Smack My Bitch Up

Title: Smack My Bitch Up

Chapter 2: He Likes Bread and Butter, He Likes Toast and Jam

Author: Naria Lacour de Fanel

Rating: NC-17, not work safe, people!

Warnings: This piece of fiction is not suitable for those suffering from homophobia, prudishness, or those with anti-yaoi sentiments. If you suffer from these ailments, reading this is a risk to your mental health. So, redundantly: M/M! Foul language, sticky stuff, nipples, explicit fondling of man bits.

A/N: FUCKING CRACK, AGH!! >_<

//Chaos’ mental interjections//
/Vincent’s mental interjections/

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Five minutes of careful disrobing and face eating later (and locking the galley doors, much to many a hungry crew member’s dismay) Cid found himself completely naked on the table with an over-stimulated Chaos licking raspberry jam off his twitchy stomach.

And the demon was purring.

/…Kinky./

//Quiet. You’re just jealous because I thought of it first.//

/…/

//…//

/…there’s a bottle of honey on the counter./

//…good plan.//

Chaos had stopped his wonderful licking for a moment, so the captain had looked up to see what the hell the hold up was. And what did he see? Chaos had his claws around the bottle of honey he kept on the counter for his tea!

“I ain’t a fuckin’ piece of toast, ya know!” Cid growled.

“That may be, but you still look good enough to eat,” the demon leered, making a show of licking his lips.

“Well, ya can jus’ eat my-AH!” Cid’s tirade was unfortunately(?) cut short due to Chaos’ lightning quick reflexes. The demon suddenly and inexplicably had his free hand
firmly wrapped around the captain’s straining erection, the other was mercilessly squeezing the life out of the bear-shaped bottle of honey over the pilot’s chest. To Cid, it was all a mite distracting and…slippery?…How? …What? Aw, fuck it! It felt damn good, and that’s what mattered!

“I may eat your what, Cid?” the demon cooed caustically, pumping his hand in time with each word and dipping his face down to lick the sugary syrup all over Cid’s chest.

The blonde could only incoherently groan and pant. He had to resist the insane urge to just grab the demon leaning over him and have his way...But something in him also kinda sorta liked this whole being dominated business.

“Hmm? What was that? I was too distracted by your lovely writhing,” Chaos paused to lightly nibble on one of the dusky nipples, causing Cid to hiss and arch his back. “It’s quite captivating…”

“Heh…” the captain panted, smiling crookedly. “Now yer jus’ tryin’ ta butter me up.”

“And I’m succeeding,” the demon smirked, making an apparent jerk with his slick hand. Cid was able to gather his mind together long enough to understand Chaos’ words…and to notice the half empty butter dish sitting forlornly on the countertop. But that awareness was shattered immediately when the demon captured his mouth again in a delightfully honey flavored kiss. Metal tipped claws on one hand gently dragged their way down his side, while the other hand pumped him vigorously. He was quickly being swept away in all the harsh caresses and nips! That teasing tongue left his lips on a journey down his neck, to continue giving licks and nibbles down his chest and finally ever… so… slowly…. across his stomach….reaching…lower…

/My turn./ Vincent near moaned in Chaos’ head. The demon responded with a scowl to no one in particular.

//…fine.// he grudgingly conceded, reluctant to let go of his hard won prize.

/I will give him back. I promise./

The first swipe of the velvety tongue across his straining manhood brought Cid’s hands up from their deathgrip on the tabletop to tangle into soft ebony tresses. The blonde gasped both in pleasure and in confusion at the sudden difference. He curiously looked down to see just who was between his legs and was surprised to see his Vincent. That was interesting…When did-

Oh god! TEETH! Cid moaned deeply and couldn’t stop himself from shivering in delight.

This. Was. Awesome. Vin knew just how to-

Mmm.

Vincent knew his lover all too well and smiled to himself. His continued ministrations only brought more grunts and growls of approval (as well as some heartfelt curses of pleasure) from the vocal pilot. Apparently, they were both enjoying the moment. Vincent couldn’t stop himself from moaning in his own pleasure as he held down his lover’s hips, and absorbed all the wonderful little noises the man made. The blonde hadn’t even noticed butter slicked fingers wending their way into his entrance, stretching him in anticipation of future endeavors.

Vincent could taste his lover’s pulse on his tongue as he brought him closer and closer to the edge…There was that telltale tensing against his lips, Cid’s body going suddenly stiff, his breath hitching in eagerness and…

…the world instantly went black!

“GODDAMNIT!! YA NO GOOD SONOFABITCHWHORE!!!! FUCKER!!” came the sudden tirade of the frothing blonde. Cid convulsed against the abrupt vice-like grip that strangled the base his straining erection.

“I think not, Highwind,” growled Chaos’ husky voice. “Not. Yet.” Cid desperately clawed at the swiftly transformed demon’s hand that held him off from his blessed release.

/That’s just not polite./ Vincent frowned, a little put off.

//You’ll get yours soon enough.// Chaos assured his host, then immediately turned his attention back to the blonde currently gnawing on his arm. He grinned maliciously and slammed Cid back onto the table, pinning his arms to his sides.

“I think we’ll both feel much better if I’m fucking you while you come,” the demon purred with obvious avaricious intent as he loomed over his captive. Cid had no choice but to freeze. The cloying arousal in his voice and the sheer primal conviction that rutting would happen on his terms made the captain cease and desist. His dominance was surprisingly disarming…and Cid liked it. As if a little rough play would scare ‘ol Cid Highwind!

“Come get some,” the blonde leered in challenge.

Chaos had a split second to smirk before he was grabbed by the horns and forced to kiss Cid yet again. Forced was a relative term as he soon took over the kiss himself and lifted the blonde’s legs to wrap around his waist. Tremors of desire shook them both as he rubbed his aching erection along Cid’s thoroughly buttered (A/N: *snicker*) cleft. Hardly capable of anymore banter, needing to dedicate higher thought processes to his partner’s comfort, Chaos slowly began to ease his way into the pilot’s warm body.

As Cid’s wonderfully tight channel drew him in, Chaos was thoroughly convinced he had transcended another plane of existence. He wasn’t even completely inside yet and it felt this good?

/See why I keep him around?/

Vincent’s smug voice grounded him again, but the only response he could manage was a mix between a growl, a purr, and a gurgle.

Both captain and demon let out a heavy sigh of contentment as he finally, and smoothly, sank home.

Forget what he thought before…This was much, much better. It was like Cid’s body was made for him. So warm. So perfect. So-

“Hey, batty,” the pilot panted out after waiting patiently for a whole thirty seconds. “Ya gonna move?”

Chaos had to pause for a moment and re-gather himself. Once he was coherent again, his immediate response to the captain’s interruption was a brutal thrust that sent Cid cursing and shaking like a leaf. The demon chuckled to himself as he watched and thoroughly felt his mate’s reaction.

“Ya better do that again or Im’a rip it right off!” Cid yelled as he clenched hard.

Chaos kindly obliged him. In fact, he made the first few thrusts seem insignificant by comparison, forcing Cid to latch onto the table (which was fortunately bolted down) if he didn’t want to get knocked off of it.

For some reason, between the breathy grunts and moans, this made Cid laugh like a madman. It didn’t help that the jam jar and butter dish had become casualties to the intense vibrations and clattered to the ground, even though they were on the counter. A testament to Chaos’ strength and skill. The honey bottle hadn’t stood a chance.

Cid was gonna be damn sore, but he didn’t care! His laughter died down as he felt the intensity of his climax approaching again. He worried a little that Chaos was going to stop him again, but the demon seemed so far gone in his own pleasure…

Chaos was nearly overwhelmed by the sensations that bombarded his senses, and he reveled in it! It had been too fucking long, he’d been denied too often, and it all culminated into these precious intense moments that made him grateful for being alive. The wild passions that drove him to pound mercilessly into Cid also made him caress and fondle the man beneath him with such tenderness it made him a little wary. But he liked it nonetheless and he was going to finish!

Both of them began to moan in unison as they both felt that certain tightness in their bellies and ultimate pleasure was just out of reach. Their bodies twined together, trying to press as much skin to skin as possible. They shared harsh kisses and nips. Claws and fingers left red welts on shivering flesh, and both could feel their hearts trying to catch up to their bodies’ rhythms. So intense…

With a spine bowing shudder Chaos released milliseconds before Cid came with a cry of: “FUCKWHORE!”

Chaos collapsed onto the captain’s sweat slicked body and panted. He was finally sated in more ways than he had ever imagined. This man was a treasure to be sure…

Cid breathed heavily and tried to keep is mind straight, but it seemed a little difficult. He hadn’t cum that hard in a while…Maybe he oughta try to persuade Vince into topping more often…

“Fuckwhore?” Chaos murmured with a smirk against Cid’s chest.

“Huh? Oh. Yeah, well, think of it as Tourette’s caused by too much good sex.” the pilot smirked back. Chaos seemed to think about that for a moment and decided to just accept it indulgently.

“Will do.” the demon replied as he pressed a gentle kiss against the blonde’s chest. “Now if you’ll excuse me.”

“Huh?”

But before Cid could protest, the demon melted away leaving a tousled Vincent laying against his chest. The pilot’s eye twitched and he grunted uncomfortably.

“Well don’t look so happy to see me,” Vincent snorted with a completely uncharacteristic pout.

“It’s not that, darlin’.” Cid smiled adoringly. “Jus’ next time, tell that overgrown bat ta take it out before changin’ back. It’s a lil’ disconcertin’. ”

“Oh,” the gunman murmured as he obliged where Chaos hadn’t. He carefully pulled away and stood offering a hand out to the still recumbent pilot.

“It’s all right. No harm done. Jus’ a lil’ weirdin’ out is all,” Cid guffawed as he sat up. He immediately winced. “That an’ I’m gonna be sore fer days.”

“That’s your own fault,” Vincent chided with a grin.

“True. So who’s idea was it ta have both o’ ya jump me?”

“I think that question answers itself, Chief.”

“Took fuckin’ long enough,” Cid chuckled.

“What do you mean?” Vincent asked.

“Well, I figured if there was somethin’ the two of ya had in common, it was wantin’ my fine ass. I knew if I got the both o’ ya riled up ‘nough, well…“ the gruff pilot trailed off, a satisfied grin on his face. “Heh heh.”

Vincent stared at him incredulously.

“You mean to tell me you did all this on purpose?”

“Yup,” came Cid’s simple reply as he lit a cigarette (how and when he got it, no one knows).

Vincent blinked in disbelief. Chaos, still too far gone in his own bliss, could really care less.

“How could you have possibly known that it would come to this?”

“It wasn’t exactly rocket science ta figure out how ta fix yer angstin’ an’ his surly posturin’. I jus’ needed the right circumstances and a lil’ luck.”

“Highwind, you are a devious bastard.”

“And that’s why ya love me,” the blonde said with the biggest shit eating grin in the universe.

“No, I just want your fine ass, as you so eloquently put it.”

“Well, it’s yer lucky day, Mr. Valentine! But if ya want the ass, ya gotta take the whole package,” he smirked as he hopped off the table. “Think ya can handle that?”

“I might be able to,” Vincent said with a warm smile as he pulled his captain into his arms. “In fact, I’ll show you just how well I can.”

And they tumbled onto the table once more.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

That wasn’t supposed to carry on like that, but the snarky bastards (i.e. Cid, Chaos, and Vincent) kept throwing stupid dialogue into my head! Yes. I hear voices. At least they’re constructive…most of the time. BUT WHY TOAST FIXINGS?! WHY?!?! *fist shake*

“Butt-ered cleft” Snort! Stupid puns, how I love thee.

Anyone else hear corny porno music during that last line? Kinda like:
DING DONG!
“Pizza delivery!”
“But I didn’t order any pizza!”
-Lusty gaze- “I know.”
Bow chicka wow wow!

Anyone? No? Rrgh.

Hope you enjoyed my first (and likely last) Valenwind!