Challenge Fic 1

VVL69: This is in response to the challenge, I couldn't resist it. I have Vivi paired with all sorts of people in my thoughts. And you, dear reader, are my inspiration! Especially my fan who mentioned me in their story! Thanks a whole lot!
Vivi: Yeah, if only we can get her to shut up now.
VVL69: That's gratitude for you. Anyway, Veevs, you're not getting paired with Kuja this time.
Vivi: DON'T CALL ME VEEVS! ><
VVL69: Fine, fine; A-NY-WAY, you're not paired up with Kuja.
Vivi: Oh, great. So which slobbering pervert am I paired up with this time?
VVL69: None . . . unless you consider Garnet and Ruby to be slobbering perverts.
Vivi: *blinks* oO *claps his hands excitedly* Oh boy oh boy oh--WAIT . . . This is a first-chapter ploy to get me to work, isn't it? You'll stick me with Quina later!
VVL69: Read the script, little man. *tosses papers at him*
Vivi: Boy, you need some better organization . . . *ruffles through the papers* Okay, okay . . . good . . . yeah . . . WAIT A MINUTE! I know what sex is already! Why do I have to be taught?!
VVL69: That's the plot. Innocent, green little Vivi catches someone in the act and asks about sex.
Vivi: *sweatdropping* I'm not naive. But never mind, I'll go through the motions.
VVL69: Good. Now on with the show!

~

Vivi: *clears throat* This is the necessary ratings guide. M/F/F, underage smut, kiddy porn, pedophile's paradise, whatever, whatever, whatever. *is yanked away by a mage cane* Byebye!

~

"I can see you . . . " Amarant chuckled in the darkness of the Prima Vista's master bedroom. He'd swiped the key from Baku rather cunningly, and now he was going to have a big to-do with his favorite girl . . . even though she was always bragging about being the best and prettiest bounty hunter, she had a great rack and an ass to die for. "Get over here, woman, before I come over there and fuck you standin' up."

"'Course you can see me," Lani grunted as she removed her cumbersome corset. The damn thing was made with Serpion bone and hurt like hell, but she wasn't about to admit she was even a bit out of shape . . . hell, to her knowledge even that stuck-up bitch Freya wore one. She saw a gleam of yellow in the window and dismissed it as the shine of a lamp. Who cared if it was one of those pervy mages looking in? They didn't say anything to her, so it was none of her business.

"What's takin' you so long, woman? Get your ass over here!" Amarant growled. "'S been a good long while since I've blown my wad."

Lani almost chuckled. She again saw two small flashes of yellow and shrugged; if they wanted to watch Amarant get his fuck on, they could go right ahead. Dumping the corset carelessly on the floor, she sauntered over to the bed with an easy grin and grabbed Amarant right by his balls.

The massive troll slapped her on the ass and lifted her onto the bed. "Now what the fuck are you doin' to my stones, woman?" He clapped one sturdy hand on her breast and squeezed it painfully.

~

The view from the window was becoming uncomfortable. He slipped and almost fell, but caught himself on the edge of the windowpane. "Wh . . . What are they doing?" he hissed aloud in the darkness. Lani was putting her mouth on something . . . wait a minute, that something was--

He looked down at the laced seam in the front of his pants, almost hidden by his coat. "Can someone do that?" he wondered aloud, idly poking at his pants. Something hard and uncomfortable had come over him, stretching his pants to an almost mythic degree; when he poked at his pants again, he felt a slight tremor.

He looked up at a muffled sound from within the room. Now Amarant was bending Lani over, and . . . and . . . ohmygodIreallyshouldn'tbehere . . .

He fell from the window sill and ran off, stumbling into the darkness.