Hopes Despair

Chapter 8

I awoke to the sound of the door handle quietly being jiggled, ‘damn can’t I ever get a peaceful sleep for once’ I turned to roll over when I realised there was someone lying beside me.
“Tseng” I whispered
“Reno. Don’t worry I locked the door when I came in” Tseng slowly propped himself up on his side “You want to open it don’t you?” Accusingly
“And why would I want to do that for?” I replied innocently
“Remember you’re the other person. Not the other way round”
“Of course I remember, how I could not with her continually flaunting it” frustration showing “All I can think about is you, and then I see her … it’s not fair”
Tseng placed a comforting hand my shoulder “Reno. Don’t worry about it, I’m here with you” He smothered my reply with a tender kiss he slowly pulled me back down never releasing his hold upon me. He slowly ran his hand down my chest sending a sensation of pleasure from the mere touch. I moaned into his mouth as his hand gently slid down the front of my boxers, brushing against my hardened prick.
“Mmm glad to see you’re enjoying yourself,” he whispered into my ear as he nibbled on my lobe
“Fuck you Tseng” I panted
His hand rhythmically massaging my hardening prick, I dropped my head back as I was swept away by the waves of pleasure I felt.
“Tseng, you’re driving me crazy”
“Then show me how bad you want me”
“Is that an order or a request?” I whispered between breathes of ecstasy.
He answered with a long hard kiss, taking away my remaining breathes. Roughly he removed his hand from my prick, sliding it up my chest with an urgency not really seen from him. With his other hand he pushed me hard against the bed, my back softly cushioned by the soft mattress. Tseng looked down at me for a moment with a look of content and love.
“Reno…I wasn’t sure I wanted to do this” his eyes softened with guilt “I’ve thought about this…but never comprehended how much I needed to do this” he continued to look at me then finally leaned in and gave me a warm kiss on the temple. When he leaned back up I could see a look of relief and happiness, as if he had finally rid himself of a burden that had been weighing him down.
“Tseng, don’t feel guilty of your feelings. They are there for a reason and I know you try to hide it, but you don’t have to around me” I stroked back his dark soft hair from his eyes this was the first time I had ever really taken time to comfort anyone. The mere act of stroking his hair brought us closer then before, his body relaxed as he straddled me.
“Tseng…” I was lost for words as I ran my hands over his toned chest “I never realised how…” I grinned as I realised how dumb I must have sounded (being the scrawniest person you would ever meet).
Tseng just looked down with admiration as he too ran his hands across me chest, his hands felt so soft against me pale cool skin.
“Well I have to look after your arse, it pays to be prepared” he smiled
“When you put it like that” I leaned up to kiss Tseng when I heard the doorknob being jiggled again. I could feel my frustration growing as Elena continued to interfere with my desire to fuck Tseng. I finally snapped “Elena fuck off”
The next thing I knew I was in the fetal position feeling cold, Tseng had leapt off and was darting to the door. I whimpered as I tried to stop the world from collapsing in on me I rolled over in time to see Tseng opening the door, my heart sank as I saw Elena standing there sobbing. Tseng stepped closer and held her in his arms, I felt jealous by the way he treated her so kind and lovingly. How he could freely show his feeling for her so openly without having to worry about being black mailed or something and I hated the fact that she could take him away from me so easily, when all I wanted was to show how much I loved and cared for him.
I rolled over turning my back to them mumbling my frustration to the pillow, behind I could hear Tseng consoling Elena.
“Fuck!” I finally snapped I sprung up out of the bed, grabbed my clothes.
“Reno…” Tseng tried to chastise me
“No Tseng! I can’t take this bullshit anymore” I yanked my pants on violently. Practically ripping them over my legs, I pushed my feet into my shoes and stormed over to the door. Tseng grabbed my arms as I tried to push my way through, Elena had her head buried into Tseng’s chest but I could still tell she was enjoying hearing me suffer.
“Reno. Where are you going?”
I glared at him with both anger and longing “Somewhere. Anywhere”
“Reno please…” desperation in his voice
“Tseng I can’t take this anymore” my voice filled with frustration “So long as she is here ….” I shook off his grip and stormed down the hallway towards the front door.
“Reno, where are you going?”
“OUT” I shot back as I slammed the door closed behind me. My eyes beginning to well up with tears as I made my way to the elevator, frustrated I continually push the down arrow sobbing. When the door finally opened, I fell into the elevator collapsing against the wall, listening to the soft hum as the doors closed behind me. I slide down the wall, collapsing into random sobs then finally breaking down into an endless flow of tears. My heart aching like I’d never felt before, it was the feeling of loosing something dear, loosing someone you truly loved. I curled up into a grief stricken ball sobbing uncontrollably hugging myself to make sure that I was still alive. I was so lost in my grief that I didn’t notice that the elevator had begun to moved, nor did I notice the figure leaning over me.
“Reno” Tseng whispered as he softly stroked my back “I never meant for it to turn out like this. I was a fool to think that I could love you both, without hurting either of you” his voice full of pain “I love …” he hesitated and he looked down upon me, tenderly stroking my hair. He leaned forward brushing away tear soaked strands of hair “I love you Reno,” he whispered into my ear as he kissed away my tears.
“Then why can’t I have you?” I sobbed, “Why am I second?”
Tseng continued to stroke my hair “Because I don’t know how to love you openly,” he replied honestly. “Because I’m not supposed to have feelings let alone be in love with you, please understand that if I could I would change how …”Tseng thought a moment before continuing “Because I don’t want to end up like Rude. I do not want you to have to worry that I will be a target from those who mean you harm. I do not want you to have go through loosing someone else close to you.” Tseng leant completely down and hugged me. Softly whispering in my ear to calm my sobbing down, how can someone so cold and distant also be so kind and tender at the same time? I leapt up from the floor into Tseng arms, practically knocking Tseng back against the opening door. “Please take me away from here,” I begged into his chest.
“Where do you want to go?” Tseng held me close to his chest for a moment before picking me up and walking out of the elevator, into the parking garage.