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Chapter Twelve: Stay

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He didn't know how long he was asleep for, but the dull, groggy feeling that was washing over his senses suggested that it had been at least a few hours.

The fading light from the day was trickling in between the blinds in the window from the kitchen, and it cast lines of shadows on his hazy surroundings. A clean breath entering his lungs gave him the energy he needed to sit up on the leather couch he had been lying on.

Cloud glanced around, looking through the still apartment for any signs of Zack. He couldn't even remember having fallen asleep after Zack had...

The color in Cloud's face drained completely, the muscles in his bare stomach tightening with the memory of being pleasured by the SOLDIER.

He buried his face in his hands then, embarrassed over himself. The thought of Zack enveloping his member completely into his hot mouth assaulted Cloud's mind, allowing a certain shade of color to splash against his pale cheeks.

And the humming noises that accompanied Zack as he moved with Cloud in his mouth resonated in his head, and now no amount of burying his face in his hands could hide the shame he felt. The lack of control he had then disgusted himself, as the memory of him thrusting into Zack's mouth, and the excessive noises he made, replayed in his mind over and over again. The more he thought about it, the more he became dejected with his own behavior. He was mortified over the possibility that Zack might have been repulsed with him, especially when he...

Cloud let out a groan of disgust, rubbing his face vigorously.

He...came in Zack's mouth.

Never had he had such a strong urge to run far away from where he was.

He lowered his hands as he finally clambered to his feet. The cool rush of air in the space hit him as he stood, and he trembled, wondering where his shirt had gone. The previous encounter had happened so quickly that he had little time to think or even act. Once Zack had begun to kiss him, all thoughts were negated by the pleasing feeling of the man's touch.

Cloud realized through several moments of searching that he really couldn't find his shirt. He poked around the apartment, checking under the coffee table and behind the television stand, but his shirt was nowhere to be found. And where was Zack, for that matter? He rubbed his upper arms in a poor attempt to warm himself, and then his eyes caught a piece of paper hanging on the front door.

I'll be back in a few hours. Had to run a mission. Please stay and wait for me?

A small smile tugged at his face, realizing that perhaps Zack wasn't too offended with him after his unrestrained actions. He noticed a small arrow on the bottom of the page, ordering him to turn it over. Cloud plucked it from the front door and flipped it over, whereupon reading the second part of the note, his face scrunched into a very irked expression.

I had a feeling you'd try and leave without waiting for me, so I took your shirt with me. Can't leave without it, can you?

Cloud crumpled the note in his fist and tossed it behind him onto the couch with an angry scowl. Zack trapped him there intentionally as he knew he would probably run. He was stuck in a rather embarrassing situation. He either waited for Zack to return and face the man he really felt like avoiding, or go out in public...half nude. Either way he was going to be shirtless no matter what he chose to do.

His face was stained in a very strong blush that he was thankful no one else could see. But soon the blush was replaced with a white sheen of terror as there was a sudden knock on the door before him. Cloud froze.

"Mr. Fair, sir?" A familiar voice from behind the door.

Cloud peered through the peephole to see Ratcliff standing out in the hallway. He opened the door slowly, and watched with amused interest as Ratcliff shot him a salute.

"Oh, Cloud." The salute was lowered slowly. "I thought you might be here, yeah!" His eyes darted down to Cloud's bare chest and then quickly looked away.

Cloud failed to notice that, however, as his own eyes were cast to the ground in a sheepish expression as he hid himself partially behind the door. "Y-you were looking for me?"

Ratcliff nodded a few times. "Y-yeah, wanted to see if you were okay after what happened."

Cloud replied with shamed silence.

"Am...I interrupting anything?" His voice was suddenly very curious sounding, and Cloud blushed furiously.

"No."

"Where's your shirt, yeah?"

"Zack has it," Cloud said.

Ratcliff paused for a moment, allowing a rather wolfish grin to creep across his face. "Would I have interrupted anything had I come a bit earlier, yeah?"

Cloud began to close the door on the man. "Goodbye, Ratcliff."

The older man shoved his foot into the doorway, stopping it from closing. "Hey, wait! I'm sorry!" This was followed by a few chuckles. "Let me talk to you, yeah?"

Cloud reopened the door and stepped off to the side warily. "Shouldn't you be at the infirmary for your wound?"

Ratcliff pushed back the long, boyish bangs that hung into his face. "See? We have matching scars now." He revealed a few rows of stitches over his brow, mirroring Cloud's.

Cloud chuckled lightly, opening the door for him completely now. "I don't think Zack will mind if you come in."

"He'd be insulted if I didn't, yeah?" Ratcliff stepped inside, kicking off his shoes respectfully. "You've been here since you left?" he said, sneaking a quick glance at Cloud's upper body as he moved over to the couch. He watched as the shadows of the blinds were reflecting off of his skin, causing the illusion of having fully formed muscles across his chest and abdomen. Albeit abstract, to Ratcliff it was still an interesting sight. But he quickly looked away as Cloud turned to him as he sat down on the couch with a small sigh.

"Why are you here, Ratcliff?"

"Well, I can't stay long. I just wanted to stop by and see if you were okay, and to tell Zack something, yeah." Ratcliff sat down next to him, smiling at him from behind the wisps of his dark blond hair.

Cloud peered at the man quizzically.

"Why don't you tell me why Zack has your shirt, first." Ratcliff grinned, knowing that the look Cloud gave him was meant for Ratcliff to reveal what he was needing to talk to Zack for. But he wasn't about to divulge this information until Cloud explained why he was half nude in Zack's apartment, why his hair was matted behind his head, and why the cheeks on his face were devoured in a reddened shame that only suggested one thing.

"None of your business," Cloud said coldly.

Ratcliff leaned his head back, humming a rather amused noise. "You don't need to say a thing now, yeah."

Cloud threw his head off to the side, the red on his face intensifying. "S-shut up. I-it's not what you think."

"Then why is your zipper down, yeah?" Ratcliff motioned down to the zipper that Zack failed to close due to Cloud's sensitive state after he climaxed.

And the small startled cry Cloud released from his mouth as his hands slapped down onto himself to shield the evidence was enough to confirm Ratcliff's suspicions.

"How far did you guys get, yeah!?" He was too excited for his own good.

"Why are you here?" Cloud snapped in reply as his shaking fingers fumbled to pull the zipper up where it belonged. "Just leave your message and get outta here."

"Okay, okay," Ratcliff cooed, trying to calm the angry boy. "I was just going to tell Zack that Graves and I won't be able to make it tomorrow, yeah."

"Tomorrow?" Cloud narrowed his eyes at Ratcliff.

"You've forgotten, yeah?"

Cloud was beginning to feel very self conscious with himself at that moment and he shifted uncomfortably on the couch. His hands crossed over his chest and clutched each forearm. "Forgotten what?"

Concerned blue eyes watched as Cloud curled into himself. "Zack was going to take us all out, remember?"

"Oh..."

"Kunsel found out about the little...scuffle, yeah. So our liberty was revoked for being hostile with each other. He let us have the rest of the day off today to rest, as well..." He let out a laugh. "I got Graves pretty good in his leg, yeah. He can hardly walk," he said, with an aura of pride. "But tomorrow we're to scrub all the Heads in the building."

"Oh..." Cloud said again.

"Would you believe that the jerk tried reasoning with me, yeah? He said he'd let me scrub the Women's because they're cleaner. Like he was doing me a favor for gettin' me roped into his outburst, yeah. I just told him to fuck off." Ratcliff scoffed, shaking his head. "Once again I get caught up in his lack-of-control."

Cloud suddenly let out a mortified groan, lowering his chin down onto his neck.

Ratcliff frowned at him. He studied the shamed look Cloud wore on his face, and he sat for a moment, trying to form the question in his mind in the lightest possible way. "Did...something happen between you guys that you didn't want to do, yeah?"

"What?" Cloud said, his voice miles away.

"Were you forced to do something?"

"No...it's not that..." Cloud said weakly.

"Then why are you so rattled, yeah? What the hell happened?"

A blond head was shaking rapidly, defiantly. "It's not that, don't worry. I just..."

"Please tell me, yeah. I'm the one to talk to, Cloud," Ratcliff said, his voice soothing.

"He..." The blush was crawling down to his neck. "...We just...u-uh...went...um...d-d..."

"Down?" Ratcliff had to finish his sentence as Cloud's mouth closed indefinitely.

More rapid nodding.

"You or him, yeah?"

There was a moment's pause, and Ratcliff wasn't sure if he'd have to do Cloud's thinking and speaking for him. But eventually the blond opened his mouth slowly, his face twitching in thought.

"H-he...he did," Cloud said.

Ratcliff relaxed, but only a little. He couldn't figure out why Cloud was so disturbed over this fact. It was supposed to be a beautiful thing, not something that caused shame and inward spiraling...

Ratcliff let out a long sigh through his nose. "You weren't ready, yeah." He confirmed finally. "Not so soon after you were..." Ratcliff trailed off. He didn't want to say the word.

"No, it's fine," Cloud said, partially lying. He wasn't quite sure himself if he had been ready or not, but it just felt right with Zack. "It's just that...I acted...I..."

Ratcliff laughed rather loudly. "You enjoyed it?"

Cloud's hands cupped his face with another groan.

"Nothing wrong with that, yeah. Don't be ashamed."

Another horrified groan.

A few minutes passed between them silently, the only sound of Cloud's breathing echoing between his palms was heard in the apartment. Until the sound of another apartment door closing outside in the hall vibrated through, rather loudly.

This sound sparked a question in Ratcliff's head. "Were you loud?"

Cloud was still for a brief second, but then slowly nodded with his hands still pressed against his face.

"That's good then, yeah!" The sound of paper being smoothed out could be heard from Ratcliff, but Cloud just ignored this, and then ignored the chuckle that came from the man.

"What?" His hands were slightly lowered.

"Lets Zack know you like what he's doing, yeah." The paper was turned over a few times, crumpled up once more, and then placed back down onto the couch where it was found.

"Can we just drop this?" Cloud said, the hands returning to their original shamed positions.

"I just want to make sure you're okay, yeah."

"Fine."

Ratcliff frowned empathetically. "I've been through it all, Cloud. Don't you forget that, yeah?" He stood, deciding not to give him the usual friendly pat on the shoulder. "And if you're not ready to do something, then just say so, yeah. It may suck for Zack at first, but he'll be patient for you, I promise, yeah." I would be. He frowned at himself.

Cloud just nodded through his hands.

"Well I gotta go," Ratcliff's voice was muffled suddenly as clothing began to rustle. "Gotta start preparing for scrubbin' the Heads tomorrow, yeah."

Cloud felt something warm being placed down on his lap.

"Tell Zack that I'm sorry that we couldn't join. But you go ahead and enjoy your date with him tomorrow, yeah."

Date...?

This caused Cloud to finally peel his hands away as he looked up to Ratcliff, who now stood shirtless in front of him.

"Ratcliff?"

He smiled at him warmly, motioning down to the plain white shirt which lay in Cloud's lap. "In case you wanted to run, my friend."

Date.

Cloud then smiled back, shaking his head. "No, it's okay." He threw the shirt back to Ratcliff. "I think I'll stay."


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Tseng and Zack parted solemnly once they reached the main lobby of the Shin-Ra building. Not much was said between them during the mission they delegated out to themselves earlier that day. Tseng was silent out of respect for Zack, who still seemed troubled by his loss. The Turk, in a rare instance, had decided to accompany him to the burial of Zack's two friends he had lost, as it was not long after Zack's tragedy with Angeal that it had happened. Zack looked like he needed someone with him during that difficult time, and Tseng felt like he had to watch over him.

He didn't want Zack to do anything rash, but there was a part of him that just sensed that Zack needed some support. This, of course, Tseng would vehemently deny until he was the one being buried in the ground. He simply just informed Zack that he only went with him to make sure the SOLDIER didn't do anything stupid, but of course Zack knew better.

Tseng never really smiled, but his eyes held a certain light to them at times. That's how Zack could always tell he was lying about his true intentions. It wasn't very often that he did this, but it was there, regardless.

And now the SOLDIER slowly made his way back to his apartment, hungry, lonesome, and eager. He attempted a mental bet with himself on whether Cloud had stayed or not, knowing that there was a possibility that Cloud would remove himself from Zack's life for a few days out of anxiety and confusion over what had happened between them.

But Zack, knowing that this could be an outcome with his insecure friend, wouldn't have changed a thing. He smiled for the first time in several hours as he thought of Cloud, and it felt good. The boy's warm kiss, his soft skin, his unique taste, all were pleasant thoughts that fueled the smile that had been missing.

His eyes closed in a teasing memory of the noises that the boy had made from Zack's actions. The inhibitions that Cloud usually put forth in his demeanor were wiped clean with the instinct that flowed from his pleasured body. Each arch of his back and each sharp cry he emitted gnawed its way into Zack's mind, keeping the embers of his affection burning steadily for the young one.

The ding of the elevator pried his eyes open and he exited; the feeling of his legs moving nonexistent. And each beep of the keypad on the door to the SOLDIER floor, as Zack entered in his code, reminded him of how close he was to possibly being with Cloud once more. He began to grow anxious as he waited that tiny millisecond for the green light on the keypad to light up and for the lock to disengage. And when it did, he slapped the handle down and barged through the empty hallway, a little overeager.

Zack took a deep breath and held it in as his hand hovered above the handle to his door. He was nervous, and excited all at the same time. This was a test for himself and for Cloud, to see if Cloud trusted both Zack and himself enough to stay with him. After everything that had happened between them, Zack needed to talk to the boy to just reassure him, and himself, that where they were going was right. There was no reason to be scared.

And as Zack entered his apartment, his shoulders sank at the awfully quiet place. The lights were off, the television untouched; the couch was cold. Nothing but the sound of his own breathing cut through the deafening silence as he realized Cloud had run.

"Damn," he said as he slipped down onto the couch. His eyebrows furrowed as his bottom lip retreated into his mouth to be nibbled on by nervous teeth. He felt the muscles in his body weaken in defeat, finally succumbing to the debilitating effects of the adrenaline that had coursed through him from the pent up anxiety he had been feeling.

He looked down at his crumpled note he had left the blond, and he frowned at himself. Maybe it was a mean thing to do after all. Zack just wanted to make sure Cloud was there for him when he came back from burying his friends near the Icicle Inn. The two day wait from the autopsies had been torture, and then the actual burial felt burdening on his shoulders. He needed Cloud's company, in all honesty.

"Oh, Spikey..." Zack said, cupping his face in his hands. "I'm sorry..."

"You should be." A young voice from behind.

"Cloud!" Zack scrambled to his feet in that eagerness that didn't seem to want to leave him. His eyes scanned up the blond who was holding a hanger in his hand with one of Zack's casual shirts he hardly had time to wear. "You're still here!" He blinked at his own excitement, and then cleared his throat, lowering his voice to a somewhat less than ecstatic tone. "You're here, I mean. A-and I'm glad."

Cloud just smiled at him tenderly, but his eyes were down at the floor.

Zack took an amused note in his head that the boy was still shirtless and didn't seem as bothered by it like Zack thought he would be.

"H-how was your mission?" Cloud asked quietly, slipping the shoulder of the shirt onto the hanger.

Zack frowned briefly, but forced himself to change it to a smile. "It was okay. Tied up...some loose ends." He walked over to the boy and could see the flush on his face as he neared. "What're you doin'?"

"N-nothing..."

"Were you looking for a shirt to wear?" Zack said.

Cloud just shook his head, turning away in embarrassment.

"Yeah you were," he confirmed for the both of them. "I'm sorry Cloud, I shouldn't have done that."

"N-no...it's not that." He shifted on his feet as Zack tried to step by him into his own room, but was blocked by the nervous boy.

"What are you doing?" Zack peered over the shoulder of Cloud who was now facing into the doorframe.

"I-I was hoping I'd finish before you came back..." Cloud began, his voice unsteady. "I'm sorry, I just...couldn't help myself."

Now Zack was more than interested, as he gently moved the boy aside, stepping into his room. The fresh scent of laundry soap hit his senses as he entered, and his eyes fell upon a very particularly folded pile of laundry sitting on the bed, waiting to be hung in his now organized-by-color closet. "What the hell?"

"I'm sorry, Zack. I...got bored." Cloud's voice was muffled behind his hands.

Zack chuckled as he stepped into the boy, surrounding Cloud's slumped frame with the strength of his embrace. "You're neurotic."

"I know," Cloud admitted, sheepishly, nuzzling into Zack's chest. He scolded himself as his heart began to slam in his body, and he was more than aware that Zack could feel it.

But Zack just smiled, placing a cautious kiss down onto the blond's head. "You could always watch TV when you're bored." He felt Cloud shake his head against him. The feeling of Cloud's heartbeat made him close his eyes, absorbing the life that emitted from the pulse.

Cloud's muscles twitched as he tried to pull away, testing the deepness of the embrace. He wasn't sure if it was a simple greeting, or something more. But the firm grip that the SOLDIER placed around him was making it quite clear as to just what type of hug this was. So Cloud relaxed into it, sliding his arms up around Zack's waist.

"Thank you, Cloud," Zack whispered.

"It didn't take me long– "

Zack cut him off. "No, I mean for being here."

"O-oh." He was sure he must have been blushing terribly as his face was burning. Cloud tried to pull away, embarrassed, but Zack held onto him with a strength that suggested that Zack was in need.

"Just...a little longer, Cloud," Zack whispered into the top of Cloud's head, his arms squeezing the boy's shoulders almost painfully.

The uniform the SOLDIER wore was gritty, it was drenched in the scent of loss, of suffering.

Zack smelled of the earth and snow.


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Cloud had to be the one to break the embrace as his legs were beginning to become numb from the awkward position he was pressed into.

After a moment of embarrassed chuckling, and through the pain in his eyes, Zack mumbled something about taking a shower and disappeared into the bathroom.

"You cleaned in here, too!?" Zack said, his voice echoing against the gray tile of the bathroom. "Damn, Spikey! You can be my housewife!"

Cloud scowled quite fiercely, although Zack couldn't see this. "Shut up, ass."

The sound of the running water began and then the sound of the leather belts he wore unbuckling filled the apartment. They dropped to the ground and Cloud could hear Zack's moan of approval.

Blue eyes closed, his own content noise flowing from the depths of his throat at the sound Zack had made. A small burning sensation was developing in Cloud's groin, a memory of earlier that day ripping through his mind. His stomach turned into a rather impressive knot at the same time his cheeks turned to a rather impressive shade of red.

"Wanna join me?" Zack's voice was suddenly next to Cloud's ear, his breath caressing his heated skin.

And all the muscles in Cloud's body went into shock as those blue eyes opened to the sight of Zack standing in nothing but a towel slung lazily around his hips. "W-what!?" Cloud choked on the saliva that somehow made an unwanted trek into his airway. He began to cough violently, this all the while only making his face turn into a deeper shade.

Zack repeated himself, sounding quite serious about it.

"S-shower?" His voice squeaked out. "T-together?"

Zack glanced down to Cloud's lap, which was showing the stiff evidence of Zack's amorous question. Or perhaps it was there before he invited him into the shower. Either way, Zack was grinning down at the boy who looked a mixture of interest and fluster.

"T-that's not funny, Zack," Cloud said, his hand covering his mouth, but then went down to his erection to cover that instead, when he saw Zack's eyes lingering a little too long. "Please, stop staring."

A purr came from the SOLDIER as he squatted down next to Cloud who was shaking slightly on the couch. The towel around his waist opened with his knees that bent outwards and Cloud had to refrain from glancing out of curiosity. "You didn't mind my staring earlier," he said, his voice very low and seductive.

"Please. S-stop."

Zack stood, frowning down at him sympathetically. "Okay, I'm sorry."

Cloud realized that he might have offended Zack with his behavior once more. He forced himself to peel his gaze away from the void he was staring into, and looked up at Zack with eyes that lied with a smile. "I...already took one today, thank you," he said.

The man nodded a few times quietly as he turned. He entered the bathroom and was mentally kicking himself. He realized that he might have offended Cloud with his behavior once more.

Zack entered the shower, letting the hot water run down his tired body. His tired and aroused body. He admittedly was still quite turned on from the incident with the blond earlier that day. It helped him drive himself through his solemn day and gave him a reason to press on through the pain that enveloped his heart.

A moist tongue darted out and licked the lips that were longing to be back on Cloud. His mind couldn't tear away from the sharp yell of the boy that coursed through his ears as the boy came into his mouth with his needy thrusts. It made Zack's eyes flutter closed with a hint of a moan at the thought.

He was unaware that he was stroking himself.

"Zack?" Cloud's voice was like a slap to his senses.

He jumped, his hand stopping on his length as he suddenly realized what he was doing with Cloud in the apartment with him. He glanced down at himself and frowned. Going into this type of relationship with someone as troubled as Cloud, Zack knew that he was going to have to be patient. He truly cared for Cloud, and he would do whatever it took to make him comfortable. Even though Zack was getting a bit restless as of late with the teasing kisses they shared.

"Y-yeah?" Zack said, his voice quaking a bit. But that was remedied with a quick clear of his throat and a repeat of the word through the noise of the shower.

"Where did you put my shirt? I'm...cold."

It's really warm in here...come join me.

"I hid it in the cabinet above the refrigerator."

"I can't reach that!"

"I know, that's why I did it."

Cloud just muttered something dejectedly to himself as he disappeared from the bathroom, leaving a rather nervous Zack standing in the shower. He had hoped his shadow cast through the shower curtain wasn't too noticeable as he had a very noticeable erection in his hands.

After a few minutes of resisting pleasuring himself with the memory of being intimate with Cloud, Zack managed to calm himself – and his other self – before finishing what he originally set out to do with his shower. He always enjoyed the smell of his shampoo. It was spicy; sultry. A nice balance to Cloud's fresh and liberating scent, he imagined.

Zack dried himself off slowly, a frown forming on his face. He wrapped his towel loosely around his waist, and scooped up his clothes that were covered in dirt. He poked his head out into the bathroom, and he could see the cabinet slightly ajar. He exited the bathroom, not bothering to dress himself fully.

He knew this would have violently embarrassed Cloud, if only he had bothered to stay.


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...To be continued in Chapter Thirteen: Business Card.