To love is to let go

Disclaimer: I do not own charries so don't sue me, I have nothing!
A/N: Hiya! This idea just fluttered into my head after realizing that I hadn't done a ZackCloud. So I thought over it for a moment of what I could do and this is what popped into my head. Purty happy with it overall though I'm a little bleh on the lemon since I wrote it while feeling like crap, which I still do. Oh and as a small note, this takes place before the incident in Nibelheim just in case you were all wondering. :3 Well please enjoy!


To Love is to let go

"Come in!" Zack yelled out from the bathroom, hoping that 'he' heard him. Drying off the rest of his hair, he let the towel fall around his bare shoulders as he walked out of the bathroom. A smirk instantly touched at his lips seeing his blonde friend standing just inside the door slipping off his boots. His smirk only widened at seeing a bag that he was certain was filled with food, now starting to smell it's deliciousness.

"Aw, how sweet of you Cloud."

Cloud only rolled his eyes. "I know you wouldn't have anything to eat since for a reason unknown to me you never have food when I come over," he retorted back, hanging up his coat and making his way into the open livingroom of the ebony-haired man's luxury apartment.

"I'm hurt by your words. I always feed you when I come over," the older man pouted, joining his best friend in the livingroom. He plopped down on the couch while picking up one of the chinese take-out boxes.

"After you fight with me over what we are going to eat since I don't have 'taste'." At this the blonde rolled his eyes and plucked up a box of his own, leaning back on the recliner as he sat on the floor.

"Well you don't! You always just eat the same damn thing and that is just horrible. I guess though that is one of the reasons you and Sephiroth get along so well. No taste at all, I swear. You guys wouldn't know what to do without me. Your apartment would just be all black and silver with no other damn colors and that is just plain boring." The chopsticks in his hand were used to help make his point before a glob of the noodles were taken and shoved into his mouth.

"I think we would be fine, Zack. I personally don't have a problem with it." Cloud stuck his tongue out at his friend before taking a bite out of his sweet and sour chicken.

"Well too bad. You guys are stuck with me until you both fall over and die and even then I'll be haunting your asses." The dark-haired man gave a truimphant smile and shoved more of the noodles into his large mouth. Cloud only rolled his eyes again and continued to eat.

The box of noodles that Zack had grabbed was finished in minutes and another box was picked up as he stretched out on the couch. "So how is ole mr. serious doing? I haven't gotten to talk to him lately since the exams are coming up."

"Irritable since the exams are coming and they are trying to overwork him. But once he gets home, he seems to lighten up greatly. I don't think he would admit it, but he really does miss having you around. I think it just gets boring without you always nagging at him through the day." The smaller man smiled up at his friend, blue eyes staring into the glowing violet. "I miss you too," he admitted quietly.

The chopsticks Zack had been holding stopped for a second, knowing that he heard the other man's small confession knowing it had a deeper meaning. However he shook that off and gave his usual cocky smile to Cloud. "I told him he would miss me! He always misses my sudden surprises." The smirk only grew as a proud look appeared on his face.

Shaking his head, Cloud finished off his own box and set it down on the table. "So how is Aeris doing? I would visit her at the old church but I've been busing with the exams and Seph." The blonde grabbed another box for himself, the lid being opened and contents being eaten.

"Oh she is doing great! Still so cheerful and getting those flowers of her to grow. I told her that she should really look into setting up a flower shop with my help of course. I think she would sell a lot more of those flowers if she would be able to make it more noticeable. In the slums, a girl like her isn't really all that noticed. But she keeps saying she's fine as well," he replied with a short chuckle, now completely stretched out on the couch.

"That's Aeris for you," he added afterwards, tossing the second empty box on the table. Cloud only nodded and grabbed the box, shoving it and the other two into the bag using it for trash. He stretched out for a second and then pushed himself up off the floor, bag in hand. "Is there anything to drink or should I have gotten that too?" he chuckled out, ducking from the towel he knew was being sent at his head.

"Very funny. There should be some soda's and beer's in the frig but if you're filling picky there's tea in the cupboard," he yelled back. Zack stretched out for a second before leaning on his elbows on the arm of the couch. His arm shot out as a beer was tossed at him, watching the blonde with a smirk on his face.

"You're a lying ass. There was no soda at all in the frig, there was only beEERS." Cloud tripped over a random towel on the floor as he moved to sit on the couch, sending him stumbling forwards. Naturally his hand grabbed at the back of the couch and he was flung onto a surprised Zack. He ended up pressed against the taller man with his legs nestled between the taller man's own.

"You know you should really clean up around here or I'm going to...to..." he stopped as he stared up his friend, blue meeting violet. Then without a warning, he felt soft lips pressed deeply into his own with a hand lost in his blonde locks. The back of his mind told him to push away but he found that he couldn't, the feelings that Zack could still invoke in him peeking it's ugly head and the memories from the former love they had springing to life.

After a few moments, Cloud broke the kiss and breathed in deeply. His head was tilted to the side, blue eyes partially closed and looking away along with being lost in the long blonde locks. Zack took in a deep breath himself before moving his hand to touch at the blonde's cheek, knowing that maybe he shouldn't have done that.

"Cloud..."

"...Zack... I..." the words failed to come out of his mouth. Blue eyes shut, his fingers digging into the couch. So many feelings arose in his chest and he just didn't know how to deal with all of them. The love and care he still held for Zack burned deep in his chest but the shame and guilt of 'cheating' on Sephiroth burned just as deeply. Slowly he began to pull back but was stopped by the ebony-haired man, a tender look within the glowing eyes of his.

"I know how you feel Cloud... Let us just be in love one last night before we completely let go of each other." It was a soft plead though with much feeling put into it. Though Zack loved Aeris and planned to spend the rest of his life with the green-eyed woman, he still couldn't stop the feelings of love he knew he would probably always have for the blonde. He wanted to at least spend one more night with him as a lover not a friend.

Hesitation was evident in Cloud, his body pulled away slightly yet not making a move to get further away from Zack. Then without warning, he pushed himself tightly against the taller man finding soft lips with his own. Arms were wrapped around his best friend's neck as he poured all the love he still had for the other man. For one last time, he would let himself be Zack's lover and give himself completely to the man he still cared for deeply.

Zack pushed back into the passionate kiss, fingers running through the silky blonde locks he always loved. Then slowly he trailed down the blonde's back, fingers gliding across the shirt that would soon be off before slipping into the other man's pants, grasping the firming cheeks tightly. The action caused Cloud to buck his hips upwards and moan into his lovers lip, feeling the hardening organ brush against his own. Both would agree it felt great to be like this once more.

When the kiss broke, Zack took the opportunity to change their position. Cloud was pushed back against the couch with the taller man hovering over him. Trained fingers easily took care of the belt that held the blonde's pants up, it being tossed to the floor. The button and zipper was undone and his hand immediately slipped beneath his boxers, wrapping around the hardened member. Zack began to stroke the soft flesh while his other hand pushed up the smaller man's shirt, lips latching onto a pert nipple.

Cloud could only moan out deeply at the wonderful sensations that were spreading through his body. Hands grasping onto the dark locks, hips bucking slightly with each stroke that only sent more pleasure through his small frame. Thoughts were lost to him becoming completely lost into the touches of his lover.

"..Uhn...Zack... please," he whimpered out, "I... I need to feel more of you... I wan... want you inside me..."

" I know Cloud," he purred back. Zack gave one last good stroke to the pulsing organ before pulling back from the pleading blonde. Pants and boxers were quickly removed and tossed to the floor. He let Cloud take care of his shirt while he striped himself of his own pants. A thought then fluttered across his mind and he stood up from the couch, placing a teasing kiss just beneath the blonde's earlobe. "Have to go get something.."

Cloud only nodded and watched him disappear down the hallway. A light flickered on in the hallway with a shadow being cast out. Shuffling could be heard for a few moments before the light flickered back off and Zack came out of the bathroom, he assumed. The blonde already knew what was in his hand, lotion. It seemed it was the same lotion that they always ended up using when they had been lovers before.

Zack caught the look Cloud had and stuck his tongue out at him. Now was not the time to get in an agruement about his lotion, he had other things to attend to first.

The lid to the lotion was opened, a small amount being poured onto middle and ring finger. He knelt on the couch as he pushed both said fingers gently into the tight ring of muscle of his lover. A gasp was heard and he felt the blonde shudder at the feeling. It only made him smile and slowly begin thrusting into the smaller man. Fingers were scissored as he thrust inside of Cloud, wanting to prep him though he was sure he was use to the large intrustion of the General.

After a minute or so, he pulled his fingers out of the tight ring. Lotion was then poured onto his fingers again but this time the lotion was stroked onto his aching member. The bottle was tossed to the side and he let himself fall over the blonde, hovering over the small yet powerful body. One hand grasped onto the narrow waist while his other was used to position himself in front of Cloud's entrance. Then in one single movement, he thrusted himself to the hilt into the blonde.

A loud gasp left Cloud's lips and his fingers found their way into the dark mop of his lover. Eyes were shut tight for a moment, letting the feeling of pure pleasure with a mix of pain spread throughout his whole body. The breath he was holding was let out and his eyes slowly crept open, lust and love swirling in the dark depths while he looked up at Zack.

"..Zack.." he whimpered out, emotions starting to clench at his chest again.

"Shh... It will be okay Cloud," the ebony-haired man whispered back, pushing his body fulling on the smaller man's. The hand on his waist moved so his entire arm was wrapped around the narrow hips and his other hand moved to entwine with the blonde's. Slowly and gently he began to thrust into the small body, whispering soft words to Cloud, knowing he needed to hear them.

Soon the emotions that had begun to swell disappeared, the pleasure and the feel of love replacing everything. A continious string of moan left Cloud's lips, fingers digging into the flesh of Zack's back. Hips began to buck up to meet with his lover's, each thrust getting faster and harder. The twist in his stomach formed and began to get tighter and tighter. He could feel the twist begin to trail downwards but he stopped it.

Cloud moved his hands to grasp onto Zack's making him stop his thrusts. A confused look passed over his features but the blonde only smiled. The ebony-haired man was pushed back away from him, his throbbing member slipping out of the tight ring. Zack opened his mouth to talk but a finger was pushed to his lips before he could say anything.

The blonde rolled over on the couch, then pushed himself up onto his knees and moved closer to the armrest. Elbows rested on the armrest, his head falling down so his blonde locks covered his face though blue eyes could still be partially seen. Soft pants were leaving his lips, his body still aching to be sent to pure bliss.

Zack moved to his knees and positioned himself behind the blonde. Slowly and teasingly, he eased his hardened muscle into his lover holding back the deep groan that wanted to be let out. Once he was completely inside of Cloud, he teasingly pulled back out leaving only the head of his member. "Zack..." he heard his lover whimper out, feeling the other man trying to push back. He continued hold himself there for a few more second before thrusting himself back into the willing body. This time a deep groan left his lips and his body fell onto Cloud's.

"...Gods... Zack," he moaned out deeply, his body moving with Zack as the pace picked back up to what it was. Deep and fast, reaching his secret pleasure core that sent jolts of pleasure throughout his body. When he felt a strong hand wrap around his aching member, he began to buck his hips further as the twist in his stomach tightened more.

Hearing his name cried out, he pushed the pace as fast as his body would will him and moved his hand in time with the pace. Kisses and soft nips were trailed across the blonde's neck and collarbone, hitting the sensitive spots he still remembered. The moans that he elicited were driving him insane and he knew that neither of them would last much longer.

Cloud was the first sent over the edge.

"Zack!" he cried out loudly. Cloud bucked his hips one last time into the hand wrapped around him before white, hot seed spilled out over Zack's hand, his stomach and the armrest of the couch. Eyes shut tight and his entire body went rigid as the numbing pleasure rolled over him in waves. His breath was sucked in and he couldn't get it back until the pleasure began to fade away.

The spasming body he was thrusting into and the cry of his name was enough to send him over. "Cloud!" Zack thrusted hard and deep into the lithe body, white seed spilling out coating the inner walls of his lover. He rode his own wave of climax before heavily collapsing onto the blonde. Deep breathes were sucked in and he could hear Cloud doing the same, both trying to calm their bodies.

Minutes passed before Zack pulled out of Cloud, falling back on the couch. Cloud followed suit but curled up into the taller man, arms wrapping around his torso. His mind was still blank and at the moment he only wanted to fall asleep after the streneous act.

Zack smiled and watching the blonde, knowing he would be passing out soon. It's what always happened after one of their love makings unless it was on one of the few occassions he got Cloud to do it in public. The smile only brightened and he brought his hand up to grab at the blanket that he always had on his couch just for such occassions. He brought his arms around the smaller man and placed a gentle kiss on the top of his head.

"I love you Cloud," he whispered out just barely.

"I love you too Zack," was the blonde's sleepy reply. Zack placed another kiss on the top of his head and fell asleep with his best friend, a smile on his face. Though this would be there last time like this, he knew that they would both always remember there time spent together and the love they would always share no matter what happened.


-Fin-

A/N: So what did you think? Please, please review if you can. Thankies much!