Umaro's Angst

I don't own these people. Enjoy this touching story.

Umaro was crying while he carved a sculpture from the bones of the latest Moogle he had eaten. Mog continuously kept giving Umaro Moogle corpses to eat so that he'd keep his bodyguard fit. Also, it'd be a good place to hide the evidence so that no one would suspect the Moogle Mafia to be of foul play. Of course, Mog eventually killed off his entire race as a result and had to bang Relm to reproduce, thus creating the superior Moogle race of Final Fantasy Tactics Advance, but that's another story altogether.

At any rate, Umaro was sad. Mog made sure to use glue to make sure Umaro never let go of his Bone Club. Mog also glued on his Snow Muffler, which made Umaro sad. Umaro also never met his parents, and here he was, four years old, being the bodyguard of the Mogfather. Umaro thought ohis his situation and began to cry.

Then he started carving away his bone sculpture.

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Umaro looked outside his hole and saw an airship land in front of Narshe. He sighed, and continued carving bones. An hour or so later, he heard footsteps. Then entered Mog, some green-haired chick with big tits, and two other people (insert your favorite two here, like two more Terras, two Kefkas, or Cloud and Sephiroth so they can fuck each other while the straight people continue). Umaro, filled with rage and angst, decides to go after Mog and destroy him once anr alr all. However, the green-haired chick morphed into some pink thing and cast a huge Fire spell on him. Umaro was hurt pretty bad, so he ate a Green Cherry. Umaro wasn't very bright, you see. The green-haired chick then burned him again, and Umaro gave up.

Mog walked up to Umaro and scolded him. Then Mog sent Umaro crying to the airship. Umaro felt like a slave at that point. He cried some more.

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Umaro looked around the airship, and made note of the people there. The owner, Setzer, refused to even acknowledge the beast, unless Umaro treaded mud or feces on his expensive carpet. There was Sabin, who always punched at stuff. Umaro's gaydar clearly said Sabin was gay, and when Umaro's gaydar says someone's gay, then by Goddesses, they ARE gay.

Shadow just kept to himself. Not even Umaro would gather the courage to enter a conversation with Gogo. Umaro thought Gau was a good guy since they were similar, but Umaro felt he couldn't discuss politics or religion or pornography with him. Strago would just fart and sleep all the time. Relm usually painted her grandfather different colors when Mog wasn't raping her in theine ine room where the engine blocked out her screams of terror.

Then there was Edgar. This guy had a ton of tools, which he used whenever he could to sneak glimpses at the ladies. For instance, Edgar drilled a hole next to the shower so he could watch Terra or Celes shower without them knowing. He also never did reveal to everyone that there was a secret use of the Debilitator in that it let him see through clothes. That silly Edgar.

There were Locke and Celes, who often went around secluded parts of the airship to have sex. Umaro himself had seen them going at it a few times, in the engine room, in Setzer's room, on the giant balloon, on the bottom of the airship, and wherever else. He also often saw Edgar, watching out of sight, masturbating furiously. None of these people really talked to Umaro, however.

Except the green-haired chick, who was named Terra. She felt a common bond with Umaro for some odd reason. They talked about a good many things, often walking through town, happily chatting away at each other while the townspeople fled for their lives from the hulking giant who would tear their limbs off. They truely enjoyed each others' company and were inseperable.

One night, Umaro and Terra were on the hill on Solitary Island, the same hill where Celes tried to kill herself because she didn't feed Cid the right fish and made him die, overlooking the view.

"Oh, Umaro, every moment I spend with you makes me happier and happier," Terra said in a stereotypical fashion.

"Ugh..." Umaro grunted.

Terra looked right into Umaro's eyes, and said, "Umaro, I love you."

Umaro smiled, and said, "Me love you too."

Terra smiled, and they both knew it would be a magical night.

Terra jumped onto Umaro and shoved her tongue right down Umaro's mouth. Umaro countered her tongue by shoving his massive tongue down her throat. Terra started choking for air and moaning with pleasure at the same time. Eventually, Terra backed off for air, in which they both gasped.

Terra winked at Umaro and removed her clothes, leaving her in her green underwear. Umaro blushed, feeling his massive manhood growing inside him. Terra giggled and unzipped his suit, releasing Umaro's massive yard-long penis.

Terra gasped at the size before taking the entire yard down her mouth. She sucked and slobbered on it while Umaro moaned in pleasure. Before he could release his load, Terra backed off. She undid her bra, releasing her giant breasts. Umaro lunged at them, flicking his tongue over her nipples. Terra moaned loudly, shoving her hands down her panties before Umaro pulled them down for her. They made out a bit after that before Umaro lied Terra down on the ground.

Umaro spread Terra's legs apart and slowly shoved his member into her virginity, barely paining Terra as he broke it. Terra moaned as she took the entire three feet into her five foot something body. In fact, Terra could feel the tip of Umaro's penis at her throat, causing Terra to wonder if it's the Esper part of her that made her vagina go up to her throat.

Umaro started pounding into Terra violently, causing Terra to be flung around like a lifeless corpse. The pleasure was too much for Terra, so she orgasmed. As she orgasmed, she glowed, and changed into her Esper form. This only encouraged Umaro, and he pounded into her more rapidly, giving the Esper woman all that she wanted. Eventually, they were both near a climax. Esper Terra released her second climax, causing her vagina to vibrate viciously. This drove Umaro over the edge, and he sprayed his seed all into Terra. Terra gasped from the experience before reverting back to her normal self.

"...That...was wonderful..." Terra sighed before passing out.

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"What shall we name it?" Terra asked, looking into Umaro's eyes contentedly.

"Name it DEAD," Umaro yelled, smashing his Bone Club into Kefka's skull, thus winning the game.

After banging Terra and winning the game, Umaro was happy. No more angst. Hooray!