Easing the Pain

Chapter 1

Squall poured himself more whiskey, already feeling the numbing effects from the first two glasses he had already swallowed down. Alcohol wasn't allowed in the Garden, and he wasn't one to drink, but desperate times called for desperate measures. He wasn't drunk, and it probably wouldn't get that far because he liked to keep a clear head, even though he would rather forget right now. He had let himself be used, and had allowed her to bring out emotions that he had thought he would never show anyone. In the end, she had gotten what she wanted from him. Protection from harm. Now Rinoa was through with him, having tossed him away like so much garbage.

It was the month anniversary since that day she left, taking his heart with her. He had blocked out everyone, keeping to himself and going back to his lone wolf persona. It was a lesson learned as far as he was concerned. Never give your heart to anyone because you'll only have it crushed. In full force his friends had tried to get through to him, but he wasn't having any of that shit, not ever again. Love was a farce, nothing more. Damn if he was ever going to let himself feel that again.

He sipped the strong whiskey, crunching on a small chip of ice as he let himself slip further into the memories. As hard as he tried, he still couldn't stop thinking about her. The indifference she had shown him as she walked out on him that day. He still felt the pain, but he had ways to block it. Sparring with Seifer was one of them.

The blond ex-knight had been allowed to return to Garden after it had been determined that Ultimecia had been controlling him. Some still believed it was Seifer doing it on his own, but Squall knew better. He had stood face to face with the sorceress, and knew how powerful she had been. It was strange. Seifer was really the only one he had bothered talking to since Rinoa left. Maybe that was because Seifer knew the sorceress as well as he did. She had broken his heart first after all.

The sound of knocking on his quarters door made him grimace. He wasn't in the mood to be bothered. "Go away!" he called out, sighing when the knocker continued regardless. "Dammit, what now?" he hissed, and relented to his anonymous visitor's demands by getting up to answer their insistent hammering.

"Are we sulking again, Commander?" Seifer grinned obnoxiously, pushing his way inside before Squall could protest. "I want to spar, let's go," he said, picking up Squall's half drained glass and gulping down the rest of it's contents, hissing with the slight burning sensation as it went down his throat. "Smooth," he chuckled when the moody brunette gave him an annoyed look.

"I'm not in the mood," Squall said, crossing his arms stubbornly.

"Why am I not surprised?" Seifer said with disgust as he plopped down on the nearest chair. Squall went back to the table, sitting down to fill his glass for the fourth time. "So, what are your plans for the day?" he asked. "To sit here and get shitfaced while you think about what that bitch did to you?"

Squall gave him a warning look, but said nothing, taking a deep swallow of the burgundy liquid, letting it's potency wash through his veins. He knew Seifer was trying to help, but it was a useless endeavor today. He didn't want to get drunk, he just wanted to relax. Was that too much to ask?

"Come on, Squall. I might even let you win," Seifer quipped.

"I usually do win, and it's not because you let me," Squall said, idly running his thumb over the droplets of water that had condensed on the outside of his glass.

"Really? Then why don't you get off your ass and prove it?" Seifer said, tapping his fingers on the armrest with a condensing smirk on his lips. Squall knew what Seifer was doing, but even with that knowledge he still felt that need to take that challenge. It had always been that way between the two of them, even when they were children.

"Fine," he said, pushing the chair back roughly as he stood. "Meet me in the field outside the Garden in fifteen minutes," he said, feeling the sudden urge to fight.

"Now that's more like it," Seifer said, getting up and going out the door with a triumphant grin.

"Asshole," Squall muttered when he was gone, heading for the bedroom to change clothes and grab his gunblade. He couldn't deny that he was grateful that Seifer had shown up. I good sparring session was just what he needed, even though he wouldn't admit it to the blond. He had a feeling that Seifer knew anyway because he had an uncanny way of showing up for a friendly fight when he was thinking about the raven haired sorceress.

Squall fastened the last of his belts before sliding Lion Heart in it's sheath at his side. As an afterthought, be grabbed a few small bottles of healing potion from his first aid kit. It wasn't unknown for he and Seifer to wound each other during a sparring session, and the scars they both had on their faces was only one example.

Seifer was waiting for him patiently as he walked out to meet him in the open field. The blond was relaxing, laying out on the grassy earth as he looked up at the afternoon sky. He leaned up on his elbow to watch Squall approach him with a cocky smirk plastered on his face.

"About time, Leonhart," he said, getting up off the ground and brushing a few blades of grass off his coat.

"Learn how to tell time, Almasy. I said fifteen minutes, and that's how long it took for me to get here," Squall scowled, pulling out his weapon with lightning speed. Seifer was ready, just blocking Squall's swipe with his own blade.

No more words, except for an occasional curse or yell, passed between them as they blocked and attacked with a fury that was a normal sparring session with them. Muscles worked and strained, sweat and blood was shed, and it went on until Seifer stumbled back, clutching his arm with a pained grimace. Squall pulled back, sheathing his blade and pulling out a potion to toss to the blond who was chuckling with harsh breaths.

"Feel better now?" Seifer asked after he emptied the bottle, tossing it back to Squall who caught it with a quick swipe of his hand.

"What does it matter?" Squall asked, sitting down on the ground as his own breath calmed. Seifer shook his head, sheathing his own blade. He stepped over, sitting next to Squall who was picking at blades of grass with an empty expression on his face. He still couldn't believe the cold ice prince was being so affected by the aloof sorceress.

"Get over it, man. She's gone," he said. "I say you're better off."

"What the fuck would you know about it, Almasy?" Squall said with a stormy look in his eyes. Seifer knew he was holding back his fury, but he pushed further.

"I know you need to get out of this damn funk. The bitch isn't worth this shit!"

"Bastard!" Squall clipped his chin with a hard punch that knocked him back. "Stop calling her that!" he shouted, attacking with a flurry of quick jabs and punches. Seifer got his barrings after the first shock past, throwing a few punches of his own as they rolled along the ground, wrestling each other for control. The where both strong, but Seifer used his bigger size to his advantage, pinning the Commander down with his weight when he managed to get on top of him.

"Stop it, Squall, dammit!" After a short struggle, he was able to catch Squall's wrist to pin them down, but he kept fighting, bucking his body to try knocking him off. Squall managed a shot with his knee, that luckily only caught Seifer's inner thigh, missing his intended target. "Son of a bitch," the blond hissed. He felt a shot of fury, and he threw his head forward with a quick movement, smacking Squall in the forehead. That's all it took, and Squall stopped struggling, blinking his eyes and hissing in a daze of surprised pain.

"Shit, that hurt," he said, clenching his teeth as he relaxed his body in defeat.

"Good. You tried to bust my jewels, you asshole," Seifer growled, not letting up on his grip in case Squall was playing possum. He needn't have worried, because Squall had no more fight left as he lay there catching his breath that had become harsh again during their struggle.

Seifer's own breath slowly became even again as he watched Squall's face. His eyes were closed, and his face lost it's intensity as he calmed down. Seifer wasn't really aware that he was taking every detail of Squall's face in, but he was. His eyelashes were long, enhancing his blue green eyes. His lips were full and slightly parted as he took slow breaths. The scar that he himself had put there was the last thing he let his eyes wander over. He didn't know why he did it, but he released one of Squall's wrists, moving his hand to his face, running his forefinger over the scar with a light touch.

Squall's eyes flew open with the unexpected touch. "What are you doing?" he asked, his voice rough, but he didn't struggle, whether from shock or uncertainty, Seifer didn't know. He wasn't sure himself, so he had no answer for the brunette, and he shook his head slightly, licking his lips that felt suddenly dry. He became aware of how comfortable it felt being on top of Squall, like they fit perfectly. He watched Squall's throat work as he swallowed thickly, and he was aware that the Commander's breath was coming faster once again. Desire, was the first word that came to Seifer's mind as he watched Squall's eyes get heavily lidded.

What's going on? Squall thought, feeling a heat rising in his body that had nothing to do with the sparring session he and Seifer just had. Seifer was looking at him in a way that he had only seen Rinoa give him in happier times. He lifted his gloved hand, caressing Seifer's face that was flushed pink. He found himself wishing he didn't have this damn glove on so he could feel the texture of his skin. He watched the tip of Seifer's tongue snake out again to run over his lips.

"Seifer," he whispered, and lips were crushed together before he could utter another word. It was soft and chaste, but filled with more heated desire than any kiss he had ever shared with Rinoa. Being bold, Squall parted his lips, flicking his tongue across Seifer's to coax him into a deeper kiss. He was rewarded with a low moan, and the feel of Seifer's slick tongue caressing every part of his mouth. For the first time in a month, Squall wasn't thinking about the woman who had broken his heart, losing himself in the sensual kiss that filled all his senses.