I turn to you (to step forward)

Disclaimer: SquarSoft owns the boys
Warnings: Yaoi, angst
Parings: SxS
Beta: None, you up for it?
Lyric: Melanie C – I turn to you
Notes: A one-shot song fic with our favourite boy antsy about the future.
I listened to her song and this one-shot popped up in my head. Please read and please review.
You know I thrive of your words, right?


I turn to you (to step forward)

”When the world is darker than I can understand.
When nothing turns out the way I planned.
When the sky turns grey and there’s no end in sight.
When I can’t sleep through the lonely night.”

The night started towards the end. The ball was over and done with, only the hired people still lingering. The training centre was quiet. Either no one wanted to stay up in the secret area or they had found other places. Most people were probably asleep or busy with other activities.

Squall Leonhart, fully qualified and newly examinee SeeD, couldn’t sleep. He strolled the Garden in search for something. What, he didn’t know. Sleep, maybe. The monsters in the training centre were few. Most of them too were asleep.

He was restless.

Squall had past the exam with flying colours. Starting at level 10, the highest you could. The next day he would start on his first real mission. All training and frustration had at last given satisfaction.

Something was missing.


“I turn to you,
Like a flower leaning towards the sun.
I turn to you,
‘cos you’re the only one.
Who can turn me around when I’m upside down.
I turn to you.”

Maybe it wasn’t “something”, but “someone”?

Squall strolled back from the training centre, gunblade hitting his hip with every step. He and Zell had past because they followed orders. Seifer hadn’t. Well, that was his sorrow…

Squall stopped in the hallways, struck by sudden panic. Seifer hadn’t past. Squall had.

The brunet leaned against the wall, senses swimming, head reeling. He would have to leave Seifer behind. He would be alone. The arrogant blond wouldn’t be by his side as he had been all these years. Squall was alone.

His body started trembling. Fear. He didn’t want to. What would he do? If he didn’t have Seifer to follow and hunt, what would he do? Damn him. Damn Seifer for not being patient and for once do as told. Why did he have to fail?

Squall started almost running through the hallways.


”When my insides are wracked with anxiety.
You have the touch that will quiet me.
You lift my spirit. You melt the ice.
When I need inspiration, when I need advice.”

He was banging at the door almost before he had stopped. After a while of persistent banging, he heard a dissatisfied grunt and angry shouting. The door hissed open and Squall met the bed ruffled glaring gunblader. The angry glare slowly turned to surprise and then annoyance. The blond opened his mouth to growl something, but Squall wouldn’t let him.

“You idiot!”

They stared at each other. Seifer in baffled silence, Squall in anger. Then Seifer leaned against the wall and bent forward a little to seem more threateningly. He wasn’t one to take insults lightly, not even in the middle of the night.

“Say what?” he growled.

“Why couldn’t you for once just do as told!? Why did you need to be a brainless thug this day of all?!” Squall practically screamed at the other youth.

He was so stupid! Arrogant, annoying prick! Why? Squall clenched his fists hard, not noticing how his throat knotted and his voice becoming uneven and rough because of it. Why had he failed all those times if he wasn’t waiting for Squall? The blond tried saying something again.

“Why did you fail all other times? Why this time too?” Squall continued, his voice clogging as his throat became a hard and aching knot, his eyes burning.

They fell silent. Squall, because he couldn’t talk as he noticed the tears and sobs that wanted to come forth. Seifer, because he tried to cope what was yelled at him in the middle of night.

Something changed in the larger youth. The anger and defensiveness evaporated and was replaced with hardness. As the blond stepped away from the door and invited him inside, Squall stared at the dark opening.

Somehow, stepping inside didn’t feel strange at all. He walked inside, anger slowly draining from him to be replaced with the chaos called emotions.

”I turn to you.
When fear tells me to turn around
I turn to you.
‘cause you’re the only one, who can turn me around when I’m upside down.
I turn to you.”

The door hissed closed and the faint click from it being locked was heard straight after. Squall stood still in the middle of the dark room. It was neat, what he could see in the darkness. Not at all what he had expected. There were photo frames at a shelve; he couldn’t make out the pictures.

Hyperion lay in her case standing against a wall. Seifer’s uniforms hung neatly behind it, much like in Squall’s room. There were books at the shelve too. By all things, a cactus stood in the window.

“What I do with my life is noon of your concern, Leonhart,” Seifer grunted darkly and reminded Squall of the other’s presence.

The brunet turned around. Seifer stood with crossed arms and straight back. That superior expression plastered on his face.

“Just because you’re the good little soldier and succeeds, gives you no right to come barging in here in the middle of night and throw insults around. You want me to give you another scar?” Seifer asked coldly. Squall hardly registered what he said.

“I won’t accept the promotion.”

It became dead silent in the room.

“What…?”

“I won’t. I will wait for you,” as Squall had said that it became even quieter.

No! What had he said!? What did he mean? He hadn’t thought that at all, had he? A different panic surged in him and it mixed with the terror of being thrown out in the world without the other gunblader.

“What rubbish are you sprouting?” Seifer almost growled, eyes sparkling in anger.

“I won’t become SeeD until you do,” Squall repeated.

Seifer hit his own forehead and rambled a lot of foul words.

“Whatever did your fucked up mind come up with to make you do that, huh? Why wait for me? I may not even want to,” Seifer growled.

“I don’t want to be alone.” It became silent again.

Squall felt tears run down his face. Yes. That was right. He didn’t want to be alone.

“Don’t be stupid. There’re a lot of people out there. You’ll probably get your own squad too,” Seifer said silently.

“No! I can’t. What will I do alone?” Squall said almost in a panic.

He couldn’t lead people. He couldn’t even talk to others, how was he supposed to lead others? He was scared.

“Oh boy…” Seifer sighed and pinched his nose.

He stepped forward until it was just half an arms length between them.

“Grow up, Puberty boy. You have all the necessary skills. You’re a great gunblader and a good strategist. I’ll be right behind you, chasing you for once,” the blond said calmly with a smirk.

Squall looked away. He didn’t want too but when Seifer put it that way… Strong fingers caught his jaw and Squall didn’t resist it as his head was turned upward and he had to gaze into those green eyes.

“Hey, you can do this. You better start running because I’ll catch up with you and then you’ll never beat me,” the blond grinned though there was encouragement in the voice.

A rough thumb stroked away some of the tears. Maybe he really could do this? If Seifer was right behind him.

“You promise? To come after me?” he asked silently.

He looked up into those green eyes intently. He needed this answer. The thumb that had stroked away his tears was now brushing along his lips.

“Yeah, it’s a promise,” the blond answered, voice deep and dark.

Squall sighed in relief and smiled, faintly leaning into the hand.

”Where would I be?
What would I do?
If you’d never helped me through?
I hope someday if you lost your way. You could turn to me like I turn to you.”

Hot lips suddenly pressed down on his. As he didn’t resist, a tongue sneaked inside his mouth and the hand around his jaw buried itself in his hair. Squall answered out of instinct. The determinate attack made his body respond and he shyly touched his tongue to the alien one in his mouth.

Squall was backed into the table and when he couldn’t get any further, Seifer had a chance to show how eager the large body was. The blond parted their mouths and as their eyes met, Squall was as good as hypnotised.

So dark and intense green. Quickened breathing, jumping pulse. So hard and vibrant in mere seconds. Had that been a kiss? Was this… lust? This tingling sensation in his body.

“Stay tonight,” Seifer said with a husky tone Squall had never heard, not even after an exhausting session.

What did it mean if he stayed? Would they? Was that possible? Did he want to find out? Squall had nodded before he had made up his mind. It was all the other needed. Eager hands started unclothing him. Squall followed the lead and passively let things happen. His jacket fell. He helped with all the belts. His trousers fell. He helped with the boots.

Fingers whispered against his sides in a downward stroke and he shuddered. His pendant tingled as his t-shirt was dragged off him. A hot mouth covered his again. Squall shuddered as a warm hand massaged his chest. His nipple reacted and became hard against those fingers.

His body was pulsing. It became hot and hard. Squall flinched and moaned faintly as the other warm hand cupped his groin. His nipple was abandoned and Seifer fisted his hair to deepen the kiss. Squall was pushed against the table and something hard was ground against him. Did this arouse the blond?

Squall let his hands explore timidly, not knowing what was right and what was wrong. The blond’s nipples stood hard under his fingers, just as his own had done. Seifer took a sure grip around his hips and guided him away from the table. He shuddered as his last garment was dragged off and he was pushed down at the bed.

In the dim moon light of the room, he could faintly make out the other gunblader’s forms. Seifer was unclothing completely and as he leaned down over Squall, the lithe youth met him half way in a kiss. Warm hands guided him correctly at the bed before spreading his legs.

Squall was breathing erratic. His heart was thudding as if he were starting out a training session. He became warm and cold and shivered. Was this how it was? Too have sex? He jumped when naked skin met naked skin and the blond levered himself down. For a moment Squall though he’d be suffocated under the weight, then sex met sex.

He flinched in surprise and gasped, involuntarily stroking against the other. Was it pain? Seifer ground down against him and Squall couldn’t help the sharp gasp and twisting in his body. So hot. So strange. The larger gunblader suddenly nibbled his ear. Using lips to massage the lobe and continuing down to the neck. Biting, suckling. Squall helplessly gasped as he gripped thick arms and gyrated his hips upward.

He flinched as warm fingers graced his side and then continued to stroke his body. Up and then down. Adjusting his hips somewhat for them to match each other better. Seifer grunted and balanced his weight at both elbows, heavily grinding down and lifting his head. Squall could make out the faint glint of eyes in the dim moon light.

Sensations he had never imagined surged through him. Made his body ripple and twitch on its own. Took away his control and muddled his mind. Squall gasped and moaned helplessly as the heat between them just intensified for every minute.

“Have you never touched yourself?” Seifer asked with a dark thick voice.

Even in other circumstances, with a clear head, Squall wasn’t sure he’d understood the question. Seifer only shook his head and murmured something. Slowly the blond moved and skidded down his body to trap one leg. The brunet couldn’t help but half shout, half gasp sharply as his member was fisted and stroked in a sure hand.

He arched harshly and his breathing came so fast it was like running. Hyne, so good. So hot. He couldn’t control his body, it twitched and moved on its own. Following the flow of the other, like in a dance. He flinched as teeth and tongue attacked his erect nipples. He tangled a hand in sheets and the other in golden strands.

He was so hard. He had never experienced that before. His member was let go and a strangled noise escaped him. He wished that touch to come back. He willed his heart to calm down, though it didn’t listen. Seifer was doing something. Getting things out of his nightstand that Squall for his life couldn’t figure out what it was. He just wished the warm touches back.

“You really haven’t been with anyone before?” the blond asked as he opened something.

“No,” Squall answered. His voice was strange. Dusky and deep in away it never had been before.

It was hot between them. A warm hand urged his free leg up and the palm massaged his thigh. A thumb played with his balls and Squall moaned, twisting on the bed. Wanting the warm hand back on his manhood and nowhere else. Squall calmed down as sticky fingers explored his anus instead. He didn’t know what he had been expecting and decided to trust the blond, as in so many other things.

But as the finger suddenly breached him, he gasped and grabbed the strong arms harshly. He tried to twist away from the alien feeling. It felt wrong and strange.

“Calm down,” Seifer huskily ordered.

How could he calm down? It was too hot and strange. Squall gasped lightly as the finger went as deep as it could and then stayed still. He was twitching around the digit. Squeezing hard before releasing and doing it all over again. After a while he thought that maybe, just maybe, that wasn’t so bad.

Until Seifer moved the finger and another did it company. It went so easy and yet he felt himself clamping down hard around them. Squall made some sound akin to a no. They moved around. Drawing out, going back in. Making him squirm and moan. As a third was added, the lithe youth shouted and arched away, trying to twist away from them. Squall harshly tugged at blond strands and strong arm.

“Stop,” he gasped, sure now he didn’t like this. Couldn’t they continue what they had done before?

“Relax, it’ll be great,” the blond murmured assuring.

Seifer sucked his nipple again. The other warm hand sneaked under him as Squall arched a little. He flinched in surprise as his bellybutton was tongued and played with. Suddenly he gasped as sharp spikes of strange sensations shot through him. Squall arched and moaned deeply as the fingers in him did something.

It turned the fire already inside him to a blazing living thing. Suddenly heat enveloped his aching member. Squall arched hard and shouted. He twisted and squirmed in the sudden and brutal heat. One hand fisted the cover of the bed, the other fisted golden hair.

Squall gasped sharply and hard as his cock was swallowed slowly. Every little inch down to the base. Those fingers were making his whole body tingle as if electrified. Together it made his body an own living being, beyond him to control. He arched, tensed every muscle he had, only to relax and shiver and tremble, just to tense and squirm again.

He couldn’t think. Couldn’t breath. So hot, so good. The fingers became four and the pain it caused only intensified the lust raging in his body. So close. To something. He was going to explode. His heart was going to burst. The fingers thrust in him, fast and hard into that which made him see stars. And he screamed.

Searing heat raged through him. His whole body tensed in a beautiful arch and everything just tingled and became black.

As his hearing returned, which he hadn’t realised had disappeared; he only heard his own raged breathing. His heart was thundering in his ears. His body lame and heavy, senses muddled and incoherent. A mouth covered his and with it’s penetration a strange and sharp taste invaded him.

“Don’t fall asleep,” Seifer said harshly.

Squall blinked in the darkness. He didn’t react as his legs were hooked over broad shoulders. Sudden intense hurt cleared his head. He shouted at the continuation of it. His hands sought support as large hands gripped his hips. Squall gasped at the thrust that settled the manhood inside of him. It hurt.

“Hurts,” he succeeded in gasping.

“Know. It’ll be better,” was the deep murmured answer.

Squall couldn’t help the stifled noises he made. Slowly his legs were rested in the hook of Seifer’s arms as the blond leaned down, leaving Squall in an almost doubled over position.

“Use your hand,” the larger youth grunted.

Slowly Squall did as told. He traced his own body, feeling Seifer’s above. Strong muscles that moved with breathing. Finding his own manhood, he held his breath at first contact. It felt strange, not at all as when Seifer had touched it. It was sticky with semen and saliva. The brunet whimpered when the teen above him moved. The member was withdrawn and slowly pushed inside again. It was strange, felt strange and hurt.

“Stroke yourself, it’ll feel better,” the blond instructed.

Squall did such and found it quite nice. He was so sensitive. He grew hard in his hand and the moving member in his ass stopped hurting. Seifer started moving his hips more urgently. Squall strangled weird noises that wanted to burst forth at every thrust.

It felt good. That nice, hot sensation steadily returned with every thrust and stroke. Squall gasped lightly with the thrusts that increased in speed and power. He stroked himself faster to match it. It suddenly smacked between them and the blond groaned deeply.

They slowly merged into one grunting, moaning being, accompanied by slaps and smacks from flesh hitting flesh. Squall started a furious stroking, moaning and whimpering with the fast thrusts that made his body rock. So close. He was there again. He was going to explode like that again. So close.

Seifer grunted above him and his breathing was harsh. The hard member was thrust into him and lodged there as the larger teen harshly moaned. Squall gasped as he came. Not as harshly as the first time, still he recognised the tingling feeling.

They lay panting and shivering afterward. Squall clenched his jaw as the manhood was withdrawn form him. He didn’t question it as Seifer curled him up in an embrace and threw the cover over them.


I turn to you.
Like the flower leaning towards the sun.
I turn to you.
‘cause you’re the only one, who can turn me around when I’m upside down.
I turn to you.


Author’s Whining:
It’s my second song fic and I know a lot of people hate song fics. So if your one of those who hates them but still read this and liked it for some reason, can’t you tell me why?

Sorry for the “long time no see” by the way. I’m back, for now, but my inspiration just don’t want to work with me ;^^

I always need your feedback to continue and improve my work.

/Shehanitan