The Path to Redemption

 

Disclaimer: I don’t own Final Fantasy VII or any of its characters. SquareEnix does.  I make no money from this…I just like to play with them.

A/N: ​Okay folks, here we go with another one.  This is an AU post Advent Children...Kadaj doesn't die.  There's a little bit of everything in this fic...yaoi, het, angst, sap and moments of sheer WAFF.  Hope you all enjoy!

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Chapter 1

Rufus Shinra strode down the hall of Shinra Hospital, his lips set in a slight smirk.  All around him nurses and doctors were both scrambling to get out of his way and exclaiming in wonder that he was walking at all.  It was no surprise, really.  Up until 12 hours ago he’d been sick with Geostigma and had still been healing from the injuries he’d sustained over two years ago the night Weapon had destroyed Shinra Headquarters.  However, the healing rain that had cured him of his Geostigma had gone one step further and restored him to complete health.   The Planet had been feeling generous, or maybe she was happy to finally be rid of that controlling bitch, Jenova.  Whatever the case, Rufus hadn’t been the only crippled person to walk that day.

He stopped at the information desk and gave his most charming smile to the blonde haired woman behind the desk.  Her hazel eyes widened slightly when recognition set in, and he heard Reno and Rude both make amused sounds behind him.

“Mr. President!” she exclaimed.  “You’re . . .you’re walking!”

“It would appear so, Ms. Winters,” Rufus returned easily.  Maggie Winters was a very sweet girl--Rufus had talked to her many times during his visits for treatments, and she had been his nurse when they’d first brought him here that night two years ago.  As a result, he and this young nurse had gotten to know each other very well, for Rufus had often carried on long conversations just to take his mind off of the pain of his treatments and healing injuries.  His eyes dropped to her left hand, and he smiled before meeting her eyes again.  “Your boyfriend finally popped the question.”

“Yes!”  She exclaimed.  She held out her hand so he could see the glittering diamond she wore on her ring finger.  “Daniel gave it to me this weekend.  Isn’t it beautiful?”

“Very,” Rufus assured her.  “I do hope that I will get an invite.  After hearing so much about him, I’d very much like to meet Daniel, and I want to see my friend get married.”  Rufus wondered if her look of shock was caused by the fact that he’d just called her his friend, or because he wanted to come to their wedding.  She recovered after a moment and gave him a winning smile.

“Of course, sir!  We’d be honored to have you there!” she said.  She was trying not to cry--Rufus could see the tears pooling in the corner of her eyes.  She lost the battle a moment later, and twin tears rolled down her cheeks. 

“Here,” Rufus said, and he reached into his suit jacket and retrieved a handkerchief.  He gave it to her with a smile.

“Oh, how embarrassing!” she sniffled.  She wiped her tears away with the handkerchief. 

“It’s quite alright,” Rufus said.  He reached into his jacket again and came up with a business card.  He held it out to her, and she took it.  “Send the invitation to that address, and I will most certainly attend.”

“I will,” she said as she handed him his handkerchief. She tucked the card away into a pocket on the cardigan she was wearing before speaking again. “Now, was there something you needed help with?  Under the circumstances, I doubt you’re here for medical treatment.”

“Sharp as always,” Rufus said with a chuckle.  “Earlier this evening a young man was brought here, most likely by a blonde with striking blue eyes . . .”

“Oh, yes sir,” Maggie said with a smirk.  “About an hour and half ago.  A very, very handsome blonde.”

“A very, very taken blonde, Ms. Winters,” Rufus said with a chuckle.  He and Maggie had gotten to know each other well enough that she knew his tastes tended towards men.  It was something that Rufus had never bothered to hide--it was something that was never going to change, and he figured getting it out in the open sooner than later would be much, much better for his political career.

“Pity,” she said with a sniff.  Her fingers were moving over a keyboard on the desk, and a moment later she smiled up at him.  “Room 3804.”

Rufus gave her a wide smile.  “Thank you, Maggie.”

“You’re welcome, sir.  Have a good evening.” 

“You, too.” 

Rufus turned away from the desk and headed for the elevators, Reno and Rude following in his wake.

“Reno, remind me later that I need to start looking for a suitable wedding gift for Ms. Winters,” Rufus murmured.  “It needs to be something special.”

“Will do,” Reno replied.

The elevator gave a soft ding, and the doors slid open.  Rufus stepped on and stabbed at the button for the third floor before turning to face the two Turks that accompanied him.

“Is this wise, sir?” Rude asked. 

“Perhaps not, but I am responsible for Kadaj,” Rufus replied quietly.  “It is Shinra’s fault that he even exists.  Perhaps my father could have ignored the responsibility, but I cannot.”

“Cloud would probably take care of him. . .” Reno started.

Rufus cut him off with a sharp shake of his head.  “No.  We’ve already asked too much of him.  He fought Sephiroth for us--not once, but twice.  Perhaps he will help, but I will not leave the sole responsibility of Kadaj in his hands.  Cloud has been through enough on Shinra’s account, and if I have my way, he will never suffer for it again.”

“Yes, sir.”  Reno looked as if he wanted to say something else.  He would not meet Rufus’ gaze, and was using his crimson bangs as an excuse for it.

“Reno, talk to me,” Rufus said quietly.  He knew the Turks were going to have issues with Kadaj--he and his brothers had nearly killed Tseng and Elena, and even if it had not been without provocation, it was going to be hard for them to forget such a thing.

“It’s going to be dangerous,” Reno said after a moment.

“Jenova is gone,” Rufus said.

“Yes, sir.  But still, he’s going to have issues, sir.  And anger isn’t going to be the least of them.  I mean, I talked to Cloud a little before he came here, and that bitch chose Sephiroth over him for her little Reunion.  He tried to be the perfect, obedient son and she all but ignored him for her golden child.  That can’t be good for his self-esteem, and people with low self-esteem are dangerous, sir--especially when they are proficient with a sword and hand to hand combat.”

“We’re afraid you’re biting off more than you can chew, sir.” Rude added quietly.

Rufus fought the urge to be annoyed with them.  They were, after all, doing what he paid them to do--protect him.  However, these two had always gone above and beyond the call of duty--it had been Reno and Rude that had insisted on finding him in the rubble of Shinra Headquarters two years ago.  With these two--as well as with Elena and Tseng--the line between bodyguard and friend had long ago been blurred beyond repair.  With the Turks it was no longer just a matter of doing their jobs--they were protecting a friend.

“I appreciate your concern,” Rufus told them.  “But I cannot ignore this responsibility.  You understand that, don’t you?”

“Yes, sir,” they said simultaneously. 

There was no doubt that they did, but they obviously didn’t like it much.  Reno looked almost sullen as he leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. Rude was less obvious, but his opinions more often than not ran parallel with Reno’s.  Rufus sighed inwardly and hoped that they’d get over it.  The elevator dinged again, and the doors slid silently open to reveal the 3^rd floor.  Rufus stepped off, Reno and Rude his silent shadows as he turned to his right and proceeded down the hall.

He found Tifa Lockheart sitting on a bench just outside the room’s door.  She looked up when she heard their footsteps echoing in the hall, and her eyes grew wide in shock.

“Rufus?  Rufus Shinra?”  Her voice was soft with awe.

“Cloud did not tell you that he saw me,” Rufus said with a wry smile.

“No,” she said, shaking her head slightly.  Her smile was pure and sweet as Rufus remembered it being.  “But I think he was preoccupied with other things at the time, so I can forgive him for it.  Sephiroth. . .”  Her brows furrowed slightly and her voice trailed off. 

“Yes,” Rufus said quietly.  “Is Cloud with Kadaj now?”

“Yes,” Tifa said.  “The doctor is with him.  Rufus, why are you here?”

“I am here to lift the responsibility of Kadaj from Cloud‘s shoulders.” 

Her brown eyes narrowed, and Rufus saw a ghost of the tough woman she could be when circumstances necessitated it. 

“Cloud won’t like that,” she said, her eyes still narrowed. 

“No, I would imagine not.  I really didn’t expect him to,” Rufus said, his gaze never wavering from hers. “He and his friends suffered horribly in Shinra labs, and by the way you are looking at me, I do believe that you suspect me of planning a similar fate for Kadaj.  It is an understandable suspicion, but I assure you, that is not the case.  Sephiroth and his machinations nearly destroyed this planet, and I--unlike my wretched father--am capable of learning from past mistakes.  My only concern is that Kadaj be given a chance to be a free-thinking individual and to live the remainder of his life in peace.”

“That’s what Cloud wants for him, too,” Tifa said.  She sighed, and her expression relaxed.  “He’s the closest thing to family that Kadaj has. . .and Cloud takes that seriously.  He might let you help, but don’t expect him to completely walk away.  He won’t, Rufus.  You know him better than that.”

“Yes, I do,” Rufus said.  He smiled at her, and Tifa returned it tentatively.

“You really do want to help, don’t you?”  she asked softly.

“I do,” Rufus replied.  “Reno.  Rude.  I’m going inside.  Keep Tifa company.”

“Yes, sir.”

*****

Cloud did not like hospitals.  Their stark whiteness and antiseptic smells stirred dark memories that were better left untouched.  There were reasons his psyche had blocked the memories of his time in Hojo’s lab, and he would have rather not been reminded of them.  Had it not been for the silver-haired man sleeping peacefully in the room’s only bed, he wouldn’t have been there at all.  But, as far as Cloud knew, Kadaj had absolutely no one left in this world, and his honor would not let him abandon the younger man.

“How bad is he?” Cloud asked quietly.

The doctor, who had joined them a moment earlier and had quietly waited to be acknowledged, cleared his throat and flipped through the chart he was holding.  Dr. Graham was a nice, middle-aged man, and had been Cloud’s doctor ever since they’d brought him to Shinra Hospital to heal from his first battle with Sephiroth.  He was the only doctor that Cloud trusted, and that was why he’d brought Kadaj here.

“Not as bad as I thought it was going to be,” he answered.  “As you suspected, all traces of Jenova DNA are absent from his bloodstream now.  He’s still saturated with Mako energy, which as you know, will never go away.  It’s the highest concentration I’ve seen since . . .well you, Cloud.  Who is this man?”

“A Remnant,” Cloud murmured.  “If you run his DNA map against Sephiroth’s you might find a lot of similarities.”

Dr. Graham’s eyes grew wide at the revelation.  “Seriously?”

“Yes,” Cloud said.  “Is he going to be okay?”

“I believe so,” the doctor said, recovering from his shock. “At least, physically I can’t find anything wrong with him outside of exhaustion.  A large amount of rest should take care of that problem.  As far as emotionally. . .not knowing his story at all, I can’t say.”

“He’s going to have trouble,” Cloud said quietly.  As much as it pained him to say it, Cloud knew it to be true.  Kadaj had been a troubled soul before Jenova‘s little Reunion, and now that Jenova was through playing with him, it would only be worse.  Cloud would never forget the stricken expression he’d seen on Kadaj’s face when Jenova had chosen Sephiroth over him.  Cloud half expected that Kadaj had allowed the Reunion to happen because he’d hoped Sephiroth’s return would mean his own permanent demise.  Cloud had thought that to be the case, too, but they’d both been wrong.  And now, here they were.

“Ah, I was afraid you were going to say that,” Dr. Graham said resignedly.  “If there’s anything I can do to help. . .”

“I will make sure to let you know,” Cloud said with a very slight smile.  “And about the bill--send it to me.”

“That won’t be necessary,” a smooth tenor informed them from the doorway.  “This and all future medical bills will be sent to me.”

“President Shinra!”  Dr. Graham sounded utterly shocked.  Cloud half thought it might have something to do with the fact that the man was actually walking on his own, and was apparently without Geostigma, too.

“Good evening, doctor.  How is the patient?”  Rufus asked.

“You’ve no right to ask that,” Cloud found himself saying.  His tone was far more bitter than he wanted it to be, but he couldn‘t help himself.  “Your company caused this mess.”

Silence reigned for several moments before Rufus cleared his throat.

“Dr. Graham, will you give us a moment, please?”

“Of course, Sir!”  The man hurried out of the room.

“You’ve no right to ask,” Cloud said again, once the doctor was gone.  “And if you think I’m going to let you spirit him away to the depths of Shinra headquarters, you’re wrong.  I’ll fight you, Rufus.  I won’t let the same thing happen to him that happened to Sephiroth. Shinra doesn‘t get to play god again!”

Rufus sighed heavily and leaned against the wall next to the door. 

“I cannot change what my father and Hojo did,” Rufus said, his voice hushed.  “I really wish that I could, but I cannot.  All I can do is try to correct the situation, and I assure you, that is my intention.  Even if it takes until my dying day, I will set things to right.  But you’ve heard me say these things before, and no amount of repeating it will make you believe me.  I can only prove myself through action now.”

“What do you want, Rufus?” Cloud asked, almost wearily. 

“To help him,” Rufus said.  “You were right, Cloud.  The fault lies with Shinra.  Kadaj is my responsibility--not yours--and it is a responsibility I intend to take very seriously.  And I swear to you, I have no intentions of letting any harm come to him.  I’ve completely shut down the biology division of Shinra, and I’ve no plans of ever re-opening it.”

Cloud looked up at Rufus, surprised.  “You’ve shut it down?”

“Yes.  If you like, you can go see for yourself.  You’ll find the labs stripped of all their equipment and completely bare.  I have no stomach for what went on there.”

Cloud gave an involuntary shiver as a darker memory surfaced, and he shook his head.  “No, I’ll take your word for it,” he said quietly. He had no desire to ever see those labs again, empty or not.

There was more silence, and then Rufus spoke again.

“You will let me do this, then?” Rufus asked quietly. 

Cloud swallowed the doubt he was feeling, because Rufus seemed to be sincere.  And if he really had shut down the labs, then Kadaj should be in no danger.  After a moment, he gave a slight nod.

“Excellent,” Rufus said.

“One condition, though,” Cloud said.

“Name it.”

“We get to be a part of his life--Tifa, the children and I.”

“I do not foresee that being a problem,” Rufus said.  “You are, after all, the closest thing he has to family.”

Cloud nodded slowly, and he glanced over at the bed.  Kadaj was still sleeping peacefully, his chest rising and falling at regular intervals.  The peace was an illusion--Cloud knew that when his “brother” awoke, he would be severely agitated at best and downright violent at worst. 

“He’s going to be trouble,” Cloud warned softly.  “He won’t be able to help it.”

“I know,” Rufus replied somberly.

“I have doubts,” Cloud said softly.  “But at this point, there is nothing else to be done.  I cannot take him to the orphanage until I can be sure he will not be a threat to the children.  So. . .take good care of him, Rufus.  I will be watching.”

Rufus’ answering smirk told Cloud that he’d expected no less.

*****

Kadaj.  Kadaj it is time for you to wake up.  You can’t sleep forever.

Mother?  Mother, where are you?

Jenova is gone, Kadaj.  She does not exist here any longer. You are free to make of your life what you will.  What will you do, Kadaj?  Where will you go?

Mother . . .is gone?  That’s not possible. . . Mother?  Mother, where are you?  MOTHER!!!!

*****

“Kadaj!  Kadaj, wake up!”

Kadaj came awake with a sharp gasp.  For a moment, he couldn’t remember who or where he was, but then his vision focused, and he found himself looking up into a familiar pair of sky blue eyes.  His reaction was sudden and swift, but Cloud was faster than him, and caught the fist before it could connect with his jaw.  He tried to free his hand from the blonde’s grasp, but Kadaj discovered he didn’t have the strength to wrest himself away.  In fact, he found that he did not have much energy at all--just that moment of struggle had drained him almost completely. 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Cloud told him. 

“Funny,” Kadaj retorted bitterly.  “You were certainly willing enough to trade blows earlier.”

“You attacked me first,” Cloud said softly.  He stared down at Kadaj for a moment.  “And it wasn’t you I was really fighting, was it?”

Kadaj felt a stab of bitter emotion as Cloud spoke the words.

“No, of course not,” Kadaj hissed.  His green eyes narrowed with anger.  “Why would anyone bother with me when Sephiroth is so much better?”  Kadaj took a gulping breath as the anger gave way to a desolate depression that was almost physically painful.  For as long as he could remember his whole existence had been overshadowed by his ’brother’--he could not escape Sephiroth’s influence, and it was going to drive him mad.  For a while he had deluded himself into thinking that Jenova actually cared for him, but deep down he had known better.  He shouldn’t have been surprised when she chose Sephiroth over him, but he had been.  Kadaj had hoped that she would realize his own worth.  He really should have known better.

“Sephiroth and Jenova are both gone now,” Cloud said.  He was still holding Kadaj‘s hand, and he gently lowered it back to the bed before releasing it.  “They will haunt us no longer.”

“Gone?” Kadaj whispered.

“Yes,” Cloud replied with a slow nod.  “Gone.”

“It’s not possible,” Kadaj found himself arguing.  He closed his eyes to ‘listen’ for Jenova.  Cold panic washed over him as he was met with silence.  He opened his eyes and looked up at Cloud with a terror-stricken expression.  “I can’t hear her!” he croaked. 

“She’s gone,” Cloud repeated.  “She can’t hurt you any more, Kadaj.”

“And what am I to do now?” Kadaj asked.  Panic was still wreaking havoc in the pit of his stomach, and if anyone had asked him, he would have been hard pressed to tell them why.  Perhaps it was the sudden unknown that loomed in front of him.

“Live,” Cloud said.  A ghost of a smile played across the blonde’s lips. 

“Live?”  Kadaj couldn’t help the bitter laugh that escaped him.  “Live?  Why?”  He made a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a sob at the bewildered expression that crossed Cloud’s features.  The fool didn’t understand a thing!  “What reason do I have to live?  My only purpose on this world was to do Mother’s bidding, and even that is not possible anymore!”

“I .  . .”  Cloud snapped his mouth shut, apparently at a loss for words.

“Oh, my loving Brother,” Kadaj sneered at him.  “If you were so worried for my well-being, you should have killed me rather than save me.  There is nothing for me in this world now!  Nothing!”  He felt the sting of tears in his eyes, and hated himself for them.  Weak!  Would he always be so weak? 

“That’s a rather defeatist attitude, I would think.”

Kadaj turned his head sharply at the sound of the voice, and his gaze locked with a pair of pale blue eyes.  Kadaj felt the breath leave his body, and he had a moment of recognition before rage descended upon him. 

“You!” Kadaj screamed, and before he even realized what he was doing, he had launched himself from the bed with the sole intention of murdering Rufus Shinra where he stood. 

Cloud tackled him.  Kadaj felt his strong arms wrap around his waist and drag him backwards, and Kadaj snarled as he felt himself tossed effortlessly back onto the bed.  He tried again, with similar results.  He screamed with rage and frustration before pulling himself into a fetal position and starting to sob uncontrollably.  It was unfair!  It was unfair that this man lived while his mother and brothers were dead!

“Damn you,” Kadaj hissed through clenched teeth.  “Damn you!  It is your fault!  Everything is your fault!”

“Yes, it is,” came the calm reply.  “I have no intention of claiming otherwise.”

Kadaj’s breath hitched with surprise, and he uncurled himself enough to look up at the President.  He had expected mockery, but instead, Rufus was regarding him with an expression of utmost sincerity. 

“Well, perhaps not my fault personally, but I am taking responsibility for everything anyway,” Rufus continued quietly.  “And I am taking responsibility for you.”

“You’re what?”

“You are now my responsibility,” Rufus repeated easily.  “You’ll live with me until such a time that the doctors and I believe you can be on your own.”

Kadaj sneered at him.  “Is it wise, President, to take in a man that would rather kill you than look at you?”

“Perhaps not,” Rufus replied.  His eyes never wavered as he gazed back at Kadaj.  “But I am doing so, none the less.”

“I will kill you!” Kadaj hissed.

“You can certainly try,” Rufus said.  His lips curled in a smirk, and Kadaj felt a moment of trepidation at the sudden hardness in the man’s eyes.  “However, I must remind you that I have at least two bodyguards on premises at all times.  And, as you can see, I am fully recovered from my illness, and I’ve had several years training in more than one style of martial arts.  I am sorry, Kadaj, but your death threats do not frighten me.”

Had Rufus’ tone carried any mockery, Kadaj might have been angry.  But Rufus’ tone was merely matter-of-fact as he spoke, and the weight of his gaze told Kadaj that Rufus was serious. 

“And I don’t suppose I have any choice in the matter,” Kadaj sneered. 

“At this point, no,” Rufus answered.  “You’re a danger to yourself and others in this state.”

“Oh, and you know that for a fact, do you?” Kadaj retorted.

“Kadaj, not more than three minutes ago you tried to kill him,” Cloud interrupted gently.  “And you’ve threatened to kill him twice since then.”

Kadaj snapped his mouth shut with a frown.  Had he?  Kadaj thought about it for a moment, his mind replaying the last few minutes of his life, and he couldn’t stop the sudden trembling that overtook his body.  He looked up at Cloud, aware that his expression probably reflected the terror he was suddenly feeling, and when he spoke, his voice trembled. 

“I did, didn’t I?”

“You’re ill, Kadaj,” Cloud said softly.

“Ill?” Even as Kadaj whispered the word, his conscience told him that Cloud was right.

“Yes,” Cloud replied.  He reached out to touch Kadaj’s temple.  His touch was warm, and Kadaj found himself leaning into it.  “Jenova’s games have wounded your mind, Kadaj.  You need help.  Do you understand?”

“I . . .”  Kadaj’s breath hitched audibly, and he felt the burn of tears in his eyes.  “I think so,” he finally managed.  He wasn’t one hundred percent sure, and part of him wanted to tell them both to go to Hell.  But most of him was utterly horrified that he hadn’t remembered trying to kill Rufus a mere few moments ago until Cloud had reminded him of it.  Surely that wasn’t normal--even for a Remnant clone!

“Kadaj?”  Cloud’s tone was worried now, and he moved his fingers to wipe away the tears that were now spilling from Kadaj’s eyes.

“I’m afraid,” Kadaj whispered, barely loud enough for Cloud and Rufus to hear.  Part of him screamed in rage as he said the words.  Weak!  No wonder Mother wanted Sephiroth instead of you!

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Rufus said.  “We all have fears--what matters is whether or not we face up to them . . .or run from them.  What will you do, Kadaj?”

“I am no coward,” Kadaj said, managing to sound fierce through his tears. 

“No, I didn’t think you were,” Rufus replied.  His lips curled into a slight smirk.  “Then you will live with me until you are well, yes?”

“You kept Mother from me,” Kadaj whispered.

“I was trying to save us all,” Rufus replied, his gaze never breaking away from Kadaj’s.  “I’ll not apologize for it, Kadaj.  And even if I wanted to, I cannot change the past.  I am offering to help you now--it’s the best I can do, I’m afraid.”

Kadaj felt anger again, but he forced himself to swallow it.  There was truth in the Shinra President’s words--his conscience wouldn’t allow him to ignore it, even though most of him wanted to lash out at the man again.

“Will you let him help you?” Cloud asked. 

Would he?  If he said no, where would he go?  What would happen?  The truth was, there wasn’t any place else he could go--his brothers were dead, and he seriously doubted Cloud would want him anywhere near the orphanage in his current state.  Kadaj met Rufus’ gaze again and after a moment of gazing into those unmoving blue eyes, he looked away. 

“Kadaj?”  Rufus’ voice held a question

Kadaj gave him a sharp nod before he could change his own mind.

*****

TBC