So Many Nights

Disclamer: Yeah… if you think I own these characters… you’re an idiot.

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Reno leaned over his office desk with a sigh. It was late, but the redhead wasn’t working. He’d punched out hours ago, and was only in his office because he knew it was the one place he could think and be really alone. Something had been on the Turk’s mind forever, and staying in his assigned bunk space with Rude didn’t make it any easier.

“Arg! Fuck!” he yelled, balling up a piece of paper and throwing it across the room with a pile of others. “I just can’t find the fucking words!” grumbled the redhead, pulling the tie out of his hair and shaking it loose in his frustration. Reno pulled on his tie and undid another couple buttons on his shirt. The feeling of his emotions bottled up made everything feel tighter on him.

If he could count everything that made his life hard, it would be on one raised middle finger. Above all else, Reno had the hardest time expressing his true feelings without them being bowled over by snide comments and lewd innuendo that got him more rolled eyes than respect. Yet, he was still a Turk because of his fighting prowess and technical skills, and that was all that truly mattered in the Shinra Electric Company. That fact alone was the one thing the redhead never really liked. His communications classes in training were designed to teach Reno (as well as the others who had made it so far in the Turks) how to veil messages in order to throw off espionage. Writing skills were technical courses in writing field manuals and filling out reports, not exploring expression through language.

And so, Reno sat, scratching his head over a new piece of paper. What he had been trying to confess to office stationery was his real feelings for his partner. But the ink was running low in his pen, forcing him to ditch his regular pen and use a novelty pen that Elena had bought him as a joke. Sighing, Reno picked up the pen and looked at it. It was a ridiculous toy from the casino; a little golden Chocobo sat atop a tiny spring and bobbled back and forth as Reno swirled it on a scrap of paper to see if the ink even ran in it. A bright line of glittery blue ink left a trail on his sticky note, indicating the novelty pen did indeed work.

“Ah well… if I use another handwriting, Rude will never know…” smirked the redhead, switching his pen to his left hand. Forging handwritten documents was something every Turk had in their back pocket, and Reno figured changing up his style might make him feel more relaxed. Exposing one’s truest feelings for another was certainly a hard task.

The Chocobo bobbled up and down as Reno tapped the pen against his polished desk, his hand resting on his chin with thought. “Better make this shot good…” he said, staring at the page in front of him.

Then, as if a muse, sent by Cupid, had come to the Turk and whispered into his ear, the redheaded young man started writing. A wide grin crossed Reno’s face as he wrote left handed, the style quite different than the blocky chicken scratches that usually cluttered up his daily reports and signatures. When it was all done, he sat back to read over his work, grinning almost maniacally as he silently gushed over his creation.

Reno leaned his pen over the written work, about to sign the poem with his name when he froze. Did he really want Rude to know all this, immediately? Maybe he would leave it anonymous. A giddy expression crossed his face as he drew a swirly signature on the love note, inscribing it with “Your Secret Admirer.”

“Just right… now to really throw him off track…” Reno rummaged through his desk and pulled out a can of body spray he had swiped from Tseng’s desk, letting a mist of a spicy Asian scent coat the glittery love letter before he rolled his lips together and left a puckered kiss mark. The Turk had on just enough lip balm to leave a distinct print beneath the flourished signature.

“There! Perfect! Elena’s stupid pen,” he paused, giving the little bouncy Chocobo an appreciated kiss on the head, “Tseng’s cologne and my balm. If he figures out he’s me, I’ll be even more impressed than I already am!” said the Turk with a laugh. Picking up his things, Reno folded the letter and stuffed it into an envelope, forging the same handwriting he had used to compose his sneaky note of affection.

“Rude won’t see this coming!” Reno whispered to himself, practically skipping from his office to deliver the letter to Rude’s inbox. Once his mission was complete, Reno snuck into his assigned quarters very quietly, making his way to his own bedroom, stifling ecstatic giggles the whole time.

Morning came too early for the redhead, who rolled out of bed with a yawn. Scratching his behind, Reno idly picked out a pair of Cactuar boxers, slipping them on along with a pair of sweat pants. For once, Reno and Rude were given a day off, and the redhead had already warned his partner that he had no intentions of getting anymore dressed than that.

“Yo, Rude! Buddy, is the coffee ready?” called the Turk from his room. Reno listened for a response, but none came. Raising an eyebrow, he looked into the main part of their quarters, finding it very quiet with no bald head in sight. “Huh… musta went to get the mail…” Reno froze in his tracks, stopped near the half-wall that divided the living room from the kitchen. A Cheshire grin crossed his pale face and Reno could hardly wait for Rude to return.

Coffee was bubbling and brewing by the time Rude came back, dressed down as much as Reno was, however, the tanned Turk had the decency to put on a white wife-beater before going to get their mail. He threw the mail onto the counter and perched on their couch without so much as a second look to Reno, no more words than a single: “Morning.”

Reno sipped his coffee, wondering if Rude had gotten his letter, but too terrified (or proud of his clever rouse) to ask his partner if Rude had gotten it. Instead, Reno opted to sift through the remaining mail nonchalantly, until he came across a letter addressed to himself in a glittering ink.

“What the…?” asked the redhead quietly, wondering if, in the heat of the moment, he had written his own name on the love letter instead of the man who sat watching Shinra sponsored television just feet away. About to say something more, Reno realized that it was not his letter, but a different one entirely. The handwriting was different and unrecognizable, and the ink - that was his bigger clue - was not blue, but purple.

Wild blue eyes darted over to the back of Rude’s head. The taller man did not even seem to notice what he was doing as Reno carefully threaded a finger under the envelope’s seal and tore it open, pulling out a letter in more unfamiliar handwriting and purple glitter ink.

Pulling out the letter inside, it smelled of something familiar… Elena’s perfume that she normally reserved for special Shinra functions. Reno raised his eyebrows in mild disgust, worried that his blonde comrade might have been the author of such a work as he began reading softly to himself. It was not that he had no feelings for the girl, but she definitely was not his type. Quietly, he began to read aloud to himself:

“Although it’s hard to tell you what I can’t say,
Although I’ve tried before,
I find my tongue stilled
Whenever you look my way.
I know this probably sounds corny,
And the delivery is lame,
It will never, ever change the fact
That my feelings are the same.
Every time I’m without you,
I feel like I could cry.
Every time I’m with you,
I feel like I can fly.
I don’t think you’ve seen me staring
My beautiful redhead,
But I think I’d be lost without you
The only thing I dread.
If only I could look at you
And somehow keep my voice
I’d tell you that in all the world,
You are my only choice.

I love you Reno,
Forever and always,
I will continue to love you
Beyond the end of days.”

Reno blinked at the sweet, somewhat sappy poem, and then looked up to where Rude had been sitting. The taller man was gone from the couch. The redhead’s hands shook as he looked down at the letter again, then a thought occurred to him - he had not read the last meter alone. Rude’s deep voice had doubled over his by the end. Reno’s face turned pink as he felt strong hands run over his shoulders and down his arms to place the letter created the previous night on top of Reno’s received letter. The wiry Turk felt his body melt as Rude’s smooth, deep tones recited the letter Reno had composed in the throes of artistic love.

“Many nights have I known my mysterious man,
An exotic, handsome king of my heart,
A god among mortals, the leading man
To a romance tale yet unwritten.
Many nights have I wanted your body on top of mine
Too long have I waited for someone like you
To come into my life, to sweep me away,
To carry me into a world of bliss
Uncharted, unknown, and untamed.
How many nights have I watched you slumber?
How many nights have I wanted your lips against mine?
How many nights have I cried for you?
Too many.
I have desired you for far too long,
And my heart has pined for your embrace,
My body trembles at the mere whispers of your voice.
You speak, and I will listen.
You command, and I will obey.
You touch me, my body will light on fire.
You kiss me and I will be yours forever.
My dear, handsome, Rude.
Be my exotic prince.
Be the king of my heart.
Take me in your arms, my love.
And let me show you all I have wanted to
For so many nights.”

Reno’s face was flushed. He swallowed the lump in his throat, feeling a strong muscular body pinning him against the counter. The pair of letters were pushed aside as Reno’s hands splayed across the countertop, his body shaking as he felt Rude’s lips traveling all around his neck.

“Oh, God, Rude…” whispered the redhead, strong hands gliding up the thinner man’s pale body. Reno could feel Rude’s excitement pressing into his backside, making the experience all the more heated to him.

“Is this what you wanted, Reno?” whispered Rude, the silken words sending happy chills down Reno’s spine. At first, all the redhead could do was nod mutely.

“How… how did you know it was me?” asked the shorter man, feeling his breathe being stolen away by Rude’s lips sucking on the side of his neck.

“I found a long red hair folded inside the letter… which was a relief because I don’t want anyone else but you.” The bald man slipped a hand underneath the lining of Reno’s pants, caressing the red head’s thighs, making Reno grip the counter in fright of his legs giving out from underneath him.

“Rude… oh, Rude… we need… bed! Now!” grunted the shorter Turk, earning a laugh from his new lover. Rude scooped Reno into his arms and carted the redhead away like a cherished prize, into Rude’s bedroom, where he made Reno fulfill that which he had promised: to show Rude what he had desired for so many nights.