Nothing Hurtfull

Disclaimer: Belong to Squaresoft
Warnings: het
Parings: Squall/Rinoa
Beta: Non yet and haven’t had time to re-read it myself.
Notes: This little thing just came up. The title… it has to have a name, right?
I’ve tried to write this as close to reality as possible, so pardon me if it lacks the typical lemon tricks.
But please read it anyway and then make up your mind about what you think then.

¬
Nothing Hurtful

Could you imagine the feeling of sweet victory? That almost musky taste in the back of your throat you only got when you saw your foe fall to never get up again? Not just any foe, but the toughest most dangerous one.

Could you imagine the numbness and denial of seeing your one and only lay motionlessly? Not pale, but ash-grey, not cold, but ice cold? Feeling sheer and utter rage at how your hard work lay dead and… gone? All that emotional pain, all that emotional work, all that blood sweat and tears given for… nothing?

Or the rush of unbelievable happiness, once those grey-blue eyes opened and dilated blinked up at you? The same eyes that now held softness and a silent light in them every time you meet them?

She smiled even broader as Squall drew her in for a kiss. Mind you, not their first kiss. She knew this was a fairytale coming true. But, every story had a core of truth. Why couldn’t a fairytale have a core of truth? Why couldn’t she have her brave and handsome knight? For this moment, this night, this time.

They left the party early. Squall didn’t like the mass of people, she understood. Ever since that first time she had dragged him out on the dance floor, she had known he wasn’t the one to mingle. It was okay, she guessed. She could live without being surrounded by a mass of people, even enjoy a bit of solitude every now and again.

It became awkward once they were outside their rooms. They were wall to wall so to speak. She took his hand shyly, only holding his fingers. He had his glows on. Lionheart clung to his side. Her own weapon lay in her room, she wasn’t trained to have it with her from childhood. It wasn’t a part of her as the gunblade was for him. She smiled softly.

“What?” the question surprised her. The deep gaze from those grey-blue eyes did too.

“Nothing,” she answered softly and smiled again. He actually did something smile similar.

“You want to come in for awhile?” she all but whispered. He had stepped closer at some point, locking their fingers together.

His silent replay was enough. She had started to learn and understand. Her room was very cold and straight. She didn’t have much more than her travelling things in there. They had returned only a few days ago so… she hadn’t gotten the time yet.

They didn’t light the light, the moon was enough and they both wanted the dark. Her stomach made a strange flutter as his strong arms circled her from behind. Careful lips pressed against her naked shoulder.

Turning, she circled her arms around his neck and they kissed again. Deep and lingering. In their first kisses they had nudged each others teeth, which wasn’t the nicest of experiences. Breathing had been a problem too, she remembered. Feeling so awkward and not knowing how to properly breathe while tasting the other. It wasn’t a problem know.

Squall pressed his hands along her back and at some point he took of his glows. Rinoa buried her hands in his soft hair. She felt him lightly finger her hair and like a feather travel down her back and tentatively touch her bottom.

She played with the fur collar of his jacket and somehow got it off of him. Rinoa’s hand gently shook as she touched those arms and chest. Under the tight t-shirt she could follow every line and mark. It was… addicting. When sudden strong hands sneaked under her clothes and massaged her back, she gasped a little.

Her heart started beating hard when Squall let one hand seek out her breast. She had to help him a little with all claps and things before she was bare-chested. Squall discarded his t-shirt before once again stepping close and touching her. They kissed again.

What now? She wasn’t experienced and didn’t know how to do things. They let their hands roam each others chests and backs. No one of them really was pushing forward. The pendant warmed between them and became just another nice sensation. She thought she could feel his hardness press against her pelvis, but wasn’t sure. Looking up, she could hardly make out his features in the darkness.

“I’ve never done this.” Rinoa’s voice hardly held.

She got a smile in return.

“No worry. We’ll learn.” His voice had become very dark all of a sudden. Never having heard it before, it made her whole spine shiver.

During lots of kissing and exploring, they slowly exposed each other and closed in on the bed. Lionheart was carefully put beside the bed and Rinoa sat down. Now naked. It felt awkward. She was sure she was blushing. Her heart skipped a beat and her stomach fluttered as Squall discarded the last garment and was as naked as her.

It was awkward laying down. No one of them knew what was best so they settled with laying beside each other. They kissed again and Squall massaged her breasts. It felt… odd. To have someone else touch them. He was much more careful and gentle than she herself was with them.

Rinoa touched back. Played with those small nipples. She had thought they would have been larger. They were so small in comparison to hers. His body was very different too. Muscles lined him, made him hard or soft to the touch. Her fingers feathered over his side and muscles around rippled. She could actually feel them tense and relax. Like stroking a cat.

Bones was pointing out in places too. His shoulders and hips were pointier than hers. Not as soft. Squall’s skin was soft. That surprised her. She had thought guys had not so soft skin or hair. She shuddered when he let a strong hand catch her thigh and drag it upwards, massaging it firmly up and down. She breathed deeply when he took a breast into his mouth.

The rough fingertips tickled her and made her squirm somewhat which made him still his hand and just hold her. He moved his mouth to lick her between her breasts and slowly move to the other. Rinoa let her hands dance over his shoulders and arms what she reached. Squall moved his hand to her bottom again and made slow massaging movements.

They kissed again and Rinoa let her hand travel the muscular stomach and abdomen but she retreated before travelling too far. He eased her leg away and spread her, Rinoa shuddered. He placed his warm hand just under her belly and over her groin. While kissing softly, Squall slowly moved his hand down.

So careful and tentative. She shuddered when he placed his warm palm completely over her, making small circular motions. He let a finger trail around, exploring her like a new territory, which she supposed she was. She shuddered again when he met a sensitive spot and he paused just for a moment. Then he resumed his exploring.

Slowly mapping her out. Finding the spots that made her twitch or take a hasty breath. She gasped when he settled on the most sensitive, the little nub. It felt strange, having him touch her. The sensation and pleasure was so different from when she herself did it. Weaker and at the same time stronger. Different.

“Is it right?” he breathed against her lips.

Her mouth was dry from excitement. She traced his arm down to his fingers and he easily adjusted to her wishes. When he found the rhythm, she withdrew somewhat, closing her eyes and trying to concentrate on hat slowly burning feeling.

He played with her. Went slowly, then faster, then slow again. Moved around and changed way. From using two fingers and trapping her, to using three with a circling motion. She twitched involuntarily at his touches. Stabs of pleasure attacking her.

Rinoa traced her hand along his stomach again, debating with herself if she was brave enough to touch back. Squall made it easy for her and took her hand. He led her to his hardness and she circled it. It was warm and very hard. She had imagined it to be much softer, not so hard and warm.

Squall let go of a little groan as she tentatively touched him up and down. His hand returned to her heat and for a while they played with each other. As he let a finger travel down in her and find her entrance, she tensed even though she didn’t want to.

Squall moved between her legs and she lost her grip of him. Her heart started beating hard. Would it hurt much? She though he was very big for her little body. Would it really go in? His tongue stabbed her bellybutton and his hands lightly gripped her bottom.

Squall traced his tongue downwards and she jolted as he suddenly licked her. He did it again, right on that nub and made her involuntarily jolt again. He flattened his tongue against her and Rinoa squirmed. That felt so good. Even more so when he explored her with tongue.

Played around her sensitivity and made quick stabs at it. A little sound escaped her as he left the nub to lick her entrance. He returned to where he go most response and Rinoa jolted again and gasped. So good. It was burning. It was a pleasure she hadn’t felt before. Intense and agonizing. It set her loins and fire and made her tense.

For long minutes he tortured her clit and had her squirm and softly whimper. She gripped his hair in desperation as her body arched and tensed and then relaxed to tense again. He placed a warm, strong hand against her belly and gave her somewhat safety in her heated world.

She gasped harshly as he did something to kick her to the heights. Her whole body tingled, her heart was racing, her breathing became fast. He tensed unbearably. So close. Then he changed and she whimpered as she lost it and was sailing back down again. He did it again and Rinoa gripped his hair harder.

Squall changed again and she whined in frustration. Still, she was too embarrassed to tell him to not stop. She just hoped he got the message and kept doing that heavenly thing whatever it was he did with that tongue.

Squall did it again and she bit her lip hard in a whimper. This time he didn’t stop. He kept at it. Making her body ache and tremble. Then she came. In a harsh gasp and blackening pleasure. Her whole body pulsated and her hips moved on their own. When it was all over, she pushed at him to stop. Too sensitive to wanting to be touched.

Squall crawled up over her and kissed her. He was lightly shivering.

“I don’t have… you know?” he whispered roughly.

“It’s okay,” she said barely over a whisper.

She didn’t care about protection right now. It was wrong, but she just didn’t.

She spread her legs somewhat and he guided himself to her. It didn’t feel to bad when he pushed at her, just different. Then sudden a stab of pain made her jolt and he froze. Rinoa bit her bottom lip as he continued. At next stab, she couldn’t help but jolt in pain.

“Okay?” Squall asked concerned.

She nodded in the darkness and circled her arms around him.

“Just… slowly,” she said.

He did as told, though he trembled. It hurt. Not unbearably, but it hurt. She didn’t know if he was fully inside, but was grateful when he stayed still. It didn’t hurt so much then, but it strained. It felt weird.

“I’m sorry,” he said roughly and kissed the corner of her lips.

“It’s okay, just… weird,” she explained and he dragged a hand through her hair.

He stayed still for a long time. Enough for the uncomfortable to disappear and for her to accept it. As he moved it hurt a little. She couldn’t help it. It wasn’t pleasurable. She hadn’t expected it to be the first time, yet she hadn’t expected it to feel just so… uncomfortable.

He strained himself to move slowly and carefully, she felt it in his trembling body and heard it at his harsh breathing. Still, she couldn’t wish for it to end quickly enough. From time to time, he’d go too far and pain would assault her.

Suddenly he withdrew and hot spots landed at her stomach as he groaned lightly. Afterward he was harshly breathing in her hair. She stroked his sides, not completely disappointed. Sure, it had hurt more than she had expected, but it was a needed hurt.

“I’m sorry,” he said again and she smiled.

“It’s okay. It’ll be better, right?” she asked.

“Hope so,” he answered and eased of her and out of the bed.

Squall disappeared into the bathroom and returned with two towels. She smiled as he slowly cleaned them both. Then she moved over to let him down on the bed. Once under the cover, she pressed up close to him and found a comfortable place along his side with her head at his shoulder.

He took his arm around her and the other under his head. She couldn’t stop smiling. Was it silly of her to feel this slowly growing giddy feeling? That this night had been a sort of milestone?

Who fell asleep first, she didn’t know, but guessed it was she.


Author’s Note:
AS always, I am starving for your comments.

Especially as this was het and my second shot at it. I really could use all your thoughts on this one.

/Shehanitan