Smack My Bitch Up

Title: Smack My Bitch Up

Author: Naria Lacour de Fanel

Pairing: Chaotic Valenwind

Rating: R

Warnings: Strong language because of CID! Slight OOC-ness.
Spoilers: If you don’t know FF7 and you’re reading this, you’re fired.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of these characters! Squeenix (SquareEnix) does, I swear it! I don’t own “Smack My Bitch Up”, either. I just stole the title from Prodigy’s awesome song. I keep using song titles for non-songfics… I oughta change my pitch up! Heh heh. Oh. I fail.

A/N: Where the fuck is all the Valenwind?! Chaos is involved and he is the Dirge version, because that is infinitely more pleasing to the eye (or, mind in this case) than 7’s polygons…even with the ridiculous spiky red headdress thing. (He’s like what would happen if Sasuke in cursed seal form ever had babies with Orgy XIII’s Axel…O_o)

//Chaos’ mental interjections//
/Vincent’s mental interjections/
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Cid knew it was going to be a shit-tacular day. There was just something innately wrong with the atmosphere. Everything felt unnatural, unsettling; a storm was brewing somewhere in his general vicinity but the exact location was infuriatingly elusive. It felt like he was being stalked by a little demon monkey preparing to fling metaphorical poo all over his cheery existence.

It really didn’t help that Vincent was missing. Again.

The brooding bastard had been leaving their bed in the middle of the night a lot lately. The pilot assumed it was just part of his nature. The emo-boy always came back by the time Cid was ready to hit the sack anyway, so it didn’t really matter, it just irked him a little. Come to think of it, Vincent had hardly been around him at all this week…Cid sighed in irritation. As long as the gunman was safe and not angsting over his troubled past it would just have to be alright by him. It’s not like he could do anything to stop Vincent’s strange anti-social tendencies. Cid Highwind was a kicker of asses, not a nag. And Vincent’s ass had certainly felt the sting of Cid’s boot (among other things) plenty enough. He figured that his non-invasive attitude was the only reason they could keep a relationship going anyway.

Ignoring the heavy atmosphere and the pointed absence of his lover, Cid decided that he would go to the galley and make himself some nice safe tea. Where there is tea, there is hope. And presumably caffeine. He reckoned he would need all the energy he could get to cope with whatever was coming his way.

Just as Cid was pulling down his favorite mug, the demon monkey decided to finally let the poo fly when somebody violently tackled the captain, knocking him to the linoleum. Cid fell to the floor with a curse. His mug, his FAVORITE fuckin’ mug, shattered into a million tiny pieces, and a heavy, stupidly pointy body fell across his!

“Get the fuck offa me!” Cid bellowed as his shoulders were suddenly pinned to the floor by a body much more solid than his own.

“Why, Cid, is that any way to greet your boyfriend?” the annoyingly familiar voice of Chaos purred into the pilot’s ear. The demon mocked him by grinding his hips into Cid‘s.

“Ya ain’t my fuckin’ boyfriend, batboy!” the blonde spat, his hackles raised. This shit was getting old! Every time the demon got a boner, he came to Cid to try get some action! He’d done it five times this week already. The only thing that had literally saved Cid’s ass was his knowledge of his ship and how and where he could run to fast. And Vince never seemed to remember any of it. Now he was pinned beneath a slathering hornball with fangs! Yeah. Not fun.

“Like it or not, I am an integral part of Vincent,” Chaos pronounced the name with complete and utter abhorrence, “…so shouldn’t I get some of your precious love, too?” The demon grinned as he lifted himself up onto his knees to hover over his hostage.

“Yer nothin’ but a fuckin’ pain in the ass!” the pilot hissed, trying to shove the transformed gunman off of him. Unfortunately his efforts went unrewarded.

“I can be, if you’d let me,” the demon mused in a mocking purr, ducking his head down to take a deep sniff of his captive’s neck. The man reeked of rage and had the slightest tang of adrenaline. Lovely. “I should still get a chance, right? Every time I try to seduce you I get turned down. Why is that?”

Cid gave up on his struggling, knowing full well it was futile now. With an annoyed sigh, he pulled a cig from behind his ear and casually lit a match off of Chaos’ hard carapace. “Can’t stand that I might not like ya, huh?” he murmured with a smug grin, taking a satisfying drag and blowing the smoke in the demon’s face.

Chaos sneered at the man’s arrogance. “What’s his is mine, Highwind! That includes you,” the demon snarled as he roughly grabbed Cid’s crotch, making the captain grunt in pain. “And I mean that in every sense!”

Cid’s grin immediately melted away, and his expression went from indulgent amusement to hard warning.

“Ya better get yer fuckin’ hands offa me, Batty, or yer gonna get a face full’a knuckles in ‘bout 5 seconds!” Cid spat back. Chaos only chuckled at him.

“You couldn’t hurt this body, could you?” the demon cooed in a lilting voice. “He’s your angel, your warmth, your safety. He is, as you disgusting humans rationalize, your soul mate. You wouldn’t dare,” Chaos growled, voice dripping with distain and challenge.

Cid’s eyebrow twitched.

“If ya think I’d describe my Vince with frilly-ass words like that, yer mental! And if ya really think ya can hide behind that pretty face, ya got another thing comin’, fucker!”

In the blink of an eye, Cid braced his arms, lifted his leg, kneed the demon in the balls HARD to knock the wind out of him, socked him full force in the jaw, and rolled the stunned Chaos off of him. Once the demon was on the floor, Cid quickly stood up, kicked Chaos in the chest for good measure and walked over to the stove to start the kettle.

Fuck! All he wanted was some fuckin’ tea!

“I ain’t opposed ta smackin’ a bitch if he’s outta line,” the pilot snapped, pulling down another mug. “An’ I hope ya take every offense, ya asshole! Now quit fuckin’ ‘round in my man’s head without his goddamn permission!”

“…why?” Chaos uncharacteristically wheezed. He had truly been caught off guard by Cid’s assault and it did not please him. He hadn’t felt real pain in ages, let alone having been outsmarted by a human! That man actually hit the host! Cid Highwind was one impressive man, unlike all the sniveling people that were instantly cowed from just one glare.

“I can tell what yer thinkin’ there,” Cid’s rumbling voice interrupted the demon’s thoughts. “Ya think yer so much better than me jus’ ‘cause I’m a human? Ya think ya can scare me like all them pissants that run from their own damn shadows? I ain’t afraida nothin’ in Vince, but I ain’t no fuckin’ pet and I certainly ain’t no whore! I ain’t gonna take yer bullshit, an’ you can’t take from me what I won’t give, dumbass! So shut the hell up an’ come talk ta me when yer done bein’ a fucktard throwin’ a hissy fit!”

Cid took a long drag off his cig and grinned down at the demon. “I might be waitin’ a while, but I’ve been known ta be patient.”

So the mate wasn’t just bark, he had a nasty bite, too, Chaos mused. The demon groaned in pain and couldn’t stop himself from smirking at the pilot. “You’re always full of surprises, Highwind. No wonder he’s so fond of you…”

Chaos closed his eyes and melted away leaving a slumbering Vincent Valentine on the cold galley floor. Cid sniffed as he finally poured himself some tea.

“Damn, if I’d known kickin’ that fucker in the balls would get him ta leave me the hell alone, I’da done it the first time! Horny bastard!” Cid mumbled to himself, looking down at his lover.

“Oh, shit,” he murmured sheepishly to no one in particular. “I’m gonna have one helluva time explainin’ ta Vin why his balls hurt…”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Vincent groaned his way into consciousness. He’d had the week from hell. Chaos had been trying to resurface for a while. Actually he’d hardly had any peace since he had taken residence up on the Highwind. But something had really been irritating the demon lately and Vincent kept losing control at the stupidest times; like at 3AM while he and Cid were sleeping (or at least trying to). Or when he was trying to help Cid load shipments. Or when he and Cid were-

Damn it.

It was Cid.

Why the hell didn’t he see it before?! Was he blind, or just so deep in denial he refused to see? No, he was just too stupid to see the blaring obvious. Cid was making Chaos restless. He was getting damn persistent about it, too! The demon had always had a lewd commentary running through his host’s mind about the pilot, but Vincent began to wonder if there was some true desire hidden in there. What if Chaos really wanted Cid, too? Chaos was decidedly male, so he likely had the same needs as most men, too. He just couldn’t express them. Vincent really didn’t care if he did. But the gunman staunchly refused to let any of his demons in on any intimate moments. It would be rude to Cid…and awkward to say the least. Vincent supposed he could give Chaos control long enough to rub one out, but he doubted that would satisfy his desires.

Well, it didn’t matter for the time being. Apparently, Chaos had helped himself to Vincent’s body since this ceiling wasn’t the one he remembered falling asleep under. This was becoming the disturbing norm for the ex-turk. If he wasn’t mistaken, this was the galley ceiling…Great. What exactly had Chaos been up to? Raiding the fridge?

//No, I wasn’t in search of sustenance, host.// The demon growled sarcastically in his head. //I was trying to have a little fun.//

“Ah…” Vincent groaned as he sat up, shaking off his fatigue. He immediately doubled over with a grunt. “Why do I feel like I got nailed in the crotch?” he panted out trying to mask his pain.

A snort of distain from Chaos.

“That’s ‘cause I had ta show yer demon friend some manners,” the familiar voice of the ship’s captain drawled. Vincent sighed in resignation. Apparently Chaos had been busy pissing off Cid. And, god, his ribs and jaw hurt, too!

//Ask your mate exactly why you’re in pain. You’ll love the answer.//

“What did you two do? Have a fist fight?” Vincent winced, clutching his chest.

//Of sorts.//

“Nah, he jus’ tried ta jump my bones as usual,” Cid said matter-of-factly as he held out a hand to help the gunman up.

“He what?!” Vincent nearly yelled, truly surprised though he knew he shouldn’t have been. “What do you mean ‘as usual‘?”

A mocking chuckle from the demon.

“Hey, calm down, Vince,” Cid said with a grin as he tugged the ex-turk to his feet. “Nuthin’ ta worry ’bout. It’s jus’ I think ‘ol Batty’s got the hots for me ‘cause he keeps tryin’ ta get inta my pants is all.”

//You can’t blame me. All you ever think about is his hard body rubbing all over yours while he-//

Vincent pointedly ignored the demon and looked over his lover, an expression of concern on his face. “Why didn’t you tell me before? I could have taken precautions…”

“It ain’t like I can’t take care of myself, ya know,” Cid snorted, taking a lengthy drink of his long awaited tea.

“But what if he had done something horrible to you?”

//He refused me, the ungrateful wretch!//

“Well, he didn’t before and he didn’t this time. I think we’ve finally reached an understandin’.”

“By understanding, you mean fisticuffs,” Vincent mumbled rubbing his sore jaw.

//He is rather feisty!// the demon purred. //I like a good challenge…//

“Yeah, well, he was a lil’ too forward. I don’t take kindly ta that kinda behavior. He paid me a rudeness, I paid him a whoopin’. Fair deal, far as I’m concerned.”

“Except he’s making you abuse my body...“ the gunman murmured, looking angry and dejected at the same time.

//That’s right, host! He didn’t give a damn that you’d suffer for my transgressions. Isn’t that nice? Isn’t he so considerate? What a wonderful choice for a mate!//

Like a cat could sense an earthquake, Cid could sense his lover’s mood. Vincent was about to go into his self-hating broody mode, and that meant the man might go missing for days at a time. It really wouldn’t help with anything. If Vincent wanted control over his demons, or himself, he would need to take it! Cid wasn’t about to stand by and let his boyfriend beat the living hell out of himself over something that could be solved so easily, if only the stubborn fool would see it!

Time to light a fire under the man’s ass!

“How else am I supposed ta handle this bullshit, Vince?” Cid sneered, willingly taking on the role of the bad guy. “It’s not like he’s jus’ gonna take no fer an answer, and I sure as hell ain’t gonna let him think he can get away with shit jus’ ‘cause he’s in yer body! If ya think I need protectin’ you oughta be the first line of defense! He’s been in yer body for over 30 years, and ya still can’t control him? I don’t know nothin’ ‘bout demons, but I know ‘bout self discipline, and ya ain’t got enough!”

Vincent’s ruby eyes sparked to life suddenly, smoldering with anger.

“I can’t control how he acts!” the gunman barked, outraged and hurt. “He’s a completely different being than me! I didn’t ask for him to share my body!”

//It’s not like I want to be trapped in the body of a self loathing hypocrite, either.//

“I’m sure he feels the same way Vince! But both y’all gotta understand that yer the same person now. Maybe ya weren’t before, but ya are now and it ain’t changin’ anytime soon! Jus’ suck it up and learn ta get along!”

“We are NOT the same, Highwind!” the ex-turk snarled, and Chaos’ voice echoed him.

“See? There’s yer problem,” Cid sighed in irritation. “Yer both completely in denial! Both y’all are idiots!”

“If we’re supposedly the same person, then why do you accept me and not him?” Vincent hissed, challenging his lover ferociously.

//Good question.//

Pain, worry, and fear shown plainly in his garnet eyes, thinly veiled behind anger. Vincent had tried his damnedest to keep this ugly part of him controlled and hidden, and all his efforts had failed. He was ashamed of himself and wanted nothing more than to deny what Cid had said, but he knew the man was right. Damnit! But who in their right mind would embrace an unpredictable demon?

Seeing the anguish in Vincent’s eyes, Cid’s voice softened considerably. “’Cause he wants me jus’ ta want me. You want me ‘cause I am me. Until ya two reach an understandin’ of yer own, I don’t think he’ll ever see me the way you do.”

Vincent stared hard at the linoleum. He just couldn’t bring himself to say anything to that, and Chaos was strangely contemplative as well. Cid wanted him to accept Chaos as part of himself. Vincent knew in the long run, they could all possibly benefit from it. But at what cost? What if Chaos was more than he seemed? He was a nightmare as it was. Was it worth the risk? And could Chaos really become a part of him if Vincent allowed it? Vincent had lived so long thinking of the demons as “them”, not “us”, and certainly not “me”. They were separate entities with different needs and drives…at least they had been. Sometime after the defeat of Sephiroth, Deathgigas, Hellmasker, and the Beast had fallen silent.

//Of course they’re silent. They’re all mine now, host. Willingly, I might add.// the demon growled in his head. //If you even cared to speak to us, you’d know that, fool.//

All the more reason to never let it happen. Chaos only wanted complete control.

“It’s not that simple…” he whispered to Cid, leaning heavily on the counter.

//Of course it’s not! I want to put your body to good use for raping and pillaging while you just want to live happily ever after. Of course, your little mate doesn’t seem to understand my nature.//

“I know it ain’t simple. If it was, you’da done it already,” Cid said softly as he closed the distance between them. He leaned heavily into Vincent and brought the man’s face up with a finger crooked under his chin. “I mean it when I say I ain’t scared of nothin’ in ya, Vince, ‘cause alla’ it is parta’ who ya are. Ain’t nobody nowhere I love more than you. But I ain’t gonna let ya rip yerself apart, neither. Ya gotta accept alla’ yerself. I can’t do all the work myself, ya know?” the pilot finished with an awkward chuckle.

“And I mean that ta ya, too, Batty!” Cid said, looking into Vincent’s eyes. “Both y’all gotta work on this together.”

Chaos snorted. The gunman sighed tiredly. Cid smiled and gently pulled Vincent into his arms and held him. Vincent tensed up, still on edge because of Chaos’ aggressive behaviors.

“I wanna love ev’ry bit a’ ya, if ya’d jus’ let me,” the captain whispered into ebony tresses.

Leave it to Cid Highwind to say something so simple, but have it mean so much. Both Vincent and the demon were rendered speechless by the frank admission. Cid had always been honest with his feelings, ever since the day they found themselves in a drunken embrace in their shared inn room. Cid said he never wanted to let Vincent go, and he hadn’t in all the years they’d been together. But the pilot had never addressed Vincent’s demons…mostly because the gunman kept such a tight leash on them that he never gave Cid the chance. And if Cid brought it up, Vincent would shut him out and go off to brood. After a while, the captain stopped trying, because he never wanted to cause the man any pain. But now the truth was out.

The gunman was honestly touched, and he wanted so badly to just embrace the man back, to let him know just how much everything meant to him. Without Cid, he would just be a miserable tormented person with little to live for and nothing to love. He would only exist. But so much held him back from sharing all he could with his lover and best friend. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, it was that he simply could not trust what essentially was himself.

//The human wants to love…us? Not just you, but us? That’s… interesting.// the demon’s surprised thoughts broke the heavy contemplation.

Vincent was taken aback by Chaos’ musings. Of course Cid meant what he said. Why wouldn’t he?

//Humans rarely mean what they say, especially when it comes to matters of their fickle hearts. More often than not, they only listen to their cocks! What if this is just a ploy to get into our tight leather pants? What if he just wants to get us all hot and bothered with his fake sincerity so he can bend us over and-//

Vincent sneered at the demon.

“Stop thinking with YOUR cock, you damn hypocrite!” the gunman snarled.

Shocked out of his peaceful reverie of holding his lover close, Cid raised an eyebrow and backed up a little. He looked into Vincent’s eyes cautiously.
“I take it ya weren’t talkin’ ta me there, right?”

Vincent grumbled in dismay and flushed, only now realizing he had been yelling at Chaos out loud. He tiredly rubbed his forehead and sighed. “No, Chief, I was talking to Chaos.”

The pilot only smiled and hugged Vincent again. “S’alright. I know it’s gonna take a while, Vin. I plan on bein’ ‘round till it stops bein’ ‘Vince n’ Chaos’, and it become jus’ you, so long as all’a ya is mine.” Cid leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to Vincent’s lips. “I jus’ wanted batboy ta understand that ’till that happens I ain’t gonna sit by an’ let him be an ass. If he wants a piece o’ Highwind, he’s gotta earn it, damnit!”

That piqued the demon’s interest. //Oh, really? Let me get this straight. To get laid all I have to do is pretend I like you, host? And I have act like I give a flying fuck about the mate’s feelings? That’s easy!// Vincent mentally rolled his eyes. The gunman could feel the derision in the comment about himself, but he could also tell that Chaos felt showing respect for Cid would be an easier task than previously thought. Mainly because he could tell the demon already liked the pilot…in a more than amused way. Not that Chaos would ever admit that.

And then Vincent had an amazing realization.

With all the gaps in his memories over the past week it meant that Chaos had taken over more than he had assumed. And many of those times, Vincent knew he had been in close proximity to the pilot. Undoubtedly numerous times he had been close to a very vulnerable sleeping and/or drunk pilot. Chaos could have taken what he wanted from Cid at any time. It was a frightening thought, but even with all the opportunities available to take Cid, one thing was painfully clear:

He hadn’t.

Vincent did the equivalent of a mental jaw drop while his mind raced. What did that mean? Why would Chaos not take advantage when he could? Could the demon actually care for Cid? But, there seemed to be more to it. Why had Chaos been goading both of them so much? He’d provoked both of them. Cid answered with the truth in his own simple and endearing way. Vincent answered with anger and self hatred. What was it Chaos wanted from this? And a strange thought suddenly occurred to Vincent. It really didn’t seem plausible, but it could explain a few things…

Had Chaos been testing them?

Vincent received mental applause for his reflections.

//Yes, host. *clap*clap* Good job seeing past your own prejudice! I do happen to have the mental capacity to think beyond sex, destruction, and tormenting you!// the demon sneered sarcastically. //Did you honestly believe I could fully take over this body? Your soul was the one placed here, idiot! Sadly, I am only a resident. But that doesn’t mean I have to sit back and watch you ruin the life I have no choice but to live! Our mate must be strong and loyal to us alone. Had he been a filthy slut only after our body, I would have destroyed him!//

So that’s what all this had been about? But why the hell would Chaos care about the kind of relationship he and Cid had? Vincent had assumed that Chaos was above human relationships and emotions.

//And you know the saying: ‘When you make an assumption, you make an ass out of ‘you’ and ‘umption.’// came another sarcastic remark from the demon.

//Self absorbed, much? I feel everything you do, host, sometimes more deeply than I care to admit! Your pain is mine, and so your misery is mine as well. Your stupid, pandering, self obsessed misery… // Chaos trailed off for a moment.

//We both know that fruitless relationships with shallow idiots would only make you more angsty. Cid Highwind is… good for us. I’ve been in your head too long to ignore human emotion, and I know what happiness tastes like. The mate gives us that, and I think I…li-, er, accept it. //

Chaos was right. Vincent had no idea. He had always taken the safer course and just kept the demon under tight control instead of trying to understand him at all. And here Chaos had been trying to protect both of them. It was sort of endearing.

//Don’t even, host! I’m doing this for me! It just so happens that my goals are mutually beneficial, not that you deserve to benefit!//

Again, Vincent mentally rolled his eyes. If Chaos’ motives were the truth, Vincent slightly regretted not trying to compromise earlier. It would have made things much easier for both of them.

//This doesn’t mean I’ll just take Highwind’s words at face value! Humans are notoriously capricious bastards! Just as I have to prove myself to him, he must continue to prove himself to me! //

Meaning, in Chaos’ eyes, Cid had already-

“Vin?” came Cid’s concerned voice. “Ya alright? Havin’ a talk with yerself?”

Vincent shook his head slightly, bringing himself back to the world. “Yes,” he murmured.

“Not fightin’, I hope?”

“Of course we are,” Vincent sighed with a slight smile. “But, nothing we can’t handle. I think we’ve reached sort of an understanding.”

“Glad ta hear it,” Cid chuckled, cheered by Vincent’s better mood. The gunman gently wrapped his arms around Cid and buried his face in the pilot’s neck, satisfying his long held desire.

“Only you, Cid Highwind, would be glad of my consorting with demons,” Vincent softly laughed against the blonde’s neck. Cid smiled and held his lover tighter.

“Now ya jus’ make it sound dirty,” the captain sniggered, enjoying the warmth of the other man’s body. “But that kinda’ consortin’ would jus’ be masturbatin’, wouldn’t it?” he couldn’t resist a lewd waggle of his eyebrows. “Now, that I’d like ta see!”

Vincent balked and visibly blanched while Chaos reeled in his head.

“NO!” the ex-turk and the demon yelled simultaneously. It gave Vincent’s voice a strange tinny echoing quality, and it sent Cid into peals of gut busting laughter.

Vincent looked down to the hunched over (and still breathlessly laughing) pilot and felt a bit of annoyance at the sight. The idea of himself and Chaos…The gunman shuddered with repulsion at the thought.

If he had the capacity, Chaos’ eye would have twitched in disgust. //So the mate finds this amusing, eh? If he finds the idea of the two of us so comical…//

/…Let’s teach him a lesson?/

//Indeed.//

For once, Chaos and Vincent agreed on a course of action, and it hadn’t torn a hole in the fabric of reality. Both were surprised, but mostly amused. Perhaps a melding wouldn’t be so bad after all.

“I-I’m sorry, Vince,” the pilot gasped between bouts of laughter as he righted himself to lean against the counter. He still couldn’t withhold a snicker or two as he wiped a tear away. “But the look on yer face was jus’-”

But he was suddenly and completely silenced by the gunman. Vincent firmly pressed into Cid, forcefully captured his mouth, and kissed the living daylights out of him! The blonde’s laughter was forgotten completely in the heat of the sudden domination.

Cid liked it.

A lot.

He would be a fool to say no when he was usually the one to instigate! So, Cid relaxed and just let his lover do as he was wont. He didn’t even draw back when he felt the prick of fangs, nor the awkward feeling of shifting and hardening skin where there shouldn’t be. He just went along for the ride, well aware of what was going on, and still enjoying every second of it. Eventually, they had to part for air, and Cid was left to stare into the mildly surprised amber eyes of Chaos.

“You didn’t push me away this time,” Chaos grinned, a slight tone of amazement in his voice.

“Why the hell would I? I never said I didn’t like ya, and ya didn’t try ta maul me or nothin’ this time.”

“But you said-”

“I said ya could talk ta me when ya quit bein’ a fucktard. Seems ta me ya got over yer self fuckery there. ‘Sides, Vin would never let ya out in this kinda situation ‘less he meant ta. That means yer makin’ some goddamn progress,” Cid said with a smug grin.

Chaos looked down at their mate in pure wonder. Cid Highwind really was an amazing piece of work.

/That he is./

“How do you know?”

“Let’s jus’ say I trust both of ya, as shit-fer-brains both o’ ya can be,” the pilot quipped. “I know Vince can hear me now, can’t he? Ya ain’t hidin’ him no more?”

/Yes, I can hear him. Though I do resent the ’shit-for-brains’ comment./

Chaos gave him a slight nod, and Cid grinned wider in response. But the demon, unsure of where he stood, had to know…

“Are you sure-”

“Goddamnit!” Cid growled and yanked the demon’s face closer, interrupting his question. “ ‘Course I’m sure! Now shut the fuck up an’ kiss me, ya pointy bastard!”

/You heard the man./

Chaos grinned lecherously as crushed the blonde to his chest desperately and did precisely as he was told.

It wasn’t a kiss per se but more of a vicious tongue orgy attempting some semblance of a kiss. It failed horribly. Chaos kissed him hard enough to make both of them bleed, and went harder still. To him, the captain was a tall glass of water, a comparison the grizzled man might appreciate, and Chaos was damn thirsty. Even with the dangerous nips and bone crushing embrace, Cid never drew back, never backed down, and refused to back out.

No, Cid was a fighter. So what did he do? He joined the fray and started viciously pulling off belts! Damn it all if he wasn’t horny as all hell, too!

Chaos took the hint, and “liberated” Cid of his trademark blue shirt with a flick of a claw or two.

/Oh, no, you didn’t-/

Cid suddenly broke their intense face eating battle to glower at him menacingly.

“That was my fav’rite shirt, asshole! Ya ever do that again…” the captain growled dangerously. “… an’ yer gonna find out jus’ how well ya can fly at this altitude with ice on yer wings, Batty!”

Chaos had to bite his tongue to prevent a scathing retort, something revolving around how he’d never know the difference since all his shirts had the same indistinguishable grease stains (and he wisely knew he would only regret saying it anyway) and gave Cid a nod of understanding. The blonde glared, then smiled angelically.

“Good,” the blonde drawled happily, snaking his hands down the front of his lover’s pants. “’Nough with the talkin’ , let’s get ta the fuckin’ !”

Chaos had to fight the urge to drool stupidly.

/Yes. He does that to you./ Vincent murmured smugly.

No more words. Chaos wanted Cid BAD!

To be continued…

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
So many apostrophes! @_@ The endless fount of wisdom pouring from Cid brought to life through a country-boy twang is damn endearing. And if you disagree, well you can jus’ kiss ma grits! Heh.

I shamelessly stole the “assumption” line from The Long Kiss Goodnight. Great movie.

This story was born of a little scene I got in my head where Cid was yelling at a rightfully punched and stunned Chaos :”I ain’t opposed to smackin’ a bitch if he’s outta line!” I had been reading a Valenwind where Cid had abused spouse syndrome and it pissed me off. Cid don’t take no crap from nobody! XD Somewhere along the way a semi-plot developed...I can’t stand Vincent when he’s totally in denial of his shortcomings. Whiny bitch! But he is so wrapped up in himself…argh! I love to hate that emotionally constipated man.

Smut is up next!