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Everything You Want
folder
Final Fantasy VIII › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
733
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Final Fantasy VIII › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
733
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Everything You Want
Disclaimer: If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a couple dozen times by now – they don’t belong to me. All the characters and locations are the property of Square-Enix; I’m only borrowing them for a short time. The song belongs to Vertical Horizon.
A/N: Companion to “Behind These Hazel Eyes”, you can read them interchangeably because it’s the same event from different viewpoints. If I choose to make this a complete little arc, the third piece will be up shortly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I said that I didn’t like being with Seifer, I’d be lying to myself. Six months have gone by in what seems like days and he’s the reason why. I never thought it would be hard to go and take some time to myself just to clear my head.
Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind
He’s not the person he used to be, though he’s gotten most of the cockiness back. I guess he changed more than we all thought he could and that’s actually a good thing. Nobody misses his bullying. But why does the thought that my unexpected departure may have hurt him make me feel so bad?
You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why
As long as I’ve known him, we’ve been struggling to be better than each other in every imaginable thing. And that hasn’t changed now that we’re together, but I don’t mind this kind of competing. I actually enjoy seeing what it takes to make him nearly beg for more. But I’ll never actually bring him to the point of begging. That would be cruel and I’m not like that.
Esthar’s peaceful, but the solitude and quiet isn’t helping me figure anything out. He’s not here with me, which is a strange feeling after six months of having him always by my side. It’s as if I’m waiting for something to smack me between the eyeballs and answer my confusion.
But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return
Seifer calls me his “Ice Princess”, but I’m not as cold and distant as I used to be. Especially not with him. It’s impossible to keep myself hidden from him when it’s almost like he can read my mind and know what I’m trying to keep from saying. I wish I could be more like how he used to be, how he’s slowly returning to be. Not caring so much about what people think, the best gunblade fighter around, and always dreaming big.
Me? I’m content just as I am – SeeD, world hero, beloved. Before everything started, I wouldn’t have been able to see, much less admit, that Seifer has feelings for me. But I’m not as stupid about emotions now, especially not when they’re written all over his face every time he looks at me. And knowing that he loves me is a little scary because I can’t describe my own emotions.
He is everything you want
He is everything you need
He is everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why
What if I screw up and he stops wanting to be with me? I couldn’t go back to being alone. That would be the second-most painful thing I can imagine. The most painful would be learning that he’s disappeared again. He completes me in some way I can’t fully comprehend and yet I keep expecting to be pushed away. We’re opposites, yet we’re both more than ourselves when we’re together.
You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say
I know I care about him in some way, but I don’t know if there are words to fit it exactly. Knowing that I’m the one who saved him and I’m the only person that makes him happy is strangely fulfilling. He’s the first person I look for when I get back from a mission and the last person I see before I leave.
It’s not just the sex, though that’s certainly good. It’s the look on his face when he sees me waiting for him, the way he holds me tight as he sleeps. Fuck, I’m sounding sappy as hell.
He is everything you want
He is everything you need
He is everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why
Dammit. The answer is at the back of my mind, but I can’t think of what it might be. Well, I have an idea, but I’m scared to admit it. That would leave me even more exposed to him and he could hurt me even more. And at the same time, I know Seifer would never hurt me more than I want him to. Hyne, I still don’t understand emotions as much as other people do. I guess only time can help me there.
But you'll just sit tight
And watch it unwind
It's only what you're asking for
And you'll be just fine
With all of your time
It's only what you're waiting for
Even though I’m nowhere closer to understanding why I care about Seifer, or what I feel, I have the overwhelming feeling that I hurt him and that I need to get back to Garden to at least try to explain myself. I’ll have to apologize because I just needed a little time to sort things out.
Seifer will always drive me crazy and push my buttons, but I can’t go without being pushed to be the best person and fighter I can be.
Out of the island
Into the highway
Past the places where you might have turned
You never did notice
But you still hide away
The anger of angels who won't return
Seifer needs me; I need him. Seifer loves me, even though he’s never said it; I don’t know what I feel, though there’s a chance it could be something like love. Seifer likes feeling like he’s protecting someone; I like feeling like I’m being protected. That’s all I know, that’s all that matters. Maybe the rest will sort itself out.
I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why
And I don't know why
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: I have the overwhelming feeling that this part is absolutely terrible. x_x. So reassure me, confirm that I should never write Squall, or whatever you feel like. Just give me feedback, okay?
A/N: Companion to “Behind These Hazel Eyes”, you can read them interchangeably because it’s the same event from different viewpoints. If I choose to make this a complete little arc, the third piece will be up shortly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I said that I didn’t like being with Seifer, I’d be lying to myself. Six months have gone by in what seems like days and he’s the reason why. I never thought it would be hard to go and take some time to myself just to clear my head.
Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind
He’s not the person he used to be, though he’s gotten most of the cockiness back. I guess he changed more than we all thought he could and that’s actually a good thing. Nobody misses his bullying. But why does the thought that my unexpected departure may have hurt him make me feel so bad?
You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why
As long as I’ve known him, we’ve been struggling to be better than each other in every imaginable thing. And that hasn’t changed now that we’re together, but I don’t mind this kind of competing. I actually enjoy seeing what it takes to make him nearly beg for more. But I’ll never actually bring him to the point of begging. That would be cruel and I’m not like that.
Esthar’s peaceful, but the solitude and quiet isn’t helping me figure anything out. He’s not here with me, which is a strange feeling after six months of having him always by my side. It’s as if I’m waiting for something to smack me between the eyeballs and answer my confusion.
But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return
Seifer calls me his “Ice Princess”, but I’m not as cold and distant as I used to be. Especially not with him. It’s impossible to keep myself hidden from him when it’s almost like he can read my mind and know what I’m trying to keep from saying. I wish I could be more like how he used to be, how he’s slowly returning to be. Not caring so much about what people think, the best gunblade fighter around, and always dreaming big.
Me? I’m content just as I am – SeeD, world hero, beloved. Before everything started, I wouldn’t have been able to see, much less admit, that Seifer has feelings for me. But I’m not as stupid about emotions now, especially not when they’re written all over his face every time he looks at me. And knowing that he loves me is a little scary because I can’t describe my own emotions.
He is everything you want
He is everything you need
He is everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why
What if I screw up and he stops wanting to be with me? I couldn’t go back to being alone. That would be the second-most painful thing I can imagine. The most painful would be learning that he’s disappeared again. He completes me in some way I can’t fully comprehend and yet I keep expecting to be pushed away. We’re opposites, yet we’re both more than ourselves when we’re together.
You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say
I know I care about him in some way, but I don’t know if there are words to fit it exactly. Knowing that I’m the one who saved him and I’m the only person that makes him happy is strangely fulfilling. He’s the first person I look for when I get back from a mission and the last person I see before I leave.
It’s not just the sex, though that’s certainly good. It’s the look on his face when he sees me waiting for him, the way he holds me tight as he sleeps. Fuck, I’m sounding sappy as hell.
He is everything you want
He is everything you need
He is everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why
Dammit. The answer is at the back of my mind, but I can’t think of what it might be. Well, I have an idea, but I’m scared to admit it. That would leave me even more exposed to him and he could hurt me even more. And at the same time, I know Seifer would never hurt me more than I want him to. Hyne, I still don’t understand emotions as much as other people do. I guess only time can help me there.
But you'll just sit tight
And watch it unwind
It's only what you're asking for
And you'll be just fine
With all of your time
It's only what you're waiting for
Even though I’m nowhere closer to understanding why I care about Seifer, or what I feel, I have the overwhelming feeling that I hurt him and that I need to get back to Garden to at least try to explain myself. I’ll have to apologize because I just needed a little time to sort things out.
Seifer will always drive me crazy and push my buttons, but I can’t go without being pushed to be the best person and fighter I can be.
Out of the island
Into the highway
Past the places where you might have turned
You never did notice
But you still hide away
The anger of angels who won't return
Seifer needs me; I need him. Seifer loves me, even though he’s never said it; I don’t know what I feel, though there’s a chance it could be something like love. Seifer likes feeling like he’s protecting someone; I like feeling like I’m being protected. That’s all I know, that’s all that matters. Maybe the rest will sort itself out.
I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why
And I don't know why
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: I have the overwhelming feeling that this part is absolutely terrible. x_x. So reassure me, confirm that I should never write Squall, or whatever you feel like. Just give me feedback, okay?