It Never Would

disclaimer: i don't own any of this.

I was walking... I always seemed to walk now, especially when I was upset, or depressed. As if I didn't walk enough. I walked in the morning, while traveling, i walked while the others were making or getting food, out of boredom, i walked at night when I couldn't sleep...

I was almost glad of the fact that I was so quiet. Even with their keen hearing, if i didn't even rustle my clothes as I stood, they would sleep on, and I could walk.

This night was no different. I lay silently,listening to their breathing under the stars, waited until it evened out in the unmistakeable pattern of sleep, and stood... silently. I walked... not far, because I just wanted to see the ocean. It was the last time I would be able to...

Such sad thoughts... He wouldn't be happy with me if he were to find out... It was a pity he couldn't know my thoughts, a shame I could not share them with him. I couldn't find the words for much these days... these final, closing days...

such a shame...

I heard a twig snap behind me, and turned quickly, holding my weapon out defensively. I relaxed when I saw Him...

The one person I had ever LOVED with all my heart, and the one person I could never have. I was such a fool, and I couldn't tell him.

"Can't sleep?" his voice was soft, melodic. I was grateful, and shook my head. He smiled knowingly, and came up beside me.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to wake you." i said to him. I wasn't thinking that. I was thinking -why didn't you stay asleep? why did you make me face you, on this night of all nights? -

"You didn't... I was already awake." Liar. He was horrible at lying to me. I don't even know why he tried. I gave him a small smile, when in fact I wanted to throw my arms around him, kiss him senseless, and never let him go. Never let go...

"What?" I hadn't realized I had spoken aloud until he asked about it.

"I never want to let go of this night... its so.. .perfect." because of you, I longed to add, but didn't dare. The night though, was indeed perfect. warm, but not humid. Clear sky, slight breeze, little sound... Just the stars and the sea. And Him.

I could have died happy right there, but I knew it was not to be. Not my destiny.

Destiny sucks.

He would have wet his pants in shock if he heard my thoughts, heard the truth that was in my heart. I had wanted this with my whole being, everything in my soul when i began, and as I grew to know him, i grew to love him. But i couldn't be so selfish as to take it for myself, when my life was dedicated to my people.

Sometimes I wondered if he wasn't slightly empathic, or something, because he always knew when something was wrong. He knew now, and wrapped his arms around me. I nearly cried. i felt the tears come, but I wouldn't let them fall. I wouldn't!

"I... need to tell you something..." he sounded unsure. How strange. The surest, strongest person i knew sounded nervous and uncertain.

"Yes?" How lofty I sounded. Never reveal the tumult in my heart.

"I... don't know how to say this... But... I think I love you."

I was so surprised by this that I didn't even think about the implications. It took him murmuring my name softly that i even realized that i hadn't responded. He was looking faintly hurt, taking my silence for rejection.

"I'm sorry... I was... taken offguard... Truly? For I have loved you for a long time...."

His face lit up like a light was shining on it. The light came from within, I was sure, from happiness and love... yes... like windows to the soul, there were his feelings right in his eyes. I couldn't resist temptation any longer. I leaned down, and pressed my lips against his. he didn't pull away, and somehow the kiss deepened. I felt his tongue against mine before I realized I'd even opened my mouth.

Kissing him was heaven... I'd dreamed of it for so long that I expected to wake up at any minute, or open my eyes, and it would be hell, and that was my torture for eternity... kissing him, and seeing him, and then he disappears in a puff of smoke.

I opened my eyes again, and he was still there... in fact, he looked to be enjoying it as much as I was. I gasped and he pulled away, much to my disappointment.

"Is this okay?" he asked, almost breathless. I nodded, and he kissed me again. I felt his hand on my chest, then I felt his fingers questing under my clothing, pushing it off my shoulders, the warm night air carressing me. I shivered slightly, suddenly seeing where it was going. He looked at me questioningly, and I smiled reassuringly.

"Please don't stop..." his face lit up again with that inner light, and he pressed his lips to my collarbone, then kissed downwards, pushing my clothing down as he went. My head fell backwards as his teeth grazed my nipple.

"ohh..." i hadn't meant to make any sounds, but it escaped without my permission. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and pulled me down to the soft grass with him. It wasn't until I felt the cool blades of greenery against my entire body that i realized he'd divested me of everything I was wearing without my knowledge. He stood above me, stripping his clothes off, and then knelt over me. I felt his immense power, his muscles defined from fighting, his chest broad and masculine, and felt very small in comparison. Granted I usually wore enought clothing to negate this fact, but lying here under him, both of us nude, i realized how small i was, how slender, almost feminine. He noticed,too, running a finger down my ribs.

"you're too skinny.. you ought to eat more." we both knew the futality of his statement, but it was soon forgotten as he realized my twisting was not from the touch itself but from the sensations - i was terribly ticklish, and he hadn't known before.

Laughter was never something I'd associated with this act before, but now we were both chuckling softly, aware that others slept nearby and were not to be awakened. I smiled up at him, and realized how peaceful i felt. it was the peace i'd often sought, but never found. How ironic that it would be now that this peace came to me. He bent down and wrapped his lips around the other nub of flesh, drawing another gasp from me. How could such an innocent act draw such reactions from me? such enjoyment. Never had the act given me pleasure, and now I felt ready to burst, and we'd only started!

He kissed his way down my stomach, pausing at my belly-button. Wondering what he was up to, i was about to say something when suddenly his tongue dipped into it. It created such an odd sensation that i cried out again, slightly louder. He clapped his hand over my mouth gently, smiling.

"Shhh, love... Don't wake him... tonight is OURS..." The tears returned, brimming just below the surface, ready to fall at a moments notice.

He continued his trek downward, and my breathing got faster just watching him. My legs were trembling, i realized, but not out of cold or fear... I didnt' know, really....

He kissed my hip, my inner thigh, the region just above... I nearly whimpered with restrained frustration. He took pity on me, and wrapped his soft lips around my straining erection. I did whimper at that. Nothing.. NOTHING in my life... had ever felt so good..... He sucked lightly at the tip, wrapping his hand around the bottom. I was seeing stars, and not just because I was looking up.

"ohhh.. gods....." i moaned.... it was building... sweet release... i felt my body tightening, and he pulled away. I was left sprawled on the grass, panting, desperate for release. "what...?" he merely smiled, and i realized he wasn't done. my relief was almost visible.

He spread my legs farther apart, still kneeling between them. I felt very wanton, and even more aroused from his lazy scrutiny. He bent down and did the most shocking thing i could ever have imagined. His tongue entered me, in a fascimile of what i craved... but this small, hot wetness was almost as good... he pulled out, licking the small ring of muscle; and sending me into spasms of pure pleasure. Again he pulled away, but then he was over me, and I realized we were finally going to be complete.

As he slid into me, I felt some pain, but the pleasure and the 'Rightness' of it all overwhelmed it. His hair fell into his face, and an expression of exquisite pleasure fell over his face. I reveled in it. It was within me that he found such happiness, and I was overjoyed by this knowledge. He began thrusting softly, and I couldn't even gather enough wit to think. He pressed against something deep inside and fireworks exploded, but I still did not come. He was biting his lower lip, that expression still on his face. It was maddening...

Again and again, we joined, and finally with a breathless cry my orgasm ripped through me, leaving me breathless. He threw his head back at the same moment, and spilled his seed inside me.

Later, we lay next to eachother, silent, watching the stars, and I never wanted this moment to end. In my memory, my mind..

It never would.

~*~*~*~*~

Something Amusing, by George Carlin

Hey! Hey! Hey! Time for a few fart jokes! WHERE would a comedy show be without a few fart jokes? Question: Did you ever have to fart on a bus, or an airplane, or in some public place, but, you hadn't been farting all that day, so you really didn't know the 'nature of the beast'. You only knew there was LOTS of it. In a situation like that, what you'll have to do, is to release... a Test Fart. You have to arrange to release, quietly, and in a carefully controlled manner, about ten to fifteen percent of the total fart. In order to determine if those around you can handle it! Or, or if in fact you may be about to precipitate, a Public Health Emergency. When releasing a test fart, it is often good to engage in an act of subterfuge. Such as, reaching for a magazine. "Say! Is that 'Golf Digest?!" *pbbbtthhhhh* Ahem. That doesn't smell TOO horrifying. In fact, in an odd way, its rather pleasant. I think they ought to enjoy the rest of this baby. *pppppbbbbbbbbttttttttttthhhhhhhhhh* And it turns out to be one of those farts that would strip the varnish off a foot locker. A fart that could end a marriage. And everyone around you heads for the exits. Even the people on the airplane. As you realize it is time to review your fiber intake. It might not be necessary after all each morning to eat an entire wicker swingset. I have no ending for this, so I take a small bow. *bows*
(C) George Carlin


fart... what an awful word. my uncle said TRAF. its FART backwards. he also has alzheimers, and said it about twenty times every ten minutes. because he'd forgotten that he already said it. Please excuse any spelling errors, or non-capitalizations in the fic... i was bored. and the story is told from the point of Braska, a very depressed Braska, obviously. ^ - ^