A Door Between Worlds

"Oh planet, give me the patience."

Aerith sighed again, though more out of amusement than frustration or being tired. Cloud was still so...Cloud-like. There really was no other way of explaining it. Everything he did had to have a purpose. She was beginning to wonder if he had a set procedure for taking a leak. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate that he was taking this seriously, unlike Cid, it was just that he took EVERYTHING seriously. It wasn't as though a smile or even, GASP, a laugh every now and then would kill him. But best of luck trying to convince him of that. To make it worse, he seemed to assume that her return meant his taking up the mantle of bodyguard again. She imagined that if any bodyguard had lost the one they were to protect, then had another chance, they would be this ridiculously protective. But it did make things a nuisance sometimes. The only times she had been out of his sight in days was when she bathed, and even then he was as close as he could discreetly remain. With every passing moment, she was growing more concerned for him. She was going to die again, she knew it. It was her purpose. She didn't ask to be an ancient, and there were plenty of others who could do the job better. But it wasn't their job to do. Cloud would die for her without hesitation, but it wasn't his destiny to. At least, she hoped it wasn't.

Aerith looked at Tifa. She had decided to walk in front, as a scout would. She hadn't volunteered to, and he hadn't asked her to, but she did nonetheless. Aerith knew this had to be killing her. She again marveled at Tifa's strength of will. Who did she have to talk to about it? Who did she release her penned up pain, fear, and frustration to? Cloud was to busy saving everything around him to notice, and he would brush aside her concerns, which would make them worse. He thought he had a strong will, to. But it was just blind stubbornness. More than that, it was fear. He was just as afraid of losing Tifa, but for another reason, the wrong reason. She was his safety blanket, his only tie to his past. She made him believe it would all stay the same, when none of it was, or ever would be again. He knew she loved him, he had to. But he brushed that aside as well. Aerith wondered if he even realized that, in his own way, he was just as bad as Sephiroth had ever been. Blindly following ones self chosen purpose without regard to the feelings of those closest to you. Isn't that exactly what Cloud hated most about Sephiroth, why he still hated him so? Sephiroth had been cleaning up Cloud's mess since he had been back, comforting and encouraging Tifa. Even now, he was watching over her, while still giving her space. Aerith envied her that. Space didn't seem like much until someone was always in yours.

In truth, Aerith knew she had something that the rest didn't have, probably never would have. She had talked with Sephiroth for all of this time, without the taint of war, or Jenova, on him. He was everything a mother hoped her daughter would find. He was refined, considerate, and incredibly perceptive. He could feel when something was wrong. Aerith imagined that was why he had been so successful in SOLDIER, he could anticipate and adapt. He was probably a masterful leader, as well. He would inspire confidence and loyalty.

But not anymore.

Could Cloud survive it? Could any of them, even Tifa? He had to carry the tremendous weight of his former life, a life he couldn't control. He was a monster to them, to everyone who had been there. He always would be. Even if it proved to be his fate to die with her, saving the planet, he would still be reviled, his motives still questioned. When the story was told, he would be left out, to make it believable. His very name was a cuss word now, synonymous with evil and death. Yet still he carried on. Vincent was strong, but his 'sins' had kept him lost in self loathing for years, hidden away in a box. Only the chance to undo them had drawn him out. But what could Sephiroth undo? What penance could he pay to regain trust and appreciation? NOTHING! His was an uncleansable stain. Which was more evil, more damaging? To be wronged, to have everything taken from you? Or to carry the poison of being unable to forgive in your soul, tainting everything light and beautiful that comes after. Tifa had a good heart. So did Cloud, though his was eternally in doubt and confusion, something he had no right to blame on Sephiroth. And Sephiroth tried so hard to be forgiven. He took on sins that weren't his, and payed for them, one agonizing day at a time.

Aerith looked up from her thoughts to see Cloud looking at something other than her. She followed his line of sight, and saw the ladder leading to the entrance to Cosmo Canyon.

They had arrived.

As she neared the top, with Tifa above her, and Cloud, naturally, behind her, Aerith heard Nanaki's voice, mingled with that of another.

A woman's voice.

The One.

Aerith knew to keep her expectations simple, but she was still surprised when she saw her. Quistis was young. Very young. But then, it wasn't as though Aerith was an old maid. She was pretty young, and she had been far more so when she had been called on to do much the same thing this girl was doing. Just the same, she was still so young.

Aerith found herself doubting. She had hoped for a wise elder, someone who could answer her questions, and ask some of her own. Someone who had walked life's road for a while, and knew its pitfalls a bit better. But she wasn't going to find it.

Next to Quistis was another girl, also young. Aerith hadn't been expecting another. How did that work. Only their kind could travel such a distance. Was she another, like Aerith and the One?

Aerith looked back at Quistis, and finally noticed it. She was talking to Vincent, and there was a look in her eyes. It wasn't the look of an innocent girl, or a starstruck traveler. It was a look beyond her years, a look as solemn as Vincents. If anything, it was Vincent who looked off his guard and confused. Aerith wondered what they had been talking about, and how long they had been taking about it. It couldn't have been to juicy, as Nanaki was standing right there. But he was also curious to watch. He seemed...amused. While she was sure he was happy to be home, it was something more. He was amused by what was happening with the conversation.

What were they saying?

"...perhaps we were wrong."

This last statement had been Vincent's, and it had been spoken in anger. He was upset. But Vincent didn't get upset.

"We were? Or you were?"

Quistis was also not happy, it seemed. So why was Nanaki so pleased?

Before Vincent could answer, he saw the rest of the group approaching, and took a step back. Whatever they had been talking about would have to wait.

-----

Cloud wandered along, keeping Aerith in his sight. She was tired of the constant surveillance, he knew that much. He wished he could explain it was for her own good, her protection, but she wouldn't listen. Just as she did all those years before, Aerith shunned the cautious path. She was to ready, in his opinion, to throw her life away. Who had decided she was meant to die? The Planet? Was the planet a sentient force, capable of such a decision? She seemed to think it was, but he had his doubt's. Who, or what, would require that sacrifice from her again? She had paid he dues. She even accepted without reservation that this latest mess was somehow her fault. That by saving the planet, she had endangered it as well. That seemed like a load of bull to Cloud, but he kept his peace, as always. He had grown accustomed to being misunderstood. And now it was not only Aerith, it was Tifa as well. She had always understood him. That was why she was still here, right? But she had gone and fought for the sword. The very sword he killed Aerith with, and almost killed her with. How could she? Was she hoping he would do it again, was this her way of getting Aerith out of the picture again? Because he wouldn't allow it. Sephiroth was a bomb waiting to go off. But this time he would be ready. He had to make sure Sephiroth didn't get that sword. In a way, Cloud had to begrudgingly admit that it was better for Tifa to have the sword than Dio. He was a man-whore who would give it up for any price. At least now it was safe, away from him. But was it? Tifa didn't shun Sephiroth the way she had before, the way they both had. He was getting to her, slowly working his way. Sephiroth had never been the subtle type, but a good soldier learns from past mistakes, and doesn't repeat them. And Cloud's mistake had been to allow Aerith to leave them, to listen to her naively think she knew what was best for her, for them all. He would protect her this time. He wouldn't force her, it was still her life. He wouldn't control her, that was Sephiroth's way, and she would just resent him for it. He genuinely wanted to give her more space, but when he did, Sephiroth was close. He just couldn't be trusted. Aerith would see that in time. And this time, it wouldn't cost her life. To the planet, or that monster.

Cloud watched Tifa work at the front of the group, Sephiroth not far behind. Not far enough behind, anyway. Cloud worried about Tifa. She wasn't taking this well, and she wouldn't talk to him about it, like she used to. They didn't keep secrets from each other, they never had. She knew him better than anyone else ever could. So why now? Why did she keep things from him, why did she defy him just to spite. It wasn't like he had forbidden her to get the sword, he just didn't see the point in it, couldn't see what offset the threat of Dio to get it. He knew she was a capable fighter, but so was Dio. He made a living off of being the best, a life off of it. He trained constantly. So, yes, Cloud had worried, and yes, he had been unwilling to see her get pounded. He couldn't have risked Aerith being seen in Gold Saucer, in any case. And she was his priority now, not the spoiled little girl who went out of her way to get into a fight she couldn't win. The fact she had won was sheer luck, nothing more. From what he heard Vincent say about it, she had used her...assets to distract him, and had gotten her limit break at the right moment. It was luck, not the will of the planet. He hadn't wanted her to lose, especially with what Dio might have done to her, but her winning did complicate things without purpose. She resented his not being there to see, but how could he? She just didn't understand, none of them did. That's what it kept coming back to.

Cloud shook out of his thoughts in time to see the ladder leading up to Cosmo Canyon. Tifa took the lead, without asking, and Aerith followed. Cloud made sure he was right behind her, knowing Sephiroth would try to be, given the chance.

As they got to the top, he saw Nanaki, Vincent and a pair of girls talking. Things seemed to be a little heated, and he made his way over before things got ugly. Vincent was more mad than Cloud had ever seen him, unless it had concerned Lucrecia somehow. Why? What had this girl said to him? She had to be the 'One' they had come all this way to see, and he wasn't impressed. She couldn't have been older than early twenties, at best. This was going to be interesting, and not in a good way.

And why was Nanaki so happy? He looked on the verge of a giggle fit.

"...didn't ask for any of this, or your help, either."

"Than perhaps the dream was misinterpreted, perhaps we were wrong."

"We were? Or you were?"

This was getting worse by the second, so Cloud spoke up.

-----

Yuffie traveled in the rear. She had been a bit distressed when Vincent had come out of his room looking like he had seen a ghost. Like he didn't have enough of those chasing him. Then he had gone with Nanaki, and he had given her a disapproving glance when she was about to go with him. He must have needed to talk to Nanaki, without her. So it must have been about her. But what would it be? He had been quiet on the trip from Gold Saucer. Not that it was unusual for him, but it didn't make talking about things any easier. All she could get out of him was that Tifa had flashed the goods for Dio so she could kick his ass. Yuffie smiled at that. Tifa had always been her hero, as far as fighting was concerned. She used whatever was at her disposal to win, she didn't worry about how it looked. She got what she wanted, unless that something was what mattered most. That was part of what was distressing Yuffie. If Tifa couldn't find a way to get Cloud, what chance did she have with Vince? They were so mismatched, after all. But opposites attract, don't they? She wondered for the thousandth time why she had fallen for him, of all people. With the exception of Cid, (shudder), Vincent was the most unlikely for her to see that way.

Okay, so Cid and Nanaki.

She did have standards.

From the back of the group, she could see everything. It was sad, in a funny way. Or funny, in a sad way. Cloud was watching Aerith, who was watching Sephiroth, who was watching Tifa, who wasn't watching anything. They were a walking bill for a therapist. It wasn't that she didn't have her reasons to hate old Sephy, but he didn't seem like the same demented...whatever he had been before.

And Vincent trusted him. He didn't trust anyone. Did he trust her, Yuffie wondered. Did he love her? Could he love her? It wasn't even about Lucrecia now, he seemed to have kind of dealt with that issue for now. It was just that he was so distant all of the time. His strength was in being a lone wolf, going full bore in battle. Was she a weakness to him, something that would hold him back in that moment? She didn't want to be. But she also didn't want to lose him.

The truth was cold sometimes. Yuffie had loved in her life, but she had never been in love with anyone. It was always the creepy ones who chased her, or her falling for someone who didn't, or couldn't, love her back. Her mother was gone, her father might as well be. He had hoped she would marry. But not for love, for politics, for Wutai. She had always been a bargaining chip for him. He had initially been against her training as a ninja, saying a good wife didn't need it, she needed to know her place in the home. He had even tried to convince her that a woman's place in that home was as important as the mans place outside of it. It was the way of things.

It was destiny.

But she had trained anyway, first in secret, then later with his begrudging approval. If she was going to be trained, she should be the best, as it would be an asset to someone important. That was her father, making the best of any situation. But she had surpassed even his expectations, then defied them outright by refusing to marry a rich ass twice her age. His eggs had all been in her basket, as it were, and he didn't take the rejection well. She wasn't banished from Wutai, per se. But going back was going to be interesting.

Unless she had a husband.

Her father would be upset at first. Vincent brought no power of state, no large purse. But he had Wutai in his blood, so it would be acceptable, in time. And who knows, maybe she would make a head of state out of Vinny yet. Crazier things had happened.

But would he marry her? Could he? And what about him being, like, twice her age himself? He didn't age, she did. That would be noticed by even the dumbest around her in time.

Then Yuffie almost came to a stop. What about children? Could he even have them? After everything Hojo had done to him, was it even possible? And if he did, they would grow, and pass him in age, as far as appearance was concerned. In time, he would look like their child. He would outlive them, and their children after them.

He would outlive her.

She didn't know what to think about it all. It would be nothing but problems, and that was assuming they got through this latest mess. He had told her he could die in battle, but it wasn't like he knew that from experience. He had often said that Hojo had killed him, and then brought him back, but she always thought it gave Hojo too much credit. He didn't have that power, or he would have used it again on his wife. Or would he? He had never loved her, it had always been about producing a child. Yuffie had once asked Vincent if he and Lucrecia had ever...known each other like that, if the possibility existed that Sephiroth was his son, but he said it wasn't possible, that she had never let him get that close. That brought on another point.

Vincent hadn't gotten any in a LONG time.

Just because Yuffie couldn't find love didn't mean by any stretch that she was a virgin. She had been with more than she cared to recall, even with Rude, (double shudder), so she knew about sex. She was confident that he had the requisite parts for the job. And he had been a Turk, so there was no way he hadn't been getting some along the way. They would never have allowed it. Turks were womanizers, it was in the job description. It added to their mystique, or so they had always thought. To her, it just made them perverts. But the point of it was, he had to know how and when, he just hadn't for a few ages. As in, longer than she had been alive, ages.

So he would be rusty.

Very rusty.

That made it better, in a way. She could actually teach him something, for a change. The little girl trains the big, bad vampire. Not that he was, but it made the thought cooler, somehow.

She just wished he had not gone off with Red. Okay, she corrected, with Nanaki. It had been years since he had been called by the cruel moniker Hojo had assigned him, and she was sure it wasn't one he cared to recall. But it was all she called him for the longest time. And habits die hard. Anyway, she wished Vincent was here to talk with. Or, in his case, to talk at. It made her feel better. It just wasn't the same bugging Cid, or Barret. They weren't a challenge. Maybe that's what had drawn her to Vincent. He would always be a challenge. he would always test her, try her, and, in the end, she would be better for it. Whether he loved her or not, he trained her without even doing it on purpose, always refining her skills, and her manners. It never made him a jerk, like it did Cid, because he didn't do it to irritate her, or because it irritated him. He did it because...he cared.

He always had.

Yuffie loved Vincent because he had cared about her first. He hadn't even known he was doing it, but it was still genuinely him. She knew she was protected when he was around, even when she couldn't see him. Isn't that what love is? She had always been confident in her own abilities, sometimes to much so. But then, if she hadn't been, they would never have met, and she would still be a thief in that forest. For all her confidence, there was a feeling in knowing he had her back. It didn't just feel safe, it felt right, it felt complete. Together, they were invincible. Without him, she was incomplete.

'No', she decided, 'I'm not his weakness. I am his strength, and he is mine. I am his Tifa, and he is my Cloud. I will be strong, for him. And someday, I will not only love him, I will make love to him.'

Having thought this, she put the matter aside and wondered if they were lost. Not that spike would admit if they were. But then she saw the ladder. They were here, and not a moment to soon, in her not so humble opinion. She could have made the journey in less time. And she would have been off sooner to take it.

Stupid Cloud.

As she got to the top, last in line, she noticed that Cloud was hurrying over to where she now saw Vincent talking with someone.

Not someone. With her. It had to be. But she wasn't the old, crusty woman she was supposed to be. She was young and...not ugly. Yuffie had never been the jealous type. But this was the one who had sent him into the stream. He had taken her hand, had looked so serene doing it. Then Chaos had come out. That's what she did to him. Yuffie knew it was childish to think that way, that it had been what it had been to get him there, to get Aerith back. And Sephiroth. But it didn't make her any happier.

At least he seemed to be arguing with her.

"We were wrong? Or you were?"

'Watch who you're takin shots at, sister. He's had worse than you for target practice.'

And what the hell was Nanaki smiling about?

-----

Sephiroth made his way along, at an easy stride. He knew Cloud was watching him, when he spared a moment away from Aerith, but it didn't concern him. He had known Cloud would not let it go, and he couldn't really blame him for it. He was not as ready to push aside his role in all of this, as Aerith did. He had been there, and whether he had control or not, it had all been him doing it. He had looked into the eyes of those he was slaughtering, seen the fear and the hatred. He had heard the insanity of his own words, had felt the helplessness that he had caused so many others to feel. He had always wondered if he could have fought it more, tried harder. His long discussions with Aerith in the Lifestream hadn't cured him of that. He had wanted to stay. It seemed cowardly, but he still felt his presence here was more of a hindrance than a help. They would never consider him one of them, even for the duration of the mission. He would be the outcast, the last to be healed, and the first to be castigated if he failed to help one of them, and mistrusted when he did. They respected his prowess in battle. But that was as much a part of the problem. Every swing of his sword reminded them of it. In a way, it was best that he wasn't using Masamune. It might be to much for them.

And Tifa still needed it.

When Aerith had told him about her dream, it had scared him. Not the dream they all knew about, the one she had shortly after they returned, before Gold Saucer. It was why he had pressed Cloud to retrieve the sword, knowing he wouldn't. Because he knew she would. He had sounded convincing in his surprise, but it had been an act. Because Aerith had seen it all, why she had to get the sword, and what she would do with it. It was the only way, Aerith had said. The only way she would understand. He knew she was right, but still it haunted him. To allow her such pain was hard for him. To have to relive that, when he knew Cloud would be to distracted to help her, and her couldn't do so, was more difficult. She had known such pain already, it almost defined her. And it shouldn't. She was so strong, and yet so fragile.

Sephiroth had no illusions about what was happening. He was not the delusional fool that Cloud was.

He was falling for her.

The timing couldn't have been worse. Oh, sure, it could be considered the perfect time, with Cloud on mission: redemption, lost in Aerith once more. But it would have been dishonest, unfair, to take advantage of the situation. It had been so easy to let her almost kiss him, but it had felt so wrong, even as it felt so right. He had always had a certain animal magnetism. Women just gravitated toward him. It was the confidence, the sophistication, the respect and courtesy he had shown. Not from Hojo. He had learned little of value from him. It had been Aerith who had brought out the refinement in him again. She had been so quick to forgive, to wash away what had been. Why couldn't it be that easy for all of them? He knew why. Because they had been left behind. Dieing for something was always so much easier than living for the same thing, to carry on when others were gone. It tested willpower and loyalty. It tested emotions and nerves. But most of all, it was a mental test, self doubt and emptiness. Even the 'ever after' in 'happily ever after' was far more difficult than the stories ever told you. When love was tested not by another, but by time, by the truths about each other you didn't see at first. It started with bad habits, escalated with different views,and exploded with different plans for the future. That's why that part of the fairy tale gets left out. Because it ruins the story.

Reality tends to do that.

Sephiroth didn't consider himself a bitter, or cynical, person. He tended to believe in the best of what was within. But it was the blindness of difference that caused one to lose sight of the beauties of the similarities. You had to learn to appreciate that what made you different could compliment as well as separate.

In truth, Cloud had been attracted to Aerith because she possessed all he lacked, all he wanted to find in himself. A belief in others goodness, a loving compassion for those who suffered, and an inability to hold a grudge. He saw her innocence as a weakness, but in his soul, he saw it as a strength, her light a contrast to his darkness. Tifa failed to similarly captivate him because she was, ironically, to much like him. She, like him, was pragmatic, and less trusting. She kept her guard up, as he did. And she suffered in silence, as he did. He made her wait because he knew she would. It was a cruel abuse, but he would never see it as such. He always had a sense of urgency with Aerith, afraid that in the next moment, she would be gone again. But he was looking so hard, he couldn't see. He couldn't see Tifa losing faith. He couldn't see Aerith trying to tie up loose ends. He couldn't see the damage he was doing, in the name of his self righteous purpose.

Still Sephiroth didn't look back. He didn't need to. Cloud was as predictable as the sunrise. It's what made him weak, and also strong. There was much to be said for consistency. But not blind stubbornness. Not zealot like devotion to a misguided ideal, noble though it may be. One thing Aerith had taught him was that everything was connected. No decision was made without influencing another, and, in turn, all of them. What we decide today dictates the choices of tomorrow. Cloud would never have allowed Tifa to retrieve Masamune if he knew what she would do with it. But if he stopped her, it would change everything, possibly even threatening the planet itself. By protecting someone, we are shielding them from pain, and from experience, all at once. They can't learn, and can't pass on the knowledge. This was not to say that he was a fan of pain, or of fighting. The greatest warriors were those who had seen enough of battle to know that it fed on itself. You can't kill hatred, you can't eradicate emptiness, or fear, with a sword. Some warriors teach others to make more efficient war. Others teach how to find peace, how to take the higher path. The former tend to be those we listen to. Where do we devote the most energy, if not to refining how efficient we are at this game, this contest of blood and steel. It was war that had drawn him back to this world, to be hated, and to be tempted. He could not love, he must not. It would make everything so much worse. But to see a heart break in front of him was a fight he didn't know how to win. His will was strong, but her pain was stronger, no matter how she tried to hide it. He would listen. But the line between listening and comforting was dangerously thin, and the price to be paid was not negotiable.

So she would suffer, in silence.

Cloud would allow it, even cause it, in ignorance and blindness.

And Sephiroth would watch it, helpless again, in frustration.

Because it had to be that way. The planet had decided that. The actors didn't write the script, they just played their part as best they were able.

They arrived at a ladder, which he presumed led to the town. He wanted to follow Tifa up, but it wouldn't be prudent. Predictably, Cloud was close behind Aerith, a scowl thrown his way. He sighed, and followed them up.

When he reached the top, he could see an increasingly heated discussion between Vincent and, what he presumed was, the One. He was uncertain what had caused Vincent's anger, but it was uncharacteristic of him. Of course, he had seemed distressed this morning, and it could be a follow up of that.

"Than perhaps the dream was misinterpreted, perhaps we were wrong."

"We were? Or you were?"

As Cloud moved forward to settle the dispute, Sephiroth noticed that the girls companion seemed very nervous. He wondered if she was from the town, or if she had somehow followed this Quistis in her journey here. He wasn't sure how it would be possible, but there was much about the universe he would never know.

Curiously, Nanaki didn't seem distressed by this altercation. He seemed almost...jovial?

-----

"Fuckin kids"

Cid wasn't happy. He was on his last pack, and they seemed to be more lost by the minute. The dipshit Cloud couldn't find his dick to screw with unless he had directions. And Cid was about to drown in the drama playing out around him.

Most of the party thought that Cid was mostly oblivious to what was going on. He had cultivated this impression, as it kept him out of the mess, for the most part. But he wasn't blind.

Sephiroth was makin a play for Tifa's goods

Aerith was getting pissed at how they were all treatin Seph

Cloud was a fuckin robot, following Aerith like a virgin.

Yuffie had lost her mind completely. Not that he minded the silence from her direction, but the kid had spunk, and now she was goin soft for, of all nutjobs, Vincent.

At least he didn't have to wonder who Barret or Red was wantin to screw. Not that he cared.

It was like one of those pathetic soap opera's that Shera liked so much. He never had gotten that about her. But she put up with his crap, so he gave her the same courtesy. Then, when it got to bad, he told her he was goin camping with the team. It was 'bout the only time he ever saw hide or hair of them anymore.

Then some asshole decides to threaten the planet again, and it all gets shot to hell.

What in the bloody hell were they doing out here, anyway? What was so important about gettin to Cosmo Canyon?

And who the fuck was this 'One' everyone kept takin about?

Cid cussed, as he looked into his pack. Two left. What the....

Right about then, they arrived at the ladder. He let all of the pussies go first, didn't want to get involved. He was one of the last ones up, with only the kid tailin him. He hoped she liked the view on the way up.

At the top, he saw that Vincent was gettin pissy with some young thing, with Red lookin on like it was his fuckin birthday, or something.

'What's he so damn pleased about'

Vincent mentioned something about them being wrong, and Cid thought it was the truest thing he had heard all day. This was all fucked up. And it wasn't going to get any better.

That tourist trap had better have some smokes, or he might start gettin upset.

-----

"So this is it."

Tifa wasn't the type to be overly dramatic. If anything, she hated people who made more of something than it was. But this was, in fact, it. They were going to get some answers, and the game would start. Not that she considered it a game at all. It was a sick nightmare. She even rated the nightmare by severity.

The planet was in danger. Bad

Aerith was back. Very bad.

Sephiroth was back. Extremely Bad.

As a good guy. Epically bad.

She had almost kissed him.

Her scale didn't have a register for that one.

Why couldn't she let it go? It was Sephiroth doing what he does, trying to play with her head to get what he wants. This line about her needing to do something with the sword proved it. What in Hell's twisted imagination was she supposed to do with it? Was he thinking it would corrupt her, that it would be her who bumped Aerith off this time? Because he was wrong on that count. She would see this through, whatever it took. She would save the oaf who she loved, and if Aerith died in the process, she would spend the rest of eternity not being able to measure up to a ghost. She was good at that.

She'd had lots of practice.

She just couldn't remember being this confused before. She wanted it to be straight forward, to make sense. But it never did. It wasn't that she questioned that this was all one of Sephiroth's tricks. She just didn't understand why he seemed to be targeting her. He had Aerith's confidence. He even seemed to have Vincent sold. Was he going one by one, taking them out with subversion instead of a sword? Why was he being so nice to her? Why was he listening to her, when she didn't want to talk to him? She wanted to doubt him, but he was making it so difficult to do it. He was nothing like she remembered, when she had been a guide for SOLDIER. He had been formal, and polite, but cold. Now he laughed, and even sang, as though he had truly been set free. But she couldn't get the screams out of her head. And she wasn't sure she wanted to. They were a warning of what happens when you let your guard down.

Her guard with Cloud had been low expectations, ones he could easily meet. It was when she expected more of him, that she was hurt. She wanted to believe that it was his competitive nature that made him so protective of Aerith. He had failed her, he thought, and this was a chance to do it over, to do it right. Of course he would be a little paranoid. What if she could undo that day, knowing what she now knew? She would have lead them all over a cliff. Sephiroth would be dead for good. It would take some explaining to Zack, but she could do it. Why did Cloud get another chance with her, but Tifa would never get another chance with her father, with her town. It just wasn't fair. But she expected the world to be unfair. More than that, it was unjust. It defied the rules, it trampled on the right to leave the past where it belonged. Hadn't she paid her dues already? What more did the planet want from her? She felt as though the planet was demanding more than she had to give. When did it end? When would it all truly be over? There had to be an end somewhere.

Tifa looked back for a moment. Not at Cloud, or Aerith, or even Sephiroth. She looked at Yuffie. She knew that Yuffie was dying inside, and wished she knew what to say.

Yuffie had always felt that Aerith was the big sister she never had. But Tifa had been the mother she had lost. She had taught her to use her skills more wisely, to make use of resources she wouldn't have thought to.

Even being a girl.

Tifa was aware that Yuffie didn't have the curves that a man lusted after. But men tended to hesitate when they realized they were fighting a woman. They didn't fight all out, thought they were better. It was a weakness to be exploited, just as she had with Dio. She would never know if she could have beaten him in a fair fight, and she didn't care. Fights weren't supposed to be fair.

Now Yuffie was learning about unrequited love. She was learning about the complications of not getting to choose who makes your heart melt. And she was confused. It was to be expected. Nothing about their lives was normal. The fact Yuffie even knew Vincent, that she even knew of him, was unfathomable. The planet had drawn them together.

Was it cruelty?

Was it fate?

Was it just blind happenstance?

Yuffie acted tough, but Tifa knew there was no defense for this. It wasn't the pain of a blow that could be dodged, or healed away. It was a slow ache, a constant suffering, done in silence. What was she supposed to tell her? To rip out her heart right now? To save herself from years of slavery to her own self made hell? She deserved better than that. But not better than him. Vincent was a good man, and he had a good heart. He would never intentionally hurt her. But he would hurt her. It was inevitable. Whether it was the will of the planet, or the bitterness of reality, it would be. And that made it worse. Sephiroth was easier to hate as a monster. Shinra was easier to fight, faceless and thoughtless, undeserving of remorse, of mercy.

She couldn't understand those who lived as monster trainers. You don't cage and domesticate a monster, you destroy it. You don't allow it to threaten you, or all you love, by bringing into your refuge. Even if you successfully trained a thousand, the one you couldn't break would be your end. Sephiroth couldn't hurt her like he could Aerith, in body and soul. He couldn't betray a trust he didn't have.

But it was a lonely existence.

Tifa wanted to have faith, as Aerith did. She couldn't say that she had paid a higher price, in blood and tears. She just didn't have the ability to believe through it all. She knew Aerith wasn't trying to take Cloud from her. If anything, she was trying to say goodbye already. She had accepted her fate, something Tifa could never do. She was a fighter. Aerith was a healer. Each had a place, and a purpose. Before, it had been Aerith's realm, trying to heal the planet. Now it was hers, to protect it. What was Aerith going to do? And why would it cost her life to do it?

So many questions. And up this canyon was going to be someone with answers. At least, that was the theory.

Tifa wasn't much for theories.

They were at the ladder. She went first, and was surprised when Sephiroth didn't follow, waiting for Aerith. It was just so hard for her to understand him. She wanted to hate him, but she didn't know how much longer she could. She didn't want to trust him, to need him. But she wasn't sure how much longer she couldn't.

At the top of the ladder, she immediately saw Vincent in a discussion with some girl. This couldn't be her, could it? She wouldn't have the answers. She wouldn't even know the questions. And Vincent was clearly not happy with her.

"...what you're looking for."

"Than perhaps the dream was misinterpreted, perhaps we were wrong."

"We were? Or you were?"

'This just keeps getting better'

And why did Nanaki seem to be enjoying this so much?

-----

When I said I would be freeforming, I didn't just mean in what part came next. For most of the story, I have tried to follow a timeline of sorts. It should be obvious that this entire chapter takes places in the brief time it took to get to the town from the airship. It is simply a telling of everyone's perspective along the way. Okay, almost everyone. The part I had for Barret wasn't working, and I don't envision him having more than 1 or 2 meaningful parts in the whole story. It's just hard to find a place in it for him. Cid's perspective was more for comic relief than anything serious. And, yes, I am stereotyping him. So what.

I am trying to have each member of the party have a unique take on all of this. But my own thoughts and perspective on a lot of this is shining through. I'm not trying to make Cloud a bad guy, or Sephiroth a good guy meant to contrast him. Cloud is, in a word, singleminded. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Most of our hero's in history had a similar sense of oneness to a cause they believed in. If Churchill hadn't been stubborn as an ass, we wouldn't be here. Nor would you be to read this. But Sephiroth sees things from a wider view, and he is more perceptive to what Cloud is missing in his devotion. What sacrifices have to be made to get what we want? And what sacrifices do we make unrequired, simply out of fear of change? I'm trying to look at the thought from both sides. I make no apologies for the fact I think Sephiroth is largely misunderstood, and unappreciated.