Pentimenti
Sephiroths POV part 1
un beta'd currently
In the end there was only insanity, fire and the lingering feeling of regret, regret buried deep behind the behind the female, the calamity of the world. The embodiment of destruction my Goddess my Mother, a hero no longer, A burning fallen angel of death I became, in the end I welcomed this, burying my pain deep in where light couldn’t penetrate .and then there was him the friend, jubilant full of life I saw heaven his eyes pure, true and strong, he came before Jenova, before I became an agent of fear, he came at a time into my life where I was confused, almost alone friendship torn apart from ShinRa’s lies and the desire of the poet, the crimson betrayer.
This boy so young but had seen so much, so doomed to cross my path, he had faith a strong conviction that everything would be alright if you only smiled.
Briefly due to his antics I found myself fondly amused no matter how detached I made myself feel around him, I never trust, trust is always broken and abused for personal gain, I saw none of that only an innocence I hoped he never lost.
when my insanity grew encouraged by Jenova, and even from my so called friend Genesis, so jealous of me he could be the hero I’d have stepped down, I never wanted this recognition I wanted to be normal back then,
but no, not now I need this power; more powermore pain so no more light can shine through, his light Zack FairThere was a time where I had become weak or so I had been told countless times as a child, his pain his tears made me feel for the first time in what seemed like an eternity
The death of the traveller My friend Angeal.He’d come from another mission I couldn’t go on, coward that I am, how could I have let him, barely out of his teens, let him do the job I should have done?
Shaking my head I went to the Library where I did most of my thinking and I stopped dead there he was, leaning against a bookshelf head lowered hands in his hands, a small part of me was envious of his hands, being able to touch that wild black hair at will, I squashed that part of myself down, I couldn’t let my desires get a hold of me, ShinRa was always watching.
I couldn’t let them see me fond of someone, they were usually taken away, they didn’t want me to have friends, fall in love and trust, I was to be the machine, the killer, no matter how they wrapped it up calling it heroism andGeneralwas just a word a title that meant I killed better and faster than others.
Walking into the Library I crouched by him giving into the urge I touch his hair wishing I could feel the texture under my hands, but taking off my gloves would be unusual.He looks up at me and my will crumbles grabbing him by his shoulders I pull him into my arms, such pain in his blue eyes,
Holding him close I try not to shiver as he inhales and exhales, cool air brushing over my neck, as he forced himself not to shed tears.
“you can cry Zack, it is not weak to shed them” I say and then it broke his only barrier his fingers tangle in my hair as he buries his face into my neck and shoulder, tears wetting my skin, the heart wrenching sobs tugged at my heart and I pull him closer, stroking his hair and running my hands down his back, he shivers and pulls back from me, looking into my eyes. What he saw in mine I never knew but his face flushed a bewitching pink and they flickered down to my mouth then back up into my eyes.
I just stare at him, he wants me to touch him, I can see that, but its touch I shouldn’t give into, he’d be in danger if I took the next step.
I lower my eyes unable to look at him longer. He catches me by surprise grabbing my bangs he pulls me closer lips sliding over mine; he needs this to feel I could give him that I part my mouth under his letting him lead the kiss where he wanted; I was his puppet to do what he wished.