Decadence and debauchery, the lost chapters

D&D, lost chapter, Cloud&Yazoo


A/n: Songfic, ‘Bottom’, Tool. i called Aerith like this, even though she isnt in this chapter, Aerith is an anagram of 'í earth' which signifies her as the inheritor of the planet. i liked it, so i used it.

Not beta-red. Square Enix owns all.


**My compassion is broken now
My will is eroded now
My desire is broken now
And it makes me feel ugly**

Cloud looked at the still sleeping form beside him, not knowing how to feel.

Things had settled down again now the world was once again, safe. For the moment at least. For the first time in his life had he know something that very closely resembled peace, the feeling of home all around as he now regularly visited Tifa and the kids.

….Than HE had turned up, totally out of the blue, causing upheaval in everything….

He now was finally capable of accepting their love, feeling that he had earned it, somehow. The innocent affection of Marlene and Denzel, as the flew around his neck when he made a quick pit stop at the bar while making deliveries, gave a warm tingle in his heart he had only experienced when he had been with Zach or Earith.

He had found peace in their deaths now, as he found a way to allow him to always sense their presence, just hovering on the edges of the peripheral vision of his ghost.


He rested, flat on his back on the broken wooden floor of Earith’s church, and mulled over the events over the last two days.

Still needing the seclusion every now and then, as children would still turn up from time to time. More victims of the Geostigma that had heard of the healing properties of the spring that now constantly bubbled and glimmered in crater Kadaj’s attack had left. He tended them all, when he was there, and he had left a note on the door, saying the place was open to all who needed it. They had stopped coming now, and he enjoyed the peace and quiet.

He took off his boots and unclasped his bedroll, getting ready for the night. Suddenly the soft creaking of hinges that desperately needing oiling groaned through the still air. A chilled gale blew through the open door, littering the floor with fallen leaves and pieces of paper.
A voice carried in on it, cold and unsympathetic. …..hhaaahhh.. brother…. It breathed, making the small flame in his oil lamp flicker and the hair on the back of his neck and arms stand on end.

Oh fuck.. Now what? Cloud moaned inwardly, as he quickly got to his feet, and grabbed his sword. He walked to the door, and shut it firmly, sliding the bolt across. You are going stir crazy, Strife. He reprimanded himself. You have had so many months without any monsters or other villains to fight, so now you start to make up some of your own? That is pathetic! He padded back to his waiting bed, and turned the small light off.

~*^-^*~


**I’m on my knees and burning
My piss and moans are fuel that
Set my head on fire
So smell my soul is burning**

He had found him again. Kadaj had told him that big brother slept in a church, when he had sent Loz to find him. Poor Loz. After Kadaj went back to the life stream, he had never been the same.. The lacking sense of purpose had driven him mad, as even the simple mechanics of the big man’s mind needed a task, but Yazoo had none to offer.

Yazoo had been desperate himself without Kadaj’s constant steering. He had always sensed his brother’s complicated inner voice within him, intertwining with his own mental mazes, complementing him, and making him whole. The whole Mother thing had been a little lost on him, as he had always known that Kadaj would be the one to finally merge, and that he and Loz were there to help him reach his goal, their goal.

Loz had been in agony, as Geostigma, once kept at bay by sheer willpower alone, now ran rampant through his body, wrecking him with pain. The damage had spread not only in his flesh, but his mind as well. Finally one night, when Yazoo had given in to his body’s need for sleep had sunk into darkness for a few fleeting hours, a shot had rang out. His heart racing in his chest, he had run outside of the forgotten city, and had found Loz. The side of face and body drenched in blood, Velvet Nightmare in his hand. Yazoo had cradled Loz’s still body in his arms, and dragged it into the stream. But unlike his brother, his body hadn’t dissolved. He had wondered at that, and had finally concluded that maybe his brother simply wasn’t welcome in the life stream. Too much evil had festered within, too many atrocities committed, he mused.

He had dragged the waterlogged body back inside and laid it on a large raised slab of rock. At least all the blood had been washed off, and Loz did look rather peaceful now.

At first he had mourned, letting loneliness eat away at his insides until he felt utterly empty.
Then he made a decision. He had no clear idea of what it would be like, or how he would go about it, but he would find him again. The one thing he had always kept hidden from his brothers, cherishing like it a precious token, this stolen moment.

His encounters with.. him. The one he had met and tormented when they where all locked in the bowels of the Shinra mansion together.

He had found him. There he was, all naked and defenceless on his bedroll. He lay on his stomach as he peered down through the massive hole in the roof. He had to be careful not to accidentally knock broken pieces of wood and shingle into the pool below, which would have immediately alerted the blond to his presence. He could almost smell him, feel the soft hair between his fingers… Kadaj had always demanded all his attention and energy, and afterward he had charged himself with looking after Loz. They were all gone now, and he was left to his own devices.

“Are you lonely, brother?.” he whispered to the slumbering form directly beneath. He gently started to push his hips against the roof, imagining having the body under him again.
“I know you have been, and still are..” feeling his need build, he pulled the sides of his coat, making the zipper come undone, and exposing his chest. Then having unbuttoned his pants, he laid down on his hands, thrusting in slowly. He never took his eyes of big brother, who moaned and tossed in his sleep. “Oh.. You can feel me, can’t you?” Yazoo panted, his head hanging over the edge as he fisted his cock, becoming so hard, so big.

Small drops of saliva started to form on the seam of his mouth, forming tendrils that elongated down.. more and more, as he the tips of his fingers trailed and teased his tip. He gathered the pre-cum on his fingertips, bringing it to his mouth, tasting himself.. Oh the last time he had tasted it was when Kadaj was still alive, driven mad with desire after having another of his dreams about father.. the memory of that event was enough as he unloaded on the church roof.. Oh how desperate he had wanted it to be Cloud’s tongue that now received the fruits of his lust as he pissed his seed on the rough broken shingles. A large drop of saliva broke free of the string that hung from his lips, and as it descended, he sent his desire to the blond below him. It hit him on the temple, and he awoke with a start. He sat up and looking around him.

Yazoo had retracted his head just in time, and rocked back on his knees as he closed his pants and coat. He tried to still his rapid breathing, as he was afraid the blond would hear him.
Pain shot through the side, as the large dark purple welt over his ribs and hip got aggravated by the rapid movements of his chest. He couldn’t hold it in any longer. He moaned loudly before collapsing, writhing in agony, and accidentally pushed several large shards of rubble over the edge, he heard the splashing noises they made in the pool below just before he passed out.

**I am broken, looking up to see the enemy
And I have swallowed the poison you have feed me
But I survive on it and it leaves me..
Guilt fed, hatred fed, weakness fed
And it makes me feel ugly**

Cloud jumped out of his bedroll and pulled on his pants. He hadn’t imagined the drop hitting him in the head or the moan he heard just before something fell into the water beside him. Something or someone was on the roof. He ran up the slanting pillar that had been knocked sideways by Kadaj when he had made his escape out of the roof. He arrived at the top and leapt up, sword held high, but found no one. He walked over to where he noticed markings in the dust, and followed them. He climbed a slight rise, and as he approached the spine of the roof he thought he saw a shape. The sun was now climbing over the mountains in the east, casting its hesitant golden reddish light, and then he discovered the still leather-clad form of Yazoo.

He shook his head in disbelief. He thought he had killed him, in that final blast on top of the Shinra building ruins, yet there he was. He walked over to the unconscious body, and nudged it gingerly with his toe, but after several severe pokes, he still got no response. He used his foot to tip the body over, and could now see by the pallid colouring of his cheeks, that he was seriously sick.

What the fuck was he supposed to do now. He wasn’t going to kill a defenceless enemy. Then he spotted the shiny wet patch of spilt semen on the dull surface of the shingles. He had jerked off here on the roof, while he slept, as he himself had been totally unaware of his presence. Or was he? He had had a very strange dream during the night, but he couldn’t quite grasp what it had been about. After checking the man’s pulse by gently pressing is fingers to his throat, he had found his heartbeat slow and irregular. He lifted the unconscious silver head in his arms, and carried him down, the same way he had come up.

He untied the gun belts strapped across his chest, and hid them. Then he undid the coat, so he could get a clearer look at what was ailing the young man. The huge darkened patch of Geostigma afflicted flesh made him wince inwardly. It was actually a quite miracle that he was still alive, as he had seen welts that big on bodies before, but they had already succumbed to the disease. Then the silverhead moaned softly and his eyes fluttered open. He sat up with a start, and looked around for his weapons.

“Don’t bother. I have hidden them very well.” The blond said, as he rummaged in is pack. Yazoo was surprised at how relaxed the man seemed. Confident and strong. The last time he had encountered him, he had struggled to keep him and his brothers at bay, as they had fought to give Kadaj the time to get away with Mother’s cells. He had beaten them then, destroying Loz’s motorcycle. Then the explosion had happened as they saw Kadaj’s defeated body being embraced by the life stream.

Rage and loss had engulfed him and he had shot the blond in the back, determined to take him down, and if not so, die trying. His whole body had ached and seared as the healing rain touched his fevered skin, and beside himself pain within and without, had welcomed the explosion of energy that big brother’s fury had unleashed. How he and Loz had been thrown clear, was beyond his comprehension, and it had taken them a whole year just to get strong enough again to venture out of their hiding place.

He tried to get up, but as he pushed himself into a sitting position, he felt the air around his throat move as the tip of the buster sword hovered at his chest. “Don’t get any funny ideas, remnant.” Cloud said. “I could have killed you, easily.”

“I could have too, last night.” Yazoo snapped under his breath. The base blade opened with a loud metallic snap, as Cloud twisted the handle. Yazoo smiled slightly at him. “It seems like you and I have unfinished business, and we both know it.”

**If I let you, you would make me destroy myself.**

“What do you want?” The blond snarled, not in the mood for mind games.

“How is Zach these days.” Yazoo asked carefully, casting Cloud a sidelong glance.

“He is dead” Cloud simply answered.

“Oh.” It seems like we both have our losses to deal with, Yazoo thought, but he was kind of glad to not have to fight the ex-SOLDIER in order to get close to his goal.

“If you are wondering if I still need his help and protection, you are wrong, remnant” Cloud answered, as he spat the last word like a curse. “I am now quite capable of taking care of myself.”

**But in order to survive you, I must first survive myself**

“Are you, now?” Yazoo said, as he rose slowly. The tip of the great sword trembled slightly, as Cloud didn’t know what to do. He had told the silverhead to stay down, but he very well couldn’t cut down an unarmed man. “Show me.” and Yazoo folded away under the tip of the blade, and struck Cloud across his face. In the brief moment of distraction Yazoo started to zip around the church with blinding speed, looking for his gun-blades.
“Ahah!” Cloud heard Yazoo exclaim as he had discovered where the guns had been hidden, and suddenly two shots rang out, that he narrowly warded off with his sword. He ran to the wall and quickly snapped the second blade in, increasing the sword’s width, then tried to see where his adversary had gotten to.

** I can sink no further, and I cannot forgive you.**

The sudden clapping sound of pigeons taking flight betrayed the gunman’s position, and Cloud dived for cover as several bullets ricocheted off the walls, spraying him with sharp shards of stone, Yazoo cackled softly, as he drove the blond into a corner behind several smashed pews. He was not prepared as many large elongated chunks of wood came flying up at him. He had to jump backward to prevent himself from being impaled; he lost his footing however, and fell from the roof, but managed to get his feet under him before hitting the ground. He could already feel Cloud coming at him before he got to his feet, and leapt up, as the blond raced through under him, straight at the wall. For a moment he was convinced the blond would smash head first into the stained glass window mounted there, but he ran up, and flipped backward several times. Yazoo rolled on his side a fraction of a second before the blade smashed into the floor, and got a couple more rounds off, before taking cover again.

**There is no choice but to confront you, to engage you, to erase you.**

Cloud felt the bullets rush past his head, ruffling his hair, and then he lost sight of the silver haired nuisance again. He dropped to his knees, trying to get his bearings, when there was a sudden thud and the sound of the hammer being cocked just behind his ear, as Yazoo landed behind him, the gun held at his temple. One arm wrapped itself around his waist, and pulled him into the slightly smaller frame of Yazoo. Cloud felt the youth’s breath caress the edge of his ear, and the other hand that held the second gun pressed to his lower abdomen.
“Don’t move, brother.” He panted. “I win this round..” the second hand drifted lower, and he slowly started to rub the gun against his groin.

** I have gone through great lengths to extend my threshold of pain. I will use my mistakes against you.**

Oh ,no. it wont be that easy this time.. Cloud thought, as he remembered Yazoo’s acquisition back in Hojo’s lab. He had been bound and drugged then, and an easy prey for the youth. But that was three years ago, and he had learned lots in the mean time, and had even defeated his father. He felt Yazoo harden against his buttock as the silverhead pushed his groin against him. His attention slacked just a bit and in that moment he simultaneously punched the gun aside, and slammed his elbow into Yazoo’s jaw.

“You wont get me that easily this time, remnant.” He smiled as the silverhead went flying, and slammed into the wall. The impact knocked the wind out of him, and he briefly just stood there. He drew a hand across his mouth, and Cloud was pleased to see blood stain his pink lips.

“Yazoo.” He said, as he pushed himself off of the wall.

“What?” Cloud said, lifting his sword again, as the youth approached him.

“My name. Is Yazoo.”?

Cloud stifled a snort. “Y.. Yazoo? Who the hell is called ‘Yazoo’?”

“Well, what kind of name is ‘Cloud’?”. Yazoo said, his fists firmly pressed in his sides. “Did your mother look up at the sky when she shat you out and thought;’ Oohh, that big grey fluffy thing in the sky, that will make a nice name for my child!’” and he theatrically clasped his hands to the side of his face, fluttering his eyelashes.

“That is it! I’m so gonna kick your ass!” Cloud yelled, and flew at Yazoo, who leapt up again, but this time Cloud was ready, as he hopped up after him and grabbed him by his boot. He yanked him down and slammed him into the ground. The impact caused a great puff of dust and rubble to waft into the ear, and Cloud was temporarily blinded. He felt around and found Yazoo’s throat, and hauled him to his feet. The youth was also coughing and spluttering as the dust invaded his nose and eyes.

“Dammit, Cloud, don’t you ever clean in here.” He said, and then Cloud heard the click of the gun, now aimed at his chest. Cloud made a sudden move, so fast Yazoo didn’t notice what he did until he felt the barrel of his second gun at his head. Then Yazoo pulled the trigger.

‘Click.’

Yazoo’s magazine was spent.

“Click.’

So was Cloud’s.

“It appears we are at an impasse, brother.” Yazoo said softly.

“Not quite.” Cloud said, and levelled his sword at the youth’s neck. “Yield?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“You could just walk out of here, and never return.” Cloud snarled softly. “If you didn’t come here to kill me, then why are you here?”

Yazoo dropped his head. The gun fell to the ground with a loud clatter. His breath became irratic, as he grasped his side. Cloud watched as all the colour drained out of the youth’s face, and he sank to his knees. Why the hell had he come indeed? He had come to realize, that the only time he had felt he did something solely for himself, was when he had taken Cloud. Sure, he had been bound, but had wanted to remain thus, even after Yazoo had offered to release him.

“I didn’t come here to kill you.” He whispered softly.

**There’s no other choice. Shameless now, nameless now, nothing now, no one now.**

He slowly reached up, and placed a hand on Cloud’s abdomen. “Can’t you guess?” He said, as he swept his gaze upward, unguarded and open.

“Don’t tell me you went through all this trouble just to get laid, man.” Cloud said, frowning, as de didn’t know what to think.

Yazoo frowned, maybe he had been wrong, and it was very possible that the hatred just went too deep. In that case. There was nothing left to loose. He unzipped his coat, and let it fall to the floor. “Just end me, then.”

“What? I wont kill a defenceless man, Yazoo.”

“Just get on with it, Cloud. The stigma has started to eat at my lungs, I am done for anyway.”

“Your insane.” The blond whispered.

“No Cloud. I’m not.” He coughed, and his face screwed up in pain. He drew his hand across his bruised side, and collected some of the blackened blood that oozed from his skin. Cloud knelt to catch him as the youth passed out again.

~*^-^*~

Cloud watched the silverhead as he laid quite still where he had placed him a few hours ago. His respiration had steadies somewhat, but his wound still bled. He didn’t have long left. The stigma would reach his heart soon.

He knew very well he could heal the youth in a matter of seconds if he took him into the pool, but what kind of monster would he unleash upon the world once he had his health back?
Something kept gnawing at his mind. Something he had seen in the aquamarine of the youth’s eyes. Yazoo had wanted to guess it, as if he had trouble finding the words that went with the emotion he had detected there.

Yazoo moaned and frowned in his slumber, and Cloud instinctively placed a hand on his cheek to comfort him. Maybe if he showed him something else, something other than violence and insanity. He saw the beginnings had already taken root. They had made a connection in the lab that day, it had been deflected toward Zach, just as Yazoo had thrown his at Kadaj. Now that his brothers were no longer around to feed the decadence, Yazoo had been left with nothing but what they had shared. He had to think, to mull it over before he make his final decision. Either way, he would show him mercy, and that would be in either ending his life or ending his suffering.

He woke up again, and it was dark. He could only see the vague light from the small oil lamp that sat on a pew, just above his head.

“You have been out for a long time.” He heard Cloud’s voice say beside him.

“How long for?” Yazoo rasped, and found his throat terribly dry.

“Two days, almost.” The blond said, as he reached over, and held a canister of water to the silver head’s parched lips.
“I’m dying, aren’t I?” He said, after swallowing some water, easing his throat.
Cloud made no answer, as he lay down beside him, and held a damp cloth to his forehead.

**But my soul must be iron, cause my fear is naked. I am naked and fearless, and my fear is naked.**

Yazoo let his hand fall against Cloud’s bared chest, and felt his heart leap as Cloud took it in his own.

“I have made a decision, Yazoo.” He said quietly, and pressed a kiss to the youth’s fevered forehead.

“About what, brother.”

“About whether or not to help you.”

“Are you going to end me?” he asked, his eyes suddenly wide, but not with fear, but with relief.

“No, I am not going to kill you.” He said decidedly.

Yazoo closed his eyes in disappointment, and frowned “Don’t let the stigma take me, brother, please...”

“Not if I can help it, Yazoo. It has taken too many already. Your father being the first. He was driven mad by it, you know. I knew him before he became what he was in the end. He was a great man. He never deserved what happened.” Cloud mused, as he tenderly traced his fingertips along the youth’s nose and jaw line. “I can see the same madness in your eyes, Yazoo. That is why I waited so long to make up my mind. I don’t want to unleash another Sephiroth on the world.”

Yazoo attempted to snigger, but his breath faltered. ”I wasn’t strong enough to hold him, Cloud. I never was. In the end, it killed Kadaj too. You were right. We were only remnants of him. We could never become him, only succeed him, and we failed at that, too.”

Cloud thought that over. Is that why he had been able to defeat him again? Has the ghost of Sephiroth burned up Kadaj’s body when he had taken him over? It was very possible. The man’s potential had never been fully tapped, as his instability had made sure of that, making it impossible for him to focus all his strength. Otherwise Cloud and the others with him wouldn’t have stood a chance.

“It might end you, I don’t know. I have never seen anyone who was that badly damaged by the stigma and still lived. You might just pass over, like Kadaj did.” Cloud said, as he got up on his knees and stripped. “I know you have no reason to trust me. But I can’t let it end for you like this.”

“Do you think by saving me, you can save Father?” Yazoo asked, as Cloud moved over his body, and gently pulled his pants of.

“I hope Sephiroth found peace, where ever he is right now.” Cloud climbed over Yazoo and lowered himself into the spring. He held out his arms to Yazoo who rolled himself over with great difficulty. He isn’t going to make the morning, Cloud thought, as the lithe body rolled into his embrace. Yazoo draped one arm across his shoulders and intertwined his hands, his damaged side facing away from Cloud.

“Kiss me, Cloud.. Just once.” Not knowing what was going to happen to Yazoo, Cloud did. His lips easily folding and caressing around Yazoo’s, who’s breath almost stalled in his chest.
For a moment Cloud was afraid that his heart would falter, as their tongues touched. Yazoo’s arms trembled strained around the blond’s neck, as he slowly walked backwards to the middle of the spring, where the water bubbled up, and the scent of the flowers that had grown there previously was the strongest. He had always associated his own healing with that scent, and now he was going to share it with Yazoo. He gently lowered the trembling body, so the youth’s feet and buttocks touched the water. He drew in a sharp breath in surprise.

“It is.. warmish.” He gasped. “I thought it would be ice cold.”

Cloud slowly shook his head. That clinched it for him “It is always warm to the ones that need it.”

Hang on, Yazoo, just a little longer. He bend his knees, and felt Yazoo’s bodyweight decrease. Oh Gaia! He is going over, just like Kadaj! Cloud thought and then realized he didn’t want him to. “Stay with me, Yazoo.. stay.. “ He whispered fearfully,

Their gazes met and locked, sky blue with aquamarine as Cloud allowed Yazoo’s body to sink under the surface, but the skin under his hands stayed solid. Yazoo shook and heaved in is arms. “Cloud.. it tickles!” he cried, as his hands clawed at Cloud’s shoulders.

“SHhh shh shh… easy.. Yazoo” the blond said, and saw the bright white-green sparks along Yazoo’s side and back rise as the Geostigma left his tortured tissues. “Drink some.” He said as he scooped a handful to Yazoo’s mouth. The silverhead gulped it down and then squeezed his eyes shut. He pressed the heels of his hands to his temples and moaned.

“My head..it feels like it is going to split apart..” he wrestled briefly, violently and Cloud lost his grip on him. He disappeared under water, and Cloud could see him struggle, as air bubbles and more of the white-green lights rose to the surface. He wanted to grab him and pull him up, but he every time he tried to get a grip, Yazoo would slip from his grasp. Finally he came up, as he burst through the surface of the pool, gasping for air. His hair was plastered to his face and shoulders as he examined his chest and hip, the skin now healthy and pale-pink. Cloud moved in on him and drew him close so he could look him in the eye. The elliptical pupils had gone, and were now round and peaceful. His hair seemed to have changed colour, but Cloud thought that was due to the fact that it was wet. He placed a hand against the youth’s face and pulled him close.

“How do you feel?” he asked carefully.

“I don’t know.. kind of funny I suppose.” He said, trying to find words to describe what had happened in his ghost. It felt like something had been cut from his mind, like a tumour, a cancer that had dominated his whole existence. As long as he could remember, there had always been the voice of Jenova steering him, and as he had grown older, the voice of the man he had come to know as his Father, and Kadaj, of course. Now he was simply empty, and for the first time ever, he could actually hear his own inner voice, hear himself think.

“Come here.” He said, and drew Cloud into his arms. “I .. want you.” And kissed him again. this time his body had regained its strength, he dug his fingers into the blonds hair and sucked on his tongue and lips as if his life depended on it. He wrapped his legs around the older man’s waist and pressed himself against the blond’s groin. Yazoo broke the kiss and laughed out loud when Cloud gently explored his opening with his fingers, and found little resistance when he pushed two fingers in. “I have had Kadaj and Loz up my ass more often than I care to remember.” He smiled as he saw the surprise on the blond’s face.

Cloud pulled Yazoo to the edge of the pool and climbed out. He went over to his pack, and pulled out a jar of Vaseline that he used on his bike. He gathered some of he slick jelly on his fingers and rubbed it over Yazoo’s portal and his own erection. He took Yazoo’s face into his hands and kissed him again, deep and passionate as he positioned himself to take him. Yazoo’s hands trembled on his shoulders as he felt Cloud’s tip nudge him. Suddenly he slid in, easily, smoothly, as if it had to be. Cloud hooked one elbow under Yazoo’s knee, while his other hand gently stroked the silver head’s cock.

Yazoo felt heat rise in him, it started between his legs, then worked itself up along his spine. Around the edges of his vision everything seemed to glow white as he clung to Cloud, who leant in more forward, the tip of his tongue touching his. This was more than the lust he had always felt when he was with his brothers.. the heat in his spine rose higher and enclosed his heart, that now pounded furiously. He couldn’t contain himself any more as he cried out his blond lover’s name, and spurted up to his nipples.

Cloud arched his back as he took Yazoo’s buttocks into his hands and came with him just after two more thrusts. He leant in and kissed Yazoo, who wrapped his arms around him, clinging to him as if in desperation. Their desire now satisfied, their kiss was tender and slow. Exploring and tasting of eachother, as they were now both freed form their inhibitions. Staring into the windows of their souls unguarded and free.

“I will bottom for you later, if you like.” Cloud said as he smiled with his eyes at him. Now his energy and health were restored, Yazoo was becoming cocky again.

“Bottom for me now, Cloud.” Yazoo smiled at him through half lidded eyes, as he drew himself closer and pushed his finger into the other’s portal.

“Oohh it has been a while for you, hasn’t it?” he said as he felt how tight Cloud was. It had been a very long time, in fact, the last time was in the hidden forest, when he and Zach were on the run form Shinra SOLDIERs that had been send after them to kill them. Seeing the sadness in Cloud’s eyes, he withdrew and quickly adjusted. “I am sorry, Cloud.” He said as he whispered his apology, and kissed him, tenderly, trying to comfort him.

Their arousal abated, as melancholy dragged them down. They moved to the pool, and sat on the edge, their legs dangling in the water.

“What happened to that big guy that was with you?” He finally asked, trying to distract himself from his own misery.

“He died too.” Yazoo said, and sighed deeply. “He took one of my guns one night, and shot himself.” Hearing himself say it out loud, it now finally struck home. Now he was the only one left. “I tried to bury him, you know, like you did with Kadaj, but it didn’t work… “
Yazoo pulled up one leg, and rested his head on his knee. He hadnt been able to cry, he never had in his life, not that he could remember anyway, but now he felt a strange burning and stinging in his eyes, as slow salty tears spilled down his cheeks.

Cloud took his hand, and carefully rubbed his thumb from side to side, then shook his head. They could spend the next week talking about people they had known and lost in battles. Is that all they had to share with eachother? Their dead? That wasn’t a very good start for a relationship, now was it.

He turned to look at Yazoo, who had laid back on his back and stared at the night sky. He had decided a while ago that self pity wasn’t getting you anywhere, he had needed Earith and Zach to remind him of that.

He suddenly turned and laid down on top of Yazoo, who was kind of surprised at his sudden action. He took the smaller youth’s face in his hands, and started to kiss him again.
Yazoo briefly struggled, but Cloud pinned the silverhead’s hands above his head.

“Don’t, Yazoo. Don’t fight me, it just isn’t going to be like that this time.” Yazoo’s breathing sped up. “I don’t want to dominate or be dominated. Just.. be with me.”
Yazoo felt puzzled as Cloud pulled him down beside him on his bedroll. He tucked himself in against Clouds slightly broader frame, and held his ear to his chest. The slowing steady inner rhythm seemed to calm him, and it didn’t take long for him to drift to sleep.

Cloud enjoyed feeling the soft puffs of Yazoo's breathing on his skin. it had been so long since he had been allowed a moment of tenderness, to share something with a lover. He had no idea of what was coming, or how they would face the days ahead. He dared not to dream, to fantasize. It would't never measure up to what he felt at that moment, and he decided to leave it at that.

End of part one.


**Needless now, shameless now, nothing now, no one now**

A/N; that was one little dribble...
teaser for next additions: will Yazoo, Loz and Kadaj's real mother make an appearance, as she desperately tries to save them?

will Yazoo and Cloud give Loz a final resting place?

Serephine, Serephine, who the fuck is Serephine? Sephiroth's wayward and griefcrazed daughter, that is who!