Convergence [2]: Blood Roses

~ 4 ~

If there was an 'everyday' activity that Squall Leonhart loathed, it was using the telephone. He relied occasionally on the office staff to make calls in his stead, although when they involved methodical business transactions (as they usually did), he didn't have a difficult time at all. Personal calls were what he hated-- he went to great lengths to avoid returning Laguna's, and remained in conversation with Ellone for only short periods at a time.

This call, however, was one he could not avoid making himself-- and although he tried repeatedly to tell himself that it regarded strictly business, he knew that when it came down to it, that was the last thing it would be.

He had already been sitting on his nice new leather couch in Balamb-G's finest quarters for an hour, with the phone flipping slowly between his hands, wondering what it was like for Rinoa to be in a place so ravaged by internal conflict. Was she poor now, living on the streets? Had she abandoned her pride instead and gone back to her father when it all became too much for her? She and her companions were possibly rich of their own right, selling weapons, or maybe drugs. Maybe she was *on* drugs. That would be a good way for her to get on the streets. She probably wasn't living at her old address. For all Squall knew, that address no longer existed. It could have been blown up. *She* could have been blown up.

A slightly panicked thumb hit the 'talk' button, and he dialed her number with automatic strokes before raising it to his ear. It rang once, twice, and with each he got closer to hanging up. "This number is no longer in service," informed the operator's recording after a soft click. "Please hang up and--" He cut her off, opened his notepad, and tried Caraway before he could convince himself not to. To his surprise the man himself picked up, his greeting rough and detached.

"General Caraway, this is Squall Leonhart of Bal--"

"Oh... my."

Squall paused for a moment, jolted from his rehearsed introduction. "Sir, I'm--"

"You're looking for my daughter, aren't you, son?"

"Well, yes," Squall replied, cringing. The man should not have still been calling him 'son,' but at least he was getting to the point. "I'm hoping you might know how I could contact her."

Caraway's voice lost a bit of its volume. "I'm sorry, she isn't here. I haven't heard from her in months. As far as I know, she's still in Timber with that little owl club of hers."

Glad he hadn't assumed she would be at home, Squall continued, "Do you have a phone number? An address?"

"Yes, I have the former. She called me once, and I traced it. No one picks up when I try to call... but at least it still works. I leave her a message every week, though I have no idea whether or not she gets them." The General only paused for a moment-- it was obvious he had the number memorized. He recited it slowly, giving Squall time to scribble it down. "Do you think you'll find her?"

"That's the idea."

"If you do... please bring her home. She belongs at home."

"It's not up to me, sir."

"It can be. I don't doubt she still loves you. She'll listen to you. Try."

Squall's eyes slammed shut-- that was the last thing he needed to hear. "I'll try," he confirmed reluctantly, eager to end the conversation, "Goodbye, General."

"Good luck. Hopefully yours will be better than mine," Caraway added before hanging up.

Squall doubted it. He turned off the phone and glanced at the glass of his balcony door, past which the wind dusted snow across cement. It looked terribly inviting, right then-- he picked up his twice-refilled mug and went outside, remembering to close the door behind him this time. Shiva stirred excitedly at the touch of a breeze that tickled pleasantly at his shirtsleeves, refreshing them both. Maybe he would summon her later, far out in the snowfields, just to let her breathe. He was feeling her suffocation, too.

He rested his cup on the rail and leaned a shoulder into the wall, his back to the bright arctic sun. It hadn't been necessary to write down the new number. Caraway's recital of it replayed in his mind as he dialed. The line only rang once before Rinoa's voice crackled into his ear, "Leave a message." A few seconds later it bleeped, and he was left to summarize everything he had to say within a few compact sentences. It took a while for him to gather his thoughts, and even when he did, he could only say, "Rinoa." He took a breath. "It's--"

Click. "Squall?"

"Yeah."

The awkward pause that followed seemed to last much longer than it did.

"Why are you calling me?" It was impossible to label what emotion her tone held. She sounded much more indifferent than Squall had expected, and although it was a little unnerving, he was grateful for it.

"Balamb Garden would like to... hire you, and Zone and Watts. For a mission."

"They're dead."

"Pardon me?"

"Watts, Zone. Dead." He voice remained toneless. Squall took his mug from the halo it had melted in the railing's snow and sipped away the sandpaper now attacking his mouth.

"...How?"

"Someone planted a bomb in a train six months ago. That's how Watts went, at least it looks that way, because he hasn't shown up again. Zone took a bullet a month later. Twenty-seven of them, actually."

Squall put his cup back down, the smell of coffee suddenly revolting. "I'm sorry."

Rinoa laughed, a near-silent titter, before replying, "You don't know 'sorry,' Squall. When your husband's face gets torn up to a pulp right in front of you, then we can talk about 'sorry.'"

If Squall had still been holding his mug, it would have shattered at his feet. "You were married?"

"Seems so; that's what the band on my left hand suggests. But it's okay, he would have died of stomach cancer a little while later anyway-- that, or autoerotic asphyxiation." She chuckled again, and Squall could hardly breathe. He was beginning to question who he was talking to. "At least I still have Angelo, my survivor. He's my baby. Yeah, aren't you, baby?" she cooed, her voice high over the muted sound of a hand patting fur. Squall's questioning ceased. No doubt, it was Rinoa. "So, do you still want me without the boys around anymore?"

"... Yes, you would still be a valuable asset."

"A 'valuable asset?'"

Squall switched the phone into his other hand to wipe a sweaty palm on his thigh. "Yeah."

"Doesn't your Garden have its own stash of 'valuable assets' to pimp out?"

She didn't like being called an asset, obviously. Squall tried a different tactic. "SeeD isn't equipped to take care of this specific problem. We... I need your help, Rinoa."

"Well, now I'm just curious-- Angelo, off. I'm on the phone, darn it, I'll scratch your ears later-- What in the world can't SeeD do that I can?"

Squall sighed and turned to the railing, squinting down at the vast tree-spotted fields of snow below. Trabia Garden could be seen sparkling beautifully, halfway between where he stood and the horizon, its yellow exterior's construction long completed. He stared at it despite the bright sunlight that made him want to turn away. So far north, the sun never seemed to rise before it set, always in the position to blind. "I won't discuss anything more right now. Your line could be tapped."

"Let me guess, you want to meet?"

"I do." A dot of red scarred the sky, to the far right. Ragnarok. At least he wouldn't have to make another call to ask Laguna if he could borrow it. "I can pick you up tomorrow."

"Wow, that's soon."

"I can wait a few days, too, if that's what you want. But only a few."

"Tomorrow's perfect."

That sparkling dot neared enough to look like the dragon it emulated. "Time and place?"

"Hmm..." there was a pause, and a faint tapping sound, "Would ten a.m. be too early? Outside the front gates?"

"That's fine."

"Okay." Rinoa's voice softened to a level that bordered on nervousness, "Hey... is Seifer there still, with you?"

Squall blinked a few surprised times. "Uh... yeah, he is..."

"Bring him, will you? I'd like to see him. We have some of our own business to clear up."

*What the hell...?* She had been scared to death of him last Squall knew, and now she was *asking* for him? "Whatever... I'll let him know, but it's his choice."

"I understand." Rinoa cleared her throat, a high-pitched sound, "I guess this is when we sign off."

"Yeah--"

"And... Squall?"

"What?"

"It's good to hear from you."

"... You too," he replied, an automatic response. He didn't really have another option, whether he wanted one or not. She sounded like she was reciting a formality herself, anyway.

"Bye." Rinoa hung up before Squall could mirror the word.

He dropped his arm from his ear and took his cup into his other hand, then ducked inside to toss it the phone onto the sofa. Outside again, he cradled the mug in both hands, resting his elbows on the rail as he prepared to watch Laguna finish his flight. "That went well," he mumbled sarcastically, though his sarcasm didn't hold merit-- there had been no yelling, nor any crying, and Rinoa had agreed to meet with him with barely any information to go on. It *had* gone well.

Of course, Zone and Watts were dead-- leaving her Knightless. That part wasn't so good.

The snow nestled pleasantly around Squall's elbows, and Shiva stirred again. This time, it reminded him-- he had asked Zell to remove his junction for the sake of his own mind, yet he hadn't done the same with his. "Sorry," he whispered, before letting her go. A comfortable weight seemed to lift from his back, leaving him with an unwelcome emptiness like that which remained after a hug that hadn't lasted long enough. Rarely did he remove her at all-- he was only doing it this time because it was the fair thing to do after the order he had given his friend. Sure, keeping her around most of the time defied his own policy, but it wasn't like he had anyone to answer to.

The snow burned at his elbows quite quickly, the wind gnawing ferociously at his bare arms and ears. A sip from his mug found his coffee ice cold and muddy. He would stay out only until Laguna arrived.

If only his near-constant junctioning was why Zell had stormed off so happily an hour ago-- that would have been so much easier. If Zell was trying to hide his anger at Squall's rejection, he failed miserably. Squall would have to talk to him or, more likely, get him to talk. That wouldn't be very hard. Then he would just listen, and try to explain things in as few words as possible without hurting him --or himself-- too much.

He would also have to find Seifer and pass on Rinoa's request, as well as give him the lecture he deserved for whatever he had said to Laguna. If they were going to travel together they would do so in peace, or not at all.

The Ragnarok finally got close enough to drown out his thoughts, its engines a roaring pulse that spread fans in the snow behind the craft as it landed. A man-shaped dot emerged soon after-- Laguna, of course. Squall raised an arm and waved until he was pretty sure Laguna waved back, and went inside. He had developed and intense shiver, so he dumped his coffee into the kitchen sink and poured some more, draining the pot before turning the machine off. After drinking it quickly despite how it burned his mouth and throwing on his jacket, he left for his office.

~*~*~

"Squall! What in Hyne's name are you doing here?"

"There's work to do," Squall replied, not even slowing as he entered the main office-- that which held the elevator to the bridge, as well as two desks, one for Nida and one for Xu. They doubled as secretaries when not fulfilling other duties. 'Secretary' was the label loosely used for those who took on nearly as much paperwork and administrative duties as Squall did, aside from those that required his specific authority. Nida, the pilot of a Garden that moved but twice a year (back to Balamb to drop students off for their winter and summer vacations, respectively), had taken on the job nearly full time, and was more devoted to the work than Squall could have hopor. or. For some reason, however, he was absent for his desk at the moment.

That same voice finally stopped him and turned him around just as he began to head left towards his own office, an offshoot of the main one. "I don't think so, Squall. You had a rough time this week. Rest today." Quistis was perched on the edge of Xu's desk, a cardboard cup of tea in one hand.

"I do think so," he countered. Thanks to Quistis' lof mof management skills, his desk had likely become a lazer-printed mountain by now.

She smiled curtly at him. "I won't get into an argument with you. You're the one who hired me as student counsellor-- I suggest you follow your own reasoning and take my advice."

"Shouldn't you be 'counselling' right now, now that you mention it?"

Xu leaned back in her chair to peer at him past Quistis' midriff. "Lunchtime doesn't end for another twenty minutes. You really should get a watch, you know." She winked at him, sipping from her own cup, "You worry about the time so much..."

Squall shook his head, somewhat miffed. Whether he had a watch or not, time wouldn't refrain from passing quickly. He didn't need some *thing* strapped to his wrist to tell him to rush when he knew he would have to anyway. He glanced at the door across the main office from his, finding the window blackened, adding to his state of miff. "Why isn't Seifer here?"

"He's back in his apartment, I would guess, resting as he should," Quistis replied, rather smugly emptying her cup in a final gulp and tossing it to the trashcan. It made it inside, but just barely.

"Who the hell gave him clearance to--"

"Doctor's orders," Xu interrupted, picking an orange sheet of paper from the top of her cluttered desk and waving it at him. Squall strode over and snatched it from her hand, his shoulders falling as he skimmed over it. Just as described, Kadowaki had given Seifer the day off due to 'exhaustion.' "You can go back to the infirmary and overturn it if you like, but..."

Squall dropped it back onto the desk. "I know that." He turned on his heels and headed quickly for his initial destination, opened the door and flicked on the t, at, and gasped.

Not a white sheet of anything-- no contracts, no letters, no suspension or vacation slips, and more amazingly, no enrollment application forms-- lay anywhere atop the giant slab of oak that was his desk except for in their respective 'out' boxes that lined to top of it. He spun again to find Quistis and Xu smiling broadly at him, no doubt very amused by the look of astonishment on his face.

"Thank Nida and Xu. I won't take credit for any of it."

"Nida deserves most of it really," Xu chirped, "He took care of a lot of the special stuff that I was afraid to touch. You don't mind, do you? He'll go through it with you--"

"--Tomorrow." Quistis finished sternly, eyeing him with a deadly glare. "You, get the heck out of here now, and get some rest too. Read one of your new books. Zell and Seifer both have the day off. It would be unfair of you not to join them."

Squall didn't bother asking why Zell didn't have to work, as he wouldn't have overturned that order either, no matter what the reason. He had enough other things to do-- he wouldn't be resting, but they didn't have to know that. He nodded at Xu and thanked her before rushing out the door, and nearly ran right into his father in the middle of the maroon-carpeted hallway.

Laguna took a step back just before they collided, looking much more nervous than usual, unable to even look Squall in the eye. He rocked on his feet, hands in his pockets. "Hey, I was, ah, looking for you... Sorry I didn't show last night, I got this--" he raised a hand and coughed into it, "-- this thing, I dunno what it is, I think Kiros gave it to me. I wante com come, I really did, I just..." He finally looked at Squall to find his eyes narrowed, arms crossed.

"What did Seifer say to you?"

Eyes widening with surprise and a bit of shame for being caught in his lie, Laguna took another step backwards. "Um, nothing... nothing important. You know, the weather, and stuff. Like that. Bad storm they had there."

Squall shook his head and walked to a corner of the hallway, out of earshot of the office, then waved Laguna over. "Thank you for the picture," he said quietly, forcing out the words he owed. "It... means a lot."

Laguna brightened significantly at that, grinning proudly as he stretched an arm behind his head. "You like it?" He smiled more broadly at Squall's nod. "I have more, a whole bunch more, if you want any. We could go through them--"

"I only need one."

"Oh," Laguna's shine only faded for a moment, "Alright then." He shrugged. "You really do like it? You're not just being nice?" Squall raised a slightly humorous eyebrow at him. "Oh, right. You don't... Anywaywas was just kinda afraid that, um, well, that I bother you. That you might not want me around..." He returned to his previous nervous state, absently jingling the half-gil pieces in one of his pockets. He stood on a slant with one knee bent, probably ignoring a cramp.

"Why do you think that, all of a sudden?" Squall's pale gaze narrowed again, intent on nabbing his truthful prize.

"Okay, fine." Laguna visibly slumped and pulled his hands out in front of him so he could twist wed wedding band around and around his finger. "Seifer basically said that... I'm crowding out your other duties, and you're really busy, so I should stay away. Plus, I mean, you never call me... You avoid me whenever I'm here..."

"I was afraid of that." Squall said quietly, working hard to hide his anger. "He doesn't have the right to butt in. I'm sorry. It was a long trip, and... he was probably--" What the heck was he doing? Making excuses for Seifer? "Never mind."

Laguna's ring began spinning quite quickly. "It's true, then?"

Squall sighed and fell back against the wall. "I'm positive that the way *he* said it wasn't true..." Laguna flinched a little, eyelids lowering, and Squall found himself doing the same right along with him. "No, listen. I do have a lot of work, that part's true. You hound me too much, that's true too. But I don't... I don't want you to disappear."

"Aww!" Laguna's face shot up, bright again, making Squall wonder if he was slightly bipolar. "Can I hug you?" he asked, extending his arms.

"No."

"Aah, I didn't think so." Laguna winked at him, "How about I wait for *you* to call *me* next time, then? If you'll promise to do it within the next six months."

Squall nodded, frowning thoughtfully. "That'll work."

"Promise?"

"Alright, I promise. Wait--" Squall called out, just as Laguna was turning around. "I need a favour."

Laguna grinned knowingly. "Ragnarok?"

"... Yeah. Can you make an extra flight tomorrow?"

"Geez, you know, you really need to stop *asking* me like that. You found the thing, after all."

"It was yours to begin with..."

"Finders keepers. I still see it as a gift."

"Okay, fine, whatever. I need to pick up Rinoa outside Timber tomorrow morning at ten. Can you--"

"Rinoa? Are you serious? I haven't seen that girl in ages... You're not thinking of dating her again, are you?"

"It's *business,*" Squall replied, tight-lipped.

"Ah, good. Because, to tell you the truth..." Laguna leaned forward, still with his trademark dopey all-knowing grin plastered on his face, "I don't think she was any good for you."

Squall cocked his chin back, surprised that Laguna even had an opinion on the matter. He refrained from commenting on it, as he didn't want to stray the topic of their conversation any further. "Seifer might be coming."

Surprisingly, Laguna simply shrugged. "That's fine. I'll trust anything you say over what he says in a hoofbeat, especially now that I know the truth, so what he says won't bother me. I shouldn't have trusted him further than I could hoe him to begin with. It was all my mistake."

Squall rolled his eyes. *Dork.* "That's it, then."

"Alright. I'll see you tomorrow morning-- we'll leave at about seven, that should give us enough time-- if not later today. Think I'll head down to to the art room, help Selphie teach the kids to paint." Laguna headed for the elevator, still rambling as he walked, "Class starts soon, right? She really should introduce pinhole cameras, I had a great time with mine when I was a kid..."

Squall thumped his head back into the wall when he heard the elevator door closing. Being in Laguna's presence was purely exhausting. When the heck did the man actually spend time governing his country? Something told him Kiros and Ward had a larger hand in that than they were credited for. He would have said something if it wasn't for the fact that paying parents adored the idea of their children spending time with him. No, it would be good to say something. If word got out too far that he was spending more than a week out of every month at a school instead of doing his job, Esthar's population would start to get annoyed. On second thought, they would probably continue to worship him no matter what, so it didn't really matter.

He pushed up from the wall. Seifer's apartment, next-- another presence that exhausted him. Maybe he *would* take Quistis' advice when he was done there. The thought of curling up with a book and some kind of hot drink was quite an appealing one, even if he would be spoiling himself more than was necessary.

"Oh, Squall, before you go!" came Quistis' voice from the office doorway, "Have you gotten a hold of Rinoa?"

"We're picking her up tomorrow."

A wave of relief washed Quistis into the doorframe. "Thank goodness. Are you alright?"

"Of course I am." Why wouldn't he be?

"Is she?"

"Yeah," Squall called back as he followed Laguna's steps back to the elevator. "Zone and Watts died a few months ago, but she's fine." He heard a shocked gasp, but didn't offer comfort or reassurance as the doors closed between them. There wasn't any to give.

The halls were crowded now as students rushed to class from lunch period, moving every which way in a sort of chaos. Squall didn't even get nudged once on the way back to the dorms, however-- the student body had developed a habit of parting around him, like he was surrounded on all sides by a two-foot shield. They preferred squeezing and shoving against the barriers at the sides to coming near him for some reason. He didn't like standing out so much, but it was nice to have space to move freely.

He didn't realize until he was before the dorm elevators that he had no idea which one led to Seifer's apartment. Looked like he wouldn't see him today, but all was well. As much as phone calls bothered him, he was relieved-- now he could avoid every physical advance Seifer would be likely to throw at him, while hiding his own reactions to the verbal. He continued up to his apartment, kicked off his boots once inside, and felt the bookshelf tug eagerly at him as he passed it on his way to the phone. A quick call to the automated directory and he was all set, stretched out on his back with his head on an armrest as Seifer's line rang. He wondered if there were any extra blankets hidden away in the bedroom closet; he hadn't noticed before how cool it was in there.

"What the fuck d'you want?" Seifer's sleep-sed ved voice growled into his ear after the fifth ring.

"I have to talk to you."

There was a long pause before Seifer replied, sounding more awake and much less angry. "So, you've finally come to your senses?"

Squall had expected a smartass remark like that, so it didn't faze him. "I called Rinoa for help in Tim--"

"Chickie already told me about that." Seifer groaned; it sounded like he was-- stretching. Yes, stretching, that was all. "You better have something important to say. I'm supposed to be sleeping. My health depends on it, you know."

"You talked to Zell?"

Seifer yawned loudly, then chuckled. "Yeah... you could say I paid him a visit." The words dripped with vague innuendo, and Squall had no doubt what they meant. What a relief.

"We're going to get Rinoa tomorrow."

"And that matters to me because..."

"She wants you to come too."

Seifer grunted, or scoffed maybe. "Does she? Did the little darling happen to tell you why?"

"No. She just said she had something to clear up with you."

"Does she not understand the fucking fact that I don't *remember* anything?"

"I don't know, she told me a long time ago that she didn't believe you. You might end up working with her, depending on how it goes..." Squall sat up and haunched his shoulders, shivering. "... So it would be best for you to come with us. Please."

"Aw, he said 'please.'... All this time, and she's still got you pussywhipped. Marvelous."

Squall closed his eyes, breathed to keep indignance from showing his his voice. "I'm not 'whipped,' Seifer--"

"Of course not, you're just trying get me to do whatever she says, using means including but not limited to stooping lower than you ever do by saying 'please' to your archrival. When *not* in the throes of passion. That's whipped."

"Actually, I'm a lot more worried about the two of you fighting in the middle of a mission and getting yourselves killed-- or worse, fighting in front of the students. Is that what you want, to run into her in the middle of the hallway one day so she can scream her head off at you in front of everyone? It would be a great way to lose your role of Feared Punisher, publicly cowering when faced with a woman a third your size."

"Psh, cowering, right. She can be quite a cat-in-the-bath, that's true-- shit, I heard her screaming at you through the wall enough times-- but I'd be much more likely to smack her one than 'cower.' That was an impressive little speech you just gave, though."

"Just make peace with her."

"Alright, fine. The longest group of sentences you've ever graced my ears with deserves a reward. I'll join you."

"Good. Be in front of the Ragnarok at seven tomorrow morning. And if you start any more problems with Laguna, your salary will be *permanently* lowered."

"Tsk. Some thanks I get for doing you a favour."

"It wasn't a favour-- he told me exactly what you said. Mind your own fucking business from now on."

"If it involves you, it becomes my business."

Squall shivered again. Damn, but it was cold. Then why did he suddenly feel a little warm? "That's sick."

"Well, what do you expect? I *am* sick. Kadowaki said so."

"You have the day off for exhaustion, not illness."

"Bah, same thing... Oh, by the by, how are my gloves fitting you?"

"They're fine. I'm hanging up now."

"See you soon." Seifer chuckled again, and Squall hung up on the sound, wondering what he found so funny. This time he put the phone back on the recharger, then went to the closet and found, as he had hoped, a blue crocheted throw blanket tucked away on the shelf that ran across the top. By the time he began gracing his fingers along the second row of shelved books-- mostly novels whose titles he didn't recognize-- he was freezing. Shiva had left him in slight withdrawals after prolonged junctioning before. He would just have to wait it out; his body would be back to normal by tomorrow, he was sure. He grabbed a black paperback without reading the binding and sat down with his knees drawn up beside him, pulling the blanket up over his shoulders and tucking it tighly around himself as not to let in any air.

His choice turned out to be pretty generic, a vampire story that could have been written by a fourteen-year-old. The more Squall read, the more boring it became. The words kept trying to blur on the page. It didn't take long for him to give up the fight.

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*gulp*

I think Tricia is merely one among many who now want to beat my ass into the ground for this. I had some things to clear up! Next chapter holds promise. I promise. The muses promise.
.... please don't kill me ....