Pick-up Lines

Tifa leaned on the counter, watching with amusement as a certain plastered redhead wandered away from the bar. She had to admit, this was one of her favorite parts of the night, especially when things were slow enough that she could really listen. She pulled out one of her notebooks and a pen as the male approached a brunette by herself near the window.

Reno studied the woman. She gave off brainy, scientist vibes. Hmm, hadn't he seen her around the loud pilot? He pulled off what he thought was a confident and handsome grin, not realizing that he swayed as he stood next to the table, "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"

The woman looked up, blinking at him over her glasses before she frowned in disgust, "Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore."

He huffed, walking away. Her loss. She was probably a lesbian anyway. Not that he wouldn't mind watching some of that. He smirked as he saw another cutie sitting near the fireplace with a book. Sure it was a guy but that didn't faze him any. Taking another drink, he combed his hair back before purring at the slender young man, "Is this seat empty?"

Reno could have sworn he recognized the green eyes that looked up at him with cool disdain but he couldn't place it, "Yes, and this one will be if you sit down."

He frowned, unsure why such a saucy little number would say no to him. Shrugging, he decided the guy wasn't worth it, turning away only to see another platinum blond beauty. Maybe the ice queen's younger brother? He eyed the shorter male appreciatively as he sauntered over, decided to go for a blunt approach, "Your place or mine?"

Once again, eerily familiar green eyes turned up to him, seeming to consider. Doing a mental dance of victory, he blinked as the youth scoffed, "Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine."

His alcohol-addled brain worked to figure that out before he found a clever response, "Fine with me, I don't care where you go after we're done in the car."

A large and overly muscular figure stepped in front of the nymph, practically growling at him. Blinking, he stepped back from the male who looked to be the eldest brother to the other two. Grumbling about his cursed luck, Reno stumbled back to the bar and ordered another drink before looking over to see a very lovely figure on the other end with long hair nearly to her ass. Not much in the curves department but that wasn't necessary for him. Scooting a few seats closer, he winked, "So, what do you do for a living?"

A surprisingly deep, smooth voice left the other as Reno found himself staring into yet another pair of green cat-eyes, "I'm a female impersonator."

Though he wasn't normally put off by other males, cross-dressers weirded him out. And there was something about this one that screamed dangerous. He knew he would get way more than he bargained for and so he returned to his original place at the bar.

A couple more drinks settled into his system before a new person entered the bar. Reno looked the Wutaiian girl over carefully, nodding to himself as he saw more feminine curves under the tube top and skirt that left little to the imagination. He immediatly moved to intercept her, grinning, "Hey baby, what's your sign?"

The girl rolled her eyes and shoved her way past him, muttering, "Do not enter."

He watched her head over to the table where the first geeky chick was, blinking as the two talked animatedly. Damn lesbians. Couldn't they at least be bi? Bemoaning his luck, he sat down, unaware that he sat on someone's table until he heard a small aggrivated sigh.

Looking down, he realized he was sitting not only on a table, but on several papers that had enough graphs and math equations to make his head spin. A tapping pencil drew his attention to a very young woman with red hair and blue eyes. His eyes tried to tell his brain that this one was way too young but somehow, he didn't believe it. No way a kid could be writing stuff that complex.

Giving it another try, he smirked, "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"

The young woman blinked in surprise before frowning, responding with a near-monotone, "Unfertilized."

Ouch. Taking the hint rather quickly despite his inebriated state, Reno shambled over to where his partner was sitting. He knew he could always count on the dark-skinned male to give him a good lay, "Your body is like a temple."

The other Turk put his glasses on, his amusement with Reno's antics running short this night, "Sorry, there are no services today."

Stunned, the redhead watched as his normally silent partner went to the ice queen's table, apparently saying something right as he earned a light, melodic laugh. Fuming, Reno was determined to not leave the bar alone. The door opened, letting in another new patron, one with hair only a slightly darker shade of red than Reno's.

Watching him for a moment, the drunken Turk noticed the Loveless book sticking from the back pocket of those deliciously tight leather pants. So he took the more poetic approach as he moved towards the man, "I would go to the end of the world for you."

Blue eyes glanced at him boredly, his voice snobbish, "But would you stay there?"

Anger and frustration getting the best of him, Reno opened his mouth to cuss the man for a dog when the cross-dresser practically draped himself over the snob's shoulders. Recognizing the possesive glare he was getting from the creepy cat eyes, he quickly headed for the darker, quieter part of the bar.

There was less to choose from in this section, he noted as he looked it over. A flash of scarlet cloth caught his attention and he was drawn to it like a moth to the flame. A dark figure sat quietly to himself, a leather bound novel in one hand and a glass of dark wine on the table. Reno grinned. Another man with good looks.

Deciding to test the waters first, he sat down across from the man, watching him. Strangely glowing red eyes glanced at him before returning to the book. No disgust, that was good right? No real interest though either. But he could fix that. Taking another drink, he leaned back, eying the slim, leather clad figure with a purr of approval, "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy."

At first, the dark-haired man only blinked, looking up from the book as though to make sure Reno was talking to him. Then, a deep voice like velvet came from behind the high-collared cloak, "If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

Sputtering, Reno stumbled to his feet and stomped to the bar, leaving money for his drinks before he went for the door. Fuck this! He was going someplace with some people that knew quality when they saw it!

Tifa waited a moment after the door closed before laughing and closing the notebook, "Looks like the winner again tonight is Vincent!"

Several people grumbled as they pulled out money and paid their bets to the gunman who only smirked as he took another sip of wine.