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Chapter Seven: By The Book

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"Hey kid! How you doin' this morning?" Elici stepped into one of the numerous Administration offices held in the large building with a seabag slung over his shoulder. He set the large pack down on the ground outside in the hallway before he entered fully, and then stopped short, repressing a laugh as he watched a lady from the office scolding Cloud, who seemed to have stapled his leather glove to a stack of reports that were meant to be filed ten minutes prior.

"Cloud," she cooed firmly at him, sweet yet authoritative. Like a mother would. "This might be easier if you removed your gloves you silly boy."

He was fighting back the blood in his cheeks as she nursed the stapler off of his article of clothing. "S-sorry," he mumbled.

"It's okay," she reassured. "The cost of the staples will just come out of your paycheck." Then she laughed at him when he held a face that seemed to actually believe her. "You're so helpless." She sighed once she had successfully removed the remaining staples from his glove. "Did you nick your hand?"

"No," he said sheepishly, scooping up the papers in his hands before turning towards the door. "Elici!" He smiled weakly under a pair of tired eyes. "Heading out?"

Elici frowned at the weary looking boy, but said nothing to remind him of his outward appearance. Rumors had begun to spread through the building like wildfire, and soon everyone had heard of Cloud's embarrassing and traumatic experience from several nights before. Most people seemed to be on the blond's side and he had already gotten numerous people, mostly women, clamoring to him whom he didn't even know, asking him if he needed anything, or any help. He was uncomfortable in his skin enough already, and the attention he was accumulating from sympathetic women around the offices wasn't helping his already shy demeanor any.

"Mind if I steal him for a few, Miss?" he asked the lady and she nodded, dismissing the young Cloud with a wave of her hand.

"He's slowing me down anyway. He's good eye candy, but not much help elsewhere." She shot the boy a wink as he uncomfortably frowned, following Elici out into the hallways.

"Hah, I knew you'd always be a lady killer," Elici joked, placing his free arm around Cloud's shoulders instinctively.

He flinched, and Elici immediately released him.

"Sorry."

Cloud shook his head, fighting off the impending jitters that threatened to surface. "It's cool," he forced out. This was Elici; he'd never do anything to hurt him or make him sad in any way. He was the calm one of the group, the level-headed one. The pillar of inner strength that the rest of the unit looked up to as a guiding light.

They walked to a lounge area off of the main lobby of the floor and they took seats across from each other in a set of rather stiff chairs. It reminded them of the chairs in the waiting room of the infirmary.

"You won't have to worry about Mejia for a few days, Cloud," he said bluntly.

Cloud looked up, his lips twinging slightly at this statement. He forced himself to smile. "That's good."

"We've been ordered out to the Northern Crater."

That smile disappeared. "What...?" Elici could see Cloud's adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard with nothing short of fear plastered on his face.

"He's been assigned to relieve a few men out there for a week. He was told he needed to take two people with him, so he picked me and another from the unit. Evans, I think."

"Why would he pick you?"

Elici just simply shrugged, frowning thoughtfully. "Probably because he was forced to, I'm assuming. I am known to keep a watchful eye on everyone. Who else better to keep an eye on a crazed madman?"

"How about a SOLDIER or Turk?" Cloud's voice was beginning to strengthen, much to Elici's surprise. "Isn't that their job!? Why do they have to send you there!?"

A few people glanced over at the two as Elici hushed the angered boy.

"Now, now. Calm down kid." He was suddenly smiling, very, very widely, with a sparkle in his eye which made Cloud recoil his head in confusion. "I was waiting to tell you all this for when I got back, but I'll let you in on a little secret, my friend." He motioned Cloud to scoot closer in his seat and he obeyed, sitting practically on the edge.

"I've been promoted."

"O-oh," was Cloud's reaction.

Elici didn't expect much else, as everyone knew that it was Cloud's dream to be a SOLDIER, having failed one attempt at joining already in the past. "Sorry I didn't say anything beforehand, but I just recently found out not a day ago."

"When did they hold tryouts?"

He frowned, feeling very guilty all of a sudden. "While...you were in the hospital."

"Great," he said flatly.

He was so amusing, such a child still, that it made Elici think of his own young son back in the slums. "Hey now, don't be all pissy. You'll get your chance."

And that forced smile was back on his face. "Yeah, sorry. Congrats, Elici."

"Hey! That's 3rd Class SOLDIER Elici to you now, grunt." He reached out and ruffled Cloud's hair lightly, careful not to jar his healing head too much. "Well, technically I'm not SOLDIER just yet. I have to wait until I get back to receive the official title, and the broadsword of course."

"Graves is gonna be so damn pissed," Cloud said once the ruffling had ceased. Everyone just seemed to love doing that to him, and frankly he didn't like it. But he wasn't about to stop people from acknowledging their affection towards him in that way, even if it was annoying. His friends were too few and far between to let something as friendly hair ruffling stop him from taking what he could get from them.

"Yeah, don't tell him yet, okay? I wanna see the angry look on that face of his when I smear it all across him after the ceremony." A surprisingly evil cackle flowed from the usually serious man and it made Cloud laugh genuinely.

Elici seemed to enjoy seeing Cloud laugh like that, and he smiled back at him warmly, brotherly. "So you can relax while I'm gone with that ass, okay?"

Cloud gave a quick nod with a smile. "Yeah, don't worry about me."

Elici frowned then and it made Cloud frown in return. "I do, though."

They became quiet, and Cloud shifted nervously in his seat. A wave of guilt washed over him, and he started to hate himself for causing his friends to constantly worry and care over him. He should be strong enough to handle himself on his own just like everyone else.

"Elici?" Cloud's voice suddenly came out soft, barely there.

"Yeah?"

"Did...you tell anyone about what Mejia did to me in the barracks?"

Another silence hazed over the two. People walked past casually, some of them laughing with each other, some of them hurriedly scurrying by in their busy life.

Blue eyes met green, a young boy met a man in an intense stare.

"Of course I did," he simply said.

'By-the-Book-Elici' until the end, of course.


~*~*~
Five days passed by since Elici had been shipped out with Mejia to the Northern Crater. Cloud was nervous going back to Zack's apartment after his behavior with him that night, so he avoided him thoroughly, spending the next few nights in the Mejia-less barracks.

At first he was even more nervous to return there, in fear of ridicule, in fear of rejection. Some people seemed to be respectful towards him, and maybe even a little bit welcoming of him once he finally gained up the courage to enter again. Although some men decided to be asses and jokingly place their phone number on Cloud's bed with "Call me" written in suggestive handwriting on cologne soaked paper. Those Ratcliff and Graves hurriedly collected before Cloud could find them.

Of course most of the men, even if they wanted to tease Cloud about it, were scared shitless over Graves and the possibility that he would maim them beyond recognition if they were to be caught.

It was a bit lonely at times as everyone was out on missions or humps, and he was left behind due to his injury. It was driving him crazy being left alone after five p.m. in the barracks once the offices began to shut down and there was no more work left for him to do. He occupied himself by staring up at Ratcliff's bunk above his most of the time, or drifting in and out of naps.

Zack had stopped by once to check in on him a few days prior, but couldn't stay as he was heading out for his own mission that would last for a night. Their encounter was awkward between them, but they both tried their best to act as if everything was normal.

It was far from normal.

"I...don't feel right." His own voice reverberated in his mind as he lay on his bunk, staring up at the bars and springs above his head.

He turned on his side, curling up, mentally kicking himself for blurting out such a strange phrase. He wasn't even sure what he meant by saying that, but somehow Zack knew what he was talking about and agreed that he felt the same way.

Cloud let out a longing sigh, his mind drifting to Zack. He really missed spending time with him, and it was torturous. But he felt so ashamed for his behavior while in Zack's care that he couldn't even fathom showing up at his place as if nothing had happened. He acted so distracted, so helpless and invalid. It was embarrassing. Never had he let anyone see him act so oddly before.

But never had he been molested and almost raped by someone before either. He felt demoralized, emasculated.

He really didn't feel right.

Maybe that's what he meant...

Yeah right.

Cloud stuffed his head under his pillow with an embarrassed-for-himself groan. He didn't notice the sound of the double doors opening and his fellow unit piling in after some training in Materia usage.

That was one thing he always excelled in compared to the rest of his peers. His magical abilities surpassed most of the men around him, as he could manage to cast high level spells without so much as sweating or panting. The others barely managed simple spells like Fire and Thunder without claiming that it was bullshit in frustration. Most would rather just shoot off their assault rifles and mouths than use their minds and harness the useful power of Materia.

A few loud men yelling nearby startled Cloud from his musing and he sat up, peeling the pillow from off his head, messing his already wild hair up even more.

A warm chuckle and Ratcliff sat down on the bed across from Cloud. It was Elici's. "Hard at work, yeah?"

Cloud brought his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and stared off at the tables on the other side of the room where several men were already making themselves comfortable with a game of poker. "Not really."

"That was sarcasm, yeah."

"I know."

Ratcliff frowned briefly, which he didn't like to do much, so he turned it into a friendly grin, reaching out and patting Cloud on the shoulder. "Wanna go see what Zack's up to? I think he's back from his mission, yeah?"

"Not really," he replied again.

Ratcliff removed his issued helmet and tossed it up onto his bunk above Cloud's with a practiced ease. "Something happen between you two, yeah?"

"Not...really."

"Bullshit." A voice from behind Ratcliff and Graves emerged, removing his helmet and shaking a head of short, wiry black hair. "Ya've been avoidin' him."

"Have not." Cloud pouted in this meek defense.

"Whatever ya say, man." He clambered up the metal ladder to his bunk above Elici's and flopped down on it with a content sigh. "Weather out there's a bitch, man. Cold as fuck. Be thankful yer inside, Cloud."

Cloud just ignored him, pulling his knees a bit closer to his body. The cold never bothered him anyway, being from Nibelheim. He thought of Zack being out in the cold, having grown up in the humid tropics of Gongaga. He wondered how he was holding up in the rainy weather outside, but then realized he had no idea where his mission had sent him to. Maybe he had been out in Costa Del Sol for all he knew.

And then he thought of Elici at the Northern Crater. That was a cold blizzard that would even cause Cloud's Nibelheim blood to freeze over. He shuddered at the mere thought.

"Has...anyone heard from Elici?" Cloud suddenly asked, lifting his head from off his knees. He looked at Ratcliff who just shrugged nonchalantly.

"Nah, fucker's prolly eatin' icicles up there for all we know. Makin' yellow snow, the fun stuff."

Ratcliff was disgusted by that comment, and made a scoffing noise to voice his distaste for Graves' speech. "You need to learn some manners, Graves, yeah."

Graves flipped over onto his stomach and hung his head off of the bunk, glaring down at the two with amber eyes. "And ya need ta be a little less of a sissy boy. Find yerself a woman ta set ya straight."

"Graves!" Cloud snapped up at the man who just laughed and returned to his bunk.

Ratcliff didn't seem bothered by this crack at his sexual preference, as it was well known that he preferred the company of a man over a woman. The whole 'Don't ask; don't tell' motto of the Shin-Ra Infantry Division didn't mean a damn thing to Ratcliff. He could care less what people thought of him, and Cloud envied and admired that confidence in him.

"And when's the last time you were ever with a woman, Graves? Seems to me that you repel them with that attitude of yours, yeah!"

Graves just muttered an angry reply, somewhat defeated. The sound of a magazine rustling above was heard. "Last time I was with a woman was right about now..." A perverted chuckle came from the man as he was obviously looking at a dirty magazine.

"That's just sick, yeah!" Ratcliff shook his head, turning his attention back to Cloud who seemed like he was trying to sneak a peek at the magazine out of curiosity, or maybe he was just too naïve to understand what Graves meant by his comment and wanted to investigate it for himself.

"You're too young for that, yeah."

"I'm fifteen, and I'm not looking at it..." he said, his eyes darting back over to Ratcliff. "I just didn't understand what he meant..."

Hit the nail on the head, Ratcliff did. Cloud was just naïve.

"And it's not like I haven't seen those before anyway."

Ratcliff tilted his head back, a shocked and dubious look on his face. Perhaps Cloud wasn't as naïve and innocent as everyone thought he was.

"T-they weren't mine..." he said as he began to clumsily explain himself to Ratcliff, as Ratcliff realized he still held a startled expression on his face. "They were this guy's...back home and he snuck them from his dad..." He was rambling, his face turning a bit red at his cheeks.

"Cloud, Cloud," Ratcliff hushed the boy, "you don't have to explain anything, yeah?"

"Yeah but...I'm...not like that..."

Graves' voice chimed in from above. "Stop while yer ahead, kid!"

Cloud shut his mouth, burying his face in his knees with a helpless moan.

Ratcliff couldn't help but laugh at him. A lot. "You're too cute!" Ratcliff cried, nearly doubling over with unrestrained laughter.

Cloud's head shot up. "What!?" His face was very pale and it caused Ratcliff to cease his laughing immediately.

"I...said 'You're too cute.' Sorry if I made you uncomfortable, yeah?" He wiped a tear away from the corner of his eye as his shoulders slowed in their heaving movement.

Light blue eyes were darting back and forth on the man. His mouth parted slightly, his eyebrows furrowed on his forehead. It had finally registered in his brain what was said to him a week prior.

"Everything all right, yeah?" Ratcliff peered at him worriedly.

"I...don't feel right," he uttered.

"Look whatcha did Ratcliff. Ya gone and broke the boy." A flip of a page in the magazine, followed by a sound of piqued interest in whatever body part was being viewed. Surely he wasn't reading one of the published articles.

Ratcliff raised his eyebrows, staring into the turmoil filled eyes of the boy in front of him. "Oh." He nodded his head slowly, understandingly. "I see."

Cloud frowned, looking absolutely petrified in his own body at that moment and he slowly lowered his head back down onto his knees.

Ratcliff knew that look a little too well.


~*~*~
"Shit, lost him!" His voice was wiped clean from the air as the unrelenting blizzard showered past the two men with sheets of smug ice. The storm was greedy, rude as it ignored the pleas of the frantic men as they searched for their target.

"Where the fuck did Mejia go!?" the grunt Evans called to Elici through the roar of the blizzard.

Elici trotted up to Evans, cradling himself from the unimaginable frost as he stumbled a bit in the powdered snow. "I think he went south from here!" He was shouting even though he was a mere four feet away. The howling wind carried his voice off into the depths of the Northern Crater which gaped ominously besides them.

"We can't leave our post, sir!"

Elici fidgeted at this remark as he glanced nervously between Evans and the now fading footprints in the snow from Mejia's desertion of his post.

Why the hell had he run off?

There was nothing for miles around. The nearest village was the Icicle Inn, but that was reportedly overrun by AVALANCHE and strange creatures called Ravens, he was informed by the guards they relieved. There were reports of several SOLDIERs deployed there, including a 1st Class and a Turk. Something big must have been going on down there for them to send SOLDIER, let alone a 1st and the Turks.

"Stay here, I'm going after him!" Elici finally shouted the order and Evans nodded, readjusting his grip on his rifle. "If I'm not back in fifteen, radio in the situation, understood? We have may a deserter!"

"Understood!"

Elici gave a final nod and trotted off into the angry storm around them.


~*~*~
Ten minutes...

Thirteen minutes...maybe?

He had been gone for too long. He had to head back. The footprints leading away from their post were gone now from freshly layered snow. Frantic eyes glanced back from his previous direction. His footprints were beginning to dwindle, and even with a compass and a level head on his shoulders he would soon find himself lost in the sea of chaos around him if he didn't turn back now.

He trudged back through the snow, his uniform soaked with the chilling reminder of the deceiving beauty around. Each tree, each boulder he passed was blanketed with a unique sprinkle of individualism from the minute flakes that fell. The pure white around was a tangible representation of how the Lifestream existed in his mind. Hauntingly beautiful, and devoid of anything but endless movement and infinite delicacy.

And if it wasn't for the piercing coldness in every fiber of his body, every inch of bone through him, he would have taken a longer look at this marvel before him. The bitter cold was too much a representation of what death would feel like. Relentless, merciless, unforgiving.

Elici could see the peak of the crater through the haze of snow flying past him as he neared.

Elici could see Mejia standing over a fallen Evans.

"Mejia!" His voice cut through the strength of the blizzard and pierced the ears of the man above him.

"Can you believe that this fuck tried to detain me?" His eyes darted over to Elici who was scrambling up the side of the crater with his rifle in hand. "Only a mindless idiot would defy me." His body turned to face Elici as he finally reached him, his weapon aimed directly at Mejia's head. "Mindless fuckin' idiot..."

"Back away from Evans."

An unbelievable cackle flowed from him. "Don't worry, I'm not going to kill him."

"Then back away and put your goddamn hands up!"

"Are you seriously trying to order me around, Elici!?"

Elici stopped, his hands shifting on the trigger and the stock of the assault rifle. His weapon began to lower, his head beginning to rise upright.

"You seem to have forgotten that I'm still in charge, fucker." Mejia began to clamber down the terrain of the crater, approaching Elici with an aura of blind confidence. The type of confidence that was unrestrained, unwavering that suggested he had the upper hand.

Elici was the one holding the weapon, Mejia was defenseless. He reassured himself in his mind.

"Wanna know somethin'? The only reason why they won't promote me to 2nd class was because I wasn't able to fill a quota."

Elici waited, digging his bent stance farther into the snow.

"Not enough men under my command were passing with high enough scores in their P.F.T testing and Materia training courses. You see, I need enough people under me to be promoted for me to earn a promotion. Stupid fuckin' thing, if you ask me."

"What are you getting at?" Elici shouted through the wind.

"I'm the one who had you promoted, you fuck! To fill my goddamned quota!"

Elici began to lower his rifle, stunned.

"But then you went and ran to the Brass and told them what I did to Strife. Mother fucker shoulda just kept your goddamn mouth shut!"

"You mess with my brothers, you mess with me."

"Oh don't give me that shit. Strife ain't nothin' but a little fuck."

A finger switched the selector lever from single shot to burst. "'Little fuck', huh? You're a disgrace."

"I forgive you, Elici. I really do."

"Fuck you."

"No, I'm serious! And I'll prove it to you."

Elici's green eyes watched as the man walked back up to the lip of the crater, gripping the man Evan's by the green scarf around his neck and pulling his upper body off of the white pillow of snow he lay on lifelessly.

"I was thinkin' of having your promotion pulled since you ratted me out, but I'll give you a chance to make it up to me."

"Put him down," Elici warned, the muzzle of his rifle trailing the man's movements.

"Shoot him," Mejia ordered.

"I refuse!"

"Shoot this fucker and I'll reinstate your promotion to SOLDIER."

"I refuse!" he repeated, louder.

"You know that I can be off the hook?"

Elici pulled his head back from the side of his rifle, peering at him through the snow. "What?"

"For trying to fuck Strife."

"What the hell are you talking about!?"

"My family is rich, fucker! I can have the Brass bribed off easily! Then I'll be free to fuck him whenever I want!" There was a joyous glee to his voice as he said that.

"What the hell did Strife ever do to you!?"

"Shoot this motherfucker now, and you'll be promoted, and I'll leave Strife alone!" He was shaking the unconscious man in his hands violently as he screamed this. "That's an order!"

Elici lowered his weapon. "I refuse."

"Fine, I'll do it." He swiftly reached into his pocket, pulling out a 9mm handgun.

"Stop!" Elici went to fire his rifle at Mejia, but the SOLDIER was too fast.

The blizzard was no longer rude, it was no longer smug as it lowered its head in humility to the gunshot that reverberated through its soul.

And Elici watched as the bullet entered the man between the eyes that slowly opened to the final scene in his life. The eyes closed, the body falling onto the tainted white below.

"Shoulda listened to me, Elici. Now I have to kill you too," he casually said as he stood, scooting the lifeless man off into the crater with a simple shuffle of his boot. Crimson snow followed the body as it disappeared over the edge.

No words escaped Elici's mouth. No thoughts ran through his head as the crazed man moved towards him in an unimaginable and untraceable display of inhuman speed.

Elici had forgotten that in this disgraced shell of a man was still a SOLDIER.

His clothes seemed dry.

The bitter cold in his bones was gone now.

The delicate feel of the snow engulfing him made him smile, reminding him of his family, reminding him of the blond boy who captivated his heart with innocence.

The Lifestream was exactly as Mick Elici pictured it to be.

White, endless, exquisite.


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...To be continued in Chapter Eight: Color of Existence.