Absolution I: Forsaken
folder
Final Fantasy VIII › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
7
Views:
870
Reviews:
19
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Final Fantasy VIII › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
7
Views:
870
Reviews:
19
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter Four
Disclaimer: Mattie’s mine, the plot is mine, but Seifer and Squall (and the FF7 char I stuck somewhere in this chapter, try to find him) belong to Square Enix and I don’t get anything from this other than the warm, squishy feeling that comes from reading reviews.
WARNINGS: Just mild violence and angst, but wait till you get to the next chapter. *Evil grin*
I walk this empty street
On the boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone
~ Green Day, Boulevard of Broken Dreams
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Suicidal bastard.”
“Cunt.”
“Murderer.”
“Drug dealer.”
“Deranged criminal.”
“Evil bitch.”
“Fag.”
“That’s enough!” Sometimes, it’s almost fun exchanging insults with Mattie, but that was one hell of a low blow. I grab her bony shoulders, slam her against the closest wall, and glare down into her eyes. She’s scared again. Ever since I first pointed a weapon at her, she’s realized that I mean business when I get pissed.
“Can’t handle the truth or something, Almasy?” she begins, trying to hide the fear in her voice by taunting me more. “And don’t you think of lying to me either because I hear whose name you say in your sleep.”
I talk about Squall in my sleep?
I backhand her and chuckle when she spits blood from a split lip on the ground. Bitch needs to learn not to keep pissing me off or she’s gonna get herself killed one of these days. “Ain’t your business one way or another. All you need to care about is keeping me in a decent mood so I don’t think about running Hyperion through your stomach.”
She looks even more terrified then and I snicker. It’s kinda reassuring to know that there are some things I still do well – like intimidate people. Then again, she is around a foot shorter than I am and has a lot less muscle mass. Doubt she could seriously hurt anyone
Before I realize what’s happening, I feel a foot driving into my groin and my grip on her shoulders stops instantly as I double over in pain. Hyne, this is a kind of pain even masochists would hate, making me gasp while her harsh laughter, followed by the sound of someone running off, rings in my ears. That’s it, the bitch is going to have to suffer for that one.
My right hand reaches back for where I keep Hyperion, but meets only air. Snarling, I take off running after her. She ain’t got no right to insult me like that, kick me in the balls, and steal my weapon.
Mattie may have the advantage of knowing these alleys better than I do, but I’m good at following someone that I need to get my hands on. Glimpses of her blue hair keep me alert as to where she’s going, but eventually I lose track of where she went and stop in the middle of some back road I’ve never seen before to catch my breath. After a moment’s pause, I turn a random corner and smirk as I see her talking to some guy about my height, but a lot skinnier, and with the reddest hair I’ve ever seen.
He turns in my direction, making me duck back behind the corner, and I peek out at them. The guy’s got scars on both of his cheekbones…those had to be pretty painful to get. I can hear them talking and laughing, thinking about turning my gunblade in to the authorities as proof that I’m here in the city. If they do that, I’m dead meat.
Once Red walks off, I wait until Mattie’s back is turned before running and nearly tackling her as I grab Hyperion from her small hand and shove her to the ground. She yelps in pain, which only makes the smirk on my face grow while I place the tip in the center of her back.
“Don’t you ever think of taking this away from me again,” I growl and press down just a little, enough to draw blood and scare her out of trying that stunt again. She can only nod as I inwardly laugh. Turns out she’s all talk; when things are really important, she’s just a little wimp.
After a moment passes, I pull my blade back and she touches the spot as she rolls over and stands up. Her eyes widen when she sees the blood, then she glares at me again, but says nothing, just stands up and walks. I follow her, assuming we’re heading back to the street we stay in most of the time. She wanders around during the day, but I just sit and think, my self-hatred growing by the day.
None of this would be happening if you’d just turned yourself in as soon as you knew you were wanted.
But then I would have been tried and executed in front of the whole world. That’s not my style. My death will be on my terms.
Silently, I stay behind her until we reach the familiar piles of boxes and abandoned cars I’ve gotten used to seeing. Heading to my usual spot, I just lie there and sigh a few times, letting the same things roll around and around in my head.
Failure. Murderer. Criminal. Suicidal bastard. The sad truth is – I am everything she accuses me of being, but I can’t let her know she’s right. Hyne, now I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of unwanted cruel words and actions. Did everyone I messed with at Garden hate it this much? Probably.
I touch my throat and chest then, wishing I had the balls to just do it now, while she’s stoned out of her mind and can’t make this life of mine last longer. I’m here, forgotten and forsaken, because of my own mistakes and it’s my own hand that will get me out of this one day.
You keep saying that, but you never have the guts to actually go through with it when you’re alone, like right now for example.
Motherfucking piece of shit voice in my head! I wish it would just fucking shut up and leave me the hell alone so that I can keep existing with less annoyance. I don’t care if it is my “conscience” or the voice of reason or whatever people choose to call it, it’s not telling me what to do even though sometimes, it’s right.
I roll around as the sky gets darker and the air gets colder, ignoring the noises around me because it’s none of my damned business who’s doing who or what kind of shit Mattie’s getting herself involved with. If she dies one night, I’ll just laugh and be glad to be free of her interference.
She helps you forget occasionally, though.
Yeah, by giving me drugs. I ain’t gonna become some messed up user like she is. Sure, I smoke more than I used to, but she’s probably been giving me bad dope just because I get on her nerves. Fuck it, I’m just going to try and get some sleep, if I can stop enjoying the image of her lying flat on her face and bleeding out of my head. Hopefully, I’ll have good dreams….
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Did you spot Reno?
WARNINGS: Just mild violence and angst, but wait till you get to the next chapter. *Evil grin*
I walk this empty street
On the boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone
~ Green Day, Boulevard of Broken Dreams
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Suicidal bastard.”
“Cunt.”
“Murderer.”
“Drug dealer.”
“Deranged criminal.”
“Evil bitch.”
“Fag.”
“That’s enough!” Sometimes, it’s almost fun exchanging insults with Mattie, but that was one hell of a low blow. I grab her bony shoulders, slam her against the closest wall, and glare down into her eyes. She’s scared again. Ever since I first pointed a weapon at her, she’s realized that I mean business when I get pissed.
“Can’t handle the truth or something, Almasy?” she begins, trying to hide the fear in her voice by taunting me more. “And don’t you think of lying to me either because I hear whose name you say in your sleep.”
I talk about Squall in my sleep?
I backhand her and chuckle when she spits blood from a split lip on the ground. Bitch needs to learn not to keep pissing me off or she’s gonna get herself killed one of these days. “Ain’t your business one way or another. All you need to care about is keeping me in a decent mood so I don’t think about running Hyperion through your stomach.”
She looks even more terrified then and I snicker. It’s kinda reassuring to know that there are some things I still do well – like intimidate people. Then again, she is around a foot shorter than I am and has a lot less muscle mass. Doubt she could seriously hurt anyone
Before I realize what’s happening, I feel a foot driving into my groin and my grip on her shoulders stops instantly as I double over in pain. Hyne, this is a kind of pain even masochists would hate, making me gasp while her harsh laughter, followed by the sound of someone running off, rings in my ears. That’s it, the bitch is going to have to suffer for that one.
My right hand reaches back for where I keep Hyperion, but meets only air. Snarling, I take off running after her. She ain’t got no right to insult me like that, kick me in the balls, and steal my weapon.
Mattie may have the advantage of knowing these alleys better than I do, but I’m good at following someone that I need to get my hands on. Glimpses of her blue hair keep me alert as to where she’s going, but eventually I lose track of where she went and stop in the middle of some back road I’ve never seen before to catch my breath. After a moment’s pause, I turn a random corner and smirk as I see her talking to some guy about my height, but a lot skinnier, and with the reddest hair I’ve ever seen.
He turns in my direction, making me duck back behind the corner, and I peek out at them. The guy’s got scars on both of his cheekbones…those had to be pretty painful to get. I can hear them talking and laughing, thinking about turning my gunblade in to the authorities as proof that I’m here in the city. If they do that, I’m dead meat.
Once Red walks off, I wait until Mattie’s back is turned before running and nearly tackling her as I grab Hyperion from her small hand and shove her to the ground. She yelps in pain, which only makes the smirk on my face grow while I place the tip in the center of her back.
“Don’t you ever think of taking this away from me again,” I growl and press down just a little, enough to draw blood and scare her out of trying that stunt again. She can only nod as I inwardly laugh. Turns out she’s all talk; when things are really important, she’s just a little wimp.
After a moment passes, I pull my blade back and she touches the spot as she rolls over and stands up. Her eyes widen when she sees the blood, then she glares at me again, but says nothing, just stands up and walks. I follow her, assuming we’re heading back to the street we stay in most of the time. She wanders around during the day, but I just sit and think, my self-hatred growing by the day.
None of this would be happening if you’d just turned yourself in as soon as you knew you were wanted.
But then I would have been tried and executed in front of the whole world. That’s not my style. My death will be on my terms.
Silently, I stay behind her until we reach the familiar piles of boxes and abandoned cars I’ve gotten used to seeing. Heading to my usual spot, I just lie there and sigh a few times, letting the same things roll around and around in my head.
Failure. Murderer. Criminal. Suicidal bastard. The sad truth is – I am everything she accuses me of being, but I can’t let her know she’s right. Hyne, now I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of unwanted cruel words and actions. Did everyone I messed with at Garden hate it this much? Probably.
I touch my throat and chest then, wishing I had the balls to just do it now, while she’s stoned out of her mind and can’t make this life of mine last longer. I’m here, forgotten and forsaken, because of my own mistakes and it’s my own hand that will get me out of this one day.
You keep saying that, but you never have the guts to actually go through with it when you’re alone, like right now for example.
Motherfucking piece of shit voice in my head! I wish it would just fucking shut up and leave me the hell alone so that I can keep existing with less annoyance. I don’t care if it is my “conscience” or the voice of reason or whatever people choose to call it, it’s not telling me what to do even though sometimes, it’s right.
I roll around as the sky gets darker and the air gets colder, ignoring the noises around me because it’s none of my damned business who’s doing who or what kind of shit Mattie’s getting herself involved with. If she dies one night, I’ll just laugh and be glad to be free of her interference.
She helps you forget occasionally, though.
Yeah, by giving me drugs. I ain’t gonna become some messed up user like she is. Sure, I smoke more than I used to, but she’s probably been giving me bad dope just because I get on her nerves. Fuck it, I’m just going to try and get some sleep, if I can stop enjoying the image of her lying flat on her face and bleeding out of my head. Hopefully, I’ll have good dreams….
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Did you spot Reno?