But I Still Can't Hate You

It was remarkably easy to give in these days. At first, when Master Golbez had opened his eyes Kain had found it difficult to follow orders. A part of him always insisted on rebellion. Now, as he sat in his room reflecting, it seemed to Kain that he was divided into a strong half and a weaker, whiney half. He smirked, blowing air out of his nose in a contemptuous snort. He just couldn't seem to leave that weakness behind, no matter how hard he tried. It insisted upon nagging him, filling his mind and heart with doubt and interfering with his performance in the Master's schemes. It was frustrating to no end, having the power he knew he did and being unable to use it.

Behind his helm, Kain's forehead pulled into a tight frown and the corners of his mouth twitched downward. The problem had been manageable… until Fabul.

Rosa. He hadn't known that she would be there, of all places. He had thought that she was safely tucked away in Baron's castle somewhere, pining for her Cecil. It had been a shock to see her just as he was about to triumph over Cecil. It had actually been enough to stay his hand momentarily. As if that weren't enough, he had felt shame, shame of all things, when she pleaded with him to stop. It had never been Kain's goal to drive Rosa away from him; he was becoming stronger for her sake. Her disapproval had… injured him somehow. It had been a monumental relief to Kain when Golbez had hidden her away, silencing his guilt and allowing him to fulfill his duty.

He smirked, a savage kind of glee erupting within him. Soon all of the crystals would belong to the Master and Cecil would die by his hand. High and mighty Cecil, always beating him to everything, always showing him up no matter what effort he put in. A small part of Kain tried to dredge up memories of a happier time with Cecil, but he squashed it firmly and sent it back to its place. Well, Cecil was the one coming in second now. Rosa was his. Cecil would not have her.

Rosa was the prize Master Golbez offered him, and Kain knew that once Cecil was dead she would be his absolutely. Once the crystals had been recovered Baron would be his kingdom, and Rosa would sit beside him on a throne of her own where she belonged - never to leave him ever again. Every part of him seemed to be aware of her proximity to him, even at this moment. It was like an invisible cord pulling him in her direction.

The hairs on the back of his head stood on end and he recognized the overwhelming presence of the Master. Involuntarily he crouched lower in his seat, looking around him slowly, submissive and obedient.

"She is yours for the next few hours, Kain. A reward for your conduct."

The voice came from everywhere; the walls, the floor, the chair he sat in. The fear and respect Kain held for the Master were washed away when his presence faded, and were replaced by a triumphant sort of glee. The prospect of time alone with Rosa dangled in front of him like a carrot on a stick and, eager to grasp it, he moved quickly out of his chair and across the room. His armor clicked around him as he strode through the many hallways, gears whirring busily around him. He had to suppress a strange urge to chuckle as vague unformed plans began circling in his head.

Rosa was kept under supervision near the top floor - near the Master's quarters. But Kain was not worried about Golbez being present. He had been promised time with Rosa, and knew that it would be alone time. Reaching the double doors he brushed them aside and stepped through them. They swung shut silently on their hinges and he stood still beyond them, head tilted slightly to one side observing the girl before him.

Faint warmth stirred in his chest. Rosa… his Rosa. She almost looked to be asleep. Her lovely head was bowed down, her face shielded by curtains of her hair. For a minute Kain wanted to be angry with the Master. Her wrists were shackled together above her head, extending her arms all the way and forcing her into a standing position. It couldn't be the most comfortable position, but his annoyance faded quickly. It wouldn't be for long. Cecil would die soon enough, and then it would be over - just a bad dream for Rosa. His eyes swept up and down her figure. She looked a little too thin, perhaps she had been ill? That Cecil didn't appreciate how fragile women were…

Without thinking about it he began walking towards her, observing the way the light shifted in her long, golden hair and played across her skin. As he always had, Kain marveled that such a treasure could exist.

She heard his footsteps and looked up, blue eyes bright and shining, happiness evident in them. It pleased him to see that light in her eyes. But then it faded as she recognized him. No doubt she was remembering the events in Fabul's crystal chamber. He stood before her, looking down evenly at her and refraining from speaking at the moment. Kain was content simply to watch the colors play in her eyes as she moved from confusion to fear.

His weaker half was momentarily appalled that she was afraid of him, but he silenced it. A decent amount of fear was healthy. Then she spoke.

"Kain?" So hesitant, so timid, as if she couldn't recognize the man who had been with her since childhood.

"Of course," he rumbled back at her, his deep voice neutral for the moment.

"You…" she swallowed, her eyes searching for his behind his helm. He smirked slightly, watching her try to choose words. "Why?"

"Why what?" He asked absently, raising a gloved hand and brushing the back of it against her cheek. His sharp eyes caught the movement of every strand of hair as it fell across his fingers. Rosa saw his distraction, he knew, and she swallowed again. Kain was rather enjoying this.

"You were going to kill him." Poor child. Poor sweet child, she sounded so injured. Obviously she wasn't capable of understanding what Cecil really was; how could Kain expect her to understand his motivations? Still, he reflected while trailing a finger through her hair, it couldn't hurt to try and explain things to her.

"Of course." He repeated, allowing the finger to continue down her neck to her collar bone. "It is a necessary thing, Rosa."

"Necessary?" she repeated, flinching back from him. He frowned at the implications of the gesture, but pushed his anger back. Her rejection of him came from her infatuation with Cecil. It would change soon enough. "How can you say that? How could you even think of killing Cecil?"

"Easily. You don’t truly know him, my Rosa." He brought the finger up under her chin. She hadn't looked away from him yet, but he was prepared to catch her if she did. He wanted her undivided attention for this. "Cecil," he said the name as if it were slime on his tongue, "Is an untrustworthy wretch, fit only to lead his rag tag group of soldiers back in Baron. He runs from his duty, denies what he knows to be true and stands in the way of the bright future the Master has planned." He leaned his face closer to hers, mere inches separating them now. "You waste yourself on such a low-born worm, Rosa."

"Kain, please," he barely heard what she was saying, he was too caught up in being close to her again, "You're being controlled, can't you see that? You wouldn't be saying these things if you weren't!"

"Wouldn't I?"

"No! You wouldn't!" She was becoming determined now, he thought with amusement. When Rosa was convinced of something it was surprisingly difficult to persuade her otherwise. She had a real stubborn streak inside of her. "Cecil is your best friend, Kain! You've both been through so much together. How can you turn your back on that?"

"It was all a lie, Rosa." Kain snapped back, his anger rising to the surface. "Cecil betrayed me, and betrayed Baron! He doesn't deserve your loyalty."

"What are you talking about?" He heard her waver, heard indecision in her voice and knew that it was time to make his move. "Kain, answer m-"

Moving quickly, not giving her time to continue, Kain brought his mouth forward onto hers and silenced her. Ecstasy at finally having her, finally being able to kiss her overcame him and he became oblivious to anything else. He brought one arm up and leaned it against the wall beside her head, holding her steady with the other hand and continuing to move his mouth against hers. Dimly he heard her muffled protests and sensed her distress, but pushed them away coldly. Idly he pushed her lips, silently requesting that she open them. He received no response and did not force the issue, but pulled back slowly instead.

"Cecil doesn't deserve you." He finished, observing her face to gauge her reaction. Blank shock was all he could see, which gradually changed to confusion. "Yet you insist on chasing after him. Why?"

"Kain, what's happened to you?" She answered, finally. He became annoyed that she was dodging his question. "You never used to speak like this, what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, Rosa," he answered, moving forward again, "I'm simply taking the initiative for once."He meant to catch her mouth again, but she turned her face away into her arm and he stopped. His annoyance was rapidly growing to irritation.

"Kain stop! This isn't like you." He heard the hurt in her voice, and it only served to anger him further. "Cecil and I can help you, Kain. Please, think! You wouldn't be doing this if Golbez weren't -"

"The Master has nothing to do with this, Rosa." He gripped her chin and pulled her face around to him once more. "This is me, all of me."

"Kain listen to yourself," she said quietly, stopping him momentarily, "Since when have you ever called anyone 'Master'?"

He froze, and then his anger came to a full boil. He knew that she was right.

"My eyes are open now, Rosa," he was careful not to let his rage show through. "I'm finally showing you what I feel, what I am. Did you not know?" He saw the understanding in her eyes, but it did not touch him. If she knew how he felt then why did she insist on tormenting him? "Rosa," He murmured her name and kissed her again, needy this time, more demanding. He was firmer in his movements, faster. He had drawn closer to her without realizing it, and when she squirmed her chest touched his. He stopped, breathing slightly faster.

"Kain, please," she had closed her eyes he noted, "Please don't do this."

"Why?" he demanded, gripping her chin. Old frustrations boiling to the surface. "Why is it always him, Rosa? What does Cecil have that I don't?"

"Kain, it's not that! It's not that I don’t care for you, too!" Her eyes flew open and he could see that she was telling the truth. But he could also see that her feelings for him weren't what he wanted. "Please don't think that! It's just that I lov-"

"Don’t you dare!" Kain snarled under his breath, slamming a fist into the wall next to her head. She flinched away, wincing at his sudden outburst. "Don't you dare finish that sentence!" He knew what she had been about to say, and it shattered him in ways he hadn't been prepared for. Desperate to sink back away from the truth he brought his face to hers for the third time. This time, ignoring her protests, he forced her mouth to open and entered her. Trying to drive off the thoughts that were beating inside his skull, the rejection he felt, he drowned himself in this previously forbidden pleasure. The hand that wasn't holding her face slid down to her waist and pulled her sharply to him, and he felt warmth coursing down to his midsection in response.

She was whimpering, struggling, now but he hadn't noticed. Briefly he pulled back to allow her to breathe and to catch his own breath. He trailed his nose down the line of her jaw, taking in the scent of her neck and brushing his lips against the vein beating beneath her fragile skin. It was a vital point he knew very well, one of his favorite targets on an enemy, and the sound of her life pulsing beneath his mouth was attractive to him. He brushed the spot with his lips, holding her firmly against him, and heard her gasp out.

"Kain please stop. Think about what you're doing! Please!"

He smirked and tenderly kissed the pulsing vein before moving to the hollow between her shoulder and her neck. She inhaled sharply and the sound sent another wave of heat to his stomach and loins. When he felt her draw in breath to speak again he moved to her mouth and silenced her, weary of her protests. This was one victory he was not going to risk losing to Cecil. He would have her.

Releasing her face he trailed his hand down to her chest without breaking their kiss. She tried to pull her mouth away, but when she opened it to speak he took the opportunity to insert his tongue and her voice was muffled. He toyed with the fabric separating her from him, feeling it's flimsiness before simply tearing it in half and letting it slide down. He didn't need to look, but he did pull away momentarily to yank his gloves off with his teeth. Rosa's breath had grown rapid, and he could sense her fear now.

"Kain… please…"

Perhaps it would have been better to do this after Cecil's death, but he wasn't going to stop now. Nibbling lightly at the base of her jaw he pulled her hips forward with one hand and began kneading her chest with the other. He hadn't given up yet on coaxing enjoyment out of her, Kain still wanted her to forget about Cecil and only focus on him for once. Consequently, he focused on trying to please her. He was firm but gentle, rubbing her nipple with his thumb and only squeezing lightly. At the same time he began to kiss her neck instead of nibbling it, using all of his skill. However, when she moaned it was not the sigh of pleasure he had wanted. Kain could tell that all Rosa was feeling was distress. He felt a touch of bitter regret that it would have to be this way for her, and hatred for Cecil for making it impossible for Rosa to love him.

He switched his attention to her other breast, moving his mouth back up to hers at the same time. Gently kissing the corner of her mouth, he tried one last time.

"Cecil could never touch you like this, he could never be what I can." He pulled back to watch her reaction and was surprised to see an injured, betrayed expression on her face.

"You're right," she breathed quietly, and he heard tears in her voice, "Cecil could never do what you are doing." There was no condemnation in her voice and no hatred, but his anger burst all the same. Rosa wouldn't even hate him, she was incapable of feeling even that for him. It was Cecil again, always Cecil. Well, let her cling to her precious Dark Knight. She was his, by choice or not, and he would never let her return to Cecil again.

Dropping his hand to the belt of his armor he unbuckled the metal plates protecting his waist and let them fall to the floor. He felt himself spring outward and up, free of the confining armor, and brought one of Rosa's legs up to his hip. Growling low in his throat he ground himself up against her and was pleased by the gasp and sob he received in response. Fastening his mouth onto her chest he began to nibble and suck while pulling her hips up into his. Her skin tasted good and the hot feeling of her against his length sent shivers of pleasure through his body. She was crying in earnest now, he knew, and he was strangely pleased by it. Finally he was getting a reaction of some sort.

He wrapped his fingers in her hair and pulled her face to his for another kiss, releasing her hips to untie the fabric around her waist. She closed her eyes, tears leaking down her cheeks, and something in the back of Kain's mind seemed to be crying with her. But the rest of him was reveling in this, quivering with pleasure. He ran his fingers up and down her thigh, teasing and tickling before hitching her up so that both of her legs were off of the floor; supported only by her bound arms and Kain's hips. He held her steady with both hands, positioning himself carefully. Dimly, from far off, he heard her pleading with him to stop but brushed it aside with ease.

Closing his eyes and fastening his mouth onto hers he thrust himself forward and upward. He felt her break before him, stretching to accommodate his size, and he muffled her scream with his tongue. The heat and the pressure around his length was incredible, and he moaned softly before beginning to move inside of her. He was slow at first, reveling in the sensation of sliding back and forth inside her; never withdrawing completely. He could smell her blood and felt vindictive pleasure in beating Cecil so absolutely to this one last victory. He owned Rosa now in a way that Cecil could never rival. She was truly, utterly his.

As his pleasure increased so did his need, and Kain finally ceased to pay any attention to Rosa's comfort. He began shoving with more force and at a greater pace, driving relentlessly toward the peak of his pleasure. His face was buried in her hair and even while he was caught up with the sensations from his loins he was also acutely aware of how soft her skin and hair were and how wonderful they smelled.

In and out, he lost track of time. Every time he felt himself approaching a climax Kain would force himself to slow, to stop if it was necessary. Rosa had ceased sobbing, but the tears were still running down her face. She had turned away from him, pressing her face into the side of her arm and refusing to look at him. He didn't really care, it had no effect on his domination of her.

Finally there came a point when he could not stop himself. His thrusts became erratic. He pulled out faster and shoved himself back inside with more force. Finally he gave one last thrust and felt his seed spilling inside of her. The enormity of his release threatened to make him faint, but he clung to consciousness grimly; pulling her hips forward so that they joined with his and forcing her to accept the final part of their joining.

When it was over he leaned against her weakly, a weariness he had never known before claiming him. She did not struggle, only remained still and allowed him to use her to steady himself. With a sigh, he pulled back away from her. She flinched at his exit, obviously in pain, but for once his weaker half was silent and he felt no guilt. Feeling rather smug but very tired, Kain gathered his dropped pieces of armor and reattached them. After a quick moment's thought he took pity on Rosa and refastened her clothes as best he could. It wouldn't do to leave his possessions out where everyone could see them.

Blinking, he gently rubbed the side of her face with his hand and kissed her cheek. She did not flinch, but she didn't look at him either.

"Mine," he murmured very softly, "You are mine, Rosa." Her eyes closed at his words, her bruised lips tightened and her face pulled into a slight frown. Kain turned on his heel and walked out - heading for his chambers, and telling himself that he did not feel as though a part of him had died in that room.