Fatality III: Bittersweet Symphony

Disclaimer: Not mine, I just write with them because I can and I’m still broke.

A/N: This is kinda for scribblemoose, kinda just because I felt like writing something else in the Teasing-verse. I could have done one of two things at the end, but I did the one that felt more natural at the moment. Maybe I’ll regret it some other day, maybe not.
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[Rinoa]
I expected Squall to take Irvine’s death hard, but not like this. He’s barely said a word to anyone since it happened and there are dark circles constantly under his eyes whenever he lifts his face.

It hurts to see him in pain. And the power inside me is whispering hints that I can do something to ease it for a while, even though it would come at a great price. With great power comes greater responsibility. I owe it to Squall to not be afraid of what I can do and at least try to help him. Even though we may never be together again, I still love him as a friend.

Everything I need, according to the book of Odine’s I borrowed, is right here with me, next to Irvine’s grave. A small pocketknife – I cleaned the blade earlier – rests on top of a dusty, faded brown cowboy hat with a crumpled piece of paper next to it. I’m nervous, but not afraid.

Squall’s hand rests on my shoulder, startling me out of my reverie. I turn to look at him and motion for him to take a seat on the ground beside me. The pain in his eyes hurts, but I know better than to touch him. He’ll just pull away and claim that he doesn’t need coddling or comfort. That cold mask is always up when he’s hurting the most.

“Why did you ask me to come here?” he whispers and his voice nearly chokes on the words. We wanted him to give the eulogy, but he claimed words would have been too hard. I believe him now.

Motioning to the things beside me, I try to gather my thoughts. “I was reading some of the books Odine gave me and one of them mentioned that sorceresses have the power to occasionally bring back a person who died before his or her time. And if it doesn’t happen, then at least the dead one’s spirit has the chance to talk to people nearby.”

Squall’s hands, covered by leather gloves as usual, ball into fists and he closes his eyes tightly. “Don’t play me with false hope, Rinoa. Irvine’s dead and nothing’s going to change that. Even though I wish it were possible.”

I shrug and look over the piece of paper again to refresh my memory of what exactly I need to do. “It’s worth a try so you at least get the chance to tell him what you feel. Even if you walk away, I’m going to do it for your sake.” No need to mention that, if he comes back, I’m really the one who loses something.

“…Whatever….”

He doesn’t move as I close my eyes and begin whispering a prayer. Hyne, please hear the plea of your descendant and listen to my request. I come with selfless intentions; this is for my knight, whose heart lies with someone that was ripped away too soon. Bring him some peace of mind by restoring life and allowing love to prove that even death holds no sway over it.

My right hand brushes across Irvine’s hat before I pick up the knife. There’s a change in the air around us, it’s as if I can feel pins and needles against my skin with every motion of the wind and shifting of my position. With only slight hesitation, I cut into my left palm and let some blood drip over the new grave. It sinks in, leaving deep blotches in the tan dirt, and I can only stare at the dripping while still speaking softly.

I offer my blood and my self as your conduit to work change through. Nothing comes for free and I accept that. My offering is my power itself. Take it from me; pass it to someone even though I’m only now accepting it. I will lose the bond with my knight, but I don’t care as long as this one wish is granted.

A shiver runs down my spine and I arch my back and cry out because it hurts. I wasn’t expecting pain, but Squall’s here to steady me even as the air grows taut with anticipation. I can feel that something is going to happen. What, exactly, I don’t know.

“Brave child. Foolish, but brave.” A voice booms inside my head while the sky above us grows butterscotch-yellow and I can only barely make out the feeling of Squall’s hand holding onto my bleeding one.

There’s a weird feeling inside my head – like a GF, only more powerful and flowing over more than just a little part of myself. I want to name it, but I think naming it would make it not quite as strong. Hyne…

[Squall]
Rinoa starts talking louder, but the voice isn’t her own and it’s not like anything I’ve ever heard before. It’s obviously female. It’s also stronger and more confident than I’ve heard in anyone, including Seifer, Quistis, and Xu.

“My nervous princess wishes for a resurrection, but her lion knight seems to have resigned himself to loneliness. Consent is everything, so what is the wish of he who was closest to the dead man?”

Is Hyne, or whoever’s speaking through Rinoa, offering me the chance to bring Irvine back to life? I want him here again with me so I can apologize for my fear and my stupid pride, but at the same time, I know I should be thinking about moving on with life and getting my hands on Seifer so he’ll pay the price for his crime.

The words won’t come for a long while, and tears come a moment before I choke out, “Don’t change what was meant to happen. If that means me never seeing Irvine again, then all I want is the chance to talk to him. But if his death was a mistake, fix it and bring him back. I’m not the only one that misses him.”

Uneasy silence surrounds me and the eerie yellow sky brightens the way it does before some storms. Then I hear the voice speaking through Rinoa again. “Wise lion. You may speak with him and even hold him if that is your desire. But there is no ultimate ‘meant to be’ when his fate always hinged on your choice. He is dead because you chose to be afraid of love when it was offered.”

Her words hit me hard and I feel myself crying more, the tears flowing down over my cheeks and neck before I fall forward, barely bracing myself with my hands while clouds roll above in the unsettling sky. I shake as I sob and pound the ground with one fist, a strangled apology escaping my throat. I know Seifer is the one who killed him, but it might as well have been me since it was my choice that led to this.

Rinoa’s here still, I can feel her hand rubbing across my back before a slight crackling noise gets my attention and I look up even though my vision is blurred by tears. Irvine’s there, looking just as he did the last time I ever saw him on the day he left. Since I can’t talk again, I motion for Rinoa to leave us alone and she thankfully walks off, the faint light of a Cure spell the last thing I notice from her.

“Never knew you cried, Leonhart,” I hear him say and I just glare before trying to wipe the tears away. Looking at him makes me cry more, though, so I do the only thing that I can think of – cling to him and cry into his chest in hopes that the familiar warmth offers some kind of comfort.

When his arms wrap around me and fingers lightly brush down my spine, I let myself take slow breaths to calm down. He might not be here long, but Irvine’s here now to comfort me and that’s what matters.

“I’m sorry I didn’t stop you. I was just scared and too stubborn to admit I was wrong,” I whisper into his chest, hesitating before looking up into violet eyes and slowly confessing, “I love you.”

He smiles and nods, one hand on my cheek. “We’re all scared of things. The hard part is looking at what scares you and trying not to run off. Hell, Rinoa was scared of doing this, but she did it for you.”

Words aren’t good enough for my feelings and holding him isn’t enough. I tug his ponytail down and kiss him slowly; eyes open so that he can see everything I can’t find the words for. I miss you, I wish you were here and I wasn’t alone again. If I had another chance, I wouldn’t let you get away even though it would grate my pride to admit being wrong. He tastes just as good as I remember, but he steps back sooner than I expect and that voice from earlier speaks inside my head.

If you went back to the day he left, you’d still do the same thing even though you deny it. It took this loss to teach you the value of defeat and lost pride. But you’ll get stronger alone and you’ll see that there is someone out there who really needs you to be complete. Find the fallen knight.

Seifer?! I know I need to find Seifer, but I don’t know what I’ll do when I get my hands on the fucker. Barely nodding at the words, I keep looking up at Irvine and hold his hand once more, never moving my gaze until the beautiful figure is gone once more.

It starts raining steadily as I lower my hand and touch the tombstone, but the pale sky lingers long enough for me to spot a silhouetted profile in the distance. It’s holding out the distinctive shape of a gunblade.