Parting ways

Parting ways

Disclaimer:

I own no one , forgive me. Cid, Vincent and Chaos belongs to Square-enix , though i have claimed the rights of Turk Vincent. (just kidding....he also belongs to Square-Enix :( ..)

ok well i was all depressed, and i am seriously getting competition now.. i got to write more lol So i came up with this.

awww.. the things i love to do to Vincent...

This actually comes from a theory that was discussed about on a board i go to. Sooner or later , Vincent will lose to CHAOS. made me cry.. still makes me.. and this is the result.

enjoy.... well... err... try to? i mean.. you cant enjoy Vincent being in pain.. and sad.. and all.. but err..

...whatever.... just read. lol

Note from Author: well.. i had to do this to clear out a point: I am french. so therfor , there are ways that i say things that may be wrong in english. I am still learning and i know i'll probably never be an expert at it. So really.. i know about that...

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Chaos, it is called.

For a while, it was almost an alter-ego, another part of me. But recently, it's taking a lot more place then it used to.

It started with a simple voice, then began the morphing every time I was severely injured. But soon, it began to randomly take over me, for no reason. Whether it’s because I am angry, or uncomfortable.

I am losing control over it...

I get up from my seat, setting down the book I was reading, sighing. I can feel it so strongly in me. Clawing at everything I have left of who I really am. I am afraid that whatever i have left, won’t last for long.

I walk to a tall window, looking outside. The moon, the darkness. It's lovely, so calm. Nothing like the battle that is going on inside of me. Nothing like the war that I am having within my own mind. It's my soul, my will, against this beast.

I put my hand on the window, it's so cold. Like outside the house. We are in autumn, where everything goes to a long sleep before winter arrives. But today, even if it is so early, there is faint snow coming down. Not enough to cover the ground, but enough to be noticed.

I see my hand shaking, Chaos is there so strong. It's fighting for control and I know that this will be the last time he will take over me. Somewhere, deep inside of me, I know he won’t allow me back anymore. I won't have enough strength left. He will be there, and I will be gone, dead. Something I wished for so long ago, which now scares me. I was said to be immortal. I am not, Chaos is.

Even my body has more marks of him. At first it was half of my left arm, now it has taken over it and half of my chest. My body is disfigured, it’s not mine anymore.

I lean my forehead on the window, feeling Chaos growl inside of me. I know he hates when I do that, when I feel something cold, when he tries to take over me. It's like if it hurts it. It allows me to gain some more time.

Time... What is the meaning of time in an eternity? Time no longer has any meaning.. it becomes too short even if it's long.

I hear footsteps behind me, behind the closed door of the bedroom. Ah yes, a shared house. I don't just share my body with Chaos, I share the whole house with another person.

Cid ...

The only one who has been able to see through me... or at least, show that he did.

I hear the door open, and my heart skips a beat. I don't want him to see me like this... No Cid.. no..

But it is too late . . .

"Hey Vince!! You see that snow outside? Looks like we'll have an early winter!! "

He has such an happy tone in his voice. I know Winter is a time he likes. He can become a child again...

I nod, still looking outside, trying to conceal the trembling of my body. Cid approaches me and put his hand on my shoulder.

"Something's the matter?"

I don't answer right away, unable to find a lie to tell him. But it makes no differences, he feels me shaking.

" ...Vincent..?"

There is insecurity in his voice, he probably knows what is the matter now.

" ... It's Chaos again?"

"...yes . . . Cid.. I.."

He slowly turns me around, looking at my face. Through his eyes, I can see that he clearly remembers what happened the last time Chaos fought me for my body, the time it took for me to get back, the state I was in when I finally won against the beast.

His hand reaches my face, it's also trembling. He knows the outcome, I am sure of it.

He slowly shakes his head in denial, "No... Tell me it’s a lie."

I turn my face away, unable to look at him anymore. I cannot stand to hurt him, it tears me apart every time.

His other hand reaches my face and brings it closer to his.

"...Vincent.."

He then catches my lips with his while I can only catch onto my breath..

"...Cid.."

" Shhh... Vincent, shhh.."

His left arm encircles me around the waist, getting me closer. I can feel him tremble, his heartbeat is pacing up. Both from desire and fear. Mine is too.. but I will not deny him this simple request. I part my lips, welcoming him in, tasting the essence of a cigarette he probably finished before entering the house. He accepted, a long time ago, not to smoke in the house anymore. A simple gift he gave me that meant everything. He never did that for Shera, of course, they weren't lovers either...

Lovers.. yes, Cid and I are. The ring we both wear on a chain around our neck is the proof of it. I cannot wear it on my left hand... never could because it's Chaos's hand that took the place. It broke my heart, once again. But Cid told me he knew that I couldn’t wear it, so he put it on a chain and then, around my neck. He did the same with his. My initials are engraved on his ring and his on mine. We didn't need a priest, didn't need a ceremony. We just did this, in the most natural ways possible. Left for a month, traveled the world on the Highwind, remembering each other of the time we saved this world. This world that was so alienated to me was now so beautiful. Cid made it beautiful...

I feel him pull me toward the bed and I softly lay over him, not breaking the kiss. His tongue travels around mine, and mine around his. I faintly feel dizzy, unable to breathe enough through my nose and break the kiss. His restless lips go to my neck, kissing, biting, licking it and I find myself moaning of pleasure, setting aside the request of Chaos to take over my body.

Not now...please..

Cid unbuttons my shirt and flips me on my back, revealing my chest. I feel him stop for a moment, looking at me. He puts his finger on my chest and goes from the right side of my neck to my left hip. I understand that Chaos has appeared on a bigger part of my body now. Cid sighs and goes back to kissing my neck, and going down my chest.

With my left hand I feel around his hair, pulling his face closer to me. With my good one, I rub his back, still moaning at the sensation his lips are giving me, encircling my nipple, playing with it, taunting it, gently sucking on it.

"..Cid!"

I gasp, feeling his hand on my hips, going to my thighs, rubbing near my groin. I can only repeat his name, whispering it like a prayer. I help him take his jacket and shirt off and he lays on top of me. Feverish hot skin against fearfully cold one. I welcome his heat, revealing underneath it. Even if we still have out pants on, I encircle his leg with mine, getting him up where I can ravage him with a long and fierce kiss. My tension is building up, and I need him, I need him on me, all over me, in me...

I hear him groan in my mouth, this low and deep noise of him that shakes all the way down to my chest. He softly grinds his hips on me, asking for more. And as an answer, I trail my good hand lower, unfastening his pants and grabbing his manhood.

He shivers, sighing and almost collapses on top of me.

" Vince..."

I can feel his hand reach for my head, his finger tangling with my hair and pulling my face closer for another bruising kiss. He grinds in my hand, still groaning and after a while, flips me on top of him. I lay on top of him and kiss around his ears, his neck, going down, licking and taunting. I softly bite his chest, slowly taking his pants down. I once again grab his erection and continue rubbing it at a very slow pace. No need to end this too soon...

He caresses my hair again and reaches for my shoulders, delicately pulling on them for me to get back up. Once at reach, he unbuttons my pants and pushes them down. I completely lay on top of him, both our cocks meeting and we both sigh with desire.

Gently, he lifts me up and turns me so I sit down, my back at the head of the bed. He kneels in between my legs, spreading my arms on both sides and I hold on to the headboard. His hands go around my neck, my chest, my stomach and down to my groin. I close my eyes, sending my head backward and my hips upward at his touch, softly crying out. He kisses me, quickly, before laying down before me and taking my erection in his mouth. The warmth, the dampness, his movements.. I cry his name out, louder, holding on tightly to the headboard. His movements are very slow, but after a few strokes, he paces up.

" Cid.. Oh Cid.."

I can only hiss his name, shivers running up and down my spine and my vision swimming. I buck my hips upward and Cid paces up again with one arm around my waist and his other one at the base of my erection, moving along with his mouth. I can feel him whole, his lips, his tongue. My throat tightens, and I can only relinquish a sob. My breathing quickens, softly panting and crying Cid's name. Gods.. Is this because I will never feel this again that it seems even better than before?

I violently tremble, sending my head from left to right, as I feel I can no longer hold on and release in Cid's mouth. Tightly clasping my hands on the headboard again, I almost scream his name.

Cid lets go, and kisses around my groin before coming back up, to my lips.

I can taste the remains of myself in his mouth and, letting go of the board, I tightly grab him still trembling. He caresses my hair, drawing me as close as he can, rocking me.

"Shhh...."

I can feel so many different things and all of them bringing different feelings. Cid, my love.. his warmth. He is a part of me. But I can also feel Chaos.. and he is even more present than he was before. Our time is running out and I don't know how long we have left...

I crisp in Cid's arms, Chaos getting so close of getting me right at this instant, and I feel him rubbing my back with his hand. This simple touch sends the beast away, for another moment.

" Vincent.. calm down..."

I can only sigh ... how can I calm down? I am terrified... The simple idea of leaving him...

I nuzzle against his neck and he softly lays me down, kissing my face, rubbing my chest. My body has warmed up and I desire him more then before. I want him, so deep inside of me and I can imagine that this is a shared feeling.

He lies on top of me, and we face each other. His sky blue eyes are filled of love and concern, and I know mine are filled with love and fear. He is so beautiful... this man that has been with me for a few years now... Everything started slowly, from a simple kiss, to a hug, until I found myself in his arms at night, and soon, even closer. Our love didn't take time to build, but our courage to admit it to the other, did. Valuable time that was lost but which our intense lovemaking compensated for. But tonight, it is slightly different, time running away from our grasp..

He slides his fingers on my face and I take one in my mouth, gently sucking on it. While doing so, Cid goes back down, to my nipples. I moan at the touch of his tongue and lips, I take another finger into my mouth and caress his short blonde hair. I part my legs, allowing his body to completely cover mine. He sends his other hand down, caressing my leg, softly massaging it.

Cid....

I remember our first kiss... remember it so well... Do you?

It was almost a year and a half after our battle with Sephiroth, I went for a visit to your house. You always welcomed me, you always made sure the people in your town would be courteous to me. You were like a Mayor there, everyone followed you.

You were outside, looking at the empty launch pad of the rocket, what used to be your child but to which you had to let the hand go. It didn't save everyone from Meteor like you hoped it would. And seeing it gone always left you broken. You were there, standing under the moonlight on a late summer night. I was watching you, from far away and decided it was enough with the distance. I walked aside you and we talked about your child, talked about how you loved it and missed working on it. Oh, it was so far from being romantic...But it wasn't important. I gently put my hand on your shoulder, to help you overcome this pain of seeing it gone and you turned around. Faced me and in those eyes, in those deep blue eyes of yours, I saw something that wasn't there before, when you looked at me. You then closed your eyes, hid away from me the sky in them, to kiss me. I was shocked at first ... but I understood. I understood that in me, you found someone who could read you... and Cid.. in you .. I found someone who could read me..

He took his fingers away from my mouth and I moaned of displeasure. His hand leaves my face and the next time I feel it, it's on my buttocks. I catch my breath, knowing what is coming next and part my legs even more. While still taunting my nipples, I feel one of the saliva damp finger enter me. I let go of a keen cry as it enters me deeper, moving around.

Cid's mouth lets go of my chest and trails lower again, over my stomach, over my reawakening erection, and onto my thighs, softly biting around, close his hand. His other arm is on my side, rubbing around on my hip, as I grab hold of the sheets.

After a small moment, he enters his second finger and I arc up, crying louder. He moves in and out, making scissoring movements, getting me ready for him...

For him.... It used to bring me so much pain, unaccommodating I was to this. Our first lovemaking left me afraid, then I slowly derived pleasure from pain, I wanted him to hurt me, and now, it’s everything for me. No more pain, only the intense feeling of having him as a part of me, deep within me. It took us a while before giving into our desires, but slowly, we added more elements to our intimate times, more fantasies.

I feel his lips travel upward again and I keep on crying out. So sensitive to him I became. I feel his legs go under mine, slowly lifting my hips, not letting his fingers out of me. His lips locks with mine swallowing every cry I let go of. Slowly, he retrieves his fingers and my body relaxes for a few seconds. He grabs a hold of his own erection, wiping his fingers on it and moving his hand up and down, drawing precum.

He breaks the kiss and I feel him getting ready and I bite my lip before feeling him enter me. I scream, violently arching backward as he gets in deeper.

This single moment, I live for it. This moment where we are one, where we cannot be any closer. It means everything to me.

Dear Cid... I love you so much..

This one phrase, this one phrase that touched me when you said it the very first time. It became a song, it became a balm when I awaken from a nightmare and you caught me, calming me. I never told you what they were and you always understood. You never asked about them, thank you .. thank you for being so respectful..

Thank you.. for loving me.

He paces up, and soon enough, I find him hitting this one special place, so deep inside of me. The one that makes the world falter, The one that makes everything become unimportant.

I forget about Chaos, forget about my demise, forget everything but Cid. I scream, I cry his name over and over like a sacred mantra. And in return, he pounds in me with a renewed vigor. He lifts my legs higher and reaches even deeper.

But I put my hand on his chest, sign for him to calm down, he slows the pace and I lift myself on him, gently pushing him on his back, giving myself to him. He puts his hand on my hips, panting, and helps me move. I want to give him this, for a moment. Most of the times he is the one giving himself to me. Not tonight...

We go slowly, wanting this moment to last for as long as we can. I move my face close to his and wildly kiss him. I see, in his eyes, so much understanding. He watches me, as if afraid I would vanish in mere seconds, disappear in thin air. His hand reaches for my face and draws me closer. He fiercely kisses me and I join him in a long dance, led by our tongues.. not only making love to his body, but to his mouth.

He groans, moans, shouts, and I capture every sound within my mouth, my memory, my heart. Fueling my desire with them and pound faster.

" Vincent.. oh Vincent..."

His voice is a melody, a song I never get tired of hearing. I am a fan, a fan of him. Everything he's done I integrated it into my life. I learned from him, learned to be strong. And tonight, I want to be strong, for him, for me..

" Turn around Vincent..turn around.."

He softly pushes on one of my hip and I do as asked. He sits up and I fall on all four, he grabs me from behind and the pounding begins again. I scream, he reaches far deeper into me than before. My vision swims again and I can barely hold on with my arms. With my left hand, I reach for the headboard for support but soon find my face laying on the bed, screaming again, struck with waves after waves of pleasure and ecstasy in its purest form.

So close, so fast, so hard... Cid!!!!

His voice joins with mine and our screams merge as one. He gives a few deeper trusts before we both collapse on the bed. Tired, panting, sweating...

"..Cid...Cid.."

I lay on my back as he pulls the sheets over us, then he grabs a hold onto me, a strong one, like an afraid child and buries his face in my neck.

" Vincent...."

I can feel him tremble again but I cannot know whether its from our love making or something else. I hold him tightly close to me and caresses his hair.

"Shhhhh..Cid ... its ok..Calm down..."

I feel his body slowly relaxing

" I love you Vincent... "

" I love you Cid.."

I hear him sigh.. and after a minute, in which I thought he fell asleep, he talks again.

" Vincent? .... do you.. remember our first kiss? By the launch pad.."

He remembers...? He also remembers? How foolish I was to think he may have ever forgotten...

"....yes, I remember Cid.."

" I knew you would. You've always remembered everything so perfectly.."

He then kept quiet.. and after a moment, dove off to sleep, caressing my hair, still hiding his face in the depths of my neck. His breathing calmed down and his whole body completely relaxed. I stayed there, listening to his breathing, feeling his heartbeat.

If I am to end up in Hell, which I am sure I will, these souvenirs will keep me going. I will need them...

After a while, Cid turns his head around, faintly letting me go and I feel something cold on my neck. I reach for it and feel it's damp. Cid never drools, so it cannot be it. Curious, I bring my fingers to my mouth. There is a saline taste...

Tears?!?

I delicately reach for his face and feel it moist near the eyes. I knew he was aware of what was bound to happen... but never have I seen him cry. Never...

My head starts throbbing.. and I get a strong pressure on my chest.

No.. give me.. a few more moments.. Please..

Tears fill my eyes, and I put my hand on the ring he wears around his neck. I wish.. I could erase myself from his memory... I don't want him to ache for me..

I grab my own ring and sigh. I hear a growl in the depth of my consciousness..Laughter ... My body shakes once more.

It's over, I feel it now..

Nothing I can do or say will change anything..

I slowly slide off Cid’s arm, and off the bed. I look at him, his innocent angelic face, the one which only I have been able to see. I put the blankets back on him, giving him a soft kiss on the head.

Silently, I get dressed, and walk away from the room I will never come back to. Walking out of the house, out of town.

My heart is racing, it's closer.. Too close.. But I cannot give up now. I have to go farther. I feel it coming, my mind is getting clouded, my vision blurred.. But I cannot stop walking.

I slowly climb a nearby hill, disappearing within the shadows of the forest, and after a few more minutes of walk, I lean on a tree, holding my chest. It burns, it wants me.. it's taking me away.. I have lost this battle.. I have lost myself.. and this is the price I pay.

"Cid..."

Cid.. you have always been with me, even if you knew all along that my time was over.. You accepted this fate..you've accepted me as I was.. you were my friend.. my partner.. my lover..

Forgive me..

Forgive me for leaving you behind like this.

My legs give in under my weight and I crumble to the ground, I feel blood in my mouth, my own blood... I gasp for air and find none..

"....Cid...I love you... please forgive me..."

My vision blackens, I feel something tear the skin of my back..and I let out a long scream...and fall into a dark abyss

I’ve lost myself, I am gone forever... Chaos won..

On the ground, between thorn clothes and blood chain remains....

On this chain, a ring.....

And on this ring......

The letters ...

C.H..

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And its a wrap .... crazy what you can come up with while listenning to Avril Lavigne..

Nobody's home.

got me all sad while writting until i just started to cry. Just change the She for a HE and there you go.. almost a song fic >_< lol I recommend you read while listenning to that song, unless you hate her. ~sniff~

I hope you liked :)