Break Me Down

Rating: NC-17
Pairing: one-sided Cloud+Sephiroth, Cloud/Reno
Author’s Note: I was attempting to write the sequel to my one sided Reno/Rufus fic, but while looking for the inspiration, this came along. Blame my extremely odd taste in music. Inspired by “The Kill” by 30 Seconds to Mars.
I'm channeling emo!Cloud, but I might stop the angst soon.
Warning: NOT WORK SAFE, Angst, SPOILERS (Major for Advent Children, some for game), violence, language, character death, anal, oral, handjob
Summary: Cloud can't deal with his nightly torture and decides to clear his head, a redheaded turk is sent after him.

Break Me Down
"What if I wanted to break / Laugh it all off in your face / What would you do? (Oh, oh) / What if I fell to the floor / Couldn't take all this anymore / What would you do, do, do?
"Come break me down / Bury me, bury me / I am finished with you
"What if I wanted to fight / Beg for the rest of my life / What would you do? / You say you wanted more / What are you waiting for? / I'm not running from you (from you)
"Come break me down / Bury me, bury me / I am finished with you / Look in my eyes / You're killing me, killing me / All I wanted was you
"I tried to be someone else / But nothing seemed to change / I know now, this is who I really am inside. / Finally found myself / Fighting for a chance. / I know now, this is who I really am.
"Ah, ah / Oh, oh / Ah, ah
"Come break me down / Bury me, bury me / I am finished with you, you, you. / Look in my eyes / You're killing me, killing me / All I wanted was you
"Come break me down (bury me, bury me) / Break me down (bury me, bury me) / Break me down (bury me, bury me)
"(You say you wanted more) / What if I wanted to break...? / (What are you waiting for?) / Bury me, bury me / (I'm not running from you) / What if I / What if I / What if I / What if I / Bury me, bury me"
--"The Kill" 30 Seconds to Mars

The sword slammed through my right shoulder, the long blade disappearing through my body before emerging on the other side and pinning me to the dirty metal wall of the old Shinra building. The pain erupted quickly and spread like fire along my nerve endings, as if not believing what happened, I looked down at the blade pinning me through my unprotected shoulder and followed it up to the smirking, long haired man holding the six foot blade.

"Tell me what you cherish most, give me the pleasure of taking it away," Sephiroth said smirking.

Images ran through my head as I gripped the blade of the sword in my gloved left hand, Aeries, Zack, Marlene, Tifa, Denzel, my friends, Sephiroth. I pull the sword out, purely from determination not to lose. I wasn't a puppet; I wasn't going to be a puppet ever again.

Stabbing the sword back into the wall behind me I stood and swung the sword, trying to finish the fight before I let my own selfishness win. Sephiroth leapt back as if he saw the move coming, he probably did, after all. "I pity you," I say, answering his question and attempting to prevent myself from saying exactly what I cherish the most, "you just don't get it at all."

He shifted his stance and his hands, reversing them, as he rushes towards me, again. I parry the blow and then give chase as his momentum carries him through the miss. "There's not a thing I don't cherish," I say as we leap into the air. I decide to finish this quickly and release my ultimate move on him. It's over before he can even figure out what I'm doing.

Landing, I catch my red handled sword as the others fall around me. I look up and say, as the sky clears, "Stay where you belong, in my memories."

He looks down at me, a single black feathered wing emerging from his back, "I will, never be a memory," the wing wraps around him and as the feathers fly into the wind--

Cloud suddenly sat up, clutching his forehead in the darkness of the room. A nightmare, another nightmare. He had been having the same nightmare nightly for a week since his last encounter with the former general. Every night the same routine, he'd try to get some sleep, have the nightmare and stay up the rest of the night counting the cracks in the ceiling, or staring at a close up of the pillowcase. The only thing he never stared at were the sets of swords in their racks flanking his bed, the swords that he used to kill the man he loved.

At a week of no sleep, stealing naps that were interrupted by the guilt ridden dreams of terror, even his mako enhanced body was protesting to the conditions. Deciding that a ride on his motorcycle would clear his mind so that he could get some sleep, he hadn't been out riding in a week, after all, he got up and threw on his clothes. Cloud grabbed a couple of his swords, deciding to leave most of the set there, he exited the room and headed downstairs.

The bar was closed at this hour, not that he cared, he would have left anyways. Going out the back he found his motorcycle parked in the alley, chained to a metal bar protruding from the wall. He unlocked the chain and caught it in his hand before stowing it in the storage compartment on the bike. Pressing a button, after the chain and lock was stored, his sword compartments sprang open and the racks slid out, he put the two swords he had grabbed into these compartments, before closing it with another push of the same button.

Cloud climbed onto the bike and started the engine. The large machine roared to life with the turn of the key. Cloud didn't waste anytime allowing it to warm up before kicking the kickstand up and peeling out of the alley with a screech of the tires.

Up in her room, Tifa watched the blond warrior leave, feeling sadness wash over her. With no regards for the time, she picked up the phone and dialed a number that she had only gotten a week ago, and the number of a person who could, if needed, protect Cloud from himself with his attitude alone.

Cloud drove out of Edge and around to the crude memorial he had set to Zack, but as soon as he got there he realized that it wasn't where he wanted to be. With a glance at the sword, Cloud peeled away from the cliff and down towards Midgar. The slums were quite, but they almost always were these day. Only bandits and outlaws stayed in Midgar now, and they knew to stay away from the blond warrior if they valued their lives.

The motorcycle rolled to a stop in front of a rotting, dilapidated church in the Section 5 slums. Broken stain glass windows depicting scenes from an unknown religion glittered in the headlight as Cloud sat the kickstand down and turned off the engine. No one in the slums was stupid enough to touch the blond's motorcycle, so he didn't bother chaining it up, but he did withdraw a sword from its compartment.

The door creaked as he opened it and the smell of mold assaulted his nose. The blond strode forward footsteps echoing on the hardwood floor. The pond had receded to a smaller side and already small shoots were poking from the ground surrounding it, the flowers were returning. The blond dropped to his knees as if a tremendous weight had settled on top of him at the edge of the flower bed.

Tears that he refused to shed welled up in his eyes. "You did what you had to," a male voice said behind him as another set of footsteps echoed towards him. The other speaker knelt next to him, facing him, he turned his head to the red headed Turk who looked to awake for three in the morning.

"Why are you?" he asked, bitterly.

"Don't bite my head off, Strife," Reno answered. "I'm here because Tifa is worried about you."

"I can protect myself," Cloud snapped back.

"From yourself?" Reno asked, all the normal joking out of his voice so that it sounded almost gentle.

Cloud was quite at that, and for once Reno joined him in silence. The Turk turned away from the blond who was still staring at him and sat crossed legged before the altar. Cloud stared at him his mind running through hundreds of possibilities of why he was really there, before the Turk decided to break the silence, "You have every right to be just as selfish as the next person, you don't need to ask permission to get what you want. In fact, I think you have more right than anyone."

"What if what I want is gone, and I can't get it back, no matter how much I try," Cloud whispered.

"You move on, find something or someone else you want, or find someone who will help you forget until you find a new desire," Reno said, "at least that's what I've been doing most of my life."

"Forgetting? Easy for you to say, you don't wake up from nightmares every time you attempt to sleep," Cloud said bitterly.

"Only because I drink so much alcohol that I pass out and can't wake from the nightmares."

"And what do you have nightmares about?" The bitter blond continued.

"A lot of things, my mother, where I got these scars," he gestured towards his face, "but mostly Section 7 and all the innocent people I killed because it was my job."

They lapsed into silence, Cloud warring with himself and Reno berating himself. Finally Cloud whispered, "I'm sorry."

Reno's head shot toward the blond who was now staring down at his hands, he wasn't even sure the blond had been talking to him, but decided to answer anyways, "You have nothing to apologize for."

Tears welled again in the blonde's eyes. One fell and splashed on his hand, Reno watched with tenderness as the tears that the ex-SOLDIER had been holding in finally fell. Finally he got tired of just watching and inched closer to Cloud before carefully reaching out and hugging him.

Suddenly the blonde's lips mashed against the red-head's. Reno was shocked and his eyes widened, but he didn't push the blond away, instead he responded to the kiss by pushing his lips against Cloud's.

Hands, wet with tears, hastily removed clothing, clumsily unbuttoning Reno's shirt and pants, before running against a naked chest. Reno wasn't sure about this, but he went with the flow and began unzipping and removing Cloud's sword harness and shirt as the other man licked his lips. Reno opened his mouth and followed Cloud's lead, following the other's tongue around before the kiss was broken and he found himself being pressed against the rotting floor.

It wasn't the best place he'd ever had sex, but it was by far not the worst, and the blond above him was certainly good looking, anyways. Reno knew this wasn't going to amount for anything, Cloud was mentally distraught and trying to forget his woes in Reno's body, and Reno was going to lay back and enjoy it. The blond was kissing his way down Reno's body, licking and nipping at random spots along the way while Reno ran his hands up and down the angsty Chocobo's back.

The blond's hands worked on the button and zipper of his pants. He felt them release and lifted his hips for the blond to pull them down. The blond shimmied down his legs, pulling his shoes and socks off before fully removing the pants. Reno's boxers were the only article of clothing keeping his modesty in tact, but soon those were lost as well.

Cloud paused from his position, kneeling between Reno's legs at the red head's feet, his gaze traveling up the red head's body before meeting the Turk's gaze. "See anything you like?" Reno couldn't help but ask.

Cloud licked his lips, removing his boots, socks, pants, and finally boxers. Reno was disappointed this would probably only be a one-night stand, the blond was definitely well equipped. He wondered if it was the mako enhancements or if he was like this before, but decided not to ask as the blonde's mouth dived forward engulfing Reno's erection without warning.

Reno cried out in shock and pleasure. The other man brought a hand around the dick his mouth was wrapped around and Reno watched, a lazy, lusty look in his eyes as Cloud wetted his fingers with his own saliva while giving Reno a very nice blow job. Pulling his fingers from his mouth and from around the red-head's erection, Cloud nudged Reno's thighs apart and pushed the saliva soaked hand under Reno's body. A finger traced along the crack of Reno's ass, looking for the hole that he knew to be there. After what felt like an eternity to Reno, Cloud found the hole and pushed his finger up it, the only warning being his head, which had swallowed the red-head's erection completely, coming up so that he was only mouthing the tip.

There was good reason for this maneuver as the red head jerked his hips up, pushing his erection back into Cloud's mouth. Cloud's other hand pushed Reno's hips back down as his tongue swirled around Reno's hard cock just as his finger swirled around inside Reno's asshole. A second finger was quickly added as Cloud tongued the slit that was starting to leak pre-cum. Fingers scissored within the red-head as Cloud's tongue flicked back and forth as he bobbed his head up and down around Reno's impossibly hard dick.

Cloud finally pulled back and spit more on his hand, wetting his own erection with his saliva, this was going to be rough, but Reno didn't mind rough, he'd only wish Cloud would say something, but the blond was impossibly silent, he hadn't even moaned or groaned, not like Reno. Reno moaned and groaned like a whore.

Cloud pushed Reno's thighs apart and looked up, mako blue eyes locked with blue-green eyes before shoving fully into the red-head in one smooth, fast motion. The red-head's scream of pain was swallowed by an apologetic mouth which kissed him so deeply that Reno thought Cloud was trying to eat him. The pain sub-sided as the Cloud released his mouth and said, "Sorry, Reno."

Reno was surprised, he honestly didn't expect his name to come out of Cloud, but he replied, "Its okay, I've had worst, now move."

Cloud let a small smile form on his lips as he slowly pulled back and thrust in switching his angle looking for--Reno moaned, but from pleasure as Cloud found the spot on his inner walls that pushed against his prostate. Cloud kept the angle as it was, hitting that one spot with every thrust of his hips. Cloud groaned and panted, looking down, Reno realized he was watching his own dick slide in and out of Reno's ass. He didn't know why that thought was hot, it just was.

Cloud was indeed watching himself slide in and out of the red-head's ass and finding himself getting closer to the edge. He balanced himself on one hand as he wrapped a hand around Reno's erection, pumping it in time with his thrusts. As he pushed forward he pumped down, as he pulled out he pumped up.

Reno was moaning Cloud's name and a bunch of nonsensical noises that might have been words, while pushing back against Cloud. Cloud leaned forward and captured Reno's mouth in a kiss. Reno suddenly broke the kiss shouting Cloud's name as he came all over their stomachs, his inner walls clamping down around Cloud. It wasn't much longer before Cloud gasped, "Reno," and came within the red-head's pulsing anus.

Cloud collapsed, sweaty and sticky, on top of Reno. With what little strength he had he slid himself free of Reno's sore ass with a wet sound flop. Reno hated the feel of cum seeping out of him, but he didn't as long as Cloud was satisfied.

Cloud was panting and looked like he was about to pass out, but he looked up into Reno's eyes and said, "I'm being selfish, I'm taking what I want for once." With that said he did pass out, naked, right on top of Reno. Reno rolled his eyes and glanced up at the ceiling before putting his arms around Cloud and allowing himself to follow the blond into Morpheus' embrace.