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Chapter Twenty-Seven: Forced

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Zack awoke first, the blankets slipping off his bare chest as he sat up in the strengthening light of the morning.  It was early still, and the first thing he thought about was getting more sleep, and yet, he had woken up on his own accord, or at least, he thought he had.  But the sound of Cloud groaning quietly beside him had been the real reason why his sleep was cut short, and he looked over at him, worried at first, but then slowly smiled.  Cloud wasn't groaning in displeasure, but it was almost a purr of content as he shifted closer to Zack with a calm look on his face.

I have to get up, otherwise I'll never leave this bed ….

Cloud briefly opened his eyes to look at Zack as he felt him sit up, and he took that moment of hesitation from Zack to scoot even closer to him, practically nuzzling him with his nose, and fell back asleep.

Damn, how the hell can I say no to that?
  
Zack lowered himself back down with a pleased sigh and wrapped his arms around the boy.  He closed his eyes but willed himself to not fall back asleep, just so he could relish the tranquility that the morning brought.  It was so quiet.  He couldn't hear anything in the other quarters around him, he couldn't hear any traffic down below in the city … he felt as if it were just him and Cloud existing on their own.
  
He even took the liberty to move his phone out into the kitchen after Cloud fell asleep the night before, just in case someone decided to be rude and call him for an early wake-up call like Lazard had the previous morning.  It wasn't like he didn't want to report to duty, as he truly loved being SOLDIER, but he would much rather catch a few extra minutes of snuggling up against Cloud in peace without the shrill interruption of his phone.

Maybe he would have time to try and cook them both breakfast, so long as that meant toast and ... well, more toast.  He managed to cook eggs without so much as getting the shell in it, but he always forgot to lower the heat on the pan so they didn't cook chewy.  Impatience and hunger usually got the better of him, so he would turn the heat up to cook it as fast as it possibly could cook, be damned the texture and taste afterwards.  But maybe he could try his luck this morning for the both of them.

Though, he might skip breakfast altogether if Cloud continued to be this enticing.  Inch by inch, he would find the blond pressing himself closer into him, and he had to shift higher up onto his pillow so they wouldn't smother each other.  He listened to the steady breathing, mixed with the occasional soft noise he would make as he slept, and Zack found himself matching those little content noises with some of his own as smaller hands wiggled their way between them and rested against his chest.  Cloud was quite affectionate as he slept, and Zack thought it amusing that he would be too bashful to be this close with him if he were only awake.

It was exciting to just lie there and finally be able to take in Cloud's mannerisms.  He had fallen asleep on his couch several times before, but it was never long enough to see him this relaxed.  The other night when he slept over for the first time officially, there wasn't much sleeping to be had through the nervousness and the nightmare.  So now it was comforting knowing that he was finally sleeping well, at least, for one night.  Zack could only imagine what he had gone through as he tried to sleep during the past week, and perhaps lack of sleep was finally all catching up to him.

Zack dozed in and out for a while, waking up each time Cloud would shift minutely or make any sort of sound.  They were mostly typical sounds of sleep, but when he had heard a strange noise coming from the boy, he jolted awake.  It took Zack a moment to realize it was his own stomach growling.

Reluctantly he got out of bed around eight thirty and slipped on his sweatpants.  Even after their shower together, he still thought it would make Cloud uncomfortable if he was just wandering around his apartment naked.  Being naked in the shower was expected.  Being naked in the kitchen while cooking wasn't.

He began to rummage through his kitchen for anything to eat, and then paused when he realized that he really didn't know if Cloud was a big morning eater or not.  In fact, the boy never really did strike him as one to eat much at all, but then again he was comparing Cloud to himself, and not many others could keep up with his appetite, except for maybe Kunsel or Graves.

Graves.  What the hell is going on with that guy?

   Zack had shamefully forgotten about him.  He was so wrapped up in his failed mission and finding out what happened to Cloud that he couldn't even remember to inquire about that man.  He didn't even know to what extent Shin-Ra knew about it.  He wasn't even sure who did know about it, besides himself and Ratcliff.  Cloud hadn't mentioned anything, of course, and Kunsel hadn't said anything either.  But then again, as of late, that was becoming of no surprise to Zack.  He never thought he'd see the day when Kunsel's lips were so tightly shut, and if Zack hadn't been so irritated at it all, he probably would have laughed at that.

It was a mystery to him as he was finally able to be patient enough to cook the eggs slowly on a low heat.  He had even remembered to add a bit of milk into the scrambled mixture, as his mother had always said that it would make them fluffier and all around more enjoyable.  Perhaps he was concentrating on making it right since he wouldn't be the only one eating it this time.  He then grinned at the thought of making their first breakfast together as – or what he hoped was – a couple.  He wished that Cloud was awake to join in on the experience.  He honestly would be happy if it just came out remotely edible in the end.

He turned down the heat even lower to go check on Cloud.  He hadn't moved at all, save for his hand that looked as if he had reached out to where Zack once lay.  He felt a small pang of guilt for taking any sort of comfort away from Cloud as he slept, if any at all, but felt even worse when he realized that breakfast was about to be done, and unless Cloud wanted to miss out, he'd have to wake him up.

"Hey, Cloud?" he said, quietly at first, as if he hoped that speaking softly would make waking him up more bearable.  He really did feel bad for not letting him sleep, but work could be calling him soon, and he didn't want to chance not having taken care of Cloud before he left.

Cloud stirred, now with a light grunt of disapproval.  His eyes fluttered open when Zack squatted next to the bed and reached across, brushing his hand across his cheek.

"Heya."  Zack smiled warmly at him as their eyes connected.

"...  Zack ...?"

"Good morning, Chocobo."

A frown fell across Cloud's face at the nickname.  "You're lucky I'm half-awake."

Zack chuckled, almost tauntingly.  "And why's that?"  He waited for Cloud to continue, but he never answered.  His breathing resumed the pattern of what it was when he was asleep.  "Cloud?"  Zack chuckled once more, louder this time, and he crawled onto the bed next to him, pushing his hair away from his face.

He didn't respond.

"Angel?  Time to wake up."

Cloud finally responded with quite a boyish whine and gently swatted Zack's hand away from his face.  "I'm awake, I'm awake."

"Good, because if you don't get up soon, breakfast is either gonna burn, or I'm gonna eat it all for myself.  Or both."  He slipped off the bed and went back into the kitchen when the smell of the food reached the bedroom, and he realized that he nearly forgot about it.  He glanced back into the room and watched as Cloud stood with a slight wince and a rubbing of his head, but soon followed after a few minutes.

Breakfast was plated with a personal pride, and toast, of course.  Zack smiled impressively wide at Cloud as he shuffled out into the kitchen with half-lidded eyes.  "So, are you gonna tell me why I'm lucky?"

"Huh?"  Cloud's voice was heavy with grogginess as he sat down on one of the barstools.  "Lucky?"

"You warned me, telling me that I was lucky that you were half-awake."

"I dunno ... I was half-awake when I said it."

"Well," Zack began, placing a plate in front of Cloud, "I'll tell you why I'm lucky."

Cloud looked up at Zack with mild interest, only because his eyes began to sink closed  before shooting back open when he realized he was falling back asleep.  "Huh?"

"Eat."

He obeyed, stabbing a fork into a large mound of egg and eating it without hesitation.  Zack waited until he gave a nod and a small smile of approval before he continued speaking.
"I'm lucky because I didn't know if you liked eggs."

"That's a weird reason to feel lucky."

"You'd think, but it goes deeper than that."

Cloud finally looked a bit more cognitive as he furrowed his brow, giving Zack a quizzical look.  "How so?"

"Because I didn't know if you liked burnt eggs."

That quizzical look never left his face as he looked down to his plate, then to the pan that sat discarded on the range.  "They're not burnt."

"And that's why I'm lucky."

" ... That doesn't make much sense."

"It does when you burn eggs on occasion," Zack said, popping a forkful into his grinning mouth.

Cloud looked as if he wanted to chuckle, but he was too busy yawning to really do so.  He then managed another smile – wider this time – and Zack took that for all it was worth, given his strange observation on luck, especially so early in the morning for the both of them.

They sat and ate in a light silence, only interrupting it to talking about how good the meal was, and to fight over who would wash the dishes afterwards.  But their dispute over the dishes was then interrupted by a confident knock on the door.

Cloud seemed like he was about to panic, and the only reason why he would panic, that Zack could think of, would be that he was only wearing his running shorts from the day before, and nothing more.  But Zack waved his hand at him dismissively before he opened the door.

It was Cissnei.

"Uh … good morning," Zack said slowly, carefully, as he looked the woman over.  He hadn't seen her in a while, and the last time he did he tried asking her out on a date.  He admittedly hadn't even thought about her much since things began to progress with Cloud, and given the circumstances of the Turks watching him, he would have rather it stayed that way.

Her deep gaze flickered down to Zack's under dressed body, then over to Cloud who sat at the counter just as under dressed, but sat with an aura of nervousness and curiosity over who she was and why she was there.  "Zack, I apologize if I'm disturbing you, but I'm here to retrieve Cadet Strife."

"What?" they both said in unison, Zack's voice coming out a bit more edgy and challenging than Cloud's.

"He's been assigned a task and needs to report back to his unit for orders."
"And what orders are those?  And how did you know he was here?"

"I hardly see how any of that is of your concern," she said, a slight hint of playful sarcasm in her voice.

"Not that it's any of your concern," Zack said, but then lowered his voice, "but Tseng and I have a little understanding with each other, and Cadet Strife's duties are disclosed with me."  That was … partially true, as he was assigned personal training sessions and missions with him, but not so much his infantry orders.  He was hoping Cissnei wouldn't catch his bluff.

"He said you would try and say that to me, but just told me to tell you tough luck."

Zack laughed shortly, sarcastically.  "And here I thought I was having good luck this morning."  He glanced up and saw Sephiroth leaving his apartment, and he really didn't feel like having him see him standing there bantering with a female Turk while half naked, and with a half naked cadet behind him in his quarters.  "Get in here."

Cissnei raised an eyebrow at him but stepped in reluctantly, and Zack closed the door behind her.  She looked over to Cloud who was slipping off of the barstool and trying to stand at attention as best as he could for being horribly disturbed by the situation.

"Can he at least finish his breakfast first?" Zack said, moving back into the kitchen to continue eating his.

Cissnei glanced around briefly.  Zack's apartment was a lot cleaner than she imagined it to be.  He struck her as the type to drop something on the floor if he missed the garbage can and just shrug to himself and think, 'Eh, I'll get it later'.  But it was fairly neat for such a typical man's pad.  She even caught a glimpse of the bedroom and noticed that the bed was neatly made.  Most likely courtesy of this cadet.

"No.  Cadet Strife is already late," she said, turning her gaze back to the men.  She had wondered why Zack had stopped pestering her about going on a date together for the past two months, and now as she stood watching the two men who barely looked like they rolled out of bed, she realized why.  

"Ma'am.  I'll be ready ASAP, Ma'am."  Cloud stiffened as he saluted her, a soft pink tint to his cheeks.  Zack could see that his eyes were staring above her as he saluted, as if embarrassed to look her in the eye.  Zack at first thought it was because of the fact that he was wearing little to nothing, but then realized that it was rather eyebrow raising to have two barely clothed men eating breakfast together.  He then wondered if Cloud was perhaps ashamed of being in a relationship with another man, at the very least, a public relationship.  And even though it was just Cissnei to Zack, one stranger looking could mean the entire world was looking to someone as introverted as Cloud.

But he lowered the salute and turned to walk briskly into the bathroom to change.

Zack then turned his gaze over to Cissnei, and their eyes met.  

"A close friend of yours?" she said, her voice light and innocent-sounding, but Zack could tell there was perhaps some judgment hidden behind her speech.

He ignored her.  "Want some coffee?"

"I'd love some, but duty calls."

Zack scoffed.  "So now you'd love some, but all those other times I asked you for coffee or lunch you didn't hold back in saying no."

A sly grin appeared on her face then as her arms crossed over her chest.  "Seems to me that that doesn't matter anymore, does it?"  She nodded towards the bathroom as the sound of a cap to a bottle of mouthwash being screwed back on could be heard, then the sound of Zack's medicine cabinet closing.

"Nope," Zack said quickly, confidently, "none of it."

Cissnei smirked, letting out a soft chuckle that she most likely was trying to repress, but couldn't, especially when she saw the stupidly wide grin on Zack's face.  Her chuckling soon stopped after a few moments, and when her eyes met Zack's again, he had a look of concern.

"Hey ... Cissnei.  What uh ... what's this task that Cloud has to do ...?"

"I already made it clear that-"

"Please, Cissnei."

"I'm sorry, Zack."

Zack let out a soft growl, not necessarily at her, but just over the fact that Shin-Ra was of course, still hiding stuff from him.  He'd like to think that he couldn't hold anything against her for doing her job, but somewhere in the back of his mind he was resenting her, angry that she had the ability to tell him what she knew, but refused to, even though they were behind closed doors.  Maybe it was just a simple task being asked of Cloud – standard routine.  Maybe he was paranoid and worrying too much.  Maybe.

The bathroom door opened and Cloud exited with his head aimed down a little.  Zack's eyes narrowed.  That shirt he was wearing ... it was the same red jersey tank he wore the morning of their first date.  Zack didn't remember it to be that loose against his chest.  But once again ... he was probably over-thinking.  Probably.

"On second thought, Cadet Strife is going to finish his breakfast," Zack said, and Cloud looked at him confused.

"Zack, he's already late-"

"I already made that clear," Zack said, a bit more harsh than he intended.

She pursed her lips together while an eyebrow lifted at him questionably as if challenging him and his authority over her.

"No, it's okay, Zack.  I should get going," Cloud murmured, motioning over to the Turk.

"Cloud, please."

"S-sorry, Zack.  Thank you for everything."  Cloud left with Cissnei, his head still aimed towards the floor.

Zack couldn't help but smile, despite his worry.  Cloud was uncomfortable with being seen in his apartment by Cissnei, but he was at least comfortable enough to borrow his mouthwash without asking.  Perhaps it would be a lucky day, after all.


~*~*~
The horns from the ships were loud – piercing the serene calm that surrounded the coastal city.  The air was thick with salt that was carried through by the cool breeze.  The smell of the ocean – it was something that he never had much experience with.  When he neared the city, he was confused by the smell at first.  It was unique, and it was almost startling after being away from it for so long.  Midgar was near the coast, but still at least thirty miles from it, and he had never really had a reason to travel to it.  He had crossed over the ocean in helicopters on missions and to cross the continents when he first traveled from Corel to Midgar, and he had gone on a vacation once to Costa del Sol with his aunt and uncle when he was younger, but it had been a very long time.  

So now, as the air filled his lungs, he couldn't help but feel strangely rejuvenated, and for once considered the natural wonder for its beauty.  Usually he would just simply gloss over something like that; he was never really into the whole nature thing.

Or perhaps it was because he was finally on a new lead.

Graves was reluctant in bringing his Shin-Ra ID with him.  It was risky, especially if there was a warrant put out on him.  Surely Shin-Ra would be searching for him by now.  But bribing some disgruntled and apathetic grunts with packs of cigarettes and some dirty magazines – limited edition Honeybee Inn issues – easily got him let into the restricted heart of the city.  It was the bustling center, filled with multi-story buildings, all brightly lit with a lot of Graves' temptations.  Beer, food and weapons, mostly.

A quick stop at a bar refueled him.  A cold beer, a cheeseburger – he was ready to go again.  He didn't have the money to spend on an inn, but he had caught enough sleep in the bed of the truck he hitchhiked in, so for now he would be okay.  If he managed to sneak onto a boat, he'd catch a few more winks as he lay low.  There would be a chance that Mejia would be on the same boat, but even Graves wasn't stupid enough to start a ruckus on a trip that would at least take four days minimum.  At least, that's what he was predicting.

He stopped off at a clinic and was thankful to see a few cute receptionists at the main counter, and not just thankful for the eye candy, for once.  He was able to use what little charm he had to inquire about a 'friend' who might have stopped by to be treated for a sword wound to the gut.  They were hesitant at first, but a suave smile and perhaps a little white lie that he was SOLDIER convinced them enough to admit that someone had been by the day before to be treated, but left during the night.  They had tried to tell him that since he went so long without treating the wound, that it had a high chance of getting infected.  The staff urged him to stay throughout the next few days, but he slipped through when the change of nursing shifts switched over at midnight.

The women warned Graves that he needed to find his 'friend' quick and get him further medical attention.  Graves couldn't help but snort a laugh at that.

He managed to find an embark itinerary near a dock.  It was easy to glance over on the laptop, given that the logistics bubba was visibly having trouble with the part of his job that required him to … stay awake … while waiting for a ship to dock from Costa Del Sol.  The bubba had so cleverly tried to wedge himself between a few stacks of crates, but the glow of the computer screen was visible when the shadow from a docked vessel crept along with the slowly setting sun.  It was amazing to Graves, as in the infantry division there was no time to sleep on the job, and to him, these bubbas with their cushy jobs had it made.

A few hours to kill was his biggest enemy at the moment, then it would be finding out how to exactly become a stowaway on a Shin-Ra vessel.  Of course, he was never one to worry about such potential problems, and he was also not one to really admit to potential problems to begin with.  So he wandered back into town to get a haircut.  It would be best for him to at least try and change his appearance.  It was hard for a guy like him; he was rather distinguishable.  From his height, to his muscles, to even his voice – his appearance screamed Shin-Ra, perhaps even SOLDIER.  Now, his once wiry hair was shaved down to a short fade.  He hated it.  To him, it looked even more military than what he had, but whatever would help people pass him over at a first glance.  That's all it took to recognize someone, and he wasn't going to take that chance.

The horns blew again in the distance, and after a face shave with a straight edge and a  strop, he ducked into the restroom and changed.

Not only did he bring his Shin-Ra ID, he brought his uniform.  He called himself crazy for doing so, but that uniform was able to get him back to the docks.  It was able to have eyes pass over him as he simply picked up a crate and entered the hanger of a ship to load the cargo, and he never returned.


~*~*~
After Cloud and Cissnei had left, Zack's phone decided it didn't want him to finish his breakfast – or Cloud's – and promptly rang.  He had let it ring a few times through the duration of about five minutes, with the mental excuse that his hands were much too busy washing dishes to answer.  He had peeked over at it, however, and he saw that it was from Tseng.  He eventually answered, and all that the Turk had said was for him to report to his office for a briefing.

He thought that maybe Tseng was going to stop being an insufferable bastard and finally brief him on what happened in Kalm.  But when he entered the man's office and sat down across from him, all that Tseng said was that he was being placed on a 'mandatory leave of absence'.

"A … vacation?"

"That's correct."

Zack sat staring at him intently, trying to read into his unreadable expression.  "What is this?"

"Well, usually a vacation is when an individual takes a predetermined amount of time off of work-"

"Tseng!"

"What do you want me to tell you?"

"That this is a joke."

Tseng paused in taking a sip of coffee, and he lowered the cup onto his desk.  "I'm afraid this is not a joke, Zack."

"I can't … go on a vacation right now."

"And why not?"

Zack suddenly stood, slamming his hands down onto the desktop, causing Tseng's coffee cup to rattle and nearly tip over from the force.  "Why the hell do you think?!"

Tseng just lifted his eyebrows a little on his face and just stared into Zack's angry eyes, waiting for him to continue, but all the SOLDIER did was sink back down into the chair with a heavy sigh.

A few moments passed of just Tseng waiting for Zack to speak, and Zack just staring off to the side of the large office with his arms folded across his chest.  Even Tseng's assistant had wandered in carrying several file folders to hand to him, but even then no one said anything.  It was rather awkward, but at that point Zack could care less.

"It's in Costa del Sol-"

"I don't care."

Tseng sighed a little, perhaps it was more of a scoff, but Zack, once again, could care less.  "It's only for a few days-"

"Still don't care," Zack said quickly.

"I hear the bar there serves Mojitos that are supposed to be really-"

"Still not carin' over here," Zack said, sighing casually as he spoke.

"This is mandatory, you realize."

"Damned if you do, damned if you don't, right?"

"Seems like it," Tseng responded coolly.

"This is bullshit, Tseng.  And you know it."  

"Work with me, Zack.  I need your cooperation on this," Tseng said, his voice slightly annoyed.

It was Zack's turn to scoff now, and he finally met the Turk's gaze.  He couldn't stop the gentle heave of his shoulders as his breathing began to become a little thick with irritation.  "It seems to me that no one wants to cooperate with me."

"And what do you mean by that?"

Temptation had never been so great.  Food temptations, alcohol temptations, joking or prank temptations, even sexual temptations – none compared to the one he was trying to fight at that moment.  His mind was churning with thoughts; his lips tingled with the truth.  Every ounce of strength he had in his body had to collect and focus on that fight, to try and control what sliver of patience he had left on the matter.

"Never mind, it's not important," was all he muttered in the end.

"Well, in that case," Tseng said as he stood, smoothing out his suit, "you'll be departing once you're packed."  He turned and stared out the enormous windows that lined the length of his office, and stiffly put his hands behind his back.

Zack stood as well, but slowly, almost as if he were reluctant to finish the conversation in this way.  "Can," he began, but as he spoke Tseng didn't turn to look at him, "you at least tell me why I'm being put on vacation?"

"If you have any unfinished business, I suggest you tend to that before you leave."

"Fine."  Zack threw his hands up in frustration and he went to turn to exit out of the office before he said something stupid, but his eyes flickered down to the stack of folders that the assistant brought in, and one caught his eye.  He paused for a moment, watching Tseng carefully, then slipped it out of the stack and tucked it under his arm.  And as he stepped out into the hallway, his mouth lost the battle of keeping his tongue in check.  "You know, Tseng, seems to me like you could use a mandatory leave of absence too," he blurted, then stalked off.


~*~*~
Cloud had followed the Turk down the medical ward.  He knew exactly where she was leading him.  She hadn't said a word to him during their elevator ride, and he was so nervous around her and about where she was taking him, that he nearly vomited up the nice breakfast that Zack was so kind to make.  He had to turn away from her to at least try and block her from his mind, but he could see her reflection in the brass handrail that he was gripping tightly, and even though she was looking nowhere near his direction, he still felt as if her eyes were digging into him.  She had only glanced at him briefly when she entered Zack's apartment, but he still felt her gaze lingering on him.

It was a bit embarrassing to be seen by a Turk – let alone a woman – in Zack's apartment.  He only wondered what she perceived the situation to be, and he wondered what she was thinking of him, and of Zack, and if she were to report them to the officials.  He didn't want to get Zack in trouble for anything.  Favoritism, sexual harassment, rape, whatever else someone could pin on the man and their relationship.  Cloud wouldn't be able to live with himself if he knew that Zack would be charged with something because of him.  

He told himself that he cared too much of what others thought of him, but he couldn't help and worry about things like that.  It was hard to convince himself that sometimes people just didn't care, and that he was looking too far into things.  But this was a Turk.  It was her job to report on potential threats to the company.  But then again … how did she know he was at Zack's to begin with?  Did the company already know?

Now, he was standing outside of the psychologist's office.  Dread – that's all he began to feel.  Any nausea from the nervous elevator ride, any lingering feelings of happiness from being with Zack, even his musing about the company – it was all gone now, replaced with a sinking feeling in his stomach.  He really hated being there.

The Turk just simply turned on her heels and walked off.

That was it?  Shin-Ra went through the trouble of sending one of their finest out so early in the morning, just so he could be escorted to his appointment?  Granted, he had forgotten about it, and now he was somewhat thankful, as he didn't feel like being thrown in the brig for not showing up to it, but he was left wondering why they just didn't send an infantryman, or even a lower class SOLDIER.  Then again, he remembered that his orders were delivered by that redheaded Turk, and now he began to wonder how big of a thing this all was, and the reasoning behind all the … special treatment.

And yet, despite that overwhelming feeling of dread, he found himself entering her office.  The front desk was just as strangely decorated as the woman's office, and he wondered if she had chosen to decorate it herself, as it looked like no other office in the building.  At least, none that he had ever stepped foot in.  Perhaps the Turks' offices were decorated similarly.  He then wondered what the president's office looked like – anything to get his mind off of the fact that he was signing in on a clipboard without even receiving a greeting from the receptionist.  Of course, if he had bothered to lift his head and gain the courage to look, he would have noticed that she was on the phone.

After a few minutes, the woman he really didn't want to see came out of her office and greeted him.  He didn't even really hear her.  He just heard his name and he followed her mindlessly.  He ignored the fact that a few paintings on the walls had changed to something a bit more lively, and even the music they played overhead was changed to something a little less monotonous.

But her office was still the same.  That couch was still as strange, the rug still as baffling in design, that pillow still sitting there, as if waiting for him to continue questioning its purpose.  He was almost glad to see that the pillow was still there – it was becoming familiar in a strange way.

"How are you today, Cloud?"

"I'm fine," he mumbled quickly, sitting down on the couch.

She smiled at him warmly from her desk, folding her hands neatly in front of her.  "That's good to hear."

Cloud fiddled with the drawstrings on his shorts.  "Um … h-how are you?"

That smile of hers grew wider.  He had never asked her how she had been, or even bothered to inquire any more about her or her opinion on matters.  He just always sat there waiting for everything to be over.  "I'm very well today, thank you for asking."

"Good … you're welcome."

"How have you been feeling?  Your injuries, I mean."

"Fine."

The psychologist paused for a moment, her shoulders squared in a confident, yet somehow welcoming posture, and Cloud wondered if she took a class on how to train her demeanor to stay so intimidatingly friendly.  "The word 'fine'," she finally said, "is used so neutrally now, don't you think?"  Her eyes watched as Cloud kept his head cast down towards the drawstrings as he played with it in a pattern.  "It's lost its true meaning the more and more that it's so casually offered in conversation.  How about we try using a word that describes how you are really feeling?"

"There's … no other word.  I'm fine, that's it, Ma'am."

"Well, I can accept that, if that's how you are really feeling.  But I would like to see you try and use words that pinpoint your emotions more accurately."  She watched as he stopped the pattern and dropped the string, placing his hands on his knees.  "Do you think you can at least try that sometime soon?"

Cloud shrugged his shoulders.  "Maybe."

"I think you should try.  If you're not comfortable with me, then maybe you can try with a friend when you're ready."

"Maybe."

They sat in a brief silence, which made Cloud uncomfortable, so he began to play with the drawstrings again.

"Were you at the gym this morning?"  She motioned to the clothes he wore.  "Exercising is a good way of focusing yourself, but you shouldn't do too much right now."

He quickly shook his head and his leg began to bounce slightly.  "No, it was just comfortable to wear."

She nodded respectively, and then fell silent for a few moments.  

Cloud could hear the sound of the little clock on her desk tick, and with each second that passed by seemed to etch into his nerves, making his mind turn quickly.  The little pillow next to him shifted as the couch began to shake when his leg bounced more.

"Have you been taking your medication that the infirmary prescribed you?"

"Yeah," he said quickly, dismissively.

"Then why are you so nervous right now?  You seem even more so than last I saw you."

He suddenly grabbed the pillow and looked as if he wanted to hold it, but he merely shifted it back to where it once was, before he spoke tentatively.  "Am I … going to be reprimanded?"

She tried to hide the strange look that crossed over her face at his words, but somehow couldn't.  "Now, why would you think that?"

"Because I almost forgot this appointment, and I was really late."

"You weren't reprimanded the first time you skipped several weeks ago.  What makes you think you're in trouble now?"

Cloud continued the bouncing of his leg, but now was twirling that string between his fingers once again.  "Last time a Turk didn't come and get me."

She stayed silent for a while, unmoving, save for her eyes that watched him from behind her reading glasses.  When she sucked in a breath to speak, it caused Cloud to flinch involuntarily, and the pillow beside him tumbled off of the couch.  "Well," she said, and watched when he went to bend forward to get it, he seemed to be in a bit of discomfort.  "I'm certainly not going to reprimand you.  I'm just here to listen, not to judge or discipline you for anything you do or say."

He ignored her and took his attention out on adjusting the pillow once more.

"Your superiors suggested that you help me in my offices while you're on light duty."

"What …?"  Cloud turned his head slowly, looking rather pale suddenly.  "But … I'm terrible at office work."

She removed her reading glasses and folded them neatly on her desk.  "It'll only be for a few days while my secretary is on vacation."

"No, please," he said, scooting to the edge of the couch, his eyes large and pleading.

"It'll just be some filing, organizing.  Maybe answering the phones."

"Can't you talk to my superiors?  I feel fine – I can go back to full duty."

"We can talk about this at the end of the session.  Right now I'd like for us to talk about-"

He cut her off, but as he spoke, his voice was wavering and barely above a whisper.  "I would really like it if I can get assigned to something else, and we just … only see each other when I have to."

"When you have to?  Are you saying that you didn't come here of your own accord?"

Cloud stayed silent, his leg continuing its nervous movement.  He did nothing, he said nothing.  His eyes just stared off into a painting hanging on her wall, but it seemed as if he wasn't actually looking at it.

"Cloud?"  She peered at him, studying his bland facial expression.  She'd like to think that she couldn't believe it, but Shin-Ra was conniving and manipulative.  She was foolish to think that Cloud was appearing on his own will, and now she sat staring at him, and found herself sighing perhaps not so inaudibly.  She was very disappointed.  She thought that he was slowly seeking out her help.  "Were you ordered to appear here?"

He was still silent, but his bottom lip retracted back into his mouth.

"Either way, you're being forced," she said quietly.

He scoffed, turning his head in her direction, but still not creating any sort of lingering eye contact.  "Damned if you do-"

"Sometimes we're damned no matter what, it seems."


~*~*~
Zack wasn't happy.  He was incredibly angry, in fact.  So angry that he didn't even really bother thinking things through as he packed a small bag for his 'vacation'.  A simple pair of swim trunks, his toothbrush … really, he was a simple guy who had simple needs.

And what he needed was to find Cloud before his helicopter left to take him to Junon for the connecting flight across the ocean to the other continent.  He had maybe a little under an hour left, and he still needed to drop off the weekly report to the psychologist's office before he left for 'a few days'.

What was 'a few days' anyway?  A few days to him meant two or three.  A few days to Shin-Ra could mean a lifetime.  He was wary, and he was frustrated.  His knuckles were still sore and scabbed over from a few nights prior, but that still wasn't enough to stop him from hitting a few more unsuspecting walls.  

Not only was there too much going on with Cloud, he still was left in the dark about anything going on with Mejia's whereabouts, and even the Genesis copies that were continuing to run amok everywhere.  Why – with only Sephiroth as the only other 1st – were they sending him out to go bask in the sun and do absolutely nothing constructive with his time?

Of course he liked to lounge around once in a while, but his abundance of energy kept that on a short time constraint.  He knew after scoping out the bars and food and spending a few hours tanning, perhaps, that he'd be stir crazy.  He'd want out of that seemingly happy town and back into action.  His last mission left a more than sour taste in his mouth, and he craved some sort of aggressive release that wouldn't land him into some sort of trouble.  Something – anything.  He'd take fighting monsters again over a 'vacation'.

His footsteps were paced at an alarming rate, and he whisked past people in the hallways who were trotting, while he was merely walking.  His legs carried him where he needed to go in a decent amount of time, and he was happy to see the psychologist's office coming into view.

The report was lacking, of course, and not because Zack wanted to omit anything, it was just that he hadn't seen Cloud much since he returned from his mission with Reno.  'Withdrawn', 'distant', 'irritable' – all words he included in the report rather reluctantly.  He almost felt like lying in it, saying that Cloud opened up to him and confessed to him everything, but he, at this point, still wasn't sure if Cloud was ordered to not mention anything or not.  It would only make sense.  But then a part of him was afraid that Cloud was keeping this to himself for reasons that Zack couldn't grasp.  The only thing he could think of was Cloud not wanting him to worry, or perhaps treat him any differently, or delicately.

Zack was almost … offended, in a strange way, and he was upset with himself for even thinking he had the right to think something like that when he had no idea what was going on in Cloud's head.  But it was because he had no idea what was going on in Cloud's head that he felt that way.  He wondered if Cloud trusted him, if he had faith in his ability to be strong for him, to take care of him and be there for him whenever he needed it, and for any reason.  Why could Cloud run to him the night he learned of Elici's death?  There was Graves and Ratcliff at the time, hell, even Kunsel that he could have ran to for comfort.  So why did the boy decide to run to him at two in the morning for that?  What if he had been asleep when Cloud got there, and he didn't hear him at the door?  What if he wasn't even there?  What would Cloud have done?

But Cloud took that chance.  He passed up others that night, and he picked Zack to share his pain with.  That must have meant that he trusted him, and that he believed in them as friends … or so, Zack hoped.

And as Zack neared the office, the door opened and Cloud exited.

They both momentarily froze, but Zack shifted the report a little into his body so it wasn't so visible, and Cloud … just continued to stare at him, incredibly pale.

"Hey!"

Cloud shifted uncomfortably on his feet, his eyes darting past Zack as if Zack hadn't noticed him yet, and he was trying to find a way to slip past, unnoticed.

But Zack just smiled at him warmly, waiting for Cloud to respond as he still was silent.  Zack took a somewhat nervous step forward, assuming that he was embarrassed over being seen coming from the psychologist's office, and as he suspected, Cloud looked as if he were beginning to panic as he neared.

"Zack … I, uh ..." he stammered, his eyes trying to stay on the man, but flickered away occasionally.  "I was just doing an errand …"

"Cloud, listen," Zack started, taking another step forward.  A few people passed by them in the hall, and Cloud turned his head nervously to each one as they walked by.  "I need to talk to you for just one sec, if you have it.  It's nothing bad, I just–"

Cloud shook his head vigorously, visible panic crossing his face.  Why was Zack in this ward?  This was the medical ward … there was nothing wrong with Zack, so why was he here walking towards the psychologist's office?  He really didn't want the man to know that he was seeing her still.  It would be understandable, but he didn't even want the faintest idea put into Zack's head that things were probably worse off than they already seemed.

"S-sorry, I have to go."  He didn't realize that he started running down the hall until Zack called out after him.  His legs moved on their own; he couldn't stop himself.  He didn't even know why he was running.

"Cloud …"  Zack sighed to himself, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his hand as Cloud threw himself into the elevator and the door closed.  He didn't have time to go running after him, although he wanted to.  His helicopter was waiting, and he couldn't even tell Cloud that he was leaving.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~
...To be continued in Chapter Twenty-Eight: Distance.