Hopes Despair

Chapter 5

I sat in Tseng’s car playing with the door handle, knowing that Tseng was getting fucking pissed off at me ‘good’ I thought ‘that’ll teach him for being a prick’. I could feel his ice cold glare burning into the back off my head as I continued to play with the handle like a child. “Where are we going Tseng?” attempting to break the frost storm. “Does it matter?” did I sense annoyance somewhere in there. “Stop playing with the handle Reno” his voice hard with the authority that made me want to wet myself with fear.
“Tell me where you’re taking me. This is Renonapping” trying to lighten the situation. Tseng obviously didn’t, quite get the joke as he pulled the car over. Leapt out the drivers seat like a agile cat, practically diving over the bonnet to get to the passenger side and yanked me from the car. He slammed my back hard against the car door “Reno shut the fuck up for once in you life. This isn’t a game I’m playing here. I’m trying to help you.” I could see Tseng was using all his power to stop himself from hitting me.
“What have I done Tseng? Ever since I woke up you have been acting as if I am the worst kind of scum. What the fuck did I do to deserve this shit?”
For a moment, Tseng eyes softened “Nothing. That’s the problem.” He watched me as if eyeing up prey. Then all of a sudden, his soft lips were pressing softly against mine. I went limp with shock as the kiss continued. He held me with authority in his arm and control. My senses could but help but become overwhelmed by his presence, he smelt like a warm spring day and felt like it too against my cool skin. Eventually Tseng broke away from the embrace. I looked at him like a dumb founded fool. “Now get in the car Reno” he ordered and walked back round to the drivers side I was still frozen from shock. Eventually I managed to get back into the car. “What the…” I mumbled as Tseng started the car “Lost for words?” I nodded “Good. Now you can stop acting like an annoying child” Tseng sternly replied.

For the rest of the trip I sat in silence lost in my thoughts “Did I give you any sign Tseng” a smirk formed on my face. Tseng shot a glare at me from the corner of his eyes. “Reno” he warned.
“Where are we going then?” I asked trying to get him to stop glaring as if he would strangle me in my sleep.
“I’m taking you to a safe house”
“Why?” the answer completely obvious to me
“If you’ have forgotten there are people trying to do you harm” he replied stoically.
“So…Why would there be a safe house in this area?” I asked confused
“What do you mean?”
“Well…We’re in the rich area. I didn’t think Shinra would splurge on an expensive safe house. Especially not for me.”
“They didn’t. I did” a slight smile forming “Rufus did approve of me not giving him the full details of where I was taking you. If he had his way you would be in the slums”
I was speechless as what Tseng had just told me began to sink in. “Then where are we going?” I finally asked as Tseng pulled up to a cast iron gate. Not acknowledging my question he leaned out the window and entered some number into a keypad. A moment late the gates opened revealing a long tree lined driveway. Tseng moved the car slowly down the driveway, making sure that the gate closed securely behind us, once he was satisfied he sped up. We drove 150 meters down the driveway when a large white building was revealed behind the tree line. “Shit. How much is this costing you?” I asked as my jaw fell open from…shock at the sheer sight of the building. In all my life of being a Turk I had never been in this part of Midgar, let alone inside these gates, so I never really knew what to expect. So seeing a pristinely clean white building surrounded by lush green trees and with a private driveway kinda blew my mind away.
“Not enough?” his face was completely still. “I live here Reno” he didn’t even look at me, as he drove up to another keypad. “No-one will think of looking for you here” he continued leaning out the window. The security gate opened giving us access to the parking garage. Tseng drove slowly taking care not to scrap against the rising gate. We parked in a reserved place close to the elevator ‘Just like Tseng to have his own spot near the elevator’ I thought. We got out with Tseng leading me over to the elevator doors “Reno. This is my home so I would appreciate it if you didn’t destroy anything” Absolute seriousness in his eyes “I mean it Reno” his corporate voice taking hold. The elevator door opened in time for me to duck in and press the first button my hand landed on. Tseng was left glaring at me as the doors began to close in front of him. The doors were almost closed when they were stopped from closing by a polished foot, then a hand pulled the doors open. Tseng stood before me annoyance writhe in his face “Reno”. The stupid grin faded from my face as I realised Tseng as usual wasn’t amused by my childish antics. “Sorry” my head hung low as I step aside to let Tseng enter the elevator.

Tseng lived on the 6th floor which was good since, I had pushed the button to that floor (purely by coincidence). As we exited from the elevator Tseng grabbed my arm and spun me around “Re…” he looked searchingly into my eyes “My apartment is the third door down” releasing my arm he strode past and walked down the hallway towards his apartment, confusion filling my mind. I stood between the elevator door, for a moment as my brain tried to sort out what the fuck was going on.

As I walked up to the door I noticed Tseng had left the door slightly ajarred, there was an eerie silence about the place. I pushed the door open slowly, kind of expecting someone to jump out and…well I don’t know what I thought. Once I was satisfied I would be maimed I walked in. The apartment was spotless ‘how can one person be so sterile’, there was the smell of incense burning and the walls had lush tapestries. I stood just inside the door looking at my surroundings when Tseng poked his head around the corner of the wall “Are you going to stand there like a tourist Reno” then his head disappeared. I stopped looking at the tapestries and made my way down the hallway towards the smell of something delicious cooking. “Tseng you didn’t have too…” my voice trailed off as I entered the kitchen and noticed a female figure holding Tseng. “Oh…I didn’t realise” I stammered. Tseng turned round to look at me “Oh Reno I’m sorry…I forgot to tell you”
“Elena” I finished.
Elena turned spun around, I could see a stupid smile on her face. ‘Damn her, why did she have to be here’. “Reno you ok” Tseng asked as he walked up and placed a hand on my shoulder. I looked up him “Err yeah. Just surprised to see Elena here” I gave a weak smile.
Elena walked over catching me off guard wrapping her arms around me, giving me a sweet as honey hug. I let out a startled gasp as I realised what had…no what was happening. Elena was hugging me. The person who constantly tortured every chance I got. Tseng was muffling a laugh in the back of his throat. “Ok kitten you can let go of me now!” I ordered as I attempted to wriggle free of her grip. Tseng obviously was enjoying watching me squirm as he did nothing to help, but rather encouraged her even more. Once I had finally freed myself of Elena’s grip I darted behind Tseng, using his body to shield me from any further attacks. At the mere touch of having me brushing against him, Tseng tensed up like a statue. I quickly stepped back as he turned around to glare at me. “Oh so it’s ok if she grabs me. But I can’t hide to get away?”
“No” a look of confusion formed on my face “What do you mean no?” I retorted
“Reno…I meant you had every right to hide” I could see a look of confusion in his eyes. “I’m going to check the perimeter” Elena interrupted. Tseng turned back to acknowledge her request “Good. Report anything suspicious” then she turned around to leave, not before sticking her tongue out at me. Once she was gone out of the apartment, Tseng turned to me “Reno. Can you please try not to annoy her whilst you’re here?”
“I ain’t the one who grabbed her” I replied not as I looked over the food cooking on the stove. “Why was she hugging you?” I continued “I know why she hugged be.”
“No reason” he walked up to stand next to me “Reno” he stood awkwardly beside me “Why did you kiss me back at…?” his voice nervous. ‘Tseng was actually nervous’ I considered his question for a moment “Cause it seemed like a good idea at the time” cockiness present.
“No. What made you want to kiss me?” He ask questioningly
I stood staring at him with a blank look, mulling over the question ‘Why had I kissed him? Was it because I was trying to get out of trouble? Or was there something else?’ I looked Tseng in the eyes searching for what he wanted to hear “I did…because I wanted to know how…” my voice faltered “Why? Do you want to do it again?” a sly smile came across my face as I slowly leaned in to kiss Tseng on the cheek. He didn’t flinch a muscle as he watched me seriously, as my lips pressed gently against his warm cheek he let out a small sigh. I hovered close to him for a moment, let what I had just done sink into both our heads ‘I had just kissed my boss. Again’ His scent was intoxicating I exhaled as I went to kiss him again this time on the lips. As our lips were about to make contact Tseng’s hand came to my chest, he place a small amount of pressure to move me back “I can’t Reno. I’m with Elena” he shifted his weight to compensate for my weight against his arms. “Screw her. She’s not here!” I protested as I went into kiss him again. This time he applied more pressure to push me back “Reno I can’t” his eyes told another story. I could see mixed emotions behind the cold front he was trying to hold. “Tseng…Then why do you keep…?” We were interrupted by the sound of the apartment door closing, I hovered a moment longer before stepping back. As Elena walked into the kitchen I shot a contemptuous look her way as she walked up to us “Elena” I acknowledged as I walked away. I could hear Tseng shift his weight as Elena went to give him a hug “Tseng…” she was cut off by Tseng “Did you see anything?” his voice flat. Elena stepped back as Tseng moved towards the kitchen table ‘out of the corner’ “Nothing suspicious sir” Tseng considered this for a moment “Good” then he turned back to me “Reno you look tired. I’ll show you to your room” he walked past me composed, not giving away that we had just been inches away from each other. I looked over to Elena “Your dinner is burning. You may want to keep an eye on it” Elena shot me death stare as I turned to followed Tseng down the hall towards my room.
When I finally caught up to Tseng, he was waiting for me outside my bedroom door. “Reno. What did I say about stirring…” irritation showing in his voice. “She deserved it that time”
“Reno I saw the look you gave her when she came into the kitchen”
“Will you just show me my room?”
Tseng finally gave up trying to discipline me and opened the bedroom door. The room was modest and Sterile there wasn’t a single item out of place. The bed moderate size and made better then any hotel room ‘probably a whole lot more hygienic too’ with a small bedside table and simple lamp. I walked over to the window to look at the view. Behind me I could hear Elena talking to Tseng, their voice low so I could not make out what was being said ‘not that I needed to. Judging by her tone she was not happy’ a small smile crossed my face ‘Again I had pissed her off’ a moment later I heard the front door opening then closed with a thud. I let out a soft laugh “Reno” Tseng’s voice full of anger “Will you grow up. This isn’t a game”
“I’ll grow up when you stop lying to yourself!” I continued looking out the window, I noticed Elena walking off down the driveway. “Stop playing games with me Tseng”
Before I knew it, Tseng had me pinned up against the window “Reno. Watch your mouth. I am still your superior” I stared at him in shock as I realise he was lifting me off the ground “Your in my house. And you will show me respect!” The look Tseng had in his eyes frightened me, there was a mix of anger and fear. ‘What the hell did he have to fear’ “Tseng your scaring me” I whimpered. The sound of my voice seemed to snap Tseng out of his rage. The looks of anger in his eyes were replaced with disbelief. ‘Reno…I’m sorry” he lowered me down to my feet slowly. “I was…You were…” he looked at me with guilt as I rubbed my shoulders “Tseng what is wrong? Why are you acting so fucking distant to me? What…” before I had time to finish my sentence Tseng’s had me pinned up against the wall again, this time not in anger but rather out of pure necessity as he embraced me in a deep lustful kiss. Tseng moved his body hard up against mine as his hand came to rest on my cheek, I could taste him in my mouth as his tongue massaged mine. ‘Shit. I was kissing Tseng again’ I gave into my desire for a physical connection, wrapped my arms around his neck, and returned his kiss with equal urgency. The embrace seemed to last an eternity. After an extended time Tseng pushed as my chest gently finally breaking off the kiss, he gasped for air. He looked at me with both relief and guilt. “I’m sorry…I …” I interrupted him with a failed attempt for another kiss, but Tseng responded by pressing harder against my chest. “I can’t Reno. I’m with Elena”
I felt hurt by those words ‘Why had he kissed me for then’ the hurt must have shown as Tseng softly stroked my hair “Then why did you kiss me?”
“I wanted to know”
“Know what?”
“Reno when you were in the hospital, Elena used to sit by your bed. Why I don’t know”
“Cause I’m such a ladies man” I broke in with a smirk
“Well you began talking in your sleep”
“So” I interrupted
“Reno. It’s what you were talking about” for some reason I wasn’t liking where this might be heading
“And what was that” I asked hesitantly “I wasn’t talking about how I had stolen all the coffee from your office as a practical joke. Thus making you agitated”
“No. And if you had done that you would be on a charge.”
“Then I didn’t do it”
“Well you started talking about how you wanted…” his voice hesitated, as he looked over my shoulder out the window “When Elena heard you talking about us together, she became upset. Ever since then we have been…”
“Fighting” I offered
“Yes”
“Then why did she hug me?”
“Not sure really, but she did not like it when you hid behind me”
I looked into Tseng’s eyes looking for an answer to a question I had never asked “Does she have a reason to not trust you around me?” bringing attention to the fact we were inches away from each other “I’m you seem quite comfortable here” I smirked.
I moved closer against him to kiss again but halfway I we were interrupted by the sound of the front opening and closing. Tseng froze. We listened for a moment to the footsteps moving down the hall towards us. Tseng pushed me away as he darted to the bedroom door, I did the only thing I could think of and dived under the bed. I pulled the blanket lower down the side to hide me. I heard Elena stop at the doorway as Tseng greeted her, I could see her feet only but could hear in her voice that she had been crying. Tseng feet moved closer to her and they hugged ‘Man how he can be so calm. Only moments ago, we had been kissing. Now here he was hugging Elena.’ “How could you bring him here Tseng, especially after what we’ve been through because of him?” I could hear Tseng humming soothingly “I’m sorry Elena. I will find someplace else for him to stay”
“I don’t him here Tseng. You haven’t seen the way he’s been looking at you”
“What do you mean?” Tseng asked concerned
“When we I came back into the kitchen, he gave me this look of contempt. Like I had interrupted or interfered in some plan” her voice cracked
“I think your looking for things Elena. I didn’t see anything suspicious going on” he replied stoically
“Don’t you dare take his side” hurt and anger appearing “Tseng he wants you. I can see it in the way he’s acting around you”
“Elena please, let’s not let Reno spoil our time together” a hint of warmth “You know I care about you” I heard Tseng give Elena a kiss. ‘bastard’ I wanted to crawl out and tell Elena what Tseng and I had been doing, more to hurt her then out of some miss guided notion of love.
“I care about you as well Tseng” she stepped back in to Tseng’s arms “Let me stay the night”
There was a moment’s hesitation as Tseng considered the request ‘like he does at work’
“Elena…You better get a change of clothes then” I heard he kiss Tseng again as she spun around and left the room. I lay still under the bed, watching Tseng, he hadn’t moved. I heard the apartment door open and close. “Reno I had no choice” guilt in his voice.
Then he walked over to the window, I slid out from under the bed and stood on the opposite side “Tseng” I had no clue how to approach the situation “I’ll stay away. I don’t want to interfere”
Tseng shifted slightly “Reno you have no idea what your talking has done. Why do you think no one ever visited you in hospital. Elena did not want others to hear what you were saying. It was to much for her.” His voice softened “You have no idea what you have no idea what you have put me through”
I hesitantly walked up behind him, cautious that he might take my movements the wrong way. “Tseng I was out of it on mako. You can’t really hold me accountable for something I had no control over”
Tseng turned around to face me “I can if what you said is true” then he moved closer to look me in the eyes “Reno I think I might have feelings for you”. It was at that exact moment I realised that I had wanted to hear him say those words. I swallowed hard as I leaned in to kiss Tseng, preparing for him to push me away. I the kiss was soft and tender, one of relief and desire. Tseng moved one hand up my back pulling me up against his chest the other he ran through my hair. I responded by move my hands up to his back into a hug. “What about Elena” I asked between breaths “Won’t she be surprised when she comes back and sees us kissing”
“For the moment you are all that matters” Tseng whispered into my ear. The sound of his voice gave me goose bumps I had never heard him use such a soft tone towards me. I kissed him in acknowledgement to our secret.