In My Field of Flowers

Disclaimer: I do NOT own ANY Final Fantasy VIII characters, though I wished.

Rated: R/for now

!WARNINGS! A classic Mary-Sue fic! If you don't like girls mysteriously finding their way in the world of Final Fantasy VIII then, I suggest you leave as quickly as possible.

YOU: I usually don't post if I don't get Feed Back. It just proves that this fiction wasn't worthy enough to be put on here. So, if you like it, be sure to post a review, even if it is to tell me to UPDATE. I like being pushed.

Summary: Seventeen year old Lisa Cardaci, spends her birthday in Japan to meet with Executive Producer, Hironobu Sakaguchi. What does that have to do with her winding up outside of Balamb a week before all conflicts?


In this world all of our sins are simple
We choose death over innocent life
And in this world it's not our money that's evil
It's the one's who choose it over life
And in my heart I cannot believe in this murder
And I will not be fed by the lies
Or the life that's created just to be murdered
It's murder
And they can't see
The innocent lives
The pointless suffering
And in my heart I wanna undo all this murder
And give back their innocent life
Open cages and stop their luxurious murder
It's murder
No matter how hard they try and
No matter how high they climb up the ladder
They won't reach up into heaven
No matter how hard they try and
No matter how loud they cry
They can't
Buy their way into heaven


SilverWolverina: OMGosh, I know. I find Irvine VERY attractive. Those legs do make me feel giddy, delicously long, long, deliciously, long long legs. I really do appreciate you reviewing. I seriously didn't think that people liked this. THANK YOU, GIRL! I updated really quickly, see! It was the inspiration.

To Kishana: I REALLY DO WISH THAT I CAN POST THOSE PICTURES UP!!!!


Chapter Nine: Act On Impulse PRT2-Realty's Cruel Joke

I took a break away from the wheel, taking the time to search around the car for something, anything. Fuel or a map. Any of those would be great. I popped open the trunk and got out of the car.

There wasn't much except for; pillows, blankets, a tire, and a weird looking stick. I picked it up, running my fingers over the soft surface, finding a button on it's side. It was like one of those movies, where the girl clicks the button and something insane happens, like a secret door will be revealed.

My better judgment, my ass. I clicked the round 'death-trap' and watched a blade jut out from the top. Oh. My. God. I rested my hand over my heart, trying to slow it down. It's a sword? The metal is was drew me in the most. How can something so deadly be so smooth, so soft, so beautiful? I guess that's how it goes right? I looked at Squall for a second. Pft.

I laughed at myself, twisting and winding my hand in various ballets. "This is some Sephy-sama shit."

I could actually hear my mom's stern voice in my head, telling me to put it down. You might hurt someone, she'd say. You better not break anything, or else I'll have to buy it. A red to her cheeks and an instinctive smile. Did you notice the smell, too? I think that all moms' have this home smell, along with the house, but isn't it, because moms' makes it smell that way?

Even now, that I'm seventeen, she'd still baby me. I guess that's what I didn't like about her, the fact that she refuses to let me cross the street or chop the onions for supper. I wanted to grow up, eager to learn how to take care of myself. She was teaching me, but I'd be so mad at her for it. And what happens if this is the end, if I stay here forever?

The very last thing I said to her was: "Don't cry, you know I'll be back, soon. I'll be okay, don't worry about me, Mom. I love you and I'll call you when I land."

Again, I twirled the blade, effortlessly cutting off a few branches, trying to vent. It's hard just to let go of everything. Let me rephrase that, it's hard to just let go of my world. What are they doing now, my parents? Probably sitting at their mini tables in the living-room, eating dinner, or watching their TV shows.

The blade went back down, I was too upset to practice anymore. Back to my search, I looked in the little compartment in the front seat, and found three bottles of fuel and a map. Praise this person, may that person find happiness.

I grabbed the pillows and blanket from the back, giving Squall's head something comfortable to support on, and some warmth. Who knows what the Ice crystal's did to his body, mine was still shaking. Jesus, he looks so relaxed.

A plush look on his face, slightly pink from the cold. It almost looked vibrant, like it would on a child, so natural against alabaster skin. Strikingly sharp features, he looked above seventeen, a gap for twenty. The sweat had straightened his hair to his face, sweeping across his eyes. Bothering me, I swept it away.

It was sin. He'd never allow me to do that if he was awake. I was too caught up to care, too caught up. The warmth, the life, some-how he was real. The texture of his skin, of his hair, of his chapped lips, it's real. I never thought I'd get to touch a dream-Reality had to be laughing me. I was part of her cruel joke.

I moved back up into the front seat and started to look over the map. I had drove forward, never turning, afraid to get lost. I unfolded the messy papers, sure that I had dropped at least four pages. We should probably be somewhere near Timber. Which isn't safe, thanks to the Galbadian Soldiers.

I turned the car around, heading towards Desert Prison.

Lord, help me, he was starting to wake up. I pretend not to notice and concentrate on the map. I could actually hear the shift of his leather, which kind of made me want to laugh, stupidly. He stretches, arching his back, up slightly. Why does he have to hurt himself? if it's not the pants, then it has to be the three belts on his leg, which was probably cutting off his circulation.

He was silent at first, a bit taken back. I guess he was trying to catch up with the scenery and who he's with. Oh, he must be thrilled to see me! He crawled up into the front seat, alert, and wide awake. Just my luck. "Now, before you jump and cast another sleep on me, is it alright if I ask you a few questions?"

I blushed, feverishly. "You were in pain, I wanted you to relax."

Squall throws me a look, making me feel a little uneasy and a lot smaller. I'm not sure of what kind of look that was. He's going to kill me. "Or maybe you were scared of what I would think of this-situation. After all, you did tackle me off of a float."

My mouth was a gap in disbelief. "To get you out of there, safely!"

"Don't argue with me. I told you to stay put-"

I cut him off, on the verge of snapping, and when he tried to shut me up, that just about did it. "Shut up, can you do that? just shut the fuck up. Now, we're going to Desert Prison to save your friends. I'd tell you the rest, but you, being the uptight, 'I can do it myself, Squall Leonhart', doesn't want to know about it. So, fuck trying to make this easy on you. I'm sick of listening to what you want. I'm telling you what we need to do."

He sits back in his seat, a look of aggravation on his face. Good, let him be aggravated, let him feel how I've been feeling. Sulk. "I found a weapon in the trunk, I think I'll be able to use it. I'm just a little scared."

"Scared," he muses. "Why would you be scared to help those who've help you? If it's the killing you don't like, then I suggest you don't come with me."

I kept my eyes on the gravel ahead of us, not sure if I wanted to say anything, but then again, I'm a walking mouth. "I've just never killed a person before. Back home, it's a sin and trust me, you will not be forgiven."

"Is there a punishment?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "...I won't go to Heaven. Aren't our religions alike?"

"So-I won't be..." he trails off, ignoring my question. "I don't believe that. I'm sure Hyne would want the planet distinguished of all evils and in a way, it's what I do."

I laughed. "My mom would be so disappointed in me. If I was in Hell, she'd manage find her way down there to kick my ass."

"You had a family?" he asks, in curious tone. A tone that made me want to spill my guts.

"I had a mother and a father. I don't know if I should count my little sister, she didn't make it out of the delivery room." I met his eyes for a second, a bit of remorse shown, and it almost hurt me to see him like that. "I didn't really get to see her, only for a second, and it's better if I don't have a memory of her at all. There's really nothing there to miss."

"I'm sorry."

I shrugged, trying to act like it was nothing. "It's was a long time ago."

A few minutes of silence passed, before he positioned himself so he was sitting against the door. I wanted to tell him that it was dangerous, but didn't want him to get moody with me. "I had a dream-I don't know what it means."

Probably something about Laguna. "What was it about?"

He cleared his throat, staring at me, blankly. Was he thinking? He shut his eyes, running his hand through his rebellious hair. "I was searching for something-someone I care about. I think that person was dead. Everything was dead."

Why would Squall be having a dream that he was the the one running? isn't Rinoa the one who had that dream and tells him about it when their looking over the field? I was driving myself mad just thinking about it. He had waited until death just to keep his promise to her.

"Your Heaven," I said, dully. She's going to find you, with that stupid fairy tale aroma, and the sky is going to open up to you, to welcome you back to the world. "Maybe it was your Heaven."

"It was dead," he whispered, a loose breath escaping his pale lips. "All of it."

"Dead, but there was once life, and it will be restored," I promised. "You'll see."

Changing the subject, he searched the floor. "Let me see your weapon."

"It's on the floor, kind of looks like a stick," I said, more softly. "It's probably by your foot. Don't aim the top at me, a blade shoots out."

I study him for a second, his blue-gray eyes go over the metal, even his fingertips. "It's a good sword, shame you won't be using it."

The last part was incoherent, but I shrugged it off. It was probably along the lines of, 'shame I didn't see it, before'. Hell yes, it's a great sword.

-

"Alright, I have a plan," I started. "They must be on the middle floors, somewhere. We should probably-"

"Stay here."

"What? are we still on this subject? I'm coming with you." I looked at him, catching his eye. "Squall, I'm coming with you."

"Put fuel in the car, we're going to need it, probably," he says, pointedly. "If I see you in this building, I am going to personally drag you out of it."

I rolled my eyes, at him. "I've been warned"

"You've been promised."

I sunk back in the seat, disappointed for about the eightieth time. Squall takes out his gun blade, before glaring at me. "It's safe."

But you'll go and take Rinoa around and she's a Princess. It's okay, I'll be joining you soon, and maybe it won't be so bad if I don't get caught. I slyly look left and right, declaring that it was clear. My hands fumble with the seat belt.

Where are you stick thing! I pushed the button, exposing the blade, and ran to the entrance. It's time to grow up and fight. I'd be helping if I do this and I do want to help. Is it just me or is this a little spooky? I get the same eerie feeling with dentist offices' or the hospitals'.

I had managed to dodge most of the monsters, slipping past them, or just completely running. When it came to the GIM47Ns', I sicked Quezacotl on them, who I'm probably going to marry sometime-for saving my ass twenty times in the past ten minutes.

"Miss, I can't let you go any further." The guard turned the safety off, making his gun that more vulnerable. "Put your hands on your head and accept your defeat, and I will not harm you."

"I need to-" I looked to his gun, then at my sword, contemplating what I was going to do. "My friends need me, you have them here. Let them go and I promise I will not harm YOU."

"I wish I could, but the consequences of that would be worser than death," he holds up his gun. "I don't want to do this, lady."

My blade wasn't quipped, anymore. This was different, I had actually engaged a conversation with this guy. It's not a monster, it's a human being. I held up my arms for the emphasis, and replied, sincerely. "Neither do I. So, put your gun down."

"I'm sorry, but I have to!" he growled, taking out a pair of cuffs from his utility belt. A waver to his walk, like he was new and this was his first time ever hand-cuffing someone.

"I don't get down like that. Sleep!"

He grips my arm, harshly. Why hadn't it worked? Curse Squall for taking all the effective magics away. "Miss-"

"Let go of me!" I pushed at him, but nothing availed. The metal clicks around my left wrist and I quickly turn away.

My heart pounded, as my anxiety grew more defined. Lisa, you have to do something. I couldn't think and before I knew what was happening, the blade had dispatched, and disappeared into his chest.

Immobile and dislocated, I felt as dead he did. The pain, the heartache, the rage, and that look of disbelief. I owned it. The look in his eyes and his startling attempts to get the sword out of him.

He reached out to me, grabbing onto the back of my neck. "He...lp."

The man sank down to the floor, pulling me down with him, seems how I was still cuffed. My breathing came, rapidly and I thought I was going to pass out. I didn't know what to do, I had just murdered-Sobs wracked my body, making me shudder, as I hear him gasp out his last breath.

"Please, God, forgive me." I repeated the words, taking out the blade and wiping the blood off with his shirt. His young life stained everywhere; my hands, my face, my clothes, my blade, and all over the floor.

As calmly as possible, I searched his pockets for a chain, finding one with various keys and plastic-cased pictures on it. He would never drink coffee or enjoy the beach, play with his kids, or fix something around the house. Kiss his wife, show his kids to school, or pack their lunches. I stole away their father's, her husband's life.

I unlocked the barrier, sobbing into my hands, despite the bitter scent of blood, that must have smeared on my lips. I held onto myself and the very first thing that came to mind was his children. The little black suit and dress, black for how their father was. Dead and black inside. Empty, life-less, useless, just a skin.

"I'm s-sorry!"

The familiar burn of bile came up in my throat and I gagged out the contents, feeling my stomach wrench in pain. How could I do this? He didn't want to kill me, he wasn't going to. I killed him. Lisa, think, rationally. Nothing worked on him, your only objective was to kill him. How many of those guys did I kill in the video game?

It was only a video game. It's only a game.

"Squall!" I started to yell out for him, desperately wanting him here. I searched around my shirt, finding the necklace that I wore, heavily against my heart. "Squall, please!"

A gloved hand, squeezes my arm, reassuringly. Squall? I got up from the ground and clung to him, feeling myself finally let go. He can take this away. My idol, my hero, Squall, please. I needed his bravery, needed his protection. I needed protection from myself.

"Hello, love."

I froze, becoming completely still. "N-no!"

"Look at the mess you made," Seifer tisked, jerking my body closer to him, hitting one of my injuries, I grit my teeth with sharp intakes of breath. "Didn't think you had it in you."

-

R&R