Possession

Disclaimer: Contains violent sex, some non-consensual. Be warned!

********************

And I would be the one to hold you down
Kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
And after I wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes, dear

********************

Weariness struck him to the core of his being, and he felt as though his flesh were made of stone, his bones of lead. A slow, nagging pain blossomed and receeded behind his eyes, keeping up a steady, inexorable rhythm that reminded him of the ocean's waves. It had been a long day and a longer week, running every which way in a vain attempt to find Sephiroth, just barely managing to track him. And then Elena, in the cave, spilling all their plans to Avalanche...Rude hadn't even noticed her babbling he'd been so intent on imagining the myriad hideous tortures he could inflict on the ones that had hurt Reno.

Reno. The thought of his partner was the only thing that had kept him going these past few days. As long as he kept telling himself that he would see Reno again soon, everything else seemed somehow secondary. His partner's crystal green eyes had filled his dreams, steadied his mind and nerves, given him something to live for. The memory of those eyes, filled with love, had convinced Rude that there were, indeed, things worth fighting for. Perhaps Elena had been right when she'd claimed love was wonderful. It had certainly kept him going.

And now he was so close...A few more steps and he would be at the door to Reno's rooms. They had arrived at the inn shortly after entering town in order to rendevous with Reno, who had been discharged from the hospital. After the incident in the caves, Tseng had decided that Reno didn't need any time off to recover (a fact which Reno had been loudly proclaiming even when he'd been unable to sit up on his own) and he had sent to Midgar for him. Rude had been dispatched to pick up his partner and rejoin Tseng and Elena in Junon and now...so close...

He lifted a large hand to knock on the door, but paused. There was noise inside, a soft shuffling and a squeak of bedsprings, and he started to back away. If Reno was going to bed, best to leave him alone until morning. As much as he ranted and raved about being all right, Reno was still not fully healed and a full night's sleep would do him good. He had waited this long to see his partner. What was one more night alone?

Then he heard, from behind the door, a giggle. High-pitched, teasing, unmistakably female. How many times had he heard that same sound drifting through the thin walls of a crummy motel? How many times had he been forced to lay silent in his bed, staring at the ceiling while next door Reno and some little slut fucked all night long, laughing and moaning? Always, he had endured, gritted his teeth and held his tongue because it was none of his business what Reno chose to do on his own time. That was before, though, when the only claim he'd had on Reno was that of a friend and a partner. That was before Reno had said I love you in a hospital bed.

The door came open with a crash and Rude had enough presence of mind to note that it hadn't been locked. Sloppy. Reno lay sprawled on the bed, shirtless, barefoot, pants unbuttoned and hanging from his narrow hips. Picture-perfect. The girl beside him, hand on his stomach, was a whore. It was written in every line of her body, in the careful strokes of her bright makeup. She was surprised at first, red mouth forming a little O and quickly settling into a lewd smile as she took in his body. They all looked at him like that at first, coveting the strength that he so carefully preserved. It made his skin crawl every time.

"Rude!" Reno sat up, beaming happily. Totally oblivious, as usual. Rude gritted his teeth, tried to choke down the red that clouded his vision. "You're right on time." He cast a significant glance at the hooker out of the corner of one crystal eye and wiggled his eyebrows. Slowly, deliberately, Rude cracked his knuckles.

"Get out," he said, his voice a careful monotone in spite of the rage that roiled in him. Control, that's what it was all about. You lose control, you lose it all. "NOW." Confused, the whore stood up and smoothed her skintight leather skirt. She looked fairly new at it, none of the jaded weariness around her eyes, and her body was all curves; Reno had obviously gone to some trouble to find her. Cold fury sent his vision spinning.

"What's going on, big man?" she cooed, fluttering false lashes at him, casting looks back at Reno. She wobbled a bit on her high heels as she crossed the room to stand in front of him. One white hand lifted to stroke his chest, red nails like claws, and he grabbed her wrist more harshly than was necessary. The girl cried out in pain, eyes widening as she shrunk away. Fuck, she could only have been fifteen or sixteen, and her china blue irises reminded him of Elena. He felt weary and old and with a growl of disgust, he released her.

"Get the fuck out." No emotion came through in his voice and she, with a little sob of relief, fled the room. The door slammed behind her and Rude turned to Reno. All the anger flooded back, all the fury at being betrayed and the pain that hrustrust had brought him. Weak. The word rang in his skull, made him dizzy with disgust. Love had made him weak, just as he'd said it would.

"Rude, man!" Reno was sitting up now, slightly disgruntled and more than a little nervous. He couldn't see past the stony exterior or the mirrored glass that held Rude in check but they had been partners so long that he could very nearly read Rude like a book. He sensed the anger, if not fully, and he held his hands out in a universal gesture of peace. "Calm down, my friend."

"Who was she?" It was the only thing on Rude's mind. Not why, not when, not how many times. Only who. Who was she that she was better than him?

"Just a hooker!" Reno exlaimed, lips curving in a half smile. That's right, you little fucker. Charm me. "Just a welcome back present for you, you know? I figured we could have some drinks, have some fun..." He shrugged, easy. Liquid. There were still bruises mottling his porcelain skin, scars from where he'd had stitches. He was a broken, battered toy reaching desperately for understanding. Rude was silent. "Come on, Rude..." Nervous now, his long fingers began to pluck at his pants. "Say something..."

"You." Reno flinched at the coldness in Rude's voice. Rude could see in his eyes that he knew the situation was past salvaging. "You thought we could have 'fun', huh? So you were going to fuck a hooker." Reno's smile faltered and he rose up on his knees. Auburn , du, dulled somewhat from his recent ill health, spilled across his white shoulders as he held his arms out.

"Baby, I thought you wouldn't mind," he purred. Charm to seduction, quick as a flash. Rude bared his teeth and reached up, removing his glasses so that Reno could see the full gravity of what he had done. The smaller man flinched, shrunk away from the hatred and fury that burned in Rude's eyes. Still steady, still cold, Rude approached the bed.

"You thought wrong," he replied. One huge hand twisted in Reno's hair, snapping his head back, forcing him to arch neck and back as Rude bent him towards the bed. He whimpered and beneath the thin cage of skin and ribs, Rude could see his heart pounding. He knew he was in deep shit, knew that he had fucked up so royally this time that there was no talking his way out of it.

"Rude," he whispered. "Please..."

"Do you remember what you told me at the hospital?" Rude's voice had deepened, a bass thunder that originated somewhere in his stomach. Reno's eyes shut tightly, tears leaking out from behind his trembling lashes, and he made a tiny noise of acknowledgement.

"Told you I loved you," he gasped. "I do. Rude, baby, please..." Rude shook him viciously, hating the pleading in his partner's voice and hating himself for enjoying it. His dick was hard, ready, and looking down at Reno's helplessness only made it ache worse.

"Please what, you little shit?" Rude snarled. He yanked Reno up from the bed, tossed him to the floor. It was easy; Reno was light as a feather and he went down hard, stifling a cry of pain as his elbow struck the hard wood.

"Please don't hurt me," he murmured, arms wrapped around himself. He shivered like a whipped dog and Rude couldn't stop the smile that split his features. This was what it was all about. This was what he had learned in the slums, in the gutters and alleyways of his youth. It was all about superiority, being harder and colder and quicker than your opponent. He hadn't felt the rush of victory in a long time and he paused to savor it before speaking, so softly that Reno had to strain to hear.

"Oh, Reno..." He began to loosen his tie, peel off his coat. Shoes, socks, white linen shirt. All lay in a heap on the floor as he smiled, a shark's smile, scenting blood. "I'm not going to hurt you." Reno didn't relax, didn't believe him. Stupid rich boy knew something after all, maybe. "I'm going to make you wish you were never born."

Reno cried out then, involuntarily, and bent his head to show the back of his neck. Primal instincts drove him to it, the animal part of his brain screaming at him to submit. Rude had seen it a million times before, from men and women who sensed that their lives were in danger. It was a last ditch effort to avoid death and pain and it never worked. Not on him. "Go. Lock the door."

Reno did as he was told, scrambling to his feet and hurrying over to the door. Self-preservation kicked in for a second as he stood with his hand on the door knob. Rude expected him to run, to seek shelter with Tseng or Elena. Instead, after a moment of hesitation, Reno slipped the lock and turned to face Rude. He held his head high, awaiting his punishment. Determination shone in his green eyes, determination to take it like a man. Rude had seen that, also, right at the end. Stupid bravado that never did any good. It didn't matter if you were standing or sitting, stoic or grovelling like a beast. All that mattered was that it was the end.

He gestured curtly aeno eno came back to him, a dog called to heel, and with quick blow to the shoulder, Rude knocked him back to his knees. Reno bit his full lips, refusing to cry out, and his eyes stared love and defiance up into Rude's face. Too late, little man. Too late. He shucked his pants, his boxers, and Reno's eyes widened slightly at the sight of Rude's erect cock. He tried to shuffle back but Rude had him by the hair, holding his head steady. "Open your mouth," he snarled and Reno obeyed, tears coursing down his cheeks.

He slipped the head of his prick past Reno's lips and Reno, as though in reflex, curled around it and began to suck gently. Rude paused a moment, let his hand relax in his partner's hair as he enjoyed the sensation. It had been a long, long time since anyone had touched him and he waited for the hot excitement coursing through his belly to lessen. Reno began to moan, hands coming up hesitantly to rest on Rude's hips and Rude, seeing that he had lost the advantage, thrust hard.

Reno gagged, fingers curving into desperate claws as the tip of Rude's cock brushed the back of his throat and kept going. Fully sheathed in Reno's hot, wet little mouth, Rude was forced to stop again, to choke down the pleasure that set his muscles to trembling. Blunt fingers tangled painfully in his partner's hair as he began to move Reno's head, forcing the whimpering man's mouth to slide up and down his shaft. Reno's nails dug hard into his flesh and he could tell that it hurt, could hear the whining and the sobbing breaths below him. He didn't care; he revelled in it, in getting back some of his own. Let Reno suffer to feed his pleasure. It was payback time.

Faster, he moved Reno's head, pumping it up and down as he thrust deeper and deeper into his partner's throat. Fuck, it felt good, the way his tight little throat closed up in protest around the head of Rude's cock, the way his moans and wordless pleas caused the muscles in his esophagus to vibrate. Rude was so close he could taste it and although the image of him spilling his seed into Reno's waiting mouth was gorgeous, he pulled his partner off of him, thrust him away roughly. Reno fell to the floor in a sprawl of arms and legs, sobbing raggedly and clutching at his throat. Rude left him for a moment, content merely to study Reno's puffy, bruised lips. They were full, red, swollen against his pale skin. Almost beautiful.

When Reno's breathing had quieted somewhat, Rude was on him again. One huge hand closed around Reno's narrow arm, hauled him upright and tossed him to the mattress. Rude curled his fingers around Reno's neck, holding him there facedown as he kicked his partner's legs wide and tore the trousers from his hips. "Rude," he moaned, his voice rough with tears and abuse. "Rude, stop..."

"You know why I'm doing this, Reno." It wasn't a question or a statement. It was a command, and Reno cringed beneath him, reluctant to answer. Rude slipped a finger into his mouth, wetting it thoroughly and teasing the puckered opening to Reno's body. Reno cried out, sobbed in terror as he shook his head.

"Nonononono..." He wept into the sheets, tried to squirm away as Rude's finger breached his body, thrust hard into him. A scream ripped its way from his throat and Rude's cock twitched eagerly. Yeah. Fuck, yeah, you little bastard. Scream for me... "Rude, no, please." Harsh, rasping sobs filled the room, mingled with involuntary cries of pleasure as Rude found his partner's prostate, stroked it teasingly. "Baby, please. I love you. Don't do this to me..."

A second finger joined the first and Rude scissored them apart, stretching Reno wide. He loosened easily in spite of the fear that shook his body. Slut. He'd been used before now, probably many times over. Rude felt no sympathy for him. "Shut your fucking mouth," he said, withdrawing his fingers and flipping Reno over. Easier perhaps to fuck him from behind, but he wanted to see that beautiful face, look into those crystal eyes.

The bed dipped as he added his weight to Reno's, pinning him down. A desperate, keening wail rose from deep in Reno's chest as he struggled toe hie himself but he was too weak, Rude too large, and he subsided, shivering, as Rude positioned himself. "I love you, Reno," he murmured, jerking his hips sharply and burying the tip of his cock in Reno's body. His partner's mouth opened in a scream but no sound came out. His vocal chords were exhausted.

"Then don't do it," heped,ped, fingers tracing Rude's features, lingering near his eyes. "Don't hurt me anymore." Rude smiled, baring his teeth, and began to press into Reno's tight, resisting body. His partner squirmed beneath him, trying to escape, but all his movements accomplished was to pull Rude deeper into his body. Rude watched him struggle, knowing in the back of his mind that he was hurting Reno, raping him, but he didn't care anymore. He was sick of waiting, sick of holding back. This should have been his, only his, years ago.

"I love you, Reno." Truth, desperate truth from the part of him that screamed for him to stop. "So much..." He wanted Reno to say yes, to say it was okay for him to keep going. He wanted Reno to see that the pain was transient, it would pass, he had lost his temper. So long. God, he'd waited so long and then to walk in and see Reno with a whore had destroyed him, it had torn him down. He wanted to say it, tried to say it, but the words wouldn't come out.

Reno looked into his eyes and knew.

They moved together then, Reno still hesitant, still frightened, but wanting to make it better between them. Rude could feel it in his touch, in the feather-light dancing of Reno's fingertips across his back. He wanted it all to be all rignd hnd he accepted the pain as part of what would heal the rift. His legs parted willingly and Rude buried himself deep, all the way in until Reno screamed hoarsely in pleasure. "Fuck me," he begged, his legs twining around Rude's waist. "Hurt me."

Rude obliged, pulling back and thrusting hard into his partner. Fuck, he was tight and so, so beautiful lying there with his lips open and his eyes closed. Rude leaned down, claimed Reno's mouth in a fierce kiss, his tongue matching his hips, his throat swallowing up Reno's cries of pleasure. Tears still ran down Reno's smooth cheeks, but they were tears of ecstasy now as Rude pounded brutally into him, huge hands gripping his birdlike hips, pulling him hard into each thrust. The heat, the pain, they spiralled into something greater, brought Rude's focus down to one singular point and then split it, flinging him wide. He saw white as the blood rushed through him, as he came, as Reno shrieked in pleasure and followed him, shuddering and spilling himself across their stomachs.

Slowly, Rude drifted back to himself, pulled out of his partner and rolled to the side. Reno moaned softly, curved towards him, and Rude wrapped his arms around the fragile body next to him and pulled it close. "I'm sorry." Both of them said it in the same instant and both of them smiled, laughed tiredly. There was nothing else to say. No explaining needed to be done; Reno understood why Rude had hurt him and Rude understood why Reno had done what he had done. All of it, all the excuses and apologies and protestations of love, was communicated in a single look and then Reno shut his eyes as Rude's thumb wiped away the tears that lingered on his cheeks.

They fell asleep in each other's arms, bruised and battered and guilty, knowing that tomorrow they would have to begin the hunt anew, that they would probably die in the course of it. Neither of them cared as long as they died as they had lived. Together.