Wrong?

A sudden idea flashed through his alcohol-flooded mind. "Ah, I know! I'll take care of it for you!" And he lunged at Auron's pants, unbuttoning them with practiced ease, wetting his lips to prepare them.

Auron's calloused hand found his forehead, pushing the kneeling boy away frantically. "What the hell are you doing?!"

Tidus blinked up at him innocently, wondering why Auron was nearly shouting at him. "I made you uncomfortable, right? So I'll fix it for you."

"Fix-- *fix it?!*" Auron pushed harder, wondering why the boy wasn't budging. "What in Yevon's name are you talking about?"

Tidus looked up again, except this time the look suggested that Auron might just be stupid. "I'll give you a blowjob of course. Don't worry, you don't have to do anything."

Auron stared in a mixture of horror and elation as Tidus pulled his zipper down, hand gripping his hard-on through nothing but the thin layer of his underwear. His mind was screaming at him to stop the boy, he was drunk, he didn't know what he was doing. But this was his ultimate fantasy come true, how could he possibly stop it? In a half-assed attempt at control, he took a few steps backwards, only to have his back hit the wall. Before he could even blink, Tidus had closed the distance between them again, trapping him where he was, pulling down the hem of his boxers.

"Tidus..."

This wasn't right, Tidus was his charge, he was supposed to be like his son. True, he'd never thought of the boy as a son really, but still, that didn't make this okay.

The blond paused, sensing something was wrong, and smiled up at the older man as if to calm him. "It's okay, Auron, I'm really good at this. If you're worried about me being a guy, just shut your eyes. It won't feel any different than a girl."

Shut his eyes? Why in all of Spira would he want to shut his eyes when the most gorgeous person imaginable was the one kneeling before him? "I don't care that you're a man."

Tidus smirked slightly, yanking Auron's underwear down to free his straining erection. "Good." He took the man's broad member into his hand, stroking his fingers lightly over the surface, staring at it like a child who'd just unwrapped an amazing present Christmas morning. He might have been wasted, but he still registered that this was Auron's cock in his hand. *Auron's*. The amazing legendary guardian Sir Auron, the object of his lust and affection for well over a year. And it was just as magnificent as he'd always imagined. Pale, taut skin pulled tight over ten to eleven inches of thick hardness, coming to a beautiful rosy hue at the head, topped off with the smallest dot of precum leaking out of the slit. Tidus licked his lips again, taking it in with appreciation, not about to let this chance escape him.

Auron shifted slightly, feeling very self-conscious for the first time... well, ever. Never before had anyone scrutinized any part of him like this before, let alone *that* part of him. He suddenly wished he could cover himself and hide from the boy's prying eyes. Why was he staring like that?

Tidus leaned in even closer so he was nearly touching the perfection in front of him. "You're huge," he whispered, his breath ghosting the member, making it twitch in response. Unable to resist any longer, he pressed a soft kiss to the head, tasting the salty precum as it hit his lips, and he smiled when he heard Auron's breath hitch ever so slightly at the action. Pulling back and licking all of the briny substance from his mouth, he asked seductively, "How do you want it?"

"Wh-what?" Shit, had he just *stuttered*?

"Everyone likes it a different way," Tidus continued, running his index finger lightly down the center of the shaft. "Some guys like it slow, some like it fast, some want it to start out slow then get fast. Some like a lot of tongue, some like some teeth, some have tried to strangle me when I grazed my teeth. And most importantly, some like to be in control while some want me to control it." Blue eyes looked up at Auron from under blond bangs, and a tongue seductively swirled around the head of his cock. "How do you like it?"

Auron's mouth felt dry, and it wouldn't have surprised him if his heart had hammered a hole straight through his chest. "That... I... You just... do it however you want."

Tidus' eyebrows raised ever so slightly, and he looked almost amused. "Really? You want me to control it? I would have thought... well, that's not important. Just relax, I'll take care of it."

He licked slowly down the length of the shaft then back up, flicking his tongue over the slit and sucking lightly on the tip before taking more, a little at a time, gauging Auron's reactions. He would figure out himself how the warrior liked it, because he was determined to give him the best head of his life. Anything short was unacceptable.

Auron watched himself disappear inch by inch into Tidus' very hot, wet mouth and bit back a groan, praying to any gods that existed he wasn't just dreaming. He gently raked his fingers through the mop of blond locks, pushing them away from his face and resting his hand on top of the boy's head. Tidus glanced up then, humming his appreciation of the act, and making Auron twitch under the vibrations. "Tidus."

The blond reveled in hearing Auron say his name that way, his deep voice husky and filled with lust, thinking he could now die happy. He took the shaft as far as it went until the head hit the back of his throat, pausing just a moment for effect, and then swallowing, taking in the rest of the length, burying his nose in dark curls. The fingers in his hair tightened spastically and Auron's breath became mildly uneven. *Yevon, he wasn't lying. He really is good at this.*

Tidus brought his mouth back up slowly, torturously, before repeating the action several more times. He knew Auron was enjoying it immensely, could feel it, but something was missing. Something... the older man hadn't hit that pinnacle of enjoyment yet, and Tidus wanted him to, wanted him to be in absolute bliss before coming to orgasm. Pulling his mouth away from Auron's erection, he sucked lightly at the man's balls, mumbling around them, "Whatta you want me to do, Auron?"

"You're doing fine."

The man gasped slightly when the boy nipped at very sensitive skin before replying cockily, "Of course I'm doing fine. I asked what you *wanted*."

There was a long pause as Auron considered how to answer him, fingers tightening further in golden hair, deciding it was best not to let things escalate past where they already were. "Tidus, I don't--"

"You want it rougher, right? And you wanna be the one in control."

Auron's mouth snapped abruptly shut. Was he really that easy to read? "Tidus--"

"If that's what you want, what are you waiting for?"

"Tidus, I don't think--" Another nip, this one a bit harder than the first, shut him up again. He peered down at the blond who he was surprised to see looked almost... insulted. What had he done to upset the brat?

"I'll say it again, Auron, I'm good at this, and I know what I'm doing. I'm also not made of fucking glass, so if there's something you want, please, take it."

Ah, that was the problem. Damn brat. Auron smirked when he realized Tidus was actually pouting, the same way he had as a child when he didn't get what he wanted. He really wanted Auron to do as he pleased, fine. He wouldn't hold back anymore. Pulling the blond locks harshly so Tidus was looking up at him, Auron said, "I didn't think you were incapable. I apologize for the misunderstanding," and roughly thrust himself forcefully into the brat's mouth.

As soon as Tidus felt the head hit the back of his throat, he swallowed, taking the full length and sucking harshly before his head was forcibly pulled back again. Auron started thrusting at a steady rhythm, carefully controlling his speed and grip on the boy's head so as not to hurt him. Tidus was swallowing and sucking exactly when he should, his tongue teasing the shaft even when his mouth was very full. Incapable was the last thing he was, that was for certain.

Tidus would have smiled if his mouth hadn't been so busy. This was what he'd been aiming for. This was the height of Auron's pleasure, his peak of satisfaction, the way he liked it best. This was Auron letting go of all his reservations and just enjoying himself for once. Nothing could have made the blond happier than this.

Judging Auron to be the kind who would like it, he mischievously let his teeth scrape ever so delicately against the hardness as it slid back and forth over his tongue. The result was an immediate growl from the man above him, but not a warning growl. Quite the opposite, it was the kind of growl that encouraged the boy further, and as the end of the cock slid to his lips, he lightly and deftly bit the head, causing the man to falter in his pace momentarily and utter a guttural sound somewhere between a growl and a moan. Inside his mind, Tidus chuckled. He never thought he'd actually get the chance to be the one who made his imperturbable former guardian come undone.

Auron's thrusts sped up a bit as he got slowly closer to his end. A fine sheen of sweat formed on his brow as his breathing got shallower. This was amazing. He'd always wanted to be able to fuck someone's throat like this, and while some high-class prostitutes in Zanarkand had come close, no one had ever been able to accommodate him the way Tidus was. If he tried, he'd always end up choking his partner or something of the like, in which case he'd immediately stop, feeling guilty and unable to continue. But now, the boy was accepting him so easily, taking his full length like it was nothing.

He looked down at the boy, entranced by the sight. His cock, sliding in between the boy's perfect, pink lips. The gorgeous tan face, twisted ever so slightly with eyes screwed shut tight, a drop of moisture at the corner of each. And then the eyes slowly opened, looking back at him. He stared into those impossibly blue orbs, felt like he was drowning in them, and lost himself. With one last thrust and a particularly harsh grunt he came hard down the boy's throat, practically suffocating him.

Choking a bit for the first time that night, Tidus swallowed as much of Auron's seed as he could, the rest dribbling down his chin when he coughed. He normally would have swallowed it all cleanly and blamed his mistake on the fact that the alcohol from earlier had him practically seeing double. Oh well, he wasn't perfect. Besides, he hadn't messed up the actual act itself, just the aftermath. He could live with that.

A gloved hand gently cupped the side of his face, and the towel he had used earlier to clean Auron's pants was wiping away any excess semen and saliva. He blinked dazedly at the man crouching down next to him, wondering when he had moved. Hadn't he been standing with his pants undone a second ago? And why was he swaying? Or was it Tidus himself who was swaying? He groaned. "Auron, I think I'm drunk."

A soft chuckle was followed by a rumbling, "I think you are too," and everything spun violently as he was lifted off the ground. He clutched desperately at the older man's shoulder, terrified he would fall, causing another chuckle from the red-clad man. Red? When had he put his coat back on? Tidus found he didn't really care at the moment and rested his head against Auron's chest, listening to his heartbeat as he was carried back to the room.

He welcomed the feel of soft sheets and a comfortable mattress, sighing contentedly as soon as his head hit the pillow. Everything was spinning a little, but not so much he would get sick or be kept awake. Fingers raked through his hair, pushing it off his damp forehead, and he was mildly surprised when they continued petting him. Was Auron drunk too? He must be. He peeked over at the man sitting next to him in the bed, trying to make out his face in the dark. "Auron..."

A sudden shiver racked his body, and he shut his eyes, willing it away. Shit, maybe he would be sick. *Why* had he forced himself to drink so much?

"Strenuous activity after heavy drinking is never a wise choice," Auron said softly, pulling the covers up to Tidus' chin. "You should sleep."

Sleep? Yeah, sleep sounded good. No, sleep sounded great. But first... "Auron, it was good... right? You liked it?"

Tidus felt the mattress shift and Auron's warmth descended upon him. Lips brushed his cheek in the softest of kisses and Auron murmured in his ear, "Of course I did. Now sleep." And he did just that, a small smile on his face, not knowing that Auron was smiling too as he watched him drift away. He was beautiful.

***

Tidus and Auron were alone in their room, getting ready to join the others. "Auron, I have something to tell you."

The legendary warrior turned his usual slightly bored gaze to the blond, grunting for him to continue.

"I..." He averted his eyes to the floor, unable to look at the man in front of him. "For a while now, I've really liked you. I mean, I think I love you. I wasn't going to say anything, but after last night... Well, I wanted you to know, last night wasn't a drunken mistake for me. I didn't regret it. And I guess I... I guess I kinda hoped maybe you feel the same way too." He took a deep breath and smiled a little to himself. There, it was out in the open, no going back now.

But one look at Auron's face and he wished he could go back. The sneer that curled his lips, the anger in his good eye... why? All he had to do was say he didn't feel the same, Tidus would never mention it again. Why did he have to look like that?

The blond took a step back as the older man took a menacing step forward. "You *like* me, brat? You expect me to have feelings for *you*?"

Tidus' back hit the wall, and he looked around wildly for a means of escape. True terror was coiling in the pit of his stomach, slowly making its way throughout him. This wasn't right. This was too much like...

"You lied to me."

When he looked up, he couldn't tell what he was seeing. "Pell?" But, no, Auron was there too. It was as if Auron and Pell were occupying the same space at the same time, both glaring at him, both approaching him with killer intent. No, this wasn't right.

Hands encircled his neck, choking him, and he couldn't tell whether they were the large, calloused hands of Auron or the smaller but still strong hands of Pell. He clawed at the hands, trying to pry them off, but they wouldn't budge. He couldn't breathe. Everything felt doubled. He didn't know if he was fourteen on his back in an alley or seventeen pressed against the wall of the inn.

"Fucking faggot! I'll show you what happens when you lie to me!"

The hands stopped choking and moved elsewhere. He struggled desperately. Then pain. Tears. Blood. So much pain.

And then Pell was gone, and it was only Auron again, but the pain still stayed. He leaned close to Tidus' ear, whispering harshly, "You expect me to have feelings for you? Why, because you gave me head like a slut?" He chuckled, but it wasn't his normal good-natured rumble. It was softer, sadistic. It was Vin's chuckle, it was the pervert in the woods' chuckle. "Stupid boy. Don't you realize you're just another whore to me? How dare you think I would ever lower myself to you."

No! Why was this happening again? Stop. Please, make it stop. Auron, it hurts... please... Auron.

***

Tidus sat up in bed, gasping desperately for much needed air, his heartrate well above normal. He looked around frantically, trying to take in his surroundings, fists clenched hard in sweaty sheets. A dream. It had just been a dream, he was at the inn, in bed, perfectly fine and unharmed. Auron wasn't even in the room, let alone angry and attacking him. Everything was fine.

That fact, of course, didn't stop the tears from gathering at the corners of his eyes and making slow trails down his tanned face. He knew what happened in dreams wasn't real, normally wasn't even close to real. But that dream had certainly *felt* real. Very real. Hell, part of it *had* been real. It had been a vivid mix of flashbacks from 'the mistake' and... and his biggest fear. His fear of 'the mistake' repeating itself.

Furthermore, he knew why he'd had that specific dream, knew why his subconscious had deemed it necessary. In his drunken stupidity last night he'd actually contemplated telling the man of his affections how he felt. He'd come dangerously close to ruining everything and telling Auron he loved him. Luckily, he'd been so wasted he'd passed out almost immediately after the blowjob, never giving him the chance. He didn't even mind the excruciating pain in his skull right now, deciding it was worth it and thanking its source profusely over and over.

He shivered, imagining what would have happened, or still could happen for that matter, if he ever confessed. He doubted it would physically be the same as in his dream, knowing that Auron and Pell wouldn't use the same methods for revenge, but the words Auron had said to him... those seemed plausible enough. How had his mind managed to trick him last night into thinking Auron might actually reciprocate his feelings? He had drunkenly jumped another man, who was also drunk, given him a blowjob, and thought that because the other man hadn't stopped him he must like him? What the hell could he possibly have been thinking?

Well it didn't matter now. He just had to play it off like it was nothing, just something he did on a regular basis when he drank. Which wasn't entirely untrue, but still... this had meant something *more*... at least to him. He knew Auron didn't feel that way, so he had to pretend. He wasn't going to let go of what he did have with the older man. He didn't know what he would do if Auron ever hated him...

The door opened, and the object of his musings entered, pausing momentarily when he saw the blond sitting up. "You're awake."

Tidus nodded, not trusting himself to speak just yet. He had to make sure he was completely calm and in control before saying a word. He couldn't mess this up.

A gloved hand was suddenly on his face, and he flinched slightly, the dream still uncomfortably fresh in his mind. When he realized Auron was wiping tear tracks off his cheeks, he blushed red and gently pushed the bigger man's hand away. "I'm fine, just had a nightmare. Caught me off guard."

Auron grunted, stepping back to sit on the end of the bed while Tidus made his way slowly to the bathroom, body aching. It seemed like every part of him, every cell in his being, was in pain. He was extremely sore from the rather violent sexual encounter from the night before and had a hangover on top of that, making already painful muscles ache further and adding a pounding headache. One look in the mirror and he saw how pale he was, how disheveled he looked. Opting for a shower, he grimaced as he watched the semen and blood from the previous night wash away and down the drain. He really needed to find a better way to deal with his frustrations.

Exiting the bathroom, lazily toweling off his soaked hair, he took note of Auron watching him closely from his seat still on the bed. Willing himself to stay calm, he casually asked, "So we're gonna get to that Guado-place today, right?"

A grunt. "Guadosalam, yes."

"Cool... When are we leaving?"

"I would imagine as soon as you're done; seeing as everyone else has been up for hours already."

Tidus' eyes widened substantially at that and he mentally cursed. He was holding everybody up? "Why the hell didn't anyone wake me up?!" He flung the towel on the bed and rushed for his boots, trying to get them on too quickly and nearly falling flat on his face. As he hastily tied the laces and stood, he bumped into Auron, who immediately attacked his head with his discarded towel. "Ow, Auron!"

"You never did dry your hair properly."

"Auron, I'm not a little kid!"

"Then you should learn to take better care of yourself."

Tidus pouted. "We don't have time for this anyway. Everyone's waiting on me!"

"Calm down." The towel was finally removed, and Tidus could see the man in front of him peering at him over dark glasses. "It was decided by everyone to let you sleep in. We'll still reach Guadosalam with plenty of time to spare before dark."

The boy's brow furrowed, trying to figure this out. "Let me... why?"

"We felt you earned it."

"Earned...? What?"

"For yesterday."

Yesterday. Oh, the girl, of course. Were they still on about that? "You really didn't need to."

Auron just shrugged and turned to go, stopping when Tidus' hand shot out and grabbed his sleeve. He blinked down at the boy, surprised, and watched as the blond chewed his bottom lip mercilessly. Something had him very anxious, and Auron didn't need three guesses to figure out what.

"Since we're here and the others will wait another minute..." The lip between his teeth started to bleed. "I wanted to apologize... y'know, for last night." He dared a quick glance up at the older man, but his face was impassive and he remained silent. "It... I shouldn't have jumped you like that. I mean, you were drunk and I... Anyway, I'm sorry. It was inappropriate. I'm just so used to it, that's all, so when I accidentally got you hard I reverted to old habits." A nervous laugh escaped him, and he felt himself shake slightly. "Ah, not that I minded, please don't think that's what I'm saying. It was fun. I'm just saying if you wanna forget anything ever happened, that's fine with me. I won't ever bring it up again." He forced a smile but at the same time couldn't look at his former guardian. He knew if he did he'd start to cry, partially from fear brought on by the dream and partially because it hurt to say those words. It hurt a lot more than he'd expected.

He felt a little better when Auron, face as expressionless as ever, said in his normal detached voice, "No need to apologize. It was unexpected, but I enjoyed myself. It was just a simple act of sex, nothing more. It's nothing to get worked up about, and there's no reason to pretend it never happened."

Tidus was surprised you couldn't hear his heart breaking. /"It was just a simple act of sex, nothing more."/ He'd been prepared for the words, but nothing could compare to actually hearing them.

He forced another laugh, scratching the back of his head uncomfortably. "Okay then, good. Glad to see you're not really such a stiff." He clapped the older man on the arm amicably and said, "C'mon then, the others are waitin' on us," before hurtling out the door to the lobby and scooping Yuna up in a playful hug. Auron wasn't angry, he wasn't disgusted, everything was fine then, right? He viewed the whole thing exactly as Tidus had hoped he would, a meaningless blowjob from a drunk whore. That was what Tidus had wanted, right? It wasn't like he had ever expected anything to come out of it. He knew this would happen. So then... why did his chest hurt so much?