, “Maybe we can get him to cancel this or even delay it. Then the boys can walk through all day and not get blessed!”

Reno, “Good god, that is a great idea.”

Tifa, “ I think they have a poi But But can we explain this to him without sounding crazy?”

Reno, “ We? I guess that means you are back on the team?”

Tifa smiles, “Its a family thing.”

Reno smirks, “ About time you prophets did something useful.”

Silent Vincent gives a solemn nod. Cid is too busy staring at Tifa’s breasts, until she back hands him.

~~~~

Two children in alter boy clothes sift though their cereal bored.

Palon with a sigh, “The old boring cereal.”

A cheesy Cartoonist ist floats above them. His Tattoo and Blond hair that like the new statue Cardinal Rufus revealed at the church.

Christ, “ Though shall not be burdened with dull cereal!”

Palon and Porom, “ Its our Savior, Jesus Christ!”

Christ, “Try my new cereal, Hostie-O’s”

The cereal is magical turned into the new cereal. It has shapes of the Christ and the apostles. Then the milk is added.

Christ, “Hostie-O’s are fortified with blessed vitamins and minerals. Each blessed with an angel’s kiss od frosting that always stays crisp.”

Christ rests his hands on the children;s shoulders as they eat the cereal.

Christ, “Breakfast is very important for a good Christian. Each box is blessed by a high ranking priest. Good for your body and your soul. But make sure you confe bef before hand... “

Porom grabs his stomach and doubles over in pain, “ I I masturbated to my sister’s picture. I’m sorry!”

Christ smiles, “ I forgive you.”

Porom sits up straight, as the pain was gone and goes back to eating.

Christ, “try new Hostie-O’s. But you don;t have to just take my word for it.”

Cartoon Pope Braska appears out of the box eating a bowl of cereal.

Pope Braska, “ They e die divine!”

This was just a mere commercial playing on a Television set. The Television is switched off by Cardinal Rufus.

Rufus smiles at the heroes, “ What do you think?”

Cid with interest, “Do they come in chocolate flavor? Or come with marshmallows?”

Rufus grabs a putter and begins putting balls into a glass, “I like your thinking! You have vision! We are rolling out the flavors in September. That is when cereals hit huge with kids going back to school and all.”

Tifa, “ It is.. Ummm.. Interesting.”

Rufus, “ Exactly! We want to start getting the interest of people. We are not just losing followers to Protestants, Baptists, or Mormons. We are losing the faith period. We need to draw them back to the church. Maybe even acquire new flock. Why not start when they are mere children!” Rufus sits back down at his desk to light up a cigarette.

Kiros, “Like the Tobacco industry?”

Rufus sighs, “If only we had their numbers? But we are aiming for the same groups. This is more then just money. This is business of saving souls.”

Cid and Silent Vincent wander off from the group. Along the way Cid has Silent Vincent steal a golf club. Then they wander to the coast rack that holds Cardinal’s Cassock and Miter. Cid nudges Silent Vincent with a mischievous grin.

Tifa, “ I appreciate you showing us this but we have came here on different business. We need to talk about the Rededication at Saint Xu’s Church.”

Rufus blows out perfect smoke rings, “You want to help out?”

Tifa, “We need to ask you to call it off.”

Rufus blinks, “Excuse me?”

Silent Vincent stands by the coat rack. Cid leaps into view with Cassock tied around him like a cape and in a superman pose.

Tifa, “Something terrible will happen if the ceremony takes place.”

Rufus sits back, “ What could possible happen?”

Tifa, “There are two renegade angels who have been stuck on earth.” Rufus kicks Tifa’s chair. “I mean these guys think they are renegade angels stuck on earth.”

Kiros, “See, my Padre.. These boys believe that passing through the archways gets them into heaven. We all know that is crazy. These brothers think it is true.

Silent Vincent watches as the Miter appears slowly from behind at Partition. It moves like a shark fin to and fro in a menacingly way. Silent Vincent smiles and shakes his head.

Rufus, “That is the danger?”

Tifa leans forward, “They are very serious about this delusion. Dangerously so. They might turn violent if nothing happens when they walk through the archway,”

Kiros, “ The boys could blow up, and if they do, they will take down some innocent people. You have to call this off.”

Rufus, “Who sent you? Rabbi Hojo?”

Kiros, “ We were sent by He who is known as I AM!”

Rufus, “ Cute.” Stands up, “ Thanks for coming but I have work to do.”

Kiros shrugs, “ It worked for Moses.”

Tifa, “This is not a joke. These guys are an sitting time bomb. If the ceremony happens... “

Rufus, “ Then the loonies will show up and kill people? I think not. We have the Governor and press showing up. Not even counting major church leaders. I wouldn’t even stop this for God himself.”

Tifa, “ Why says himself? God might be a woman.”

Rufus growls under his breath, “I am sure your brilliant knowledge of bible and god might impress people but I have not the time to argue thus. Please leave my office! I have important matters to attend to.”

Kiros, “I tell you, this ceremony will end in disaster.”

Rufus, “ The catholic church never makes a mistake.”

Kiros, “The consented the free slave trade. “

Tifa, “ Turned their backs on Jews when they were being killed by the nazis.”

Rufus, “We no longer make mistakes.”

Tifa, “ What about tomorrow?”

Rufus’s face starts to turn red. “Tomorrow we are having the ceremony! Am I clear?! I worked to hard to quit a day before because of some crazy idiots who wandered in to play a joke on me. No one! Not you or God HIMself , “empathizes on him, “ will prevent it from being anything but a success.”

Rufus grabs for the Miter shark fun from Cid.

Rufus, “Leave that alone!!”

Cid slowly looks over the partition sheepishly.

~ go to chp 7 ~