All of Us Monsters

Disclaimer:  I don't own SquareEnix or any of their Squaresoft
characters.  I don't own Advent Children, or else I would be rich.  I
don't own Cloud, Fenrir (his bike), Vincent, or any of Cloud's many many many
swords.

Author's Notes:  Tons of spoilers.  For those of you who
have seen the movie, you might understand where this could be coming from. 
I've recieved lots of good words for this on the Livejournal Community acfiction. 
Also, let me know if this chapter is a little too OOC... because it's been a
struggle to edit and keep the same flavor going, the same thoughts moving
forward.

Chapter 7

The following day I was more sore than before (in places that I am currently
loathe to mention here - use your imagination). I rose out of bed alone, dressed
quietly and endeavored to maintain a series of calm breaths that would keep the
pain at bay and my private panic in check. Cloud was missing once again but
strangely, after the previous day's events, I was not over-troubled by it,
content that perhaps he might return.  My pants were cleaned and folded
neatly in the bathroom where I could dress in peace, but it was hardly
supporting evidence that he had cared enough to wash them.  It could have
been Tifa, or anyone.

A speculative frown crossed my features as I stood in front of the mirror,
glowering back at the pale and half-sickly face within it. My hair shined from
cleanliness, brushed neatly back so I wrapped the bandana across my brow. My
cloak covered my mouth and part of my nose when I bent my head; so it was just
my dark, pale red eyes - piercing, callous, and inhuman - flicking here and
there over my chilling, gaunt countenance.

I felt much better now with my clothes, which smelled good and clean and were
warm from sitting next to the heating vent all day. Being naked left me in a
state of panicked vulnerability... and when Cloud pushed me against the sink
that night, commanding every nerve in my being with that voice, that touch, that
mouth... the ambivalent love-hate I felt for the situation sputtered in my heart
like an old moth. I knew only one man who could have done such a thing to me
without remorse. But at least when Cloud had taken charge of my soul, the
existing line between violation and trust was very clear, and Cloud had not
crossed the line into humiliating violation.

That other man who had, however... had been Hojo.

Stupefied by the bullet buried in my flesh and the drugs that felt like they
dissolved my veins from within, Hojo had no qualms about what he might and might
not do to me. He had taken liberties with my cells, with my soul, and the woman
I had loved... and the power he commanded as a scientist in the most prominent
company in the world.

He had taken my body as his, more than once, as an additional perk of
experimentation. Strapped and helpless on a cold metal table, with any number of
injections pouring fire into my flesh, he sneered over me, crushed my body,
raped and laughed as I screamed wordlessly for mercy. He treated me not like a
human but more like an animal, a thing he owned, a disgusting possession he took
sadistic pleasure in seeing destroyed, speck of sanity by precious speck of
sanity.

And when it was over, he would gloat and rub my hair once roughly, painfully,
and say, "See how worthless you are. Nothing you covet is sacred to me,
Valentine.  Hee! Make sure you remember that!"

My eyes hardened at myself in the mirror. They narrowed so slightly but it made
such a profound difference in my cold stare that I looked away. I heard the door
squeal on its hinges and stepped out into the bedroom.

"Vincent!"

Marlene ran into the room, sprinting straight toward my leg. I pivoted. She
landed right against my thigh, her tiny hands grasping my belt, her hair tied
back from her slightly rounded angular face as she tilted her head up at me. She
wore a pale blue dress and a darker blue sweater and long, warm white socks with
her simple tennis shoes.

"I missed you!" she said heartfully. "I heard you were hurt but Tifa and Cloud
wouldn't let me in to see you." Her face transformed into a characteristically
childish, teary-eyed pout.

I rested my hand warmly on the top of her head, almost smiling as she bounced on
the toes of her shoes. The door moved open again quietly. Tifa stepped into the
room and smiled gently at me.

"Glad to see you're better," she said quietly. I avoided her eyes, content to
look through the floral patterned curtains into the daylight beyond. "If you
want, I've got breakfast downstairs. Oh... Cloud left a message. Said he'd be
back tonight, he's got a small delivery to make."

I felt relief, warmed that Cloud would return. Glad to have something else to
look forward to, I bent slightly and reached my hands, mindful of my metal claw,
under Marlene's arms, lifted the girl into my arms. She stiffened but gradually
molded herself to my side, flushing that she should be carried like a baby. I
had forgotten how much she had grown, but she did not complain as I carried her
downstairs after Tifa's swaying half-skirt.

The immaculate bar was not altogether busy, but there were a few people sitting
on the chairs at well-polished tables. The non-smoking facility had clean, fresh
air and the scent of flowers from quaint flower boxes floating in through the
cracked open windows.

I set Marlene gently onto the bar where she swung her shoes energetically, her
eyes following me before looking around at Tifa.  The bartender had almost
instinctually placed herself behind the counter.

"You want eggs, bacon, sausage? There's some hazelnut coffee if you want that,"
she recited, her eyes looking somewhere behind the counter. She leaned forward
slightly, her hand tracing the list. "Bagles, cinnamon-raisin, blueberry and
plain, breakfast crepes, omelettes--"

"A bagel. And some of that coffee, please."

"Sugar and cream, right?"

"Yes."

"Cream cheese or fruit preserves or...?"

I waved my hand. "Choose something."

Red-brown eyes focused hard on me as she turned her face up toward me. I sat
myself onto one fo the stools, hooking my heel onto one of the wooden rungs.
"You sure you're alright?"

I gave her a solemn nod. Tifa spent a few more seconds to scrutinize my
expression in an effort to read it before she turned away with a sigh, defeated
once again.

Marlene was humming softly under her breath. I didn't recognize the song,
tuneless as it was, but it was something to listen to. I leaned my arm on the
bar and closed my eyes, allowing myself the untimely pleasure of feeling hunger
in my stomach for the first time in... well, weeks. While being hungry was also
a slightly nauseating experience, I found it a rare delight, reminding me that
some things that did not change were welcome, common-place occurences.

When Tifa came with coffee, I watched the heat curl and spiral upwards, loathed
that it was probably too hot to drink yet;  my mouth was parched and in
sore need of something cold to drink.  She also set a glass of orange juice
in front of me with a knowing wink.

The bagel came soon after on a white plate with pale blue rose petals circling
the edges. I pulled the two pieces apart and found that Tifa had lathered one
side with cream cheese and the other with strawberry jam. After proper
consideration of the two pieces, I tore off a small piece from the jam side and
chewed it quietly. I looked to my side. Marlene was looking quietly at my bagel
without realizing she was doing so.

I gave her a piece. She smiled joyfully and ate it, as though I'd given her the
cure to Geostigma.

The fourth piece was half-way to my mouth when I slowly lowered it back to the
plate. My soul darkened as the thought of Cloud, his body ravaged by Geostigma,
and Tifa's complete ignorance that it was probably the primary reason that he
kept himself away.  If Cloud had any reason to stay, it would have been to
say good-bye... and from experience, I knew that "good-bye" was not a word in
his personal bank of phrases.

I noted sadly that if Cloud returned, he would only do so to say something to
Tifa. Would he confess the disreputable truth to her? Could he even say it? Or
was he gone now, in hopes that I would lay down the facts to her... that Cloud
and I had become, in short, rampant and passionate lovers?

Marlene touched my sleeve. I lifted my eyes and she frowned at me. "Are you with
Cloud?"

I suppressed a tremble of surprise and horror. Have I become that
transparent?  Is it so obvious, even to her?

"'Cause if you are, would you please look after him for me? He doesn't come by
much anymore... I don't want him to get hurt. Will you?" Her eyes shined
innocently. I berated myself for thinking that she could have known. But it was
a promise I wanted to make, because it was a task she appointed to me and
no other. She could have asked anyone else in the world...

But it was me she supported as Cloud's guardian. Slowly I felt myself nod.

"Promise?"

I offered the piece of bagel to her. "Yes. I promise."

Her smile seemed to radiate the entire room. She ate the piece of bagel in one
bite, her cheeks stuffed to capacity, and threw her arms around my neck without
hesitation. Her affection spurned a spreading heat through me that had nothing
to do with the warmth of the coffee or the food in my stomach, but that somehow
fate had handed me a sign.

* * * * *

After breakfast, Marlene went back into the kitchen to find Tifa. I stood with
creaking knees to stand outside and let the sunlight loosen up my stiff joints.
I did not mind the peace and quiet and I revelled in the steady hum of voices as
the other patrons woke. I considered my promise to Marlene as one I would give
my life to keep... no matter the condition.

Then there was the matter of Tifa. I couldn't tell her. Cloud might be
disappointed, but it would be for the best until... until when?

A rush of possible whens came at me. But then came the liberating sound of a
motorcycle that freed my thoughts. I saw the metallic flash crossing the bridge,
the newness gleaming in the sunlight as I noted with a pleased nod of my head
that he had, indeed, restored the protective chrome of the bike to full
shininess.

When he stopped at the bottom of the steps, he reached behind him and held a
sizable package wrapped in brown paper. He tossed it up at me, and I caught it
with one hand before turning it over and read who it was from. My mouth dropped
open in spite of myself.

'From Cloud Strife, to V. Valentine.'

"What is this...?"

"Just come down here!  I want to see you open it."

"You can see me just fine from down there."

"Trust me. You'll want to come down here to open it." Cloud turned and
dismounted his bike, one leg lifting up and off as he straightened stiffly,
rubbing his shoulder with plain discomfort at his gift. "Call it a... a get well
present."

I pondered this as I descended the steps quietly, my hands feeling the weight
and the shape of the object. It felt soft, but slightly heavy. When I reached
Cloud, he had his arms across his chest, and avoided looking at me regardless of
his hidden smile.

I tore at the brown paper. Two slips of paper fell out. I picked them up,
reading them. They appeared to be a pair of tickets to something. I read the
business sign. I recognized the name, but understanding did not yet reach me
until I stood silent, reading over and noting my name upon one, and Cloud's on
the other.

"The Honey Bee... Inn?" I looked up, my eyes sharpening slightly at him. "What's
this?"

Cloud blushed slightly at my cutting tone. "It was just an idea. I understand if
you don't like it."

"You... do know what kind of place that is, don't you?" I arched a brow, and
Cloud bristled with discomfort.

"No, no! This place is different. It's an expensive place to eat out, sleep in,
you know. I thought you'd appreciate going someplace with a little class." Cloud
shifted toward me, and pointed to the tickets. "Look closer. See? It's a
four-course meal... we'll be sitting in the highest tier, where it's quiet."

I chuckled softly. Someone with sick taste from the old Sector Six apparently
wanted to honor the palace of pleasure from days of yore. I heard the story from
the other women once, but couldn't wheedle out the truth from Cloud.

"I have nothing to wear," I said simply. I placed the tickets into a pocket on
my person, while Cloud sighed heavily with a slight smile.

"Look." He tore the package open further, and I saw a flash of red and black
before I slipped the object free. It seemed to be some cloak, utterly black, and
apparently fit for me.

"I've got the rest in the trunk, all neatly folded."

I ran my hand over the fabric. It was clean,  brand new and smelled like
gasoline but I could remedy that easily. I detected
the holes in the nylon tag where the price had been displayed. Cloud had been
meticulous about that, and I doubted I would ever know how much this affair
cost.  If only he knew it wouldn't have mattered;  his gesture was
unexpected and therefore whole-heartedly welcome.

I looked at the tickets again. The date was set for tomorrow night at seven
sharp. I looked up at Cloud, who was staring at me with such blind intensity
that I was loathe to say anything to upset him.

I folded the cloak and held it close. His eyes brightened. "So you'll go with
me?"

I nodded slowly, and on an impulse, upon catching his scent on the wind as it
blew around us, I stepped close to him and guided him closer by the arm so
tender lips met in a heartbeat of tortured bliss.  Hardly knowing what I
was getting into, I whispered that yes, I would, and I was glad to
join him.